Raison d'être

CII.

scene from antique music box lid
scene from antique music box lid


Liquid streams of dreams made true,

Dancing ballets on my bed,

Playing symphonies of blue

Upon the themes within my head.

Love

Is all of this - and more.

Love

Is all of this - and you!


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Sunbeams can still seek

Your satin cheek to kiss.

Our laughter can still chase

The darkened gloom

Out empty place

Like this.


A playful breeze

Can still seek

Your silver hair to tease,

My heart can still decree

With you to build our dreams

And fill them ~

Still.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


"Saturday Afternoon" by Edson Campos
"Saturday Afternoon" by Edson Campos


Invitation for me

Plea

For

You,

That I might be an island

On the angry sea

Come true,

Before it thrusts

Your life away

Upon the rugged rocks.


I will accept

Your invitation.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Persian buttercups (rarununculus asiaticus)
Persian buttercups (rarununculus asiaticus) | Source



In my garden

You are buttercups

And roses.


Don't you hear

My melody

Hiding in your heart?


Every time we meet

Musical bonanzas start,

Love's tune and melody composes.

Every line is sweet,

Deepened by the measured rests

Between each stanza In the piece.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Mountain Peak

Once you took my hand

In yours to lead.

Then I took yours.

We walked together.

Either way, the same -

When we are together.

If you aspire to me,

I’ll help you make it

To the top.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

HE


You're my first thought every morning.

Quietly there.

You follow me through my day

And share my every breath.

You're a poignant presence

Giving magic meaning

To my everything,

Making out of sounds and rhymes

A song I silently sing.

You're gooseflesh

And the tarantella

In my mind.

You're eccentric, you're fantastic,

You're poetic, you are kind.

You're wholeness, you're completion,

You're wildly alluring, amorous.

You're my missing half.

You stimulate my mind,

You can make me laugh

Or be glamourous.

Someday you'll know my love for you.

I’ll show my secret self

Where love's own self abides,

With you.

With . . . only you.


_____© Nellieanna H. Hay


I looked

And there you are,

My sun

My moon

My star

Of stars.

And in your face

My destiny;

And in my place,

Eternity.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Two, afraid

Too afraid

To be afraid

To be in love.

To be alive!

Yet reaching forth

Beyond the fear

To fill our love.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Tangle-free,

My feeling

Toward you.

My Knight

My day

My light

My way.

If I ever

Doubted you existed,

I can't recall it now.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

Victorian Lady
Victorian Lady | Source

Graphics created and © by Nellieanna Hay with Adobe Photoshop Elements 9

More by this Author


82 comments

mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

Beautiful photos that go well with the words of your poem.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

Nellieanna...Such beautiful love poetry you've written. Each poem touched my heart, but HE made me cry.

Jaye


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

Love-ly Nellianna...You never cease to astonish me. Thank you again for sharing. Regards, snakeslane


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mljdgulley, thank you! I'm most pleased that you came by and liked my work! I'll enjoy seeing you here again, as well as visiting your site. I notice you express many lovely interests in your hubs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Jaye, Thank you especially with hugs for that. I strongly questioned whether or not to include "HE". You've saved the day, though I don't wish to cause any sad tears!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Snakeslane, dear lady! I smile at the delicate application of "Love-ly" for this particular collection.

I appreciate your tolerating my indulgence, too! I do love doing this.

How are you? I miss you.

Hugs.


Capedium profile image

Capedium 4 years ago from Texas.

You are a genius.. This is more than amazing.. This is perfect..

Am sharing every where.. Twitter.. facebook.. Google adsence.. Hub.. link.. This is what I call poetry


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

You are an artist; a conductor of words; a composer of emotion; a Stratovarius of the hearts devotion.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Beautiful beyond words.

Voted up and away!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

OH MY! Now I'm blushing! Such lavish and lovely praise, Capedium. Thank you. I'm most honored!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Mike - you've written a lovely poem of your own with your words of approval, as well. Thank you, dear friend. I'm most pleasantly overwhelmed!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Sueswan, I'm pleased and touched deeply that you like it and grateful for your votes which sweep me up and away! I like that.! Thank you! On this blustery March day, - the likelihood of being literally caught up and swept up to the sky is not too far-fetched!

I see you're also a music-lover. Hope you heard the music along with the poetry; - surely one of the most beautiful of love songs.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

Beautiful poems. If you set them to music they would make most wonderous songs.

