STUPID RANT!

Source

By: Wayne Brown


Most folks know that Albert Einstein was a bit of a genius eventually formulating the theory and the formula of relativity with regard to our universe. One incredible strength which Einstein possessed that goes unnoticed much of the time is his ability to watch people and form conclusions. Einstein once remarked, “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not sure about the former.” Einstein was unique in that he exhibited a high level of intellectual intelligence, far beyond the common man, yet retained the ability to observe mankind in its natural environment and record the stupidity of deviating from the common sense path…a true genius, he was.



Some stupid things that I wonder about all the time are: How does one take two years of driver’s education only to come out mastering the inability to make a properly sequenced and executed left turn? Since when is a proper left turn made using the flat tangent technique employed by Formula One race car drivers? Is it stupid? Most certainly! Well, why is that smart guy? Because your attorney has probably never really read you the legal definition of “negligence” as it pertains to operating an automobile on public roads. Such turns cause the turning driver to temporarily or momentarily occupy the space of the driver at or approaching the intersection. In effect, such a move can cause a head-on collision which leaves you, acting as the person controlling the car through the turn, at risk of being declared negligent in your approach to driving, a factor which causes big liability pay outs to wreck-chasing lawyers and is directly proportional to the level of your future insurance rates…assuming you can get insurance. So rock on racecar driver…you will eventually arrive at the height of stupid…just keep making those left turns.



How is it that we, as human beings, are blessed with the ability to both remember and reason on the basis of that memory yet seemingly ignore the fact. For example, if you went into 7-Eleven yesterday morning and made yourself a large cup of coffee into which you had to empty five containers of creamer and ten small bags of sugar, then why on God’s green earth do you reason that the large cup of coffee you get today will not require the same amount of those same ingredients to acquire the taste level you desire? Do you not remember? Maybe you need to learn to count and write things down! Instead I have stand over in the corner while you empty all that crap in your coffee one container or bag at a time, then stir, then taste, then repeat the cycle until essence is reached. Duh! Look around Jack, it can’t be that hard!



Why is there seldom ever anyone in the meat market at the grocery store to wait on potential customers? I know you must be there for I see all those little shrimp arranged on beds of shaved ice ever so pretty…you are an artist with meat! But, you hide in the back and make me wait! How the hell do you think that meat is getting out of here if people like me don’t buy it? Your goal should be to end the day with empty cases so that you don’t have to put it all away. Then when you do show up to wait on me, you get that attitude that waiting on me is beneath your dignity; like you are on assignment and the time it takes to get me a half-pound of cooked shrimp is infringing on your true genius. Let the fantasy go, Hubert, and get my damn shrimp!



Then I go down to Home Depot or Lowes and walk into the paint department…nobody there either. I catch myself wondering if all the paint shop workers were once butchers down at Kroger…still on assignment, huh? After waiting for the patience to wear paper thin, here he come waltzing his butt from somewhere in the back. He asks me the ultimate stupid question, “How can I help you?” Guess what friend? I want to buy some friggin’ paint! Does that come as a surprise to you? Maybe paint ain’t your thing! So I tell him, “I want to buy some paint” and just when I think I cannot get madder, he replies, “Oh, you gonna paint somethin’?” Why hell yes I am going to paint something! You don’t really think I came down here to get two gallons of “Warm Eggshell White” semi-gloss so that the little wife and I can serve it with the main course at dinner tonight with our friends do you? Then I glance around trying to shed some of the anger this Einstein has brought upon me. Right away I notice that all around the paint shaking machine is years and years of signs of spilled paint on the floor. Look, I know the intellectual side of paint is in the mixing but how big of an idiot do you have to be not to secure the lid back on the can before you shake the living hell out of it! Then, amazingly, the paint has a chance to dry before he can clean it up sufficiently to remove the evidence of the blunder. Why not hang a sign that says, “Caution, We Spill A Hell Of A Lot Paint On the Floor Here”. Have you ever watched paint dry…do you know how long it takes? Are you blind? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder working together would leave less paint on the floor.



