His Rest Was Deep...

Vermin scratching the ground,

and there was so much more,

as the odor of decay

came right through the door,

as death filled the sky,

and when they found him that day,

he was weightless and dry,

his rest was deep,

as he died in his sleep.

© 2012 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 58 comments

LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Wow, Frank! Another wonderful and gory poem..... Well painted scene! Incredibly deep sleep..... Voting up and awesome!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Lathing I was just trying to see if I can get a whole story to fit just into a few lines.. thanks for being the first :)


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

And I think you did it!! That little piece is very descriptive, and you can see a story behind it! Great work, Frank!


justateacher profile image

justateacher 4 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

This one reminds me of a neighbor that we found dead in his home - no one had seen him in a few days and no one cared to look for him...such a sad poem!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Lathing and thank you justagreatteacher :)


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

You certainly succeeded in getting a whole story into a few lines. Brief, descriptive and evocative. Really good!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much blossoms bless you


lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Frank, your work is impressive! this is awesome my friend. I thought the icecream article would interest people on that site as opposed to this one. thanks for reading.

"Vermin scratching the ground,

and there was so much more,

as the odor of decay

came right through the door."


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

well thank you Marlene.. yeah I guess you're right :)


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Very Hitchcock. Thank you


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 4 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Nice, Frank. short and sweet. My favorite kind of poetry.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks Mhatter and PDX for stopping by :)


Valleypoet 4 years ago

You have created the scene very vividly, and with very few words, nice work Frank:-))


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks again Valley Poet bless you


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Full of mysterious sadness. Great imagery.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you gypsy rose lee :)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Death must be really easy when it comes in sleep. Interesting word play my friend.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Vin for stopping by :)


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

You have created such imagery in so few words, how do you do it.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas.


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

Dying in sleep, who cares about the rest? Can we ask for anything more other than to not die?


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Rosemay for stopping by.. and Jackie death is certain so why not make it peaceful? LOL thanks for stopping by.. Frank


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 3 years ago

And another Great Gory Poem to be read...Makes me Glad that I'm not Dead! Happy to be hear to read Instead!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

Oh yes you really are so very talented my dear friend. Thank you for this gem and I wish you a wonderful weekend and run up to Christmas. Here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here for a long time to come.

Eddy./


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much B malin and Eddy for dropping by bless you both :)


Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 3 years ago

The line that mentioned his weightlessness made me feel very light for a moment!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you Senoritaa good to see you


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 3 years ago from Lagos

Sir,

Even in these short words, I read more meaning than ever. The imagery is so profound and haunting. Good piece of art.

Thandi


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks so much Uban bless you :)


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Frank, you delivered so much in so few lines, the mark of a truly talented poet.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks tobusiness


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

..well this is the way I want to go Sir Frank - no pain and just into a deep sleep but before I do ...... I just want to say you are one of my favorite writers anytime - anywhere - anyplace - and I am not crazy for saying that - you are a genius of brilliant poetic economy and I sending to you sincere holiday wishes to you and your family and an autographed picture of Jack Webb from his days on Dragnet


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much epi bless you and yours :)


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Good imagery:) voting up awesome!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Marlene :)


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 3 years ago from West Virginia

Up, awesome, and interesting Mr. Frank. Always love your work pal, one of the best on the Hubs. Hope you had a great X-Mas Frank and best wishes for the new year.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Lyrics...:)


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

Dear Dear Frank.. i dont know how I missed this wonderful poem.. it is just like you my dear. wonderful and right to the point, I hope you had a great Christmas and I pray you have a great new year..

many blessings

voted up and sharing

Debbie


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Same to you Our Ms Brooks God bless you :)


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 3 years ago from North Carolina

The way intended by nature to leave on another great journey. Succinct in the inimitable style of Frank Atanacio.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thank you Alastar and excuse me as I bow..:) LOL


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 3 years ago

I Frank, just stopped by to Wish YOU a Very, Happy, Healthy, and a Little Wealth thrown in there too...2013 New Year!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you b malin :)


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

Frank, I have not seen your new hubs. What makes you busy?

I hope you had a fantastic new year celebrations.

I wish you happy,prosperous, and peaceful 2013.

Cheers


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Same to you my friend :)


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

You packed imagery, sadness, and your point, all in a few short words...excellent my friend.

Voted up and awesome....Happy New Year.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you so much Til :)


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 3 years ago from California

Loved this Frank---it has a wonderful calm quality to it


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Audrey :)


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 3 years ago from North Carolina

Frank, you manage to build a complete picture in just a few select words. Very descriptive and very gruesome...which is cool! Rated up/A


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Denise you calling me gruesome? Damn girl...:( LOL just kidding thanks for stopping by


Sueswan 3 years ago

Hi Frank

Short on words but deep in meaning. My kind of poem.

Voted up and awesome

Take care :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

Thanks Sue :)


carolinemd21 profile image

carolinemd21 3 years ago from Close to Heaven

Love reading your words. Very profound and deep.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks Caroline :)


Seeker7 profile image

Seeker7 3 years ago from Fife, Scotland

I think it was Eddie who said 'this is a gem'!! I couldn't agree more! When death comes, it does fill the sky, the air. Being a nurse it also gets into your soul a bit!! Your poem brought this image cleary out into consciousness for everyone to think about. Awesome and as always with your work a dark and sublime beauty!!

Voted up and bookmarked, I want to keep this as a favourite!!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thank you seeker bless you :)


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 3 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Wonderful excerpt ;) good night Frank


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton Author

thanks lady

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