Thanks Nellieanna. You are a Siren, but without the badness.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Nellieanna,

I agree that "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face" is one of the most beautiful love songs. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Your beautiful poetry, Nellieanna, gives 'magic meaning,' to borrow your own lovely words, to everything you write. And the graphics and video are perfect ... like you, m'dear.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Christopher, thank you. I wish I did compose music. Sigh.

I must think about that Siren-without-badness idea. It's a little oxymoronic, isn't it? But maybe it's somehow related to my mother's advice for her daughters as we married: "Every man wants a harem: BE one!" :-) hehe - Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes - Sueswan. And another great one is "As Time Goes By", though in a slightly different - less intimate - way. "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" is much more sensuous.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

DRBJ - I'm so honored. Thank you. In fact, you are a great bolsterer-upper, dear lady, with a heart full of graciousness and good-will; perfectly lovely yourself. 'Takes one to know one', as they say.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 4 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Nellianna, since I know love like this, and live it everyday, I was moved by the words. Sigh! The beautiful images enhances the poetry.

Voted up and beautiful!


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 4 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

A concert of multimedia senses aware and alert experiencing the fabric of life unfolding... To be and to enjoy is a process!


SanneL profile image

SanneL 4 years ago from Sweden

Nellieanna. . .This took my breath away. . . so very beautiful. The poems, the pictures and the music are so lovely - Just like the most delicate Persian buttercup. You're so incredible talented!! Thank you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Oh, Marie - I am so happy for you! I've known such love, too. Thank you, dear. Hugs!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dalllas, A fitting description! Thank you.

Yes. Being and experiencing = process ! Perhaps one and the same process. All our life is being, with variations in what is currently experienced as it's proceeding, what/who is felt as oneself. The awareness of it tells us who we ARE.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

SanneL, - lovely comments! And what else would they be? Thank you for coming to see and sharing your impressions of it! And thank you for such a glorious compliment. I'm honored.

I've had opportunity to refer to the floriography you shared with HP. This morning a friend brought me a beautiful bouquet of yellow irises from his own yard. So I showed him your Hub, which he appreciated.


empire mike profile image

empire mike 4 years ago from empire, colorado

you know it both pleases and at the same time saddens me knowing you have know such love. but nothing has blessed me more than the fruits of that love. without them i never would have known true love.

your art is incomparable.

"my head swells with pride"-big head todd


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Michael - it pleases me that it pleases you. I know that you fully understand what it's all meant. It's a precious treasure. It needn't sadden you; though sometimes its very sweetness can sadden me. One just wishes to be able to keep such things forever - - but then, that would only make them become stagnant, wouldn't it? Much better to allow whatever follows naturally, - for the fruits to ripen and replenish as their potency brings forth. It very much pleases me that it's benefitted you!

I'm continuously learning about something new through you. I've just been looking up all about "Big Head Todd" - and the Monsters - so I know from whom came the quote here. I'd never heard of the band, but I was pleased to see that they favor the mountains of Colorado. They have a pleasant sound too.

Thank you for being you, my dear!

By the way - the yellow irises referred to in my previous comment reply were brought to me from John!


empire mike profile image

empire mike 4 years ago from empire, colorado

that's sweet of john. ijust talked to him a little while ago.

i have a confession: bh todd didn't really say that. i was being mischievous


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah, yes. He'd misplaced your # and asked me for it this morning, so I figured he was going to call you. Nice.

Yes - it was sweet of him to bring me the irises. He's been telling me how well his garden is doing. So I was surprised and delighted when he brought these by for me, in a lovely cube-shaped, lilac-tinted plate glass vase. And just in time so the flowers weren't pounded by the heavy rain and storms we had all yesterday afternoon, last night and most of this morning!

Ok, Mischievous! I wondered a little about the BHTM quotation, but didn't research it. It fit the occasion and the person's name nicely, anyway! giggle.


Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 4 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time.

Yet another great collection of stylish and wonderful glimpses of your playfulness Poet. Excellent work Nellieanna, glad that I noticed it in my feed.. thanks so much for sharing.. you know how I'll mark it :) take care you hear!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Rob, I'm honored by your visit and favorable opinion! Glad you noticed the hub, too! Any way you mark it will be an honor! Hugs. I look forward to reading your latest!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

So beautiful! Awesome. Could relate to all of them. And so discreet...

