Remember, Remember, the Mists of November

A Question


This is a reply to the question Could you write a poem, a story, a love, a lie, a life all rolled into one... asked by sofs

Inspiration could strike anywhere, anytime and by anyone. And it is particularly pleasurable to rise to a challenge posed by a friend.

Hope the answer is worthy of such a wonderful question...



Remember, Remember...



The night I lost you

I lost me too.

*


The mist rolls down the hill

and caresses the cabin with smoky fingers.

There is a chill in the room, despite the crackling fire.

Sparks fly from pine logs and dance

their way up into the chimney.

The blanket is just big enough for both of us.

When we move, I don’t know whose arm

Or whose leg does.

*


The world inside is ours, ours only.

I feel safe in your warmth, secure in your trust.

Love glues the embrace and I feel your heart beat

in rhythm with mine.


*

Your breath warms my neck. I look down

To see your gossamer eyelids fluttering open.

Those lips part to permit me a smile.

I melt.

*


I run my hand down your back and feel goosebumps.

I kiss your forehead, your eyes, the tip of your nose

Before your lips capture mine.

A twig catches fire and cracks loudly in the fireplace.


*

I bury my nose in your hair and smell shampoo and woodsmoke.

The nook below your ear, tastes good.

You sigh and unfurl.


*


Shadows dance on the ceiling in a sinuous dance

as we tangle, untangle.

Unsaid words hang in the air between our lips

Before running out of the way

*

My eyes are closed but my hands know familiar territory

as do yours.


Butterfly kisses on burning skin.


My eyes drink the molten gold of your glow

I know not where I end and you begin.

I want to stay that way.

*



My phone buzzes on the table beside us.

Your hand escapes the blanket to grab it and you bring the screen

Close.


We can both see the message.

That message.


*

Two hearts, two years.

And two lines is all it takes.

Please, please no.

You ask but you do not listen

You feel but do not think


*


Don’t leave the cabin.

It's dark.

It's misty.

Stay, don’t drive when angry,

I can explain.

It’s not what you think it is.

My hand clasps air as your arm pulls away.

The logfire crackles even more as if incensed.


*


The door slams shut as I run to grab my shirt.

The mist swirls behind your car as you drive off.

Autumn leaves silhouette in the back lights.

I run, barefoot, waving my arms as those red lights disappear in the mist.

My breath comes out in a great whoosh. I lean, hands on my knees, head down.


*

A distant owl hoots a nocturnal warning.

There is hush in the forest as even insects hold their breath.


The firelight from inside the cabin sputters as it starts to die.

Like my hope.


*

The night I lost you

I lost me too.

*


Please vote:

To be Continued?

  • Yes
  • No
See results without voting

© 2012 Mohan Kumar

More by this Author


Comments 48 comments

Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Hello Docmo,

Very deep, romantic, and sadness looms over like a dark cloud. Very creative..I loved it!

Sunnie


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Very romantic, and very sad. Why do people jump to conclusions?


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

Docmo-your poetry is exquisite. Rated up. I love Adele's music-bought myself this CD last Christmas. Thanks for answering Sofs question-enjoyed.


sofs profile image

sofs 4 years ago

Made to order.. doc... beautiful.. could I ask for a better response. I love it... Thank you! Have a lovey day!


Cre8tor profile image

Cre8tor 4 years ago from Ohio

Yes, continue. What was the message? Was it a lie or misunderstanding? Very good poem. The picture is perfectly painted and me being on the edge of my seat is a compliment.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Sunnie, thank you for your comments. I wrote this in ten minutes after reading sofs question and glad you love it!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Becky, life is full of these little misunderstandings and perceived misdemeanors... such is the tortuous path of love! thank you.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Denise, thank you so much for your kind comments. when I finished this piece her song came up in my mind as the perfect accompaniment- I too love her music and how her songs tell stories.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

sofe, how can I thank you for asking such a wonderful question that fired off my imagination in so many directions. This piece is indebted to your question. ( I saw your question as I was going to bed. I wrote it in 10 but it took longer to fashion the hub so much later in bed but worth it!)


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

cre8tor, much appreciate your comments - I love pieces that ask more questions and intrigue the reader. I am glad you found this worthy of your visit. Thanks.


sligobay profile image

sligobay 4 years ago from east of the equator

Wonderful poem and response to sofs' question. Love the Adele video and your choice of images. You are truly an artist.


sofs profile image

sofs 4 years ago

Docmo, I have a request to make of you... could you add an introduction or maybe more lines (whatever pleases you) to raise the word count 500 so that it may become eligible for the contest... I love your poem and would like it to stand a chance... :) Thank you...Have an awesome day!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

sligobay, thank your for your visit and comment.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

sofs, I did want to add more lines and will do now. Thanks for reminding me of the contest rules!!


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

Beautiful poem. It has left me wanting to read more.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

My most talented friend, Hate me, go ahead and hate me.

