Poetry By a Motherless Daughter, Talking to Mom A Poem About Visiting With My Mother on Mother's Day

My Mom with My Sister and I  Family Vacation 1971
My Mom with My Sister and I Family Vacation 1971 | Source

"Hi Mama, How are you?

I know that its been quite awhile,

Since the last time I came to visit"

I say, while trying to smile.

"What's new with me,

Well there are so many things

I don't know where to begin

There's so much that life brings.

Your grandchildren are sure something,

Their childhood is flying by so fast!

Each day they amaze me

More than the last.

Smarter and wiser,

How fast they have grown

I fear the day is coming nearer

When they'll be off on their own.

Your grandson is so tall!

Did you ever think that he would be

So tall that he towers

Nearly a foot above me?

He's such a handsome boy,

He drives those girls crazy.

He is smart as a whip

Though, when it comes to his chores

He's sometimes a bit lazy.

I don't know when it happened,

As a mom, I think you might understand,

He'll be seventeen tomorrow

My baby boy is almost a man.

Then there are your granddaughters

Now fifteen and three,

I guess you could say

They might remind you of me.

But each in their own way

Reminds me of you,

The littlest one has your looks

Your eyes of forget me not blue.

The older, your namesake

Looks more like her dad,

But she's inherited your spirit

Which makes my heart glad.

She's a beautiful girl

Both inside and out,

Ready to take on the world

With no fear or doubt.

Her heart is full of compassion

She's driven to succeed,

Her love of living

Taking her wherever,

Life's road may lead.

The littlest one

With Nana's name and your eyes,

Who came into this world

As such a surprise,

Looks more just like you

With each passing day,

But acts more and more like me

With her rebellious ways.

She is a joy

But she sure keeps me hopping!

If life were a sundae

She'd be my extra topping.

My sister is doing well

Do you know about the baby?

He was born last July

He's such an angel

If he had wings, he would fly!

She and I are doing

The best that we can

To fix things between us

Please try to understand

It isn't that easy

To get past some of the hurts

But Mama, we're trying

For what that is worth.

Daddy is daddy

Though in someways less himself

Sometimes he can't remember things

There have been problems with his health.

I've returned home

Dragging my husband and kids,

Don't worry Mama,

I'll do my best to take care of him

As long as he lives.

I know that he misses you

Maybe even more than I do,

I know by the way his face looks

When he sees pictures of you.

What about me?

Well, there isn't much more to tell

I live the life I've been given

I try to live it well.

I write everyday,

The things I can't say out loud

I try everyday

To make you and Dad proud.

To be the best daughter,

Wife and mother I can be,

No there's really not much

To say about me.."

My fingers graze raised letters

Beloved Wife and Mother

"Yes you were and you are,"

I whisper,

"Beloved like no other.

"Oh my goodness Mama,

Do you know what time it is?

I really need to run,"

I say, as I blow her a kiss.

"I promise I'll try to come

More often than this.

Until then I know you'll be watching over

Each and every one of us,

In this I have faith

In this I trust.

There's one last thing

That I came here to say,

I love you and miss you

Happy Mother's Day. "

Kristen Burns-Darling ©2011 (All Rights Reserved)

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Comments 44 comments

Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

This is so very lovely. I can just see a daughter saying these things and missing her mother. Years ago I wrote a "letter" to my mom. We never stop missing them, do we?


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@Hyphenbird - No, we never do. My mother will have been gone 33 years in October, I am now 4 years older than she ever lived to be. There is so much that she missed, and so much that I missed with her. Thank you for your time in reading this and for your kind words, they are greatly appreciated. :-)


chuckandus6 profile image

chuckandus6 5 years ago from The Country-Side

I agree my Mom will always be in my heart and part of me each day


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 5 years ago from Wales

Hi K.B.Darling,

This is beautiful and so touching. Straight from your heart and that's without a doubt.

Your mother must have a huge smile for her loving daughter.

take care and thanks for sharing this one with us on here.

Take care

Eiddwen.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@chuchandus6 - Yes, that is the thing about mothers, they are a part of us, even if it is from somewhere beyond here. Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read this, it is appreciated!