I realized that I knew men, and still do, who will never know how much I really love(d) them.

Awesome, Nellieanna!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Wow NellieAnna,

You took me on a long journey with your words. Could embrace feellings and reasons to love life. Your soul is so diaphanous and clear for us to see. God bless you my friend..!

LORD


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

My Martie. I realize that to love is the prize, not 'having' or 'winning' -unless or until it happens. If it's mutually shared and known, it unfolds its much deeper dimensions; but it is the actual feeling of love which enriches an individual person and fulfills him or her. Whoever misses the realization of loving OR being loved - can't fully know or enjoy what it is. A pity.

How few people there are walking around who even begin to have or discover their potential to really truly relate and to perceive each other - or even to be genuinely 'one-way'! After all, we feel deeply to the extent of our own capability or willingness. To enjoy feeling attraction and love is a quest, but to actually share that full-faceted oneness-with-separateness which is reciprocal, unconditional love and deeply fulfills and gratifies BOTH souls - is more rare. Sometimes that depth can happen when the individuals are unable to join bodily for various valid reasons and due to real obstacles. That doesn't necessarily diminish the true fulfillment of feeling and sharing the love.

Those for whom one may have felt that satisfying sense of love which on one side which wasn't acknowledged or reciprocated from the other side are nevertheless real winners of the prize of experiencing love and loving. There must be a mutual ability to love - at that time and in those circumstances, if it is to become shared. But even if it's not mutual, it's still a wondrous gift for the one who has it.

Someone once 'splained to me that feelings are the most precious and valuable of anything a person can possess. Even painful feelings. They are proof that one IS and LIVES. Nothing could be emptier than being able to move around but not to feel all one's whole feelings. What one can or chooses to do with them may have considerations, but denying, squelching, burying or ignoring them oneself is to relinquish a most valid and valuable part of BEING oneself. It can't be dependent on others' whims or preferences. But it must encompass all one's own needs and preferences in one's own way. When two souls find it is mutual and real - well - that's nirvana, I suppose.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Lord, your comments are beautiful and gratifying. Thank you, friend.


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 4 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

amen...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah! Dallas . . .


Vincent Moore 4 years ago

You are simply the BEST and from the great West no doubt and a Dallas lass with class. You struck so many melodies here with your LOVE of words. "HE" was amazing as of course were the others, but HE could also be SHE for the two are twins when they finally meet and reside in each others heart and soul as ONE.

I know you experienced that gift finally with George and you were blessed and deserving of such LOVE. I missed the boat on LOVE but felt it briefly at times. Thank you for this wonderfully colorful as always display of magic in your verse. You are truly blessed and gifted by Emily's spirit.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Ken - Thank you for such lofty praise! Yes, "He" applies to either gender as appropriate when the love is deep, warm and real. There are still few days that pass that I don't ponder over the joy and sweetness of the love George and I found together after we'd each experienced the opposite.

I have photos of him around - not formal portraits, but pictures capturing the twinkle in his eye and the humor on his face, his saunter and deep-thought and concentration at times. He was usually finding time to notice little things of interest, as well as magnificent sunsets and beauty which a photographer as he was, seldom misses. He was fun to be with.

I would wish you such LOVE. You have time for it - all the time anyone has - the present- the now. At least if it came calling, you'd have time for it - unless you're like I am and are really quite content to be 'as is'.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

To that raison d'etre

more then love

when love drives

doing as pleases

altering where no alteration is found

but to the choice

the consequences found

in ever course

in every action

that the creating influence of love

be not the only force in time

but one half

as to the other half

is of no moment

is of recognition

your utterances brighten

the lighter side of existence

making it more comely

detracting from the rest

giving us all thereby joy


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

JF - lovely response, full of meaning and poetic pondurables, to which I give much credence. I'm pondering them and I perceive you pondering much things.

I'm honored that you visited. Thank you.

80 years of pondering brings me a flexible perspective, I think, - which isn't mutually exclusive of a realistic one. I couldn't be optimistic without being grounded in the real. Perhaps, probing my utterances, you'll notice that. But in any case, I'm greatly honored that you have read and appreciated my stuff, and that its comeliness provides some joy.

Hugs.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

Tis my nature to not only ponder but to come to conclusions. I am of a nature to move from fixed truth to truth and wouldn't so discourse nor be so bold as to give you pause if I didn't think you could bare it. There is a depth to your contemplations that seemed to give me licence


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

I like the idea of moving "from fixed truth to truth". It speaks of a real quest for truth, perhaps even in the face of what I've termed "sacred fixities".

