STICKS 'N STONES

(naffgiftshop.co.uk)
(naffgiftshop.co.uk)

By: Wayne Brown

 

Well, it was bound to happen and I knew that it would.  It was simply a matter of time once the ball got rolling along fast enough in one direction.  Once I started writing regularly and posting my work, I knew that at some point and time that I would achieve a level of widespread popularity which might expose me to a media blitz of claims and accusations such as those you see on the magazine racks in the grocery stores talking about what Brad did to Angelina and why Jennifer Anniston just cannot find a husband.  I knew all that was a possibility but I put it out of my mind and kept on writing anyway.  Then, suddenly it started; there it was in print…the day had finally arrived.

 

Let me digress a moment to say that exposing one’s writing talent does not come with a lot of the benefits of stardom that might be experienced by say an Oscar-winning actress or by a rock band suddenly thrust into performing for audiences which fill large venues.  For the writer, there is no opportunity to trash our hotel rooms holding parties which go on for days and days.  We rarely go anywhere except for the journeys in our minds.  There are no panties tossed up on the stage to us as we read a bit of poetry or a closing paragraph from a sad story.  No silk panties are thrown our way when the reading stops. So, by pursuing the writer’s dream, we give up a lot of things that, well, yes they matter. But that is the way it is in the writing game…no trashed hotel rooms and no silk panties.

 

I said all of that to say that should those things come to the writer in his/her fame, it might be a little easier to swallow when the media begins to find its way to your career.  Then, at the very least I could say, well I’m not proud of that but still women threw panties on the stage at my last performance so things cannot be so terribly bad…not really!

 

Let’s just get to the point here.  One of my many fans, who shall remain nameless as I cannot allow her to be attacked by some mass frenzy looking for retribution once this information is on the street, made the comment that my banter with other fans commenting on my articles was starting to approach the actions of ….well, she said that if I were female that I would be labeled a “brazen hussy”.  Now, don’t that just fold your seat?

 

Honestly, I did not want to be too quick to take that as a compliment and inquire as to whether or not a silk pair of panties might come with it.  I held back on that point until I could find my trusty dictionary and see what it was that I had been called.  I first looked for the word “brazen” and found it to mean:  “made of brass” or “sounding harsh and loud like brass being struck” and “marked by contemptuous boldness”.  That didn’t help much other than I can remember a few times when I was told that I had a set of brass balls or that I had crap for brains…those were the only things that came to mind.  So anyway, I put that word aside and began working on the other hoping that the two definitions in conjunction with each other might give my naïve little brain a kick start.

 

According to Merriam-Webster, a “hussy” is a “lewd woman” or a “saucy, mischievous girl.”  Older definitions describe a “woman who lives on her own without a man” which apparently was frowned upon in days of old and insinuated that the woman was fast and loose even if she was not.  Now, I was starting to get the picture.  If I put the two definitions together, calling me a “brazen hussy” was the equivalent of labeling me as contemptuous, saucy, mischievous, and lewd and possibly even running the gambit to insinuate that I might be both “fast” and “loose”.  I like it! Check this out!

 

Having come to understand this new label that has been assigned to me, many questions are now popping into my head as to what the relative nature of the label might be.  You see, if someone else should assign a new label to me then I would want to have a good picture of whether I was going up and down the scale.  Let me give you an example, given the fact that I have already achieved the status of “brazen hussy,” what am I to conclude if someone else comes along and refers to me as a “slut”…is that up the scale or down?  How about “bitch”…is that up the scale or down?

 

I mean, you see my dilemma, right?   I don’t want to rush forth and go “Oh thank you!” thinking that my position has been raised as this new label is assigned only to later end up with crap on my face when I find that indeed a “slut” is at least four to five clicks down the ladder from a “hussy”, especially a “brazen hussy” like I have been labeled.  This would indeed be an absolute social fox paw should I so stupidly make assumptions without knowing the real truth.

 

Obviously, I will have to consult with some women on this matter to find the true relative nature of these labels.  They have a secret file they keep somewhere that shows the pecking order of all these labels which they use.  Guys don’t have such a list because we just normally call everyone an “A-Hole!” and get done with it.  It saves keeping all those names filed under those various labels.  That way, when you see the guy again, you can accurately say…  “There he goes, that A-Hole!”   I am sure the women will get me straight on this and soon I will have a good knowledge of the relative relationship between these labels.