This morning I turned on my computer and tuned into AOL as I normally do. There in one of the articles of interest which flashes continuously across the welcome screen is a picture of Princess Kate of England in one of her “skinny-minny” poses with her dark brunette locks coiffed to a tee. The headline of the story read…”It’s not that hard to get Kate’s look!” I’m going…”what?” You see, I ‘m a guy and the only look us guys would be looking for from Kate is a look that upstanding, young, married women should not be handing out in public…you know…the “come on look”. Well, after glancing at the article a bit, I find that it is not about that at all. No, it is about other women making themselves look like Kate. I have not seen anything like this since they wore those rubber disguises on the original Mission Impossible. Before you know it, some guy is saying, “Hey I thought I went home with Princess Kate last night…fooled me. Turned out it was Phyllis Diller wearing makeup. I guess you could say that I got fooled….sure glad it wasn’t a guy…you know what I mean?” Now, I’m startin’ to wonder if my wife is the woman that I married or some woman who got her look. They may be holding the real thing hostage somewhere while they play me like a fool. You can’t be too careful.



I was at the local 7-Eleven yesterday morning on my normal mission to secure a hot cup of Joe to take into the office. By now the clerks recognize me as “that famous writer who lives here in town.” I try not to impair their fantasies with any “aw shucks” routine and just go with it. They don’t mess with me much either because, even though they are young and totally out of touch with wisdom, they do grasp the power of the mighty pen. Anyway, we were making small talk as I brewed up my large coffee and I asked one of them if it was cold back there in that “Chuck Berry” cooler in the back of the store. He looked rather confused as if maybe he was not sure who Chuck Berry was this day and time. He paused then he asked me, “why would you call it a Chuck Berry cooler?” Well, I had to laugh and then I shot him the answer…”because it is filled with T.V. Dinners and Ginger Ale”….you know like that Chuck Berry song says “the coolerater was filled TV dinners and ginger ale”. This set off a round of laughter and placed me even higher on that pedestal of famous writers who are wise beyond their ears. They asked, “did you just make that up”….why hell yes I did! You don’t think I bought it somewhere do you? Pay attention! Simple minds are easily entertained!



Singer/Songwriter, Willie Nelson, sold the song “Night Life” for a whopping $150 back in the 50’s. The song went on to be a major hit and became one of the most recorded songs of all time. Willie never earned another nickel off of it. Now Willie could argue that the song was not a hit at the time thus the money looked real good. He could also point out that he got three times more for it than he did his first song, “Family Bible”. Could this be living proof that a bird in the hand is still worth two in the bush?



Actor, Gary Busey, crashed his Harley and almost killed himself coming away with massive head trauma. Busey was by choice not wearing a helmet. Now the question arises, “was that a stupid thing to do or would the helmet have made a difference in the end?” I guess we would have to run two crash test on ol’ Gary to really know. Sometimes “cool” is not what you think it is…remind yourself of that next time you are sliding down the asphalt watching your Harley tumble along behind you. The real test of crazy is whether you would go out and do it again expecting a different result. Somehow I kind of think that Busey would.



I’ll close this rambling piece with three quotes which I think really sums up where we have come to in the journey so far. The first is one by former President Dwight D. Eisenhower who remarked, “America is more like it is today than at any other time in its history.” I had to think about it a minute, then I decided that I had to agree, in fact, I wondered why he would point out the obvious, then I remembered that although he was a former General in the army, he was really a politician at heart. The Department of Social Services in Greenville SC, sent out a letter to an individual receiving food stamps which read, “Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your status.” It’s good to know that the dead folks are not on welfare. Then the icing on the cake comes via the former Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, who remarked regarding a new electronic heart device, “If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And, the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record. Well, at least we covered the important end of that transaction…we all need good records.



Americans can bask in the warmth of knowing that there is an endless supply of stupidity piling up out there every day…certainly more than enough to go around. I seriously doubt that it will be going away unless the government attempts to regulate it or tax it which is highly likely if anyone up there in Washington discovers that it has any value to the consuming public. But don’t be alarmed, I doubt that Congress has the guts to impose a tax on it because they will be hurt by the tax far more than anyone else in America. You see, it is a known fact that Washington is the world’s largest breeding ground for acts of stupidity. Chew on that a while. WB



©Copyright WBrown2012. All Rights Reserved.