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@ Eiddwen - Thank you so much for you time spent reading this and for your kind words. Yes, it is straight from the heart, I have been having these converstaions with my mom for many years. Thank you again for your comments and your support.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

What a Beautiful and Lovely Tribute to your Mom, I'm sure she is smiling down and listening and missing what she is missing. I had tears in my eyes as I finished reading your piece. Thanks so much for sharing.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@b.Malin - Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read this piece. I don't know if she misses us, but I know that I miss her everyday. Thanks again for all your support!


fatgrammy profile image

fatgrammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

You would not beleive the feelings this brings out in me. Your Mother is so lucky to have a loving daughter like you. Not everyone does. Beautiful.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

fatgrammy - Thank you for taking the time to read this, My mother was the center of our world, (mine, my sister's, my father's, and my grandparents) She was an only child who desperately wanted to be a mother, and suffered 8 miscarriages, and buried her three older children before I was born. My sister and I had her for only 9 and 11 years respectivley before she was taken by ovarian cancer at the age of 40. I hope with all of my heart that wherever she is, she knows how much she is loved and missed. I am glad that you enjoyed this piece, and am thankful for your kind words and the follow.


susieq42 5 years ago

Thank you for the beautiful poem. I was blessed.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@susieq42 - You are very welcome! Thank you for your time spent reading this piece, it is much appreciated!


cathylynn99 profile image

cathylynn99 5 years ago from northeastern US

your poetry reminds me of my poetry - snippets of life. i haven't put much of it on hubpages because then it would be considered published and out of the running for poetry journals.

my dad died three years ago. i still have talks with him, though they're sort of ambivalent as he was an honest, generous, hard-working guy, but an alcoholic. in fact, that's what killed him. mom misses dad and has memory problems. my unmarried sister lives with mom. i try to do something with mom about once a week. mother's day was nice. i got her a DVD player and took her out for ice cream. she's not quite the same person she used to be, but i feel lucky to still have her. i wasn't lucky enough to have kids, but now i don't have to try to juggle the sandwich issue. there is a national caregivers organization you might want to google. support is a good thing, right? i know my mom sometimes gives my sister a hard time. my sister says she misses mom.

well, enough rambling. you get the picture.

nice meeting you.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

Cathylynn99 - Thank you for visiting my hubs, I am glad that you enjoyed this piece. I think that poetry is my defense mechanisim, I started writing poetry the year my mom got sick, (I was 10) it is where I put things I can't say outloud, can't figure out, or can't cope with. I will get inspired by something outside of these every now and then, but for the most part poetry is something that wells up inside of me and just comes out. My dad was diagnosed in 2007 with Alzheimer's related dementia, and so I came home with my family in tow, and that is where we are now. I know exactly what your sister means when she says that she misses your mom, I miss my dad, it is a very strange feeling to have him be here, but not be the father that I have always known him to be. We lost my mother to ovarain cancer in 1978, she had just turned 40, my sister and I were 9 and 11 respectively, and my dad was just about to turn 44, the same age that I am now. As you can tell, I am known for rambling on and on myself....lol.. Thank you for your time spent reading my ramblings, for your kind words, and for your follow! They are much appreciated!


Raymond Tremain profile image

Raymond Tremain 5 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

I love your poem it sure tells all about the children growing up, well done

God loves all


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@Raymond Tremain - Thank you for your time in reading this hub, for your kind words, and for the follow. they are very appreciated!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

This is so beautiful and I could see myself saying/doing similar things. I miss my Mom so much. It really makes me put things in perspective when I learn of others that lost their Mom so early. My my was 68 and although I think that was way too young, I must remember that I am fortunate. Thank you for this heartwarming piece.

Sharyn


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@Sharyn - I am sorry about your mom....I think to the child, even the adult child, and especially for a daughter, no matter what age we lose our mother, it is just way to soon! Thank you for your time spent reading this, for your support, and for the follow, They are very much appreciated!


TINA V profile image

TINA V 5 years ago

This is a beautiful story about mothers expressed through poetry. It is a lovely tribute to your mom. I surely miss my mom too, and we all really do.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

TINA V - Thank you for your kind words and your time spent reading my work. They are greatly appreciated! Mothers are the universal common denominator, and I think that no matter how long they are gone, or how old we are, we always will miss them. Thanks again!


