Short Story - The Seer

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The Seer


There. She saw it again!

The small table overlooking the lake was her favorite spot and she often took her lunch there. She could hear the murmuring wash of the waves, quietly kissing the shore, and off to her left were the mallards, feeding serenely. Overheard, a pair of jays hopped from limb to limb, hoping for a handout.

She missed Paul, and wondered why he had not come around. She supposed that he was busy with the shop, and in the economic crisis, he was probably trying to drum up business. She smiled at the thought. Paul could sell sand in the Sahara, so his business would survive anything. But she still missed him.

The male jay, with his brighter colors, dropped off the limb and landed lightly at the far end of the table, his head cocked to one side and watching her intently. She broke a piece of bread off her sandwich and started to toss it to him, but then stopped. Instead, she held it in her fingers, and extended it in his direction. He hesitated only a moment, and then took two hops, deftly taking the crumb from her fingers. He stared at her for a long minute and then flew back to the limb overhead. He offered the snack to his mate, and as she smiled in delight at his generosity, she suddenly saw it again.

Out of the corner of her eye, she distinctly saw a figure, a man, briskly walking by. But when she turned to look, he was gone, and she was alone under the trees. Then she felt the same odd sensation…a warm breeze, and, as always, it had the city smells of car exhausts, steamed hot dogs, and pizza ovens

In a panic, Janet Dodd came to her feet, and the jay swerved on his return descent to her table, darting to his left and then back to the safety of the tree limb, where he perched next to his mate, and eyed the table.

The first few times, she had dismissed it as mere imagination, but the shadows and fleeting glimpses of movement had persisted, and more than that, each time there was the blast of unmistakable, warm city air, as if she had opened a door somewhere. But this time it was more than a fleeting movement. This time it had the distinct shape of a man, and it was real.

Or was it?

Perhaps it was this place. She had moved into the bungalow on the hill two, no…three weeks ago, to recuperate from the accident, and she had seen the first furtive shadow, almost immediately. “Perhaps it is just this place,” she told herself, “Perhaps I simply need to go home to Paul and the city.”

She picked up her small lunch and began to make her way back up the path to the bungalow. Behind her, the jay called plaintively, and she hesitated, smiling at his impertinence. Sighing, she dug the remains of her sandwich out of the lunch bag and turned back to the table, intending to leave it for her jay friends. She had just placed it on the table when something caught her eye to her left. She turned, and a small child was looking at her curiously. She was about to speak when a harried looking young woman appeared and silently scooped the little girl up, never so much as giving Janet a glance. Then both simply faded away, and she was alone again.

Now thoroughly frightened, she hurried up the path. The serenity of leaf dappled sunlight on the woodland floor, and the puffy clouds adorning a serene blue sky spoke of safety and comfort, but she knew something was terribly wrong.

At last, the woodland tree line gave way to the meadow, and on the far side, she could see the cluster of bungalows, and safety. She realized that she had been running, so she slowed to a walk. She was scarcely fifty yards from home when a running cottontail swept in front of her, followed closely by a silently barking beagle, and a small boy, running barefoot. Then, just as suddenly as they had appeared, they were gone.

She felt better once she reached the safety of her bungalow, and put on a pot of tea. She closed all the blinds and put on some music. There were a few dishes, so she washed them, grateful for the soothing work. She had just finished drying when the knock sounded at the door. She wiped her hands, and waited. The knock came again, and she crossed to the door, hesitated for a moment, and reached for the knob.

Mary Marply lived next door and was in her seventies. She held a plate covered with a cloth, and the delicious smell of fresh baked cookies wafted out from underneath.

“Hello, my dear! I thought I’d pop over and trade a cookie for a nice cup of your tea.”

She peered at Janet closely, and a small frown appeared.

“Are you well? You look a bit peaked. I can come back another time.”

“No, no! Please, come in. I’m…I’m a bit confused, that’s all. I’ll explain.”

For the next hour, Janet poured tea and explained the visions, as Mary Marply listened silently, nodding now and again. At last, Janet finished, and sat silently, waiting for the older woman to comment.

“You have been given a gift, my dear. You have been granted the ability to see into another world. You are seeing the spirits of those who are not here with us. You are a seer.”