I see no reason to require license to speak one's mind, though there is wisdom in gauging its reception. With me, you need have no second-thoughts. We've had an interesting history of discourse, which I consider enriching and enlightening. I suspect you'd be surprised at my comtemplatons but I frequently give pause to them and to those I encounter. What I can't bear is not having relevant and pause-giving discourses. So I am glad for yours.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

That is precisely the point. your will is my license. That is how such things are done. If you wished otherwise I would be bound not to tread further for I would find the bounds to do so successfully set at the place where you forbid me come further.

Shall we start with the contemplation of three supreme necessities? Love, the Law, and the Right to decide or agency?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Forbid you to proceed? Do you ever encounter that? Not here.

Perhaps we could contemplate whether those are supreme necessities, as a basic premise?


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

Yeah, it happens from time to time. I have learned to be cautious because of that. No I haven't gotten that feeling yet but I am pretty good at pushing people to the edge of what they can contemplate without committing to some part of the premise.

We can start as considering it a contemplation for now though. Lets take this to a contemplation that the concept of a God is an ultimate embodiment of Agency. The necessities form a need to have one keep them in balance. All energy exists on either a frequency of Law or of Love.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thanks for the clarification. I can see how you'd become rather sensitive to a gathering storm.

I hope I don't disappoint. I'm rather unflappable and am truly interested in what I don't know nor necessarily accept. If I ever have 'enough' - which is rare, let me tell you - I am just gone. Besides, I'm agnostic in a sense. I suppose it could be a kind of slippery ledge in itself.

Would Agency be in the sense of its being an embodiment of a service similar to a go-between between entities, in that case God and Man or between Man and his flawed nature? (There are other possibilities with that definition, but there's another definition:) Is Agency in the sense of an action which is used to achieve a specific result, as in such case, to lead Man to shape up and improve? Or possibly - both? Or does whether it's operating from Law or Love determine which? But who has the wherewithal to keep it in balance, God or man? Or is that the objective - a partnership?

I'm not sure about the premise that all energy relies on either law or love - but I like that possibility and will contemplate it. I won't consult any physicists, however.

I must warn -- I have done almost nothing on the two IRS returns I have to do. So if I'm less responsive for the next couple of days, you'll know why. I've simply been unable to resist the sparkling discussions here but obviously I can't blame my procrastination on that very much. It's a little typical of the way I prioritize, though. People, first. And evaluations change too - as one's years accumulate. :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

There are two different planes of existence involved.

The tangle of choices, morals, right and wrong, love and law are in the realm of spiritual values. Whether or not gods preside can only be supposition. The definition of evil - or good - is arbitrary. Subjectivity overshadows and distorts its every phase.

But Energy is the actual physical building block, and to operate, it uses intelligence and intelligence uses it. Thought is sparked, powered and transmitted by Energy. Substance is composed of energy, in all its forms. Energy is the tangible realm of existence.

My conclusion: There is no problem, - until having a problem is chosen. So - back to the spiritual realm it sends one, and into the fray.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

The only part I differ is where you say good and evil are arbitrary. It is true that the lines aren't really where most people put them. I haven't yet met a truly evil person. Maybe some have but I have not as most people living don't see reality clearly as to try to screw it up on purpose. Most of what is called wrong or evil in the world consists of ignorance and disobedience. Fortunately my way of seeing things doesn't really effect how the world progresses. Each person is held to the standard that they are aware of and have accepted within them as being true. Only they know what standard that is... well them and those on the other side of a color and particle spectrum that they cannot perceive usually. People, in order to protect their agency are usually not faced with the truth for any kind of judgment until the very end of life. Regardless of where you are and what religion you are from, most people are better off then they imagine. They will get exactly what they worked their whole life to get out of their faith minus any truths they shot down knowingly. Believe it or not the most screwed are the people who know and comprehend reality in any shade and decide that they cant stand the responsibility and so turn their back on what they know.

Back to energy,that which some call the law of attraction is a very tangible way of watching the agency of everything nonhuman at work. Before the foundations of this earth, and every earth the God of a realm tells those who choose not to take human form in that cycle that their first duty is to see to the dominant desires of those who have chosen the birthright of becoming like God. They accept this as part of the covenant that makes them part of the physical world that you see around you.