2 August 2012


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Comments 37 comments

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Am I first to respond? Wayne...this is a classic. Love it. You are a very funny man....although I should have known that.

Anyone who can be not just serious (political hubs) but DEAD serious.......and not just Romantic/Expressive (Poetry) but very Passionate.......could not possibly be simply funny......but is hysterically comical.

I LOVE a good rant and I see you do as well. Do you realize it's the most healthy thing we can do..........EVERYDAY???!! Well, I damned sure do, Wayne! Rants are right up there with water and oxygen. LOL.....UP++++ (The clerk in the paint dept must have never seen Bill Engvall's "Here Your Sign," routine!!)


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@fpherj48...Yeah...no genius here, too much material around. You just have to watch for it. Some comedian once said that there was nothing made up that was as funny as the real events in life. I think that has merit. I have always had a wide streak of humor running through me which I think adds balance to my overall common sense. As soon as i finish this comment, based on your superb commentary, I am going right out cape shopping and I also have to get a larger hat size. Thanks so much! Glad you had fun with it! WB


Mr. Happy profile image

Mr. Happy 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Here is a quote from a pretty famous Romanian writer, Ion Creanga (it was sent to me yesterday amongst other quotes - Einstein's quote was in the list too lol) - I have to translate the quote but it basically says: "I know I am stupid. But when I look around, I gain courage." ("Stiu ca sunt prost. Dar cand ma uit in jur, prind curaj")

"Then I go down to Home Depot or Lowes and walk into the paint department…nobody there either." - I'm always like: "Hey, where the slaves at?!" Eventually some guy in an orange jumpsuit shows up (Home Depot) and I have to wonder if he slaves there or just escaped the penitentiary.

I actually have a funny story about the paint section at a Home Depot. About two months ago, I decided to pain the bedroom so, I went to pick some colours. When I brought the strip of paper with the sample colours and showed the guy at the counter which colour I wanted, he said that they "do not carry it". The painter I was with almost lost his wits. We couldn't believe it. What do You mean You don't carry it, when the sample is there?

As my painter friend explained, we could have been told that the store was out of that paint but not that it did not carry it. If it is shown on the display as a sample, how could they not carry it? It made no sense ... we ended-up leaving and went to another store where we found people with common sense.

"you know like that Chuck Berry song says “the coolerater was filled TV dinners and ginger ale" - Haha!! Was it me behind that counter? I have no clue who Chuck Berry is and I am not even sure what a TV dinner is ... Bloody immigrant over here (lol). Yes, it happens when You were not raised in North America and English is a third language .... excuses lol.

Ohh wow, yes I know who Chuck Berry is - now that I am watching the clip You posted. Pulp Fiction is awesome! I watch it at least once a year. Love the dancing! Travolta was phenomenal in that movie ... hats down. I'll remember who Chuck Berry is now.

Thank You for the entertaining read, Mr. Wayne!

Cheers!

P.S. I think we need to work on the educational system ...


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 4 years ago

WB,

I so agree with you. I loved this. I laughed about the meat/fish department. Kroger? Yes, it happens here too. :( And what really is upsetting is you tell the bagger who is taking care of your groceries. You would like *brown paper bages* and they put all your purchases

in the flimsey plastic bags that the handles break while loading the stuff in the car!

So you have to rush back in and grab the bags you wanted and re bag your groceries before you can go home. I also love how people are parked next to the cart bin and they can see it will only take a minute to slide their cart in with the rest of them. No, they would rather block a whole parking space with their cart! :( It is a jungle out there.