 

Now, let’s get back to an earlier point of mine.  Since I have been labeled in the media as such, does that mean that women will start throwing panties up on the stage at my appearances?  Well, maybe they would if I made any appearances but since I don’t will that be something that I will be missing and by all rights should be experiencing as I gain fame for my writing skills?  I really need to know because I could be potentially committing another social fox paw by ignoring the fact that I am suppose to be following this logic…and to tell you the truth, it does sound like fun!

 

Oh, I know what you are thinking now! I can see it in your eyes and its written all over your face.  You’re thinking that I am just another “shameless hussy” who is only interested in getting silk panties through the mail…that’s what you’re thinking.  Well, to tell the whole truth the thought had crossed my mind.  After all, I don’t have a hotel room to trash with all my partying friends and no one has scheduled any personal appearances for me to my knowledge.  Honestly, this fame stuff is not really at all what I thought it would be.  It’s kind of ordinary.

 

I just wanted to share this with my readers knowing full well that many of you are aspiring writers as well.  If we must travel this road, I would rather take the lead and find out what must be done.  Then, as I am doing now, I will pass that information on to you so that you do not have to live the hardships that I have seen in my climb to the top.  When you are labeled as a “brazen hussy”, you will know just how to act and what to say afterward.  And, you’ll also know whether to expect silk panties to come in the mail. I promise.

 

© Copyright WBrown2011. All Rights Reserved.

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Comments 47 comments

rkhyclak profile image

rkhyclak 5 years ago from Ohio

I don't know how I feel about being the first comment butttttt here I am anyway. For the record, I don't think bitch carries much clout with it anymore...a lot of women use it as a term of endearment. Weird, I know, but hell, what can you do? I hope you get booked for an appearance and get many pairs of underbritches thrown your way :-p


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@rkhyclak...Well, Bekka, someone had to lead the way and it looks like you picked up the gauntlet. You are probably correct about that 'bitch thing'....it's more of an oral expression as opposed to a written one in terms of effect...it required some inflection to bring it home. Maybe if I had an agent, I would get more personal appearances...I'll have to give that some thought! Thanks much for those good wishes! LOL! WB


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Wow Wayne, "A brazen Hussy"? Okay, i don't get it but maybe I need to think about it a bit more. "handsome thought provocative guy with a blazing talent" does it for me. As for writers having panties or jock straps thrown their way, just remember Ernest Hemingway. He was hardly tame! Voted up and funny.


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Very funny!! Glad you are planning on more than 15 minutes of fame. I do not like either expression, and you would be niether (slut - bottom of the barrel / sex with anyone and everyone; bitch - mean). To me a hussy is old-fashioned . . . and just a bit more daring than a flirt. Hussy knows what to do but doesn't necessarily(not innocent), and a flirt could be innocent. More confused now? Panties, that's another matter!!

The video/song is hilarious!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@breakfastpop...I am going to check with the management and see if I can get you a larger text area to write in so you can keep those good compliments coming in...they salve my hussy-tainted ego greatly! LOL! WB

@Truckstop Sally...Now I'm getting the picture...I am somewhere on the ladder around a "tease". That's good for I feared those words with only four letters were probably lower on the scale. It sounds like a good dart board game! Cledus is fantastic with his parody songs! WB


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

What we learn from this is that a “brazen hussy” has no male analog.


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

OMG what do I say, I have certainly started a hornets nest with this one, mmm me thinks I should have kept my mouth shut, every day we face a challenge you lived up to yours today. Shall I walk with my head in shame, calling such a beautiful, talented, awesome, charismatic, colourful writer a Brazen Hussy? To speak so harshly of such a handsome laid back chap is a disgrace. (Do I still need to grovel)?

Well done my friend for being such a great sport, I am away to apply tape to my lips and fingers lol but not before I vote you up and awesome.

(and your secret is safe with me, shall we say 25% for now) lol


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

Oh, come on Wayne, you live in the south and don't know what a brazen hussy is?

