Sepia: Part I

Now that it’s all over, David asked me to write it all down. I’ve never written anything like this, just years of assignments for medical school and a PhD thesis, all in dry prose, religiously referenced and formatted. I’ve never even attempted a diary as it always seemed like a childish activity other girls indulged in.

I was never one for cute cuddly toys or diary pages filled with doodles of hearts pierced with arrows. My mum always tried to dress me up encourage girlie play and was disappointed when I’d rather bury my head in a book. I was always the one girl clutching a paperback when I got taken to birthday parties while all others were playing in a cloud of pink and glitter. I hate glitter.

As I type this on this Sunday morning, the rain that was just a drizzle arrives in full force.

I lean back on the chair and stare at the window as little rivulets run down the glass, distorting the trees and the sky outside.

Rain on a window always makes me sad. Not your everyday, run of the mill melancholy but an iron fist that squeezes my gut and twists it in a deep pain. It’s no good that I live in London, I should move to the Sahara.

I am still in my tracksuit from the run. I should get up and have a shower but something about the rain makes me stay, pain or otherwise. I pick my mug of morning coffee and the aroma hits me and somewhat take the pain away.

I walk up to the window, press my face against the pane (I could almost hear my mum’s voice shouting ‘Don’t keep doing that Susie, you’ll leave noseprints on the glass’ ) and watch the leaves bow under the water droplets and little streams that eddy around the patio.

The sky is slate gray like someone had left the television on after all the programmes have finished. I look out into the yard as the water on the glass plays tricks with my mind and my memory. I could see my Dad standing out there, waving.

It all started on a rainy day like this one. Or should I say ended? Sometimes I get my beginnings and endings confused. May be all endings are beginnings anyway.

When I was eight, my father left us never to come back. He just grabbed his coat and the metal case of photo equipment, kissed my mother’s flour stained chin, nuzzled my forehead till his moustache tickled me and left on what was supposed to be one of his work trips. That was the last we saw of him.

I pressed my face against the window and watched him walk down the rain-soaked street sidestepping a puddle. Rivulets of rain ran down the window and glistened like molten silver. I will always remember the way he walked. Leaning slightly to one side to balance the weight of the case but still seemingly erect and swaggering, like a man who knew what he was doing and where he was going. As he rounded the corner he turned and hesitated as if he had forgotten something. He then did something he does not usually do. He waved to me and blew me a kiss. Then he was gone leaving an empty street with raindrops dancing a parade on the puddles.

He was a photographer for the local newspaper and often had to go away for many days. But he always returned tired and rumpled, smelling of diesel fumes and motorway food. Only this time he didn’t. There were few days of agonising, then the police enquiry, then the eventual realisation that he was truly gone. We never knew what happened.

My mum never recovered from my father’s disappearance. She became fretful and depressed. She never found another man but found solace in her various illnesses. Some imaginary, some real. Some that became real when she imagined them long enough. But all equally important to her sorrow soaked mind. The Doctor became her best friend, the clinic her social club. She always took me with her. I used to cringe as my mum reeled off her latest list of ailments. The Doctor, bless him, was a patient man. He always listened. Head tilted to one side, tap tapping his pen on the table, occasionally looking at me and giving me a half smile before he returned to nodding like a metronome. “You have a pretty little girl, Mrs Miller. And very quiet too. Now about that backache…”

Maybe spending all that time with my mother in the clinic did inspire me after all. When I did medicine so much of it seemed so familiar as my mother had at one time or another thought she had had that ailment. Maybe she hoped atleast her daughter would be the one who solves the eternal enigma of her multiple symptoms as no other Doctor seemed to kind its root cause. I didn’t have a heart to tell her that all her ailments started on the day she realised my Dad was not coming back and slowly but surely took over her life.

I forced myself not to think about my Dad. David says therapists will have a field day with my denial and its repercussions. That’s why I never went to see one.

I should have, because it would’ve stopped me from spending long sleepless nights imagining what could've happened to my father; because it would've stopped me from becoming deeply mistrusting of any man as I view them as someone who'll let you down; because it would've helped me not to get hurt just looking at rain.


