Secret Rendezvous

The roller coaster of love is one I love and hate to be on.


Why is it so wrong,

But feels so right?

Why is it you

I think of at night?

I can't have you,

So why even fight?

Your love is taken

Yet you continue to invite.


Like a fool I'm hooked!

I need you so!

You're everything I want,

But I feel so alone.

I don't know how you feel,

But I feel it so strong!

I throw myself headfirst

Though I know it's so wrong.


Do I love you or need you?

I don't even know.

Can I sit back and watch

since I can't call you my own?

Can I just let you walk out?

And let this go on?

Of course I will, love,

I will be your pawn.


Why do I want you?

Is it to fill a void?

To fulfill a fantasy

Of a girl and a boy?

Is there a great place

Where all this is going?

Can I continue?

To live with not knowing?


As these thought are swirling

Throughout my brain.

I have no answers

I'm going insane.

You want to see me,

My caution is in vain.

Because I will see you,

Maybe work through the pain.


As soon as I see you

My heart is aflutter.

My senses are numb,

I can only stutter.

I know now more than ever

There will never be another!

This is no mistake!

We were meant to be lovers!


I look into your eyes,

Become lost in your stare.

You guide your hands

To run through my hair.

You bend down to kiss me,

But your heart isn't there.

I can feel myself breaking,

This just isn't fair.


Like a fool I continue

To keep up the brave face.

These feelings are real,

So why do I feel disgraced?

Should I feel so low?

So out of place?

Now I know you felt nothing

Only wanted a taste.


Like a fool I allow you

To take me away.

The way you touched me

Made me want you to stay.

I felt like you also

Felt so afraid.

The moments of Heaven

Felt like Hell the same way.


I knew you would leave me

Since you got your fill.

It would leave my head spinning,

Like eating a pill.

Was it worth the time?

The heartache, the thrill?

How can you feel love?

If you know it's not real?


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Comments 11 comments

Mike Lickteig profile image

Mike Lickteig 6 years ago from Lawrence KS USA

This poem is so well-written, Becca. It includes us on an emotional roller coaster of love and pain and sorrow. It probably falls into the "too much information" category, but I have adored women who did not love me in return, who kept me nearby anyway for--well, who knows why they kept me around if they didn't love me?

Your poem brings all kinds of emotions to the surface. Your writing never fails to impress.

Thanks for sharing this.

Mike


BeccaHubbardWoods profile image

BeccaHubbardWoods 6 years ago from Outside your window... Author

Emotional roller coaster is exactly what it is. The double edged sword, that is both beautiful and deadly. Thank you so much as always, Mike, for reading and continuing to support me. It is very much appreciated. : )


tantrum profile image

tantrum 6 years ago from Tropic of Capricorn

I loved this poem !!! Really !!! I think it's wonderful. I enjoyed reading it. A lot !!!! :)


BeccaHubbardWoods profile image

BeccaHubbardWoods 6 years ago from Outside your window... Author

Thank you tantrum! I'm really glad you enjoyed it! That means a lot to me. : )


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Another great poem Becca. Proud to be a follower of your writing. I'm honored to know you and touched by your expression. Thank you. :)


BeccaHubbardWoods profile image

BeccaHubbardWoods 6 years ago from Outside your window... Author

Thank you so much for your words. You are one of the most supportive writers on here, and I'm honored to call you a friend. : )


myownworld profile image

myownworld 6 years ago from uk

Beautifully expressed...captures well the essence of love, with it's high and lows, swinging between desire and need and pain and disillusionment. Really enjoyed this too....:)


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago

I'm speechless! This poem takes ones feelings beyond words. Written from the heart that captures the emotional turmoils of how painful and glorious love can be at the same time. From one end of the spectrum to the other.

You reach deep into your soul and you know what you feel. Your awareness of your feelings are raw and poignant.

So much pain and yet you were able to find your way through.......

Great Job!

Sage


BeccaHubbardWoods profile image

BeccaHubbardWoods 6 years ago from Outside your window... Author

Thank you MOW, you are too sweet. Love is a blessing and a curse, indeed. : )

Sage, thank you so much for your kind words! And thank you for stopping in. : )


seraphim11 6 years ago

Another beauty of words! I love your emotion in the writings!


BeccaHubbardWoods profile image

BeccaHubbardWoods 6 years ago from Outside your window... Author

Thank you, seraphim! Emotion has always been my muse. Sadly, it's usually a dark emotion (sadness, anger, frustration, depression, etc...) but that's just me. : )

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    BeccaHubbardWoods profile image

    Mizzery Chick (BeccaHubbardWoods)307 Followers
    56 Articles

    I am a mother, a metal head, a goth girl, and lover of all darkness. I'm also a writer, a cake decorator, and a general weirdo. FUN!


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