Usually, it means a woman with audacity. If she were a man she'd have balls. Being bold and forthcoming in her statements.

You need to go to a few of the writing conferences I've been to if you think writers don't party. One got so out of hand a woman's husband left her, there was a write up about her in the next newsletter and there was talk of taking away her title on the board but it didn't happen. You could say she was a brazen hussy as well as that "S" word you used.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@nicomp...You are correct. It is a term coined by a woman who had a woman in mind when she said it...I'll never be able to wear that dress! LOL! WB

@thebluestar....Hey, at least you didn't ask me to write a poem about a damn brick. This was much easier! LOL! Lots of fun. BTW...I'll keep checkin' the mailbox! LOL! WB

@Pamela N Red...Well, you know us good ol' southern boys will play dumber than a rock if we can convince the girls to mail those panties to us! LOL! Speaking of that "S" word, you know that some women have now adapted it to use with a male....called "Man - S_ _ _" Women are especially good at coming up with great labels when they focus their mind on a target...very good! Thanks much! WB


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

All we hear, 'i wanna be famous, i wanna be famous', now that your famous??? Next we are going to hear, 'Sure but they weren't red silk panties'.

Interesting hub. And a confession to boot.


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Mae West was a classic 'brazen hussy' in her movies and she was amazing! Sluts are odd creatures. They are slovenly, lazy, and promiscuous and not at all as pulled-together as a hussy. Add some attitude and you know what I mean - brazen hussy? Wear it proudly!

Signed, the bitch (you know... the dog)

p.s. I could hardly read for the tears of laughter. Hilarious hub!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@mckbirdbks...Well, do they come in red? LOL! Fame is already swelling my head and focus my needs! LOL! WB

@SilverGenes...That's the best answer that I have heard yet...I'm liking this "hussy" stuff already! I'll have to start practicing my line, "why don't you come up and see me some times?" I'll have to share this with the mailman tomorrow when I check to see what I got in the mail! LOL! WB


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Well, Mr. Wayne, the image at the top of this hub cracked me up AGAIN and your response just did me in completely! I can see why you are relying on the mail though. It would be hard to cram panties into that donation can!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@SilverGenes...They just tempting me with this stuff. They should know that a guy who writes poems about bricks and kitchen sinks ain't got no problem dealin' with hussys! LOL! WB


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Wayne, I'll confess - I hate the words bitch and slut. Flat out despise them. And, the fact that many women today find either of them endearing is something I find completely shameful. That said, I tend to think a little like Confederate Railroad, and gravitate toward "trashy women," another euphemism for the brazen hussy. A brazen hussy you may be, but you've got a heart of gold. Look at the hell they gave Belle Watling in Gone With the Wind - the most brazen of brazen hussies, but among the most genuinely kind women in Mitchell's Atlanta. Be brassy, buddy, and have some balls - ah, hell, be a hussy. It may not be politically correct, or what society terms "proper" but it sure makes you a helluva lot more colorful and more fun than the average Joe/Jane. This, btw, was great-great-great!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

LOL WB!!!! I just don't know where I would fall on this list - I am sure you have pegged me in there somewhere (not the slut part though:)!


TimBryce 5 years ago

"Brazen Hussy"? Kowabunga!

She is certainly not from Generation X, Y, or Z.


Writer David profile image

Writer David 5 years ago from Mobile, AL

Wayne, Um....not sure I could ever see you as a brazen hussy. That would be probably a bit down on my list. How are you supposed to interact with fans? I thank them for their comments. I give my opinion on their comments, whether I agree or disagree, and thank them for coming by. Hell, I think it's called "being sociable." I am continually amazed at how many people in the world can go through life with zero, nada, niente, blank, no social skills. But, I meet them all the time. Maybe that says something about me, I dunno. But, look on the bright side; at least you have not been called a "fascist pig, a right-wing heartless bastard, a shill for corporations, idiot, moron, imbecile" and an assortment of other names that I can't put on a site rated "G." Consider yourself blessed. ;-)


mslizzee profile image

mslizzee 5 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

Silk panties? yuk.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@Motown2Chitown...I agree and I have considered using that song as a platform for one of my writes. Now that I have been exposed as a "brazen hussy", it may be easier to do! LOL! Thanks much! WB