The interesting thing about about that is that people usually can only desire good things for themselves so long as they can realistically feel good about themselves. How they believe reality works literally defines how reality responds to them. The fact that most people live in an illusion or delusion where reality may respond and agree with their strange half-life doesn't effect the truth but underlines it.

The fact of the matter is that God or any who answer to him cannot intervene in a person's private play without the express desire of the individual. This desire must come without any cheviot or proviso. It must be with a full understanding of what all must change in order for Father to have a right to intervene. When people ask where god is, sometimes it is tragic to ask, how close are they to the truth that they know? Do they constantly go to whatever church trips their trigger? Do they study whatever scripture they accept as holy? How do they treat their fellow men? The most heart breaking instances are the cries of innocents who are under the protection or in the power of those who are accountable but are in a state of disobedience or ignorance (willful or otherwise).


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, JF, it was arbitrary of me to assert that, wasn't it? sigh. Let me see what can be salvaged, perhaps.

Thank YOU for several points in favor of good and evil being arbitrary: 1) That the lines aren't where most people put them. uh-huh. BUT THAT THEY ARE THERE IS DUE TO ARBITRARILY BEING PLACED THERE, are they not? What else accounts for it?

2) That you've yet to see a truly evil person. (Same here!) BUT SOME ARE ARTIBITRARILY DESIGNATED AS EVIL AND THEN GENERALLY LABELED AND REGARDED AS SUCH, often in so strong a way as to unjustly punish them or deny them, are they not?

3) The assertion that most of the designations of wrong or evil are actually ignorance and/or disobedience, with which I can agree, though perhaps I'd add a few other contributors, such as self-service by the ones doing the designations, for instance. In any case, whatever is involved, Ignorance & disobedience to WHAT(?) - if not to some arbitrary standard of knowledge or compliance using arbitrary standards or rules set down by arbitrarily appointed standard-bearers, never mind whether the standards are relevant to anything but to their own whims. (It's such a pathetically subjective bunch we humans are! But - if we 'fess up to it and use it wisely, it's one of our greatest strengths!)

I'm cheering your statement that: "Each person is held to the standard that they (though the pronoun is grammatically wrong; - should be singular, such as 'he', to match 'each person' - I know - ho,hum) are (oops, needs singular verb, 'is' as well) aware of and have (requires singular verb 'has' here too) accepted within them (needs the singular pronoun once again) as being true. Only they (duh - another singular 'he' needed. . .) know (needs singular verb 'knows') what standard that is." Point being that the personal standard is arbitrary FOR THAT PERSON. So when is it or not, she asks? I didn't make up the grammar rules and usually don't bring them up, but notice when they're disobeyed.

Problems arises when one thinks to impose or inflict one's personal standards on others, whose own standards may be at discomforting variance, at which point the one doing the arbitrary imposing tends to begin to claim some greater power's approval of them or official demand that they be observed (at some risk, if not) and, eventually - arbitrary compliance to that personal preference which has been claimed as 'The Good' and rejection of anything else, which is claims as 'The Evil' begins to rear its head and shake its extremities. Fact is, such scenarios occur many times a moment all over the world, confusing and polarizing people who otherwise might find better ways to interact. What about that consideration?

I somehow know you'll see humor or however you choose to dismiss it if that's your evaluation; - or perhaps - to accept it, if that's it. I'm invited to express my thoughts and doing so.

I suspect you'd not have selected me for a discourse had you wanted a 'same-old-same-old' one. We're both aware that escape is simple online. I'm still "in", though - and gladly.

As you say, intervention requires complicity, even when it comes to or from a sweet little 4th grade teacher or her aging student! :-)

By the way, I've been reading more of your hubs/poetry and now I may be slightly in love. Well, more in sync, maybe.

Have a great night; and now I AM going back to my serious computer with the tax stuff on it, where I may be spending MY night and the most of my tomorrow!

Hugs, Nellieanna


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Wow a seminar! Beautiful new avatar.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

I've written a long dissertation in reply, but I'm going to give us both a greater thought right now, in the form of a quotation:

"A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

I've been thinking, he said, I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone." ~ Author Unknown


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

That is a Nobel virtue indeed. I await the dissertation that connects.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear JF, Thank you - but. . . What brings you here? Is it. . . lectures? Much words?


