SELECTIVE HEARING...by b. Malin

WHAT?

What's with you Guys once the stars leave your eyes...

Once you've hooked your mate, and closed that gate.

So you think you're all done?

You've got your "Prize"...you can Relax, be Yourself.

The one you "Hid" so well when you were on the hunt.

This guy we've yet to know, but sadly soon will.

This Poem is for you Bud...Learn from it.

How come when you Dated us, you couldn't do enough.

You hung on our Every Word with such INTEREST...

You bought Tickets to our Favorite Singing Group.

So that we wouldn't see the "Other Guy again".

And it worked, and we didn't...

Right Ladies?

We always Listen to you, even when we don't want to.

How we wish the opposite were true.

Right Ladies?

Now, some years later, as a Married Guy...

You have DEVELOPED SELECTIVE HEARING.

Right Ladies? No Explanation Needed here.

It DRIVES US NUTS, MAKES US CRAZY...

We Scream, We Shout..."Are you Listening"?

You say, "I can't hear you when I'm Driving...

When I'm watching TV...or putting something together"...

We say, "It's getting old"...

And you say, "What did you say? I can't hear you".

But let someone whisper, the ball score...

Or some ridiculous Guy Fact...

You HEAR it and can repeat it, VERBATIM!

Please don't bring us Flowers..

That worked the first TWENTY times.

They will not be accepted this time.

It's one too many times not to be heard.

PLEASE Change...

Or all you'll be left with is your... SELECTIVE HEARING,

When we quietly walk out the door.

Do you think that you'll HEAR us then?

Comments 37 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Women love details. Men hate details. It's just the way we're both wired. Men simply cannot listen to your details. A mysterious switch somewhere unhooks our brains from our ears.

When we are courting, we hang on your every word because we are in the 'in love' stage of our relationship. That stage of a relationship never lasts because we still have to function without tripping on our tongues.

Now that you know how to get along with men, allow me to entertain you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

WillStarr, that's why Men are from MARS and Women are from Venus...seriously, we know you love us, but don't ever stop Courting us...Believe me, it pays off!


Fiddleman profile image

Fiddleman 5 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

I have been accused of having this malady. Really I am hard of hearing and if I am focused reading or maybe something has my interest, I tend to blot out everything else. I know how annoying this is to her and would never do it purposely.


Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 5 years ago

Hmmm... , so interesting these relationships. Good poem, a cutie for the books!

Peace in the world, begins in the home. A lot of truth to this one too!

w/ love & peace always,

Mother Lightning

of[thepeacegarden.blogspot.com]


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

Chris is right and so are you B. Malin. Men are from Mars, and they wish they could stay there, however, they are wise enough to know they need us, the ones from Venus.

Finding that balance involves, listening, forgiveness (over and over, on both sides) and humor.

If my man appears to not hear me, I get in his face and calmly ask, "Did you hear what I said?" He has learned after 46 years that if he says yes, I will ask him to repeat it. He says, humbly, "No. I'm sorry, what was it you were saying?" and I repeat.

Sometimes from the expression on his face I must ask "Do you know what I am saying? Do you understand?" ALWAYS with a nice inside voice. I think yelling is a real deal closer, or door closer, as it may be. Often the softer I talk the more he listens. We are way beyond ignoring one another.

Mostly I write anything important down (like the things I want him to get for me while he is out). We laugh a lot.

Often times I will say "are you acting like a little boy again?" and he will admit when he is. We laugh and go on. We have learned that it was well worth the effort to to communicate. It does take effort.

Sometimes it takes saying, "I am so unhappy, I'm entertaining the idea of leaving for good." I promise, you will get his attention with that. Hopefully, his full attention and you can start laying out the things that bother you the most.

Word pictures help a lot. "Ouch! That hurts as much as if you hit me over the head with a brick." Men are good with pictures! (smile)

Read the works of Gary Smalley. He wrote Venus and Mars. He is very good at word pictures and how to get the attention of men and women.

Sometimes the problems come when we fail to hear what they are really saying.

