Raindrops (poem)

The raindrops of that evening still return

Upon the dim lit streets of long ago

My heart still bears the pain within its flow

As moments wash away all clear discern

-

Within its stream is washed away regret

The blossoms which were for another day

Before the winds of winter wrought decay

And seeds of always in a soul were set

-

There in wet streets are echoes of a past

As drops of ever cast their timeless song

Of dreams and wishes destined to go wrong

In love’s confusion raindrops meant to last

-

So once again the streets will see me cry

With raindrops of the night she said goodbye

Music only

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Comments 14 comments

Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Stirring and haunting words here of that dim lit street with the raindrops falling and that pain from then still remaining in the heart.

Perfect haunting piano music too.

Up and more and sharing

God bless you,

Faith Reaper


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

This is beautifully writted Martin. The sadness and pain expressed in this piece is heartfelt


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Just plain bleak.


jhamann profile image

jhamann 3 years ago from Reno NV

Well done Martin. Jamie


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

What a sad and wistful poem, and the music really complements it. It is easy to cry in the rain - the tears mix with the raindrops.

Thanks for sharing this with us, and I hope you have a great Sunday.

~ Kathryn


James-wolve profile image

James-wolve 3 years ago from Morocco

Wow so beautiful .Pain takes time to be washed.Voted up!


DJ Anderson 3 years ago

Most of us can relate with the sad, yearning heart which

can find no solace.

You have evoked memories from long ago.

Brilliant work, Martin. Your talents know no bounds.

You are the poet master!

DJ.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Seeds of always within a soul were set... Love the way you use words!


Max Havlick profile image

Max Havlick 3 years ago from Villa Park, Illinois

Yes, Martin, I concur with these comments by your readers. This sonnet communicates a beautiful, clear message, showing both poetic talent and promise for the future. Especially impressive to me, your insertion of two inventive phrases, "seeds of always" and "drops of ever," into the rigorous format of a classical sonnet.

May I suggest for line 6 you try "The blossoms blooming for another day," and see how you like it. For one thing, it removes a vacant passive "which were" (still leaving two other passives in the same 4 lines), but also the two "b" words in line 6 would help highlight your excellent alliterative use of three "w" words in line 7 ("before the winds of winter wrought decay") and four "s" sounds in line 8 ("and seeds of always in a soul were set").

For line 8 why not try the same words in active voice? I.e., "and set the seeds of always in a soul," because "the winds of winter" is still your active working subject of the verb "set," and the change might make your meaning that much clearer.

But overall, this work contains many signs you diligently study sonnet craftsmanship, and I commend and encourage any work that shows such talent and hard work. Best wishes,

Max, Workshop for Writers, Sept. 29, 2013


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 3 years ago from Victoria, Australia

Some pains fade a little with time, but never disappear. Lovely, thoughtful poem. You are such a master at this kind of poetry it's always a treat to read.


Tuatha profile image

Tuatha 3 years ago from Fayetteville, NC

Love the rain, it does much for the soul as do the tears we cry. Thank you Martin!


vkwok profile image

vkwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

A sad but lovely piece.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. You certainly can pull at the heartstrings. Pearling.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

Rain can be the tears of humanity collected and distributed all at once.

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    Martin Kloess (Mhatter99)596 Followers
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