Voted this up and shared. :) Keep ranting! I am loving it. :)


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

What a hoot -- loved this one, Wayne. Best/Sis


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Mr. Happy....You are quite welcome, Sir! You offered up some great stuff that follows the stupid line right down the center. I love that quote by the way. I woke up one morning and realized that I had joined the ranks of the senior citizens. I no longer understood young people and their reasoning, if indeed any reasoning is used, and I had to admit that I was out of touch because I never watched one episode of "Jersey Shore" or "Late Night With Conan O'Brien"....never saw the need. A friend of mine once said, "After you turn 60, you become invisible". I am starting to understand his level of intellect no doubt. Thanks for some great commentary and I am sure glad that I could help out with Chuck Berry....you need to Google "TV Dinners"! LOL! WB

@Jo Goldsmith11...Nothing roasts me like turning into a parking place three doors down from the cart bin and finding a Kroger basket parked where my vehicle rightly belongs. How lazy can ya be? The other day, I was in a Tom Thumb Grocery store. A gallon plastic bottle of Arnold Palmer Lemonade Ice Tea caught my eye on the shelf. I stopped to take a closer look and decided to get one. As I reached up to get it, my hand bumped one of the other containers of the tea and the gallon jug went flying off the shelf and fell three shelf levels to the concrete floor. It exploded and you could hear the ruptured plastic bottle giving off that "glugging" sound as it emptied its contents. My first reaction was to try to clean it up but I was overwhelmed and the noise coming from the dying jug gave me a sense of urgency....I took off running down the aisle hoping the cameras had not caught me! To hell with the tea! Thanks much, glad you had fun with it. WB


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Mr. Happy....You are quite welcome, Sir! You offered up some great stuff that follows the stupid line right down the center. I love that quote by the way. I woke up one morning and realized that I had joined the ranks of the senior citizens. I no longer understood young people and their reasoning, if indeed any reasoning is used, and I had to admit that I was out of touch because I never watched one episode of "Jersey Shore" or "Late Night With Conan O'Brien"....never saw the need. A friend of mine once said, "After you turn 60, you become invisible". I am starting to understand his level of intellect no doubt. Thanks for some great commentary and I am sure glad that I could help out with Chuck Berry....you need to Google "TV Dinners"! LOL! WB

@Jo Goldsmith11...Nothing roasts me like turning into a parking place three doors down from the cart bin and finding a Kroger basket parked where my vehicle rightly belongs. How lazy can ya be? The other day, I was in a Tom Thumb Grocery store. A gallon plastic bottle of Arnold Palmer Lemonade Ice Tea caught my eye on the shelf. I stopped to take a closer look and decided to get one. As I reached up to get it, my hand bumped one of the other containers of the tea and the gallon jug went flying off the shelf and fell three shelf levels to the concrete floor. It exploded and you could hear the ruptured plastic bottle giving off that "glugging" sound as it emptied its contents. My first reaction was to try to clean it up but I was overwhelmed and the noise coming from the dying jug gave me a sense of urgency....I took off running down the aisle hoping the cameras had not caught me! To hell with the tea! Thanks much, glad you had fun with it. WB


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Angela Blair...Glad that I could bring some humor into your day, Sis and wash out some of the Obama Effect. Thanks much! WB


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Wayne, I have been chewing on that last fact for quite some time now. Stupid is breeding in this country; I go into a store now and I shudder at the conversation I'm going to have with the clerk...any clerk...because once we move past "how ya doing" all bets are off. "Have a nice day" is the new American motto because it requires no thought.

Loved the hub; there is a whole bunch of truth here that is quite uncomfortable.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@billybuc...I can detect your apprehensions in your commentary. Look on the bright side...if you don't get injured you just might find something to write about! LOL!....Thanks, Bill! WB


rcrumple profile image

rcrumple 4 years ago from Kentucky

One of the most common occurences in reference to stupidity in today's world is the apology/explanation, "Sorry, I dropped my phone." "No s___ Sherlock! I thought you had passed out and met your maker on the asphalt. It either had to be that or you're practicing to be a replacement drummer with Santana...was that Soul Sacrifice I heard! At least you haven't turned into a concrete monster that only speaks in scratches and bangs!"