LadyFae profile image

LadyFae 5 years ago from Under the Stars

So glad I still have my mom. Beautiful piece you have written here.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

I felt how much you miss her the entire way. Thirty three years is a long time, you were just a babe. She must be smiling down on you with such a lovely tribute to her. ps love the photo of you two girls with your mom and also with your dad, please take care


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Beautiful writing inspired by your mother. We only ever get one mother in this life, and the pain of missing her stays eternal. Hugs Kris. xx


Lil' Red 5 years ago

Really enjoyed your poem. Even though I still have my mother this brought out a lot of emotion, since my family is going through some upheaval with my mother father and siblings.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@ LadyFae - Thank you so much for your time spent reading this, and for your kind words...are mother's are an integral part of who and what we are... thanks again!


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

Fossillady - Yes, thrity-three years is a very long time, but the hole left in one's heart never completely closes. Thank you so much for your time spent reading this, your kind words, and for the follow, they are greatly appreciated!


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@thebluestar - Yes it is true, we only get one mother, and now matter how long God gives them to us for, they remain forever integral to our hearts. Thank you so much for your time spent reading this, and as always for your kindness and support, they are much appreciated!


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

Lil' Red - Thank you so much for your kind words and your time spent reading this, they are much appreciated. I am glad that you still have your mother, don't forget to cherish and enjoy her always!


prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 5 years ago from Canada

K Burns, this is so lovely and engaging. I understand how you feel ... I lost my Mom ten years ago, and every thing important that happens is something that she was not there for. She have expressed this in such a lovely, lyrical way, and it sounds like an actual conversation you are having with her. This really touches me. Take care.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@Prairie Princess - Even when they are no longer here with us, I think our mothers live on in our hearts. Thank you so much for your time in reading this and for your very kind words, they are as always greatly appreciated!


jami l. pereira 5 years ago

Thank you for sharing this lovely story in poem , this is very beautiful and touching along with so many other words lovely enough to reflect it . blessings to you and yours :)


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@jami l. pereira - You are so very welcome, and thank you for the generosity of your time and your kindness, they are always both welcome and appreciated!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Beautiful-I voted it awesome and will bookmark this as well. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My mother died on Christmas morning 2003. I miss her more now than ever! Thanks for sharing such talent to express what is in the heart.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

We lost my father in law 17 years ago. Still miss him every day. On Father's Day we go to his grave and put off fireworks! That's the kind of Dad he was.

Thanks for this.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@ Denise Handlon - I apologize for the delay in my response to your comment, my father has been seriously ill, and caring for him as he recovers has kept me from both my computer and hub pages for several weeks now. I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother, as a daughter, I believe that no matter what age it is that we lose our mothers, it affects us in a very profound way that is unique to any other loss....no matter how young or old we are, we never really stop needing them. I am glad that you enjoyed this piece, and thank you for the generosity of your time and comments, they are always both welcomed and appreciated. AS my father's health improves I am looking forward to getting back to hp and catching up with everyone, I am sure that I will have a great many wonderful hubs to read and look forward to reading more by you!

Thank you again,

Kristen


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@ Kathleen Cochran - I apologize for the delay in this response to your comment, my father has been seriously ill, and caring for him during his recovery has kept me from both my computer and hub pages for the last several weeks. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father-in-law, I don't believe in most stereo-types, so I believe that for most it is as hard to lose an in-law as it is to lose a parent, I am glad that you found a joyful way to celebrate his life. This piece came from the place in my heart where I miss my mom the most, the place where the pain of losing her dulls the brightness of all my shinning moments just a bit, it's the place in my heart where all the things we never got to share live, sort of a place of memories that never were....She didn't see me elected to my first student council position,(one week after her death), see me off to prom, see me married, or hold any of her grandchildren, and yet at all these moments, I always imagine her there, imagine that she sees and knows all of these things, and so I continue to talk to her, and to write letters to her in my journals, to seek her advice, or what I think her advice would be...I am glad that you enjoyed this hub, and as always thank you for the generosity of your time and your comments, they are always both welcomed and appreciated. As my dad's health continues to improve, I am looking forward to returning to hp and catching up on all the great hubs I know that I've been missing out on!

Thanks Again,

Kristen


Gypsy48 profile image

Gypsy48 5 years ago

Lovely and touching poem. I lost my mom almost 2 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Moms do so much for us and a times are not given the credit that they are due. Your mom would be very proud of you :)


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 5 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@Gypsy48 - There is a bond between a mother and her child, but I think most especially between a mother and her daughter that defies both death and description, and I know from experience that no matter your age, the loss of ones mother causes a sting and an empty ache that is different from all others, and am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad that you enjoyed this, it really is very much the personification of probably thousands of letters that I have written to her in my journals starting with her death in 1978, when she was only forty and I was eleven. I am glad that you enjoyed this piece, and I thank you for the generosity of your time, and comments, they are both welcomed and very appreciated.