And because it would've prepared me for the day my father walked back into my life thirty years later.

The day this story should really start, according to David.



To be continued ....

© 2012 Mohan Kumar

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Comments 69 comments

teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

Yes, would love to hear more of this story, Doc! I am already pulled in by your hub here. I am sorry for the trials you experienced, but as you said, it made you what you are today.


Vellur profile image

Vellur 4 years ago from Dubai

Waiting eagerly to read more, so write away.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Dianna.. thanks for the visit. this is not my story by the way but just 'a' story .. the narrator is called Susan ...glad you like this.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and interesting. I love stories about people's recollections like these. Great job. Fascinating read. Was sitting right there at that rain splattered window looking out. Passing this on.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Nithya.. much appreciated. Will post the next part soon its already written!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you Gypsy Rose.. really glad you liked this .. it has bee in my head for a while and it was good to put it down.


Daisy Mariposa profile image

Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

Mohan (Docmo),

Wow! What a gripping beginning to a serial short story!

I was literally on the edge of my seat as I was reading, wondering what was going to happen next.

You're a gifted poet. I enjoy reading your poems. You're a gifted photographer and artist. The images you include in your Hubs are extremely well done.

What I especially enjoy reading are your short stories. Your delivery of your stories holds my attention from the first word to the last. Your illustrations are exceptional.


josh3418 profile image

josh3418 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

Docmo,

Brilliant story here Docmo! I thoroughly enjoyed it, and you already have me captivated and ready to continue! Thanks for sharing, awesome job!


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Mohan, interesting story and now I need to find out more about Susan and her dad. Your descriptions of the rain were wonderful, I really felt like I was there looking out at it pouring down.


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

What a way to hook 'em and land 'em, Doc, and like a great tease, leave 'em hanging and wanting more. :)


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 4 years ago from Philippines

It would be interesting to see how the story deal with the thirty years of separation. I surmise that she is a bit tomboyish and a daddy's girl. Will she welcome her father with open arms or will she be resentful and hate him for abandoning her. Their interaction should prove intriguing in the next installment. Looking forward to it.


tobusiness profile image

tobusiness 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

Docmo, you should have been a fisherman, you certainly Know how to bait, hook and hopefully reel us in. A very enjoyable read, can't wait to find out where Sepia's dad had been for such a long time.

I guess he could have lost his memory and.... no, I'll just have to wait.


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Docmo, I so want to hear more of this story, but then again most what I have read from you so including your Pooh Bear Series has left yearing for me. Very interesting stroy and left me on the edge of me seat. Have voted and shared too!!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Powerful work Doc! Bring it on; I'm hooked now and all I can hope for is catch and release! Wonderful story, great look into the author....more, please....like a little waif on the curb with hand out....more please!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Very interesting and I will be here to read more when you put it out.


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

I went back and studied the opening painting several times, Docmo, and will again. I see your name on it. I couldn't help but notice the girl looks like Brooke Shields! It captures the "sepia" mood of your story. While I was reading, I was struck by wondering "who is David?" I think the answer is important and I'm sure will be revealed. Since the lead character doesn't have a man in her life, I wonder... Also, the details of the scene elliciting the dad's final goodbye left me feeling it was different this time. He knew.

As always, your stories are the best I read. One, in particular, is my favorite of all time. I will never forget it.

I will wait with bated breath, Docmo, for to be continued....


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

I read non-stop...as in devouring the printed page. This short story has begun more gripping and fascinating than most of what I've read for years and years....I am impatient for the next and the next.

You are an incredibly gifted man, Docmo, and I say this sincerely.....You amaze us....all of us.

What is more impressive to me...is that you are a humble man and take little for granted. Your family and friends are so blessed to have you in their lives. Your children must be brilliant and your wife so very proud.

Thank you for using your gifts as stunningly as you do......to think that others ignore or waste these gifts is a tragedy. UP+++


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 4 years ago from Central Florida

Doc, this story is amazing! It reads as if written by the one whose story is being told, yet you are a man. I do feel you are telling the story 1st person, just giving it a different persona.

I want to read more!