It's all around us. So sad in dealing with it, yet, so funny to remember! Great Hub!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@rcrumple...Very true and we ironically are using technology to grow and perpetuate it. Kids today communicate by texting and shorthand texting at that substituting symbols and abbreviations for words they never learned to properly spell in the first place. Most of the younger ones of today cannot even use a calculator and do not have any idea whether the formula they just worked gave them the right answer or not. We live in a system of "here's the process; implement the process; accept the result"....there is no requirement to understand the process but moreso to just trust the technology that delivers it. A very dangerous mode which will produce a lot of highly educated idiots to say the least who at some date in the future will have ample opportunity to spill the paint at Home Depot. Thanks much....glad you enjoyed it! WB


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

This was a very funny rant,

Love to top it but I just can't.

I agree Life is sometime's a bitch,

So keep on writing, famous writer,

And you will end up very rich!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@drbj....You hit my funny bone with that little ditty, Doc. Nothing like getting rich at just about the age where your relatives will inherit the proceeds and enjoy the ride...I got hurry! LOL! WB


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

I would say that they need to teach common sense in school, but they would be unable to find a teacher. I have been shaking my head over common sense or lack of for years.

My son walked into the ER with blood draining from a head wound, the nurse asked him what she could do for him. He snarled at her and she got offended.

My other son was lying in bed next to his wife and at 2:00 in the morning was texting someone. He looked to see who and discovered she was texting her boyfriend. Needless to say, they are no longer going to be married. She doesn't understand it either. DUH!!


SilverGenes 4 years ago

Very funny rant, Wayne! I especially like the meat department and share your frustration - maybe we are just supposed to admire the shrimp and move on?


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Becky Katz....Amazing what happened when Bill Clinton uttered those words, "It depends on what the definition of 'is' is." Lots of boyfriends and girlfriends bought into it. Kind of like going to the baitshop and having the owner express surprise that you were there to buy worms! LOL! Thanks much! WB

@SilverGenes...And I have done exactly that many times. I finally found a butcher the other day in the Kroger who thinks I look like some actor on TV...he's always Johnny on the Spot now. LOL! Thanks much, Alexandrae! WB


KathyH profile image

KathyH 4 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

When you talked about serving paint for dinner, I thought you could serve it with that shrimp you waited forever for! HA!! Very funny rant! I have these kinds of thoughts but usually don't put them to paper... now I might have to start doing that! Very funny! :) Thanks for sharing!


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 4 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

Loved your rant so funny , so true!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@KathyH...Humor like stress and tension must be released otherwise it builds up in the body and does damage. You should so write down those thoughts and let the rest of us have a laught or two...Here's to good health! LOL! Thanks much, Kathy! WB

@Gypsy Willow...Thank you, so glad you enjoyed it. WB


annart profile image

annart 4 years ago from SW England

Had a good chuckle, Wayne. Thanks for the smiles. Very funny hub, well written. I had no idea American life could be such a hoot! Voted up and funny.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@annart...Hey, glad you had fun with it and got a laugh. Life here in the states offers some pretty stupid situations overall...just another part of the intrigue! LOL! Thanks much! WB


Genna East profile image

Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

Funny, cathartic, and just the right way to finish my day. I thought I was the only one out here musing about these “huh?” moments. This is a classic! Thank you! :-)


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

LOL Still laughing. Now all day as I go about my chores one of which is to go to talk to the simpletons at our market in order to purchase some groceries and I'll have this piece in my mind and I'll just burst out laughing. At least I'll have a good time. Thanks for making my day.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Genna East...you should start writing about them, Genna...nothing funnier than real life naked and exposed! LOL! Thanks much. WB

@Gypsy Rose Lee...Yes, just be careful not to do something stupid in the process...someone might write about it! Glad I could offer you a laugh! Thanks much. WB


kj force profile image

kj force 4 years ago from Florida

OMG Wayne Brown...that was you standing behind me at the " make your own coffee" at 7-Eleven ? I forgot my Blackberry that day and the receipe was in it....sorry..

Loved the hub..I am still giggling as I write this comment...my kinda humor...people often ask where I get my material for my books...just look around..life hands it to me on a platter....

society = stupid is as stupid does...love those duh-huh ? moments....