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

Love, dignity, honor, a sense of the miraculous, sparring with an adult, turning life inside out and examining it, sharing a thought or two with one capable of chalanging me, dancing in the twilight with another poet... Do I need a reason?


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

It is interesting that you saw that story in that light. You will understand that once one has a premise everything seems to be interpreted in that light. I appreciate your concept of one of the two great human wisdoms. There is nothing wrong with your interpretation. That is the wonderful thing about parables. They are so useful though not specific as to confine either the sharer or the recipient within the parable from the stand point of singular truth. The odd thing is that parables in this respect can give many truths that are equally as valid and still have all of them be the intent of the person expressing the tale.

As to whether I valued it the way you meant it, I confess I saw a religious message in it that had a slightly catholic lilt to it. This doesn't invalidate the story but from my understanding of people and things colored what I thought the author might have been expressing through the story from that stand point. I could have been wrong or right but so I saw it. I like seeing people through their own eyes. I take the things I read and put the words together. I study their context. I am not always spot on but it is a private hobby of mine. Sometimes I read too far into things.

It has been a pleasure conversing with you. A peer and a poet are hard to pass up. So long as my discourse isn't boring you I cant see a real reason to stop this back and forth.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

I need to look for your poem on the pearl. :-)


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

You commented on it.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, but I was not aware of this parable then. It would thinking of it in that light this time. Besides, my memory needs refreshing.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

http://hubpages.com/literature/The-Conundrum-of-th...

I thought I would save you the trouble.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

In Utah, the weather channels so quickly though here that it is hard to say. Some days are warm and clear to be randomly broken up by showers that don't really get into the ground and other days are cold only to broken up by sunshine that doesn't really warm. It is the fault of mountains on all side I fear and the Sun is amazingly bright here. More so then in California where I grew up but I imagine that has a lot to do with being in the high desert.


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Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

That is very romantic of you to say. I am only recently of this area but I love the terrain. Most of my perspective on life came from being smack in the middle of Northern California with all of its good and bad aspects. Being here sometimes feels like being in Venice where you don't dare mention the canals because the locals will say. "So what?"


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Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

What I wouldn't give to hear the inflection behind that. It might actually explain what you might mean by it.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

If it isn't too tiresome would you care to fill in where your inflection cannot?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

http://soundcloud.com/kacey-cluff/audio-recording-...

That did indeed help. One good turn deserves another.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

It is a fun toy. I am afraid though my dear that I fancy my pen to my tongue any day. I can edit my hands and I don't mind the pauses as I consider my next thought. They are painful to my ears however when i hear me considering such. After a writing is over I cannot see where I paused. I can even engage in bad memory and imagine that I didn't pause at all, stammer, or stutter.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

It is a fun toy. I'm perfectly all right with focusing on writing. For one thing, the toy takes more time ad effort to use than justify its value, except in special instances such as hearing voice inflection with is totally missing in the written words.

I freely admit that I'm more at home in writing, for several major reasons, including those you list. I only 'found my voice' in my late 40s.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

How did you find your voice? And how long did you have to work at it.?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

It was an internal realization that I even HAD one first. I didn't even think to work at it! I had so little sense of power, it didn't occur to me. I knew who I was, and was very quietly independent all my life, and having a voice just wasn't 'in the picture', it seemed.

But the physical impetus was becoming a Mary Kay consultant when I was 48 - and then earning Directorship. I was in it for 5 years, a director for 3 of them. Just BEING in it puts one 'on stage' and prompts - or demands - expressing oneself. First, they have you tell your "I STORY" in front of a room full of people at every meeting. Then, in order to actually DO the work, as it was then, before e-sales, one had to become at ease & comfortable with doing 'warm chatter', - meaning striking up conversations with strangers anywhere, in order to make contacts for the cosmetics and 'opportunity'.

It's nothing I'd want to do again or knowing more (for reasons of conscience), but it came to me at a most opportune time, and a a time when it was an experience, even knowing Mary Kay herself.

As a consultant, I was the leader in the introductory 'parties' which I'd set up from warm chatter, in the people's homes for a group of their women friends. Then as a director, I had my own unit of consultants to train, motivate, reward and lead. I also was asked to teach new consultants at the Mary Kay Headquarters building here in Dallas and I frequently organized my own 'shows' there as recruiting attractions. Once I put together a 'one-woman' style show in which I was the technician, the moderator, the fashion coordinator, and the model! One of the National Directors happened by the room, saw it and stole the idea for the next National Convention!