Janet sighed. “Well, I’m not so sure I want such a gift. I don’t like seeing ghosts. I’ve always been terrified of ghosts.”

Mary laughed, and it reminded Janet of the merry sound of small silver bells. She smiled in spite of herself.

Mary leaned over and patted her hand. “You needn’t be frightened, my dear. They’re not ghosts at all. They’re very much alive, but not of this world."

She paused, taking a sip of tea. "You see, my dear, you and I are the ghosts. I thought you knew.”

...

This story is now a Podcast!



More by this Author


Comments 142 comments

RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Smooth - you just socked it to me right at the end! Awesome! Really admirable again.....you just spin the yarn and my brain followed right along!


SilverGenes 5 years ago

Rated up and awesome, Will. I enjoyed this very much. I'm stuck on the jay who ate her lunch though... hmm


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

That is a great ending. And this is SO well written and entrancing. I really like it WillStarr. This needs to be on the Fascinating Fiction podcast, but many of your stories do. I love all the small details you have in here and the woman's personality shines through. Just wonderful.


Dusty 50 caliber 5 years ago

Will, awesome tale with another of your unbeatable twists, it was great, peace,

dust


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 5 years ago from Rural Arizona

WillStarr - you got me again. I had it all backwards right up to the very end. Wonderful story and well told as usual.


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

Will - woot! Woot!

That means I liked it! ALOT!!

I especially loved the description of Mary Marply's laugh and the sound of the waves on the lake!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 5 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

You remain AMAZING...:O) Hugs G-Ma


SubRon7 profile image

SubRon7 5 years ago from eastern North Dakota

Outstanding, Will. As usual, you had me at the beginning till the very end.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

I love this and agree with Hyphenbird that it would be a great podcast. The ending caught me by surprise and gave me chills. Voted way up!

BTW: I also loved the stunning photo.


marellen 5 years ago

Awesome Will......you are so great at spinning a yarn.....


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, RealHousewife,

"..you just spin the yarn and my brain followed right along!"

Then I'm a success!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi SilverGenes!

Out here, we call them 'camp robbers' or 'robber jays'. They steal the food right off your plate if they can!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Hyphenbird,

Maybe I'll see if someone wants to read it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hey, Dusty!

Are you still in Arizona?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Mike, and thank you! Let's get together this year!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, femmeflashpoint,

Thank you! I do try.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, G-Ma Johnson, and a big old hug backatcha!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Ron, and I appreciate the fact that you always read me!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Happyboomernurse,

If I can please you, I'm a success.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

This was a wonderful story with a twist. I always enjoy your stories.

Dusty is not supposed to leave until Wednesday. He should still be there.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, marellen!

Someone gives me an idea and I'm off to Never-Never-Land!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Becky Katz, and thanks for the heads-up!


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 5 years ago

Hi Will ~ My husband and I were just watching an old "Outer Limits" selection the other night. This reminded me of that fact. I should have known, but I didn't pay attention to the title of this piece. Wonderfully descriptive. All the best, Debby PS [Awesome]


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

Awesome my friend especially the end.


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

I used to day dream about these things when I was a kid all the time. Imagination is a beautiful thing Will, and you didn't out grow yours.

Awesome job guy!

jim


Amanda Storm profile image

Amanda Storm 5 years ago

Enjoyed the story, especially the twist on the ending as I see others did too from reading the comments. Voted it up and interesting.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Debby Bruck, and thank you for the great comment.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, writer20, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Jim, and thanks for reading!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Amanda Storm (What a great name!)

Thank you for reading.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This is a very enjoyable story accompanied by a beautiful photo. The mysteries grab the reader's attention and the ending is a big surprise!


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Whoa WillStarr! Awesome write, didn't see that coming. Your the HP master at these my friend; and one never knows, fiction can sometimes turn out to be real, especially at Halloween time..!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

What an amazing story writer you are. I just loved this and such an awesome twist at the end.

Voted up, definitely podcast material


Lynn S. Murphy 5 years ago

Loved the story and great twist at the end.


nee 5 years ago

Wow, you got me. Not what I percieved it to be.