Kaili Bisson profile image

Kaili Bisson 4 years ago from Canada

Docmo, I have been absent, busy and distracted and have missed your writing. This is so beautiful and so touching...I can't wait to read more.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

I love this story. I also love the video, Celine Dion is a favorite of mine. You so brilliantly started the story about Susie as a child who misses her father, then into adult life and ending with the prospect of her father returning. Who wouldn't want more? ME..Cheers


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Daisy, you are too kind. I write them as they arrive, and I realise the words may need editing and reediting, but I am impatient to test the reader reaction. Judging by yours I am glad I wrote this down. thank you!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Josh, thank you my friend. Much appreciated.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Julie, thank you. There's something about the rain that always fascinates me. As you know, there is a lot of rain is the UK and people always complain when I am the one who can't wait to either go ad get rained on or watch it come down from behind the window.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Terrye, I know I am tease. I try to hook the reader like those good writers do and I am glad it works...


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Well spotted silentreed, She is a bit tomboyish but more so in the academic way. She is determined to prove herself in the man's world.. she is a neurosurgeon. Thanks for your visit and comments.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Jo.. good guess. you'll have to see what happens. I suppose I could just write a first chapter like this and take the story on a direction from all these insightful comments! thank you very much.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Janine- you are very kind. Much appreciated. I'm really pleased you like this story.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you Sir Bill, coming from such a wonderfully emotive scribe like you it's much appreciated.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Becky, always grateful for your support.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Amy, as always it's wonderful to have you read my work. You are astute in your observations... he knew, you say. May be he did ;-) your keen 'mind's' eye misses nothing does it? thank you so much.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Paula you make me blush with your warm, wonderful comments. I am so blessed to have such talented hubbers who follow me and read my work. A writers gift is in the readership, and I am truly 'gifted' by mine.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

This is the first time I am writing in a female POV. I am curious to see the reader response... and I am encouraged by yours, brave warrior. I hope years of working in my profession, listening, empathising, marveling at the wonder that is the female of the species helps me along!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Kaili, I'm ever so grateful that despite your busy demands and distractions you found the time to read and comment on this. Thank you so much!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Ruby, thank you for your visit and comments. I was searching for the right song to convey the sentiments the story represents and I think this Celine Dion song just wonderfully fits the bill.. really appreciate your comments.


eHealer profile image

eHealer 4 years ago from Las Vegas

Docmo! Excellent and so creative. Thought provoking, You Rock!


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

oh yes...would love to know where this dad was 30 years!!

Poor mom and the girl!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

eHealer- thank you.! Glad you like this.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Ruchira.. appreciate your visit. Thanks for reading and wanting more!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

This sounds like an interesting and enjoyable novel. A woman tends to become aware of her own body and health-issues when there are no other bodies - or rather not enough - around demanding her attention and loving care. Of course, Susie's mom would turn inwards, or on the flip-side, completely outwards. So often in the case of mourning a spouse, the closest beloveds - the children - are complete overlooked.

My hat off, Docmo, for writing in the first person as a woman. I always read fiction of this kind with great interest, for how, I wonder, could a man know what goes on in the mind of a woman? It would be impossible for me to do first person as a man. Or maybe I should try?

Voted up, interesting, well-written and promising :)


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Martie- thank you so much. .. I was initially worried if I'll get the voice right and am still working on it but from the wonderful comments it sounds I may have done alright so far. I wanted the narrator to be an amateur in fiction writing who grows in confidence with each chapter ... hence the input from 'David'. let me know what you think as the story progresses... Much appreciated, as always, Baby Tjoklits!


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Such great writing, and from a woman's point of view too! This sounds real and immediate. I will read the rest for sure.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

For me, Mohan, the mark of a very good writer is to entertain and to hook the reader although not always in that order. You have done just that with this first chapter in 'Suzie's' story, so count me in for the series.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi Mohan, interesting start to your story, especially writing from a girls point of view, just of to read the rest!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Mohan,

I am immediately captivated by the title and your illustrations. Your style is confident and draws the reader immediately into the story, an online "page turner".