I also spoke on stage at one of those in front of literally thousands of folks from all over the country. So I just lost my fear of speaking. Of course the most important thing was becoming confident in my own being enough to speak to anyone in any situation without self-consciousness and fear. That does not arise from external means, but comes from accepting who one is and being fully willing to be so known. It happened. Not sure exactly how or why. Sometimes it still rather surprises me.

I truly was so timid, and/or squelched by being always among elders growing up;- even at school I was 2 years younger than my peers - and at home was with 5 very articulate grownups. Even when I was in my 50s & 60s, the siblings who were stlll alive still tried to keep me cast as 'the silent baby'. One sister told my husband when we married (I was in my 50s) - "Don't make her an adult!" wow. None of them ever knew me! But they certainly exposed themselves to me!


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

I come from the same back ground but from a different direction. As a child my mind was clouded. I had a firm understanding of right,wrong and what was just but I was generally good natured. As time went on and the injustices of my childhood mounted up I became more and more difficult until I was very much a pitbull by the time I left my father's house. College and my grandparents helped smooth over a lot of the anger or at least kept me from having cause to display it.

The process of being married has given me the opportunity to weed out a lot of those issues as a child but when I was married my parents told my wife that she aught to beware my temper.

I developed my voice or at least the beginnings as a teen but then I put poetry to rest for a long while. When I picked it up it was as though it was simmering in my heart all the while. I found hubpages and I have been writing ever since.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

There is much contained in what you say. Amazing how a person's experience builds the backdrop from which he sees the universe and operates his response to it.

I think there are issues and experiences which impact a boy's perceptions and perspective of it which tend to do so with much more fury than a girl's, and not necessarily to his best interests oveall. I'm thinking of the boys in my immediate world - brother, son, step-sons, possibly even husband and father - as they went through those developmental stages which formed the backdrop from which they emerged as men and viewed 'it all'.

I sense that what you felt as being "good natured" felt less - what? - capable? strong? knowledgeable? It seems to be mentioned in opposition to having "a firm understanding. . ." and more as the characteristic of having a mind being 'clouded'. Perhaps the anger seemed an improvement and a better face to present to the issues which plagued your childhood? Is there still a sense that being easy-going is somehow letting down your guard and exposing yourself - your more easy-going, gentler self?


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

I do hold a differentiation between being laid back out of knowledge and acceptance of the world views that makes this seem sane and those who do it out of a lack of education or care. There is a difference between those who have a reason to be paranoid out of a consciousness of things they had knowledge of and involvement in and those who think that way without proof or cause.

Anger wasn't ever a permanent solution although it did seem to allow me to see a need for certain resolutions that took me away from a need for instant testosterone hits or adrenaline shots. I never did anything productive with either inducement. It cleared my head a little and that was all. In hind site I could even say that the "cleared head" didn't really clear it enough to keep me from stumbling later but it earned me enough street cred to get some breathing room from those who valued their potential of violence over reason.

I have come to ascribe to something that I hope is closer to the middle. I watch patterns and I keep track of the meanings and purposes of each pattern. I watch people who exhibit these patters in all phases of life. I watch relationship patterns and dynamics and societal patters. I use every avenue in my purview to become as aware of which patters effect me and those that are moving in my vicinity. I amuse myself with observing patterns that are happening away from me as well. I pattern my life in ways that most closely resembles the path where I want my particular river to peter out.

My methodology isn't without its short comings. My internal struggles often subterfuge many of my efforts to move on in some useful patterns that may not be in the direction that would suite me but for a moment they seemed ways that were improvements over my present course.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

I understand, I believe.

May I ask - what is your age? Were your parents as highly cerebral as you? Did you take this perspective for granted as you were growing up or did it occur to you on your own?