Clairepeek profile image

Clairepeek 5 years ago

Hello Will,

Brilliantly achieved impact... although, when Mary Marply arrived I started suspecting your twist :P I loved it nonetheless. It was not as uncomfortable as Janet might have felt; it was peaceful, with the imagery of nature and the jay. As SubRon said: Outstanding! ^_^


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Hi Will, it's pretty amazing when a story is heading towards the last few lines seemingly going nowhere, then suddenly going everywhere in the last two lines. You really do amaze us all. Cheers.


diogenes 5 years ago

I didn't get this one till the end...good ending, Will. Bob


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 5 years ago from United States

Awesome surprise ending of a very good short story. I really enjoyed the read.


writeronline 5 years ago

Hi Will, loved this. I had the ghost theme clearly in mind as I read further into the story, as you intended of course. But in the last two lines, like everyone else it appears, I saw that what I had 'clearly seen' was clearly wrong. Very clever construct.

Cheers


ThomasRydder 5 years ago

Nicely done, my friend and definitely voted up...I'm not a very experienced critic, but the descriptions and phrasing I thought were superb...it kept me readying, and that's most important, right? Now...food for thought...where's chapter 2?


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

This has to be one of your very best short stories, Will. I'm glad I read it in the daytime. :)


FitnezzJim profile image

FitnezzJim 5 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

This one had me thinking in the wrong direction all the way up to the end. But that ending, wow, it's all about perspective, and perhaps remembering that ... if we can see them, then they can see us.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

Will Starr! People frantically await and anticipate short stories from you! And this story, as well as the others, is the reason why. Another great one from the master teacher and distinguished professor of writing! Voted up, up and away!


Ghaelach 5 years ago

Hi Will.

WOW.

You can certainly write a gripping story, had me from start to finish. That was a super twist at the end.

I thank you for sharing your talents with us.

Take care and have nice day.

LOL Ghaelach


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Love the lakeside opening scene.With another midwest winter coming on makes me wish for a picnic.Then at the end I wonder-do ghosts know they are ghosts?Up, interesting and awesome.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

You had me going there for a while Will, and you always manage a nice surprise at the end.


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

all I can do is laugh!

I'm getting tired of saying AGAIN, Will Starr YOU GOT ME!!

but, I don't know what else to write...because dog gone it!! YOU GOT ME!!'

lol

Chris

:)

and as always, I LOVED IT!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, AliciaC! I'm glad you like it.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Alastar Packer,

I happily lead my friends astray!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Rosemay50,

I guess I'd better see if Aficionada wants to read another one!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Lynn S. Murphy, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

If I fooled you, nee, I'm happy!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Clairepeek!

You are starting to see through me!

^_^


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, attemptedhumour, and thank you for the great comment!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Bob!

Gotcha!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Pamela99!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, writeronline, and who knows what we really are.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, ThomasRydder,

There will be no chapter two...I know when to quit!

^_*


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, drbj, and I'm happy you like it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, FitnezzJim,

Are we seers, or are we seen? Boo!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hey, Dex!

If you're right, maybe I should charge admission!

^_^


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Ghaelach, and thanks for reading.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, dahoglund, and who knows what a ghost might believe?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Cardisa, and you know how I love to get you going!

^_*


LuxmiH profile image

LuxmiH 5 years ago from Fort Pierce, Florida

Wow! The opening was so poetic it brought everything vividly to life.

I was intrigued and then fearful as soon as I realized that she was seeing glimpses of people. I wondered if this was a Halloween story....

I felt comforted by the reassurance of the nice neighbor and totally derailed by the ending. You had me from begining to end. I love that!

Voted up and awsome.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hey, Chris!

One of these days, I'll run out and have to write a straight story.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, LuxmiH!

I was challenged to try writing a ghostly story with a ghostly twist. This was my effort.


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 5 years ago

Ah! was this your Halloween story for the month of October?


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Debby,

It was!


gailalovesbijou profile image

gailalovesbijou 5 years ago from Wyomissing, PA

This is so scary! The hair on my arms stood up when I read the ending. I love horror stories! Well done! Thank you! Voted up, awesome, and interesting.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Fantastic. I never expected the ending. Up and awesome. I love the way you write, I really do.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

That's what i love the most about your stories, the endings. I know it's going to be a surprise. Great writer!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, gailalovesbijou, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, breakfastpop!

