Redneck Tale # 12 - The Wacka-Wacka Snake

Larry's Tale of the Wacka-Wacka Snake

Larry Hagerty was my good buddy. About the only thing he did wrong was to tell me so many goofy stories. I don’t know from where he got them, but they really tickled the daylights out of me whenever he repeated them to me.

Here is another of his tales, The Wacka-Wacka Snake. When he told it, it was with the appropriate accents. I can’t do the tale such justice, but it is a good story anyway.

Photo -Mountain Jungle
Photo -Mountain Jungle

World War II in Burma

 

The war in the Burma area was uncomfortable.

There was the enemy, the formidable Japanese military, adept at jungle fighting, ambushing, sniping, and as disciplined and as brave as any soldiers could ever be.

And there was the jungle. Oh my, there was the jungle - and the steep hills to climb.

Photo -An Aussie "Digger" on a Steep Hill
Photo -An Aussie "Digger" on a Steep Hill

The General's Orders

The General assigned to this  hot and contested theater of combat in the Burma/India war zone was provided a large contingent of feisty soldiers from Australia. They were loyal to the empire. They were tough. They were intelligent.

Gathered around one day after they had first arrived in the theater, they were given a lecture by the adjutant.

He told them of the many dangers and obstacles facing them. The first of those concerned the dangers from their enemy, the resourceful Japanese soldiers.

"Look Out for Japanese Snipers"

"Men, you have to keep a sharp eye out for Japanese snipers. They lurk high up in the trees of this dense jungle, clinging to branches far up above. If you do not see them before they see you, they will shoot you and that will be it for you. Do you understand that? The idea is that you must shoot them first. Is that clear?"

"Yessir!," they all shouted.

Photo - Quinine Needed
Photo - Quinine Needed

Malaria

"Further, men, you have to take your quinine medicine every day. The jungle is infested with malaria-carrying mosquitoes. If a mosquito bites you it will mean deadly malaria to you unless you have ingested your day’s worth of quinine. Is that clear?

The Aussies again responded, "YES."

"Now then, men, the jungle itself poses grave problems. It is inhabited by creatures of nature who can do grave harm to you, even kill you dead if you do not take care as you go about your duties in the jungle to rid it of the enemy."

 

Photo - A Small Wacka-Wacka Snake
Photo - A Small Wacka-Wacka Snake

The Wacka-Wacka Snake

"Possibly the worst of these dangers is provided by the fearsome Wacka-Wacka snake. He has a length of approximately 6 feet. His coloration is yellow and black in stripes all along his length. He is the fastest moving snake on this entire earth and his bite is 100% fatal. If he sees you first, there is no escape."

One of the "Diggers" (Australian Soldier) hollered out, "Sir, is there no way that we can defeat this Wacka-Wacka snake and save ourselves from a horrible ending?"

"Yes, son, you can do that if you spot the Wacka-Wacka snake before it spots you. Then you must sneak up to it from the rear, put your thumb and forefinger beside its body, slide them up to right behind its head and then pinch it until it is dead. There is no other way."

Photo - The Wacka-Wacka Tiger
Photo - The Wacka-Wacka Tiger

The "Snake" Won

Several days went by. Here came the Aussie soldier. His clothing was tattered and torn. He was bleeding everywhere. His ears were mostly torn off. He was near death.

The General was called out.

"What happened, my lad? Did the Japanese catch up to you? Was there quite a battle? Tell us what happened."

"Sir, I was reconnoitering through the dense jungle as we were ordered to do, looking all the while up into the trees for enemy snipers. Then, all of a quick, I spotted a Wacka-Wacka snake there on the ground to the far side of a tree, all yellow and black striped. He had not spotted me yet, so I sneaked up behind him and ran my two fingers up alongside of his body toward his head. When I got to the end I pinched like crazy, for I was scared that just a little pinch would not do the job."

"Then, all of a sudden, that bloody Wacka-Wacka snake turned itself into a tiger."

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Comments 8 comments

suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

Heck of a story, Redneck. And what a twist at the end. Good writing.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Hi Suziecat - I am glad you liked the tale. Larry would also be most happy. His own life story is amazing. I will try to put that on later. :-)))


manlypoetryman profile image

manlypoetryman 6 years ago from (Texas !) Boldly Writing Poems Where No Man Has Gone Before...

In all my born days...I never thought someone could actually say that they: "Grabbed a Tiger by the Tail...!" (literally)

Now...that is one heck of a Redneck "Tail"...for sure!


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

MPM - I'd give you a great big thank you here except for the unfortunate fact that I stove my back in such that my fingers are not working properly and "Thank You" is not automatic on this keyboard ! (But you probably will get the idea, anyway.)

;-)))


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

Ha Ha I laughed out loud. Good one.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Tammy - The last time I laughed out loud someone tossed a big rock at me. Gotta watch that stuff !

Gus ;-)))


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

Gus you should see the stares I get...


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA Author

Howdy Tammy - Never sweat it ! The day I was born folks from all around lined up to stare at me. You get used to it after a time.

Gus ;-)))

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