(Or - is it any of my business? ;-} )


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

I am thirty years. The pursuit of the cerebral is a family hobby but not really achieved as the adults in my family generally all have blind sides that they refuse to consider. The development of my own capacity was my doing. I, more or less, raised myself. It makes it hard from time to time when I am called upon to act in the raising of my own children. My specific perspective and study of systems is one that I alone hold amongst my relatives or friends. I have been obsessed with symbols from almost infancy when I was able to tell various different advertising logos from each other. (or so I was told) as I started studying the dictionary to understand the symbols I was obsessed with, I found that many of the subjects I wished to study worked in systemic circles, or in other geometric shapes. I started there and my study of patterns have grown from there. Any time I found wholes in a pattern I would study the points I did have and their connections then I went looking for the connections that either complemented the existing or mirrored the existing. I found truths there. Sometimes in response to both forms of educated hypothesizing. Every time I found a point that was hiding I would test it and ground it in reality. Once I did that I would study why the connection might have been lost. I could never really prove some of the points I found to people in general but I could give the data that lead me in that direction.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

I'm intrigued with the ways minds work. I have thought it would be worthwhile if mine were dissected and studied - later on, of course! haha

But now I think YOURS should be. You are very adept at describing it, too.

You mentioned 'raising yourself '. I relate to that, but surely in a different way. I had all those would-be 'directors' who never saw or knew me. Looking back, I'm appalled to realize how I just did it on my own. I always wanted to exhaust the known information about whatever I was pursuing (and it was always something) - and then I wanted to do it or apply it 'my way'. Meantime, they were just assuming I was a total 'blank'. It never occurred to me to challenge that. It's odd. I was super-capable but because my public and self images were as someone totally blank - I just did my thing and assumed it was somehow lacking. I was alone a lot so - it fit.

It surprised me to find how good I was at things and how high I scored on tests. Took time to internalize what was already 'in there'.

You mention your own children. I have to try to picture that. You do know, don't you, that - even in the most intelligent circles - no matter what it seems - that "They don't care how much you know till they know how much you care."

You need not "prove" to others what you know yourself. Just use it and let the effects speak for themselves. They will find a way.

By the way - how amazing. I'm about 2.67 times your age. :-) What is really amazing is that we have any common ground! :-)


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

People haven't really changed. The amount of mischief capable was often limited to how far one can travel but people haven't changed. When it comes to the wheel of intelligence It always seems to have the same number of spokes. If one is capable I imagine they have some of those spokes in common. Truth be told, I always thought and still do that I had things to share and teach but that I wasn't understood which kept me from sharing. It has been a life long obsession that now is a habit that seems not to quit without help.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

That's so true. The nature of people has evolved very slowly, if any. And certainly the limitations of travel did make a difference in how visible that nature is, especially contrasted with the rocket speed of the media. However, it seems that the mischief factors seem evermore to outdistance the goodness factors no matter what the means or speed of their dispersal.

Possibly intelligence has remained relatively constant, limited only by opportunity and prior ground-breaking having been done and laid. Cavemen might seem dumber to us, looking back, but given their opportunities and all - pretty bright, maybe.

You surely do have things to share and teach. Unfortunately, it's the same-old-same-old of being able to touch and activate people's receptivity to oneself & one's knowledge. It's not necessarily a matter of being gentle or even likable, but it does require some sort of personal 'in factor' beyond the mere intelligence factor - to get in.

Have you seen the movie "Finding Forrester" (or have I already asked you that? - if so, ignore it). I believe it came out around 2000. Forrester (Sean Connery) is a bit of curmudgeon hermit of a writer who is somehow discovered and ferreted out by a bright underprivileged black lad (Ron Brown) who happens to be a secret prodigy aspiring writer, camouflaged as a rap-reciting basketball player. Their teacher-learner relationship, along with the transformations on each of them in other ways are quite amazing. It might suggest some 'help' with the lifelong obession without actually trying to - if that is a goal.


Darrylmdavis profile image

Darrylmdavis 4 years ago from Brussels, Belgium

Interesting works. In terms of presentation, though, I would have listed them as individual works rather than one poem. As I passed from one section to another, I sometimes found it hard to follow and distracting. Listing them individually would allow the reader to give each one the attention each deserves.

Just a thought. ;-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Darrylmdavis - I wrote a full reply to your very good comments and thought I'd posted it but now I don't see it. Please forgive me. I will try to reconstruct it, but meantime, wanted you to know I had not ignored you!


Darrylmdavis profile image

Darrylmdavis 4 years ago from Brussels, Belgium

Thanks...no worries, though. I'm sure the cyber dog eats everyone's homework now and again. ;-)


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Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

haha - no doubt! In fact I am so used to having him snatch my stuff that I write offline and then paste it online, having the offline copy, 'in case'. But I was so sure I saw my reply to you that I didn't save the offline one. Then proceeded to continue a long-term discussion here with Jagged Frost. Didn't see that my reply to you was missing till I had posted the one to him!

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