Thank you, my friend!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, always exploring, and thanks for reading me!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Will. Your story has that compeling twist that your readers have grown to expect, but even though they have braced themselves for it it 'Get's them'. That's the sign of a true storyteller.

And if the Podcast seer's are watching, this is a winner.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, mckbirdbks,

Aficionada is a great Podcast reader, so I've asked her if she's willing. We shall see.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Wow Will, that was Wonderful and a bit spooky, but Wonderful. Great twist to the ending. I voted it UP and Beautifully done.


lilyfly profile image

lilyfly 5 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

Oh, well played Sir!!! I could never be that closed -hand! See I knew I was following you.... very nice job here! lily


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, b. Malin, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, lilyfly!

Happy to be followed by you!


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Terrific!!

I knew there would be a twist, but never saw this coming, so expertly done!

voting up/awesome


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Movie Master!


Aficionada profile image

Aficionada 5 years ago from Indiana, USA

Outstanding story, Will - it gives me the shivers! I just saw your e-mail and read this, and I'll get started on recording a podcast reading right away. Thanks for asking!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Aficionada, and thank you too for pointing out my glaring error!


thougtforce profile image

thougtforce 5 years ago from Sweden

Brilliant as usual! This story is perfect with just the right amount of details to sense the mood and the characters but the story also leave enough for the reader to imagine! And I must admit, I didn’t see the end coming either:) I never see the end in your stories, although I know there will be a twist! Thanks Will, for a fantastic read, you are too good!Voted up, awesome

Tina


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Tina!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas

I am soooooo happy to be following you and having the pleasure of reading your work. What a great way to end the story. I loved it! voted up and awesome.


feenix profile image

feenix 5 years ago

Hello, Will,

Well, you've done it again, my very talented friend. This is a terrific story and I found it quite thought-provoking.

Darn you, Will. I'm going to be thinking about what Mary said for some time to come. This is one of those stories that one does not just read and forget.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, homesteadbound, and I'm delighted to have you as a reader!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, feenix,

Since only certain people can see ghosts, maybe only certain ghosts can see people!


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 5 years ago from Texas

Will - that's just too deep... but a cool idea!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

It works for me!

^_*


Diane 5 years ago

JUST THE RIGHT TIME OF THE YEAR FOR A GOOD GHOST STORY!

THANKS WILL!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thanks, Diane!


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

After reading a couple of your political hubs....I had to go to one of your excellent short stories....and you did not disappoint me....I love how you built up the story and how you revealed the trick....great ending...a very enjoyable hub....keep up the great work.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Cogerson, and thanks for the visit!


ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 5 years ago from Lagos

I name you 'The master story teller'

you re gifted and unique


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you for the kind comment, ubanichijioke!


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 5 years ago from West Virginia

Will, lol, you never cease to amaze me by your endings. I try to keep an open mind reading each story and I can never guess the endings. Another first class story Will. votes up.


Sueswan 5 years ago

Love it Will. You are an awesome storyteller.

Voted up, up and away!


PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

very entertaining read. I look forward to reading more! Voted up!


Shelley 5 years ago

wow oh wow. Great story with the ending being a complete surprise. Great work and thank you for giving us all a chance to read your stories.You are very very gifted.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, thelyricwriter!

Glad you liked it.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Sueswan!

You've been writing some great poetry lately!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, PDXKaraokeGuy, and thank you.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Shelley!

Thank you for reading me, little sister!


Sueswan 5 years ago

Hi Will!

Thank you for the compliment on my poetry.:-)


festersporling1 profile image

festersporling1 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

I liked the short story a lot and look forward to reading more of your work. Voted up for me too.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

You are quite welcome, Sueswan!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, festersporling1, and welcome to Will Starr's world!

^_^


Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 5 years ago from Georgia

Hi WillStarr, Great story! Very well done.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

I see that a podcast is now being featured and as Hyphenbird and I imagined, the story sounds great when it's read aloud!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Cyndi10, and