I'll be thinking of you.

Great poem in that you are a good writer.

voted up and awesome.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

I have a remedy for this. Save the talk for the a time when there are no distractions. Cook a fabulous meal, in fact do it together. Open a bottle of wine, put on some great music, light the candles and relax. You will be amazed at how quickly hearing improves. Now here's the important part. Do this every single night and call me in the morning!


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Great poem! I do think women multi-task better . . . so they can do several things at once -- you know, breathe, talk, walk . . . and men can't. Ha!


arb profile image

arb 5 years ago from oregon

Hi B! Guys have this compartment in their brain! It's called the nothing room and we live there a lot! Nothing gets in and nothing gets out. You can bang on the door, but its sound proof. Some women just get another dog, but, its in the breed. Once they catch that darn rabbit and their done chasing their own tail all day, they just crawl into the old dog house and go away. Get yourself a spray type water bottle or a squirt gun. Its a handy, dandy little dog training tool!


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Oh happy day's, I am not the only female to complain about this. My guy is just exactly the same, he never hears me because he talks over the top of me most of the time to say 'can't hear a word you are saying'. But let me ask him what he wants to eat, oh yes he hears that fine. I sometimes think I am the stupid one when he shouts "you never told me that", he is so good at this I really think I am going simple and maybe I didn't talk to him after all lol.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Fiddleman, so is Lover Man...however take a look at WillStarr's Entertainment URL that he left for me to look at, It is very funny...so many excuses, so little hearing...you will laugh! But seriously, you are a sensitive man, I know that.

Thanks for stopping by Mother Lighting, and for leaving your thoughts on the subject.

I was poking fun at our Men Pixionet


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thank you for your wonderful and thoughtful comments Pixionet...Our Men are not perfect, and after 23 years of marriage plus three before, we know each other so well, and are best friends, and we can and do talk for hours, and he loves to walk...However he does have "Selective Hearing"...Alas, Alack...Thanks for enjoying this one!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Great ideas Breakfastpops, but as I told Pixionet, we do talk...But what man doesn't have "Selective Hearing"? I was just having fun at their expense...Really!

Good one Truckstop Sally, YOU get it...Thank you! And thanks for enjoying.

Arb, Now that's a fun idea, with some Good Advise..Look at the URL that WillStarr left.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Bluestar your comments made me Laugh, so true, so true...But we gotta love- em, Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject!


chspublish profile image

chspublish 5 years ago from Ireland

Great poem. You started a good discussion here.

It's the eternal question - how do you get someone to listen, who seems to not want to listen?

When it was my turn to experience all that, I eventually figrued out something important, I think. Listen first if you want to be listened to. Seem people are just not good listeners by default - whether they are women or men.

I found by listening first and building up that mode, the significant other became more consious, automatically, that I needed something too and LISTENED. It was brilliant, except for the times when he was distracted and I made demands on his time and he didn't want to listen.

He also taught me something else important, which was to try and say what I wanted him to hear in about 3 sentences or so. The abbreviated and editied version of what I wanted to say helped him to concentrate. It took me a while to hear that one, but eventually I got the idea and that worked very well too.

Another thing I learnt was to try and understand what did it feel like for him to have to listen to me.

When I figured that one it was amazing what I learnt. He often, it seemed, felt quite overwhelmed by the lsitening, which meant I was saying too much, or he felt imtimdated because I seemed to be too demanding.

That was quite a shock, but I made my adjstments and life went on its merry way.

Now there isn't a happy ending to this story as we parted company some time ago, but we have continued to do the listening when needed and that works very well still.

Is that a help or have I said too much again and I need to edit?