Thanks Again

Kristen


faith_love_hope32 profile image

faith_love_hope32 4 years ago

That was so very beautiful. :)


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 4 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@faith_love_hope32 - Thank you so much for the generosity of your time, and your comments, they are both welcomed and deeply appreciated.

Kristen


documentor 4 years ago

Everyone dies and it's so rare to see someone refer to themselves as a motherless daughter, yet I see this reference often on Hubpages from various (ty Des!) names. I visited my mother often, at her request and she loved on me clean up until she died, yesss!! of cancer. My dad indeed did have dementia, so it's very interesting to see that your family suffered loss in the identical way. They both died loving me completely and absolutely. I do not feel like a 'motherless' daughter at all. How loving of you to remember them both, here. Many times.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 4 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@documentor - Thank you for the generosity of your time, and your comments, both are welcomed and appreciated. Yes, it is true that everyone dies, but I don't think in a world where statistically speaking, roughly three out of every fifty children born will lose at least one parent before they reach that age of fifteen, that it is nearly as uncommon for a daughter who grew up motherless to refer to herself as a "motherless daughter" as you might be inclined to believe. I believe it possible that you may have a misconception, or perhaps you are a bit unclear as to the meaning and/or use of the term "motherless daughter," but with your permission, I will try to clear up any confusion that you might be suffering. I first encountered the term myself, in 1994, in the title of the book "Motherless Daughters the Legacy of Loss" by Hope Edelman. At the time, I myself was a new mother, who was still struggling in many ways to come to terms with the loss of my own mother, who had passed away some sixteen years prior, when she was only forty, and I was only eleven. I know that it may sound cliché or trite, but that book without a doubt, changed my life. For the first time in over a decade and a half, I was not alone in my feelings of bewilderment, alienation, loss of identity, awkwardness, self-doubt, yearning, or out-right loneliness. For the first time since that awful day in October of 1978 had changed and re-defined everything in and about my life, there wasn't someone telling me, "it was a long time ago, you should just move on and get over it," "people die, it is a part of life, you just have to deal with it and go on," or the worst of them all, "My ........(fill in the space with any female relative who is NOT your mother), died last year, I know how you feel." There were others out there, others just like me, who were asking themselves, "How can I be a mother to this child, when I myself grew up without a mother." Others, who like me, hated Mother's Day, because it only accentuated the already glaringly obvious; or who like me, suffered through the loss of their own identity, the loss of their friends and peers, who like themselves, were only children, and didn't know what to say to the girl who just lost her mother; The condescending pats on the head, the pitying looks and whispers of, "that is her, poor thing, her mother d-i-e-d" that were said right in front of you, as losing your mother had somehow also left you blind, deaf, and unable to spell, and which served to not only point a big flashing arrow at the fact that you were "different," but which was also insulting.

You mention in your comment that you, "visited your mother often, at her request, and she loved on me clean up until she died." I may be mistaken, but that comment suggests to me that you were one of the lucky ones, who was blessed with a living mother into adulthood. Not all of us are that lucky.

A daughter's loss of their mother is at any age, a loss that never quite heals. It leaves a hole, in the center of your being that cannot ever be patched. To lose a mother at any age is devastating. To grow-up without a mother presents its own set of life-challenges, consequences, and hurdles in the form of insecurities, anxieties, yearnings, doubts fears, and to work through and overcome.

When I use the term, "motherless daughter," it is in reference to a body of work that I have written over the period of the last thirty-four years which chronicle my journey to make peace, and to come to terms with my loss.

It is not, nor has it ever been, used with the intention of suggesting that I had no mother, or that I was in any way ungrateful for the 11 years, 6 months, and 4 days that I was graced with her presence; but was instead meant to embody and personify my experience with the a fore mentioned struggle to come to terms with my own loss, and its impact upon me, my life, my own children, and my family.

I hope that I have managed to shed some light on this subject for you.

Thanks Again,

Kristen


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 3 years ago from london

great motherly conversation. Heals the spirit.


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 2 years ago from Orange County, California Author

@manatita44 - Yes, believing they can still hear me is sometimes very soothing to my soul. Thank you for the gift of your time and your comments, both are genuinely welcomed and appreciated.

Kristen

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