Repugnant in Realization

Human Form by Francis Bacon of 1949 from New Vision2010  Source: flickr.com
Human Form by Francis Bacon of 1949 from New Vision2010 Source: flickr.com

Repugnant in Realization

By Tony DeLorger © 2013


None too close to my expectations,

falling short of where I should be,

punishing myself for all my foibles,

and living with the failure of so many dreams.


All too close to the reality of faults,

and wishing like hell I could act what I know,

but in the cool cloak of shadows in darkest night,

I admit, I just reap what I sew.


The conundrum exist between action and result,

in subtlety the thinking of outcomes and wants,

often displaced through fear and lack of faith,

and at end there's the stinging of all those mistakes.


The lessons are there in their blessed detail,

for minds to adhere to and render change made,

but often the depth of those intricate words,

are lost to the echoes of a reluctant mind's errs.


Loss has never been my principle concern,

but for all those who depend on my wisdom discerned,

my heart sinks with pain, by chance I let down,

in my ignorance, my inaction and my feet off the ground.


If not for the kindness of some who understand,

my lack of perfection and blood on my hands,

would hollow me out in my quest to be free,

from the incessant expectations and demands of me.



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