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@kj force....Ha!Ha! Hit a bone with this one, huh? Those damn recipes are hard to to recall sometimes. Life offers some great humor if we just observe. This was a fun piece to write. Thanks much for the good comment! WB


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

Phew wowzer that was some good ranting :D


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@QudsiaP1....Thank you...I felt much better after unloading some of that! LOL! WB


50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 4 years ago from Arizona

Wayne, a few days back somebody mentioned "that famous writer guy, from Tejus, awe shucks you know the guy, he's an ass hole in the coffee line" I asked, "you sure, I know him?, 'cuz I think I hold the pole position on that race" he looked puzzled as he ripped open a single pack of sugar and tasted his coffee for the 23rd time, and I bumped his elbow said ,"oops, excuse me" as he stood there with coffee coming out his nose coughing with a wave mark of creamer just below his eye balls and I ask, "you done yet?"

Whats worse than reference to a song and no link to youtube

Here's Ray Price totally screwing the song up:

Ray Price, 1963

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHCdK3IRUPQ

Here's Willy 33 years later with his hat I call the "Texas Butt Crack Crease" I'm not knocking it 'cuz I have one, channels the water while riding in the rain right down into your coffee cup. Willy may have sold it but when it comes to singing it he still owns it, I think don't you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDc-9yRc5Jg&feature...

I reckon the Gooks in California on a 6 lane street plus a left turn lane beats all I ever saw in the right lane right turn signal, cuts across all the other lanes making a clean left turn, I don't get it I have a hard time getting it done with a green turn arrow out there, you've added the frosting to some major reasons I'm the old fool on the hill and happy to be here, If I drive up the wash and cut across the crest I can take my big telescope and look down at traffic on Rural rd, hitting I think McDowell rd. It takes just a few minuted to get entertained at what ever the two streets are.

I want the video adapter and camera to do long range crash recording, I think it will be a youtube hit! Most watch the circle track to see crashes and don't care about the rest. I often wonder if they use what they see as drivers education, thinking all the traffic is going the same direction?????

Gary Busey, was the poster child for getting the law, that had not been in California except for under age riders, ever passed in January 1 1991, followed by the assault weapons ban, I moved to here right short and No helmets or weapons bans.

The death rate for shootings and motorcycle crashes have not decreased in California, Imagine that? It's like the Australian guy, "crykies Mate he's a mean one eh? that was close", then the head lines the world was stunned by what ever his name was getting killed while out pissing things off that have a tendency of killing people who aren't trying to piss them off for the camera, I wasn't stunned when I heard it on the radio, I fail to fathom any one who was.

You nailed it Wayne, and a bit of funny with it! Oh got to ask wasn't Chuck Berry the guy who sang the song "when you wear old dresses the sun comes shining through, can't believe my eyes all that mess belongs to you" I can't remember the name of the song but I remember hearing it and busting up over it, 'cuz I had seen some scary stuff through old dresses.

Voted up!

Peace,

dust


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@50 Caliber....Yeah, Dusty I was so busy searching for that Chuck Berry song that I completely left Willie's off the list...thanks for clearing that up. I really would love to hear that Berry song you quoted from...sounds like it would have his kind of beat considering he also sang, "My Dingaling". My old mother-in-law had some of those dresses...so thin Christmas was showin'! LOL! Thanks for the good words Dusty. WB


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

I hear you, Wayne. There have been a few times when I wondered if anyone was working at all in the store. Then there's the times when just know the security guard is watching you while you shop! Good rant for the day.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@teaches12345...Ha, Ha! Yeah just assume that and take something and see how many folks are working. They don't have time to help but they certainly are willing to help with the capture! LOL! Thanks so much! WB


Whidbeywriter profile image

Whidbeywriter 4 years ago from Oak Harbor on Whidbey Island, Washington

Great hub, I can certainly relate with what you are saying!! We all need a day to rant.....I'll be ranting right up until Nov. 6th....:) Blessings to you!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@Whidbeywriter....You are so right...blowing off steam keeps us from doing worse things! LOL ! Thanks much! WB


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

WB , this is brilliant ! I would say , you need to run for president yet as a good man , I know that would offfend you !LOL....Ed


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 4 years ago from Texas Author

@ahorseback....Thanks much, Ed. I had fun with it. Ever som often my head kind of fills up with wonderment and I have to release it into th open air...kind of Karma thing! ~WB

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