She's Just Another Dead Spic to You Guys!

Detective Laura Kimber stood before the body now, her face pale with resolve. Next to her, Nathan Chambers appeared grave and tortured, gnawed at by the senseless murder. Kimber felt him moving solemnly beside her, just staring at the body of the young woman. In his mind, Chambers catalogs the evidence that needs to go to Congress Street. The bullet. The knife. The nested pile of clothes. The dope. A small book bag, marred by print dust, that probably held the dope. The pillow and pillow case, stained with gunpowder residue. The bedsheets lifted carefully off the mattress and folded slowly so as to keep any loose hairs or fibers intact.

The victim was a thin, wiry thing, not yet twenty. Kimber waded in the brief silence, the bedroom light flickering on and off creating illusions in the mind's eye. She saw shadows reaching out to her only to realize that they were just other detectives moving around the crime scene. Then the family members trying to rush into the bedroom, but being held back by uniforms. There were arguments and wailing family members pushing and shoving to get in. There was always one family member who could be trusted to remain calm, to listen to all the raw details, to answer questions correctly as a cloud of black grief circles above her. She was the sister of the dead woman, and Chambers touched the young woman's elbow lightly, as if to emphasize that only the truth should pass between them.

“My sister's boyfriend was selling dope,” she said softly. “He would cheat his customers and take their money for bad product.”

Chambers nodded.

There were people screaming into the bedroom, but only one voice stabbed at Chambers' gut. It played over in his head several times. She's just another dead Spic to you guys!

The sister was so red she looked purple as Chambers grabbed her hand to offer just a little comfort. She opened her mouth to speak again, but she screamed instead. Kimber walked over to her and escorted her to the uniforms.

“Take her out,” she ordered. “Clear the area, now.”

“No,” said the sister. “I want to help.”

Kimber looked over toward Chambers and he nodded. The sister walked back and stood crookedly next to the detective.

“Was she a user?” Chambers asked.

“Marijuana, now and then.”

“Cocaine?”

“No, not really. Not that I know of.”

“Did her boyfriend use?”

“Yeah, he did everything, and then he'd mix his product so he wouldn't lose money.”

“Do you think maybe her boyfriend killed her?”

The young woman paused, as she focused on the image of her sister in her mind. Slowly she shook her head sideways.

“I don't think he did,” she replied slowly. “ he always treated her nice, never hit her or anything. He always bought her the best things.”

“I'm sorry,” said Chambers. “But I have to ask this...”

She closed her eyes tight.

“Did she have a lot of boyfriends?”

“No,” she answered almost silently. “I mean she did until she met Eric. She was loose with many guys before that. But I'm sure that had nothing to do with her being killed.”

Chambers nodded, lost for a moment in thought.

Laura Kimber broke the silence. “The wagon is here for the body.”

The sister raised her head and looked toward the ceiling. She turned slowly and walked toward the door. She stopped and started shaking. “Even though this is the slummy part of town, and my sister was just a ...”

“Don't worry,” Chambers interrupted. “We will find out who murdered your sister. I'll make it my priority.”

She sniffled and walked out the room.

© 2016 Frank Atanacio

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Comments 30 comments

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 9 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

I am glad to have caught this hot off the press. Laura and Nathan sure have a dirty job. You wouldn't catch me doing it for all the tea in China. Thanks for another great read.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

Eric thanks for catching my flash fiction first :)


always exploring profile image

always exploring 9 months ago from Southern Illinois

Will there be another episode? I hope so. The scene you painted was vivid. I would hate to have Laura's and Nathan's job...


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

Always thank you for exploring my flash fiction :)


Eldon Arsenaux profile image

Eldon Arsenaux 9 months ago from Cooley, Texas

Agreed with always exploring. An apology for not commenting on these stories earlier. I read them whenever they appear in my email lineup. Detective Kimber is as cool as a cave. I know you'll keep her cool-headed as always, just keep her coming to HubPages.