I am struggling to pick a favorite genre in your writing, for you are masterful in all. I do love a "good book" and this sure has the makings of one. Moving on and voted UP and UABI. Hugs, Maria


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

You weave a web that pulls the reader in happily. I read Part II and had to come back here to read Part I. What a wonderful story...thank goodness for your David character or we might not have it to read ;)

Voted up, awesome, and interesting. Sharing with my followers so they can be drawn in too!!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

xstatic-- this is the first time I've attempted the female POV in this style of fiction, with some trepidation of course. Thank you!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

drbj- from one 'hooker' to another I really appreciate your comments. You, too hoke the reader in and am glad to be thought of in the same way. Thank you!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thanks Nell, much appreciated!


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Maria- you've really got me beaming. I want to be liked for my writing, and not for my genre. I hope people will read whatever I write, for the way I write it and present it. this way I can escape the confines of genre and be like those writers of the past who didn't have 'tag's and 'genre' classifications to confine them. Isn't that one way of not being predictable, apart from hoping to be predictably 'good'. Love and hugs x


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Mary, you're a star- thank you so much for your wonderful comments and readership. And thanks for sharing this.


CrazedNovelist profile image

CrazedNovelist 4 years ago from Hampton, GA

Docmo... what took me so long to read this? It's a great piece of writing and you have an easygoing prose. You're not overzealous and you don't leave the reader wondering "is that it?" You actually do a great job of drawing the reader and bringing in the central conflict. I was entranced, buddy. Great work and I can't wait to read part II!!

-Aubrey


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Gripping... you made me get lost in your words.. m running on to the next part


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

This was beautiful but sad.. docmo you are a master at this

blessings

Oh yes I do want to read more

Debbie


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you so much Aubrey, really appreciate your feedback. I am glad you like this story and my prose. The story has been running around my head for a while and I thought I better commit it down on 'paper'.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Rahul- thank you so much for reading and sharing. Really appreciate your support.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Deborah, really kind... thank you very much!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Docmo this is such a great start to a story that I think will touch our hearts as it has already mine..wonderful writing here. On to chapter two..I shared on face book too. Thank you.

Sunnie


midget38 profile image

midget38 4 years ago from Singapore

A sad, touching short story that kept me glued here. Am zooming in on Part 2 in a while! You really have a great imagination! Shared on HP, tweeted and Google Plused.


D.Juris Stetser profile image

D.Juris Stetser 4 years ago from South Dakota

Deep work here. You wear another character so realistically. Hope this continues. I just discovered it. Voted up, beautiful, awesome, and interesting. You just never fail to deliver the goods, Mohan. Love this. Thank you for sharing it. and I also plan to share it. take care, my friend. I miss spending more time on HP, with you and the other friends I've made there. hugs doti


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Thank you so much dotti for reading this and commenting. I have the whole story in my head and have written chapters II and III. Four is on the way... it is the first time I am writing as a 'woman' protagonist and it has been an interesting exercise in POV.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

thank you Michelle for your kind words.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 4 years ago from UK Author

Sunnie.. it is a thrill to have this story read my so many of my favorite hubbers whom I admire for their writing. thank you for reading and sharing.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 4 years ago from Taos, NM

Docmo: This is excellent writing - so engaging and I want to read more. You know how to tell a story! On to part II


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

This is an exciting story and it certainly leaves you wanting to know more.


wanabewriter 4 years ago

Very nicely written. Looking forward to continue reading the next chapters.


Phyllis Doyle profile image

Phyllis Doyle 4 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

Docmo, I voted all Up except funny and also to read more of this very interesting story. It is very well-written and holds my interest from start to finish. Well done!


AudraLeigh 4 years ago

Yes, I am intrigued to read more. Maybe intrigued is not the right word...maybe curious or needing? Beautiful pic at the opening...


raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 3 years ago from Naga City, Cebu

great story...what will life be like after 30 years?


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 2 years ago

I am so glad I happened to find this. I am collecting great stories to read, with intriguing characters, to escape for awhile. I find this so far to be well worth the read. Shared, up and tweeted. Going now to part 2. :-)

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    Docmo profile image

    Mohan Kumar (Docmo)951 Followers
    224 Articles

    Mohan is a family physician, film and TV aficionado, a keen bibliophile and an eclectic scribbler.



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