I voted "No!" to the question "To be continued?"

And my reason?

I think it is perfect.

Another poem? Perhaps, but this so complete within itself.

Ian


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

@Kofeeklatch, thank you, oh thank you - it is my desire to leave you wanting more. To read that is.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

My dear Ian, why would I hate you for telling the truth- I am with you on that one all the way.. The poll at the end is a mere poetic device to test people's reactions rather than a desire to write more of this story. Between you and me, I have no intention to do a sequel. Certain things are better left unsaid and are complete in the emotion described.. Hence the Adele video.Thank you!


ThomasBaker profile image

ThomasBaker 4 years ago from Florida

I agree with Twilight Lawns. It is awesome just the way it is. You are really talented!

Tom


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thanks Tom- much appreciated!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

Docmo you truly are a poet. I was spellbound. I could picture this happening, so beautiful, then so sad..Bravo..


mollymeadows profile image

mollymeadows 4 years ago from The Shire

It's as much a painting as a poem. Lovely!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Many great lines in this softly romantic write--

You sigh and unfurl.--one of my faves!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Perfect in so many ways, Docmo. Perfect answer to the question; perfect poetry, perfect graphics and the perfect song with Adele. Had to vote up, of course.


Vellur profile image

Vellur 4 years ago from Dubai

A beautiful poem looking forward to read more. Keep writing. Voted up. Awesome.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Ruby, thank you very much- I am glad it conveyed the imagery.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

@mollymeadows- appreciate your visit!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

@Audrey- thanks for the comments. that is one my favs too!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

@drbj, wow. As I usually aim for excellence, perfection is an amazing compliment. Thank you so much for your support.


Vincent Moore 4 years ago

I agree with Twilight. No need to continue, you swept us through an array of emotions, I felt the pace, the beat of both your hearts as you drew into each others love and the moment. It's perfect the way it is, you captured us, you mesmerized us with your creativeness and you left me panting and out of breath as I to ran alongside of you trying to catch this nymph of the night. Your passion is brilliant. Well done, voted up and shared.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you Vincent, for your kind comments. I am really pleased with your appreciation of this little visual adventure.


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

This is just too good to not be published! Awesome response to a difficult question! Your way with words challenges your courage to undertake the challenge! votingup!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you Imkarn23, appreciate your comments and the vote up!


radhikasree profile image

radhikasree 4 years ago from Mumbai,India

You've rolled a story, a love, and a lie in this poem as asked by sofs. What a great poet you're!!!!

Just I struggle for words while weaving a poem on a single theme. But here, you've exclusively brought into light all the three themes with eminent imagination. Up, beautiful and awesome.

Sharing with my friends here.


ExoticHippieQueen 4 years ago

Such a beautifully tragic story. You've captured a scene that has actually happened, we can imagine, more than a few times. The mist just fits into the picture of hazy morning nuzzlings and caresses, and tail lights disappearing into it. It was really great!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Oh yes Docmo what wonderful words.

I am hooked and will return very soon to read many more.

Take care and enjoy your dya.

Eddy.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

radhikasree, thank you so much for your kind comments and appreciation!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

ExoticHippieQueen, I am glad you enjoyed my attempt at capturing a scene. All thanks to sofs' brilliant question!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Eddy, thank you so much! I'm glad you're hooked and welcome here anytime.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Wow! would you like Stern Grove


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

By which do you mean the Stern Grove performing arts festival? I'd love to go and perform! Thank you for your visit.


DanaTeresa profile image

DanaTeresa 4 years ago from Ohio

OF course my night wouldn't be complete without reading one of your beautiful works. Thank you for seeing that it was this one.

My heart stopped as I read those first two lines. That alone speaks volumes and comveys emotions beyond description. And then to end with them! In between you have a way with words so that I feel like I am there.

Love that Adele song as well. Nearly brings me to tears every time I hear it. But I listen over and over because it is a beautiful kind of sadness.

Thank you for another wonderful gift of your writing.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you Dana, I am really glad you like this. Much appreciated.


scrittobene profile image

scrittobene 4 years ago from Melbourne Australia

This is utter genius Docmo. I knew I would read your poem to the end once you hooked me in with your elaborate imagery at the start. A real story here planned out well using beautiful poetic language. Great write. Voted up.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Ah that is so kind of you Maria, I am really pleased you like this. Sofs challenge was the right stimulant for my brain cells. thank you very much.


D.Juris Stetser profile image

D.Juris Stetser 4 years ago from South Dakota

I was captured immediately, followed with bated breath to the end, and disappointed that your magic had to stop....wanted to read on and on.... Your words intoxicate, and I, happily drunk from the experience.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Dotti.. your comments always make me want to write more. what more can i ask from a reader. Such a wonderful reader too. hugs.


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 3 years ago from Florida

Another winner for you.

A beautiful beginning but a miserable ending---true to life can be this way too.

Bobbi Purvis

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