@RealHousewife...Well, welcome back from springbreak...I see you have a new "springbreak" pic to go with the return! Love your comment...I don't know, but then I do! It is causing me to consider an epililogue to this article in that I am narrowing down just where I am on the curve...I'll explain later! WB

@TimBryce...No kidding! LOL!...Chief Thunderthud was even struck speechless! LOL...thanks Tim. WB

@Writer David...Actually she was just pulling my leg a bit on a dare, David. She didn't think I would write this but let's just say that's its the "brazen hussy" in me that will! LOL! Be proud of those labels my friend, wear them like a badge of courage. If they are calling you names, you are getting to them...they have lost reason and logic...left with only name calling! What a shame! WB

@mslizee...Their like those satin sheets...you'll just slide right out of 'em before you know their gone! LOL! WB


CYBERSUPE profile image

CYBERSUPE 5 years ago from MALVERN, PENNSYLVANIA, U.S.A.

Wayne, you are just to much. Even after shaving your back you still did not get any panties thrown your way. Well I must say for being a sharp shooter you hit the target smake on the bulls eye with this Hub. Congrats for the laugh.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Wayne, you just got me to thinkin...sixteen years ago, I moved to Southern California for a minute. Moved in with a very dear aunt who was a very fundamental, Born Again, Christian. I didn't know her extremely well yet, but I found out quickly that she had the same dry, somewhat sarcastic sense of humor present in all the women of my family. Asking her to put lotion on my back one day as I was on my way to the tanning salon, she commented on my red bra, snapped it, and said, "You hussy!" Not quite sure how to take that, I glanced back at her and her eyes were twinkling. She winked. I couldn't help but laugh - a lot! Hell, then I was a sweet, virginal young thing - but damn those red silk underwear! See the impression they leave?!!? ;)


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

Wayne - Does it get any better than gaining your fame on the pages of The National Inquirer? ROTFLMAO

Make sure you save some of the silk panties for harder times. I know, I know... Does it get any harder than this?

Thumbs up, voted up and in your usual awesome style.

The Frog


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Oh dear Wayne, this started out to be a practical joke and I hoped you would rise to the challenge of it. Which you have in your usual friendly way. But I must add, in my defence, that I never meant the comment to be offensive in any way at all. I guess I have learnt my lesson from reading some of your comments, that being forwardly friendly doesn't pay. To anyone who has taken my comment as offensive I would just like to say that Wayne is a good sport and is actually one of the most inspirational people I have read. I am a great admirer of his humour, poetry blows my mind and his short stories leave a lasting impression. I will continue to follow, vote up and awesome as the man generally is.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Frog, I gotta say - in terms of celebrity, you know you've really MADE it when you hit the Enquirer. In the words of Brad Paisley - "...the more they run my name down, the more my price goes up!" That means, not only have you MADE it, but you're able to truly cash in on it! That's really what Wayne's working on, brazen hussy that he is! :)


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Motown2Chitown if you could of been a fly on the wall the day I gave Wayne his title, you would of clearly seen my eyes twinkle too lol and I am so pleased that Wayne knew I was joking.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Shoot, bluestar, if I didn't know Wayne better, I wouldn't doubt he put you up to it! ;) Personally, I found it hysterical. That the man had not only the brass to ante up to the challenge, but the talent to do it so well only goes to prove that he's a pretty special one!

:)


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

Motown - Dang it woman. I'm still adrift as I haven't hit the front page of any of the rags yet. I must be doing something wrong. Maybe I should write a letter to the Editors.

What a hoot that would be, huh?

The Frog


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 5 years ago from Northern Ireland

Thank you Motown2Chitown, I was really feeling bad and will take your comment as a wee hug!