-E.G.A.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you Eldon for stopping by I will head over to return the reading favor :)


billybuc profile image

billybuc 9 months ago from Olympia, WA

I love the bare-bones approach in this writing...reminds me, in a way, of the old Dragnet series.....stark, real, in living black and white. :) Great job of writing, Frank.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you Billybuc for stopping by.. bless you


clivewilliams profile image

clivewilliams 9 months ago from Nibiru

Nice little mystery Frank. I think she was a user though. Don't let the tears fool yah!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

Jive, Clive, you know when to arrive..


junko profile image

junko 9 months ago

Frank your flash fiction is too real to be called fiction to too many Americans. You started but didn't finish because there is no end to the story. Very thought provoking trip down memory lane. No harm no foul Frank you just gave me the blues, my friend. Write on you are a very good writer.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 9 months ago from southern USA

All too real, Dear Frank. When there's a murder, no matter what or who, it should be investigated using all resources available to solve the murder and put the resonsible party(ies) behind bars. I trust that Chambers will do that very thing. Sad story. Good writing. Blessings


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 9 months ago from london

Another fab story; definitely a great read. Well done, my Friend!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

Thank you junko for stopping by, Faith Thank you too for your insightful comment, bless you gitl.. and manatita thanks for stopping by.. :) Frank


tsmog profile image

tsmog 9 months ago from Escondido, CA

Frank I think you can put this up toward the top of your best. I was completely drawn in with the interview of the sister. I really like reading your work with flash fiction and am envious. Keeping to a theme I am discovering is wise. Perhaps I may venture toward this genre some day inspired by your continued works . . .


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

I hope so tsmog, I think you'll do really well


Dana Tate profile image

Dana Tate 9 months ago from LOS ANGELES

This had me on the edge of my seat. I would love to know who killed this poor girl. One of the best by my favorite's, Laura Kimber and Nathan Chambers.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

thank you Dana for stopping by bless you


MsDora profile image

MsDora 9 months ago from The Caribbean

How you create all these entirely different scenes is amazing. Every one is well done!


annart profile image

annart 9 months ago from SW England

Superb writing as always, Frank. I like the way you bring up issues without actually naming them; it makes it so much more real, more like the way life really works. That is a difficult thing to do and you pull it off every time.

Ann


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

Thank you so much annart and MsDora for reading my flash.. bless you both


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 9 months ago from Houston, Texas

Police detectives must see so much horror and view the dark side of life. It is amazing that they can put it aside and lead normal happy lives when at home. At least I hope the majority of them can. It is good that we have men and women who can do this type of job.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 9 months ago from Stillwater, OK

Another well done piece of work, just wished that it was a bit longer with a little more to feel the mood of the scene.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 9 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

"The victim was a thin, wiry thing, not yet twenty. Kimber waded in the brief silence, the bedroom light flickering on and off creating illusions in the mind's eye. She saw shadows reaching out to her only to realize that they were just other detectives moving around the crime scene. Then the family members trying to rush into the bedroom, but being held back by uniforms. There were arguments and wailing family members pushing and shoving to get in. There was always one family member who could be trusted to remain calm, to listen to all the raw details, to answer questions correctly as a cloud of black grief circles above her. She was the sister of the dead woman, and Chambers touched the young woman's elbow lightly, as if to emphasize that only the truth should pass between them."

Frank, I am in awe of writing of this caliber. You are still the master of this genre.


Missy Smith profile image

Missy Smith 9 months ago from Florida

You always leave us to make our own conclusions, and I find that fun to do. So, my conclusion would be that she was just caught in the middle of a bad drug deal her boyfriend made and his body will be washed up on some river bank next with a gunshot execution style.

Again, a great story that makes us feel like we are right by Kimber as she examines the crime scene. Excellent! :)


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

Peggy, Avian, Missy, Genna East thank you for stopping by and commenting.. bless you guys


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 9 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Any writing that allows the reader a chance to stand in the room, or peek under the blanket, or look into a drawer, is good writing. You accomplish that here.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 9 months ago from Shelton Author

thanks again mck... for reading my fiction


wingedcentaur profile image

wingedcentaur 8 months ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

I don't know how I missed this one before, Frank. You do a lot with this short format. "She's just a dead spic to you guys!"

That is the important part, isn't it?

Take it easy, man!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 8 months ago from Shelton Author

Winged thanks so much for leaving footprints on my flashes.. bless you bro :)

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