Thanks for the stimulation. I love the puzzle and frustrartion of this dilemma.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Chuspbulish, no you haven't said too much, your points are valid and good, and we can always benefit from someone else's experience. So thank you for your input...and for adding to this discussion...and for enjoying my poem.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

I agree, if men keep on courting us there are great rewards, if you know what I mean!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Oh I do Fossillady, I truly do...I think we both come from the same school of thought!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

.......well the only great rewards (lol lol) I'm looking for is to be able to come over here and be royally entertained and enlightened by your thought provoking and witty writing! Although the supreme Fossillady is right - lol lol - men are programmed to think with two heads !!!!! lol lol lol

I always admire how you can move around and write about different subjects and also change the tempo and the mood of your writing to suit it! Always the trademark, I think, of any great writer!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Well you are the Master of writing about so many different subjects...so thank you Colin, for the compliments.


bellawritter23 profile image

bellawritter23 5 years ago from California

B., You had me going on this one Voted it UP UP UP!! Useful, Funny, Awesome and BEautiful Yes all that and a bag of chips! I experienced this one very well. Oh that darn selective hearing!!

smiles :)

bella


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Hey Thanks Bellawritter, for enjoying and getting a laugh here and there. These men are really something...but you just gotta love em.


daydreamer13 profile image

daydreamer13 5 years ago

Hell yeah! You hit it on the nose and in such a fun witted way that made this one of the best things I've read so far!Brilliant!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Wow, thanks daydreamer...Some of it was personal and some was just having fun...while trying to make a point.


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 5 years ago

Well said. I always say wives shouldn't give their husbands hearing tests. I have asked my husband to repeat what I have said and most times he can't. They translate things in their own head, which lead me years ago to develop my theory about how a man is like a meat grinder. When you put meat through the meat grinder it comes out in a different form. When we say something to a man the same thing happens. How is a man different than an meat grinder? We usually know what form the meat will come out. With a man, it is anybody's guess.

Thanks for writing a great hub.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Thanks Toknowinfo,You are too funny and so wise...loved your comments.


BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 5 years ago from New York

Know why women love the love novels? Those guys are 'perfect' Alpha male types in there. The Real flesh and blood guys seem to disillusion most women due to not being the perfect specimen of a human being. But if my guy is not Prince Charming, I just remember I'm also not Snow White either.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

I LOVE your comments BobbiRant..However, this one is one problem that drives us Women crazy, because it is such a GUY thing!


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland

Hi b. Malin, I really like this. Sounds realistic- like a lot of phrases someone would use about this.

Michael.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

Hey Michael, I'm so glad you liked this one...you're one of the good guys...Did you HEAR what I said...only kidding! Thanks.


Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 5 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

I absolutely definitely love this. And Will hilariously sent me to laughter beyond with his link provided...thanks so much for sharing this,

MM


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

They (Men) are amazing...but you just gotta love them! Thanks for enjoying and your comments.


rembrandz profile image

rembrandz 5 years ago from Dubai Media City

Hey thanks for a lovely Hub! It was funny...yet I realise selective hearing is nothing to be considered laughable to some. But what if it becomes a disease! I have seen this with some couples where the man is creating some serious discomfort to his circle of pals. :o) Sometimes such people do this selective hearing so habitually that they do not realize that they do it to their guests or on an important phone conversation. Yes I have seen this happen and sadly it is actually more of a living hell for the selective hearer than it is for the receiver...because they do get marginalized from useful conversation or be considered having hearing loss. My opinion!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

I liked your Comments and Opinion Rembrandz...and Thank You for enjoying my Hub. I'm going to check you out as well.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south

Awesome and amusing poem. "I hear your words but don't really get your meaning" = (my favorite retort to the nagging missus). Or: "you are the perfect example of the results from the biblical Tower of Babel". Voted up, awesome and funny. dw


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago Author

And Another Man speaks with "Selective Hearing"...So glad you enjoyed and found this Hub Amusing D. Williams...But we woman do stick together on this Subject. Oh, and a big Thank you for your Vote!


GlstngRosePetals profile image

GlstngRosePetals 4 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

Very good poem and I have to agree. My husband definetly has selective hearing especially when he watches TV he doesn't hear a thing I say.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

So glad you Enjoyed and could relate to my Poem G.RosePetals...This is so from our Hearts... to their Heads... and Their Selective Hearing!

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