Frog how can I make you famous, without causing mass hysteria lol


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

thebluestar - just read my articles, comment and leave pearls of wisdom in your path. They get hysterical enough as it is my friend.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

bluestar, I only do great big hugs, so toss out that wee and you've got yourself a deal! :)


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Frog, you could try that, but editor seems to be a fairly loose term in regard to the folks responsible for the Enquirer. If you really want to hit the tabloids, try driving through the front window of their offices. That might get their attention a little more quickly! ;)

**Disclaimer** I am not advocating the perpetration of violence against any Tabloid offices. It was in jest.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

Motown - Hopefully some whack job won't read that and have the feds on your trail. LMBO


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

See what I'm sayin....lol That's why I put that disclaimer down there. Of course, that may make no never mind to the whack job. :) Although, the Feds may have similar feelings to mine about the Enquirer, so who knows, they may let that one slip through the cracks.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

WB - I can't wait to see where you are going with this!! Let's hear more about what is going on in your mind;)!!!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@CYBERSUPE: Well, Thank ya, thank ya very much. When the fans provide the inspiration, I'll try to deliver the goods! LOL! WB

@Motown2Chitown...Well, apparently Auntie was wearing colored drawers herself. I had a mother-in-law like that who would read scripture to you while wearing the finest that Victoria had to offer under her church clothes! LOL! WB

@The Frog Prince...At my level of fame at the present, any publicity is good publicity. If you see my face on the National Inquirer, you'll know the silk panties have arrived in the mail! LOL! WB

@thebluestar...Think about it like this...I'll have to read more over at your place just to pay ya back for the traffic increase...how could I be upset! LOL! WB

@RealHousewife...Okay, you guys get this stuff handled this week because I have got to be in Las Vegas all of next week and probably will not get to answer my mail. I am going out for "Brazen Hussy Convention"! LOL! WB


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Just stopping by for a few minutes from time away from the hub to give support to some of my favorite authors.

Thanks for the laughter and this terrific hub! Up and funny.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@Genna East...I am just a "brazen hussy" for writing it! LOL! Thanks so much, Genna! WB


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

And of course what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas! Ha!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Serious WB? I'm the guest of honor at the Brazen Hussy Convention!! I'll see ya there! Oh wait, I can't miss anymore hub time - take pictures for us;)


sunflowerbucky profile image

sunflowerbucky 5 years ago from Small Town, USA

All I am going to say about any of this is where did you find that picture, because it is frickin hilarious!


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

Silky panties? Did I miss the hubpage announcement on how to get them? As for hussy, just pull up a chair and join the club. Words been out for sometime, I think Lalesu told me first. Thanks again for sharing.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@Truckstop Sally...I am afraid so! I have heard that there will be some "wanton hussys" there as special guest! Can't miss that! WB

@RealHousewife...For sure for sure, Dudes and Dudettes! Gone all week...pass the word around that this hussy won't be commenting much next week but I will be back! WB

@sunflowerbucky...check the credit right under the picture...it is a gift shop in England and you can order your very own can on line! Go for it, Bucky! WB

@A.A.Zavala...You got to read the small print...fame and silk panties go together like peas and carrots, mama says! LOL! WB


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

Good heavens, Wayne...you just know how to get women up in arms~! Brazen hussy to a GUY? What kind of verbiage is this when we are supposed to be writers? Unless of course you had a gender switch that we don't know about yet....perhaps you were planning on announcing that in one of your poems?

Too hilarious and rated up - I will have to send you some of BOB's silk panties~! (the ones of mine stuck to the back of his coat~!)

Hang in there Wayne...being famous is just like that sometimes and people are always saying stuff. You just have to get on your mercury surfboard and ride the waves of fame....like Charlie Sheen!! Obviously you will probably have way better luck!!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@akirchner...No alterations yet! LOL! I would be right proud to sport a set of those panties especially knowing that Bob already wore them in public...that'd be an honor! LOL! Thanks much, Audrey! WB


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

Well well my favorite cowboy with panties, he he he. Hey Wayne I can remember receiving a few pairs in my past life, receiving gifts in my mailbox, they were silky and sweet smelling with the latest dab of perfume.

Gotta love those Brazen Hussies..and the scent of a woman, omg what would we do without em in our dull lives. Great write, I think your up for an Oscar on this one. Toooooooooooofunny. Rated way UP..did Micky's chicken dance without panties all over your buttons.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@saddlerider1...Hey Ken...always good to see you out and about. One of my readers referred to me as a "brazen hussy" and I just could not help myself! LOL! Many have danced on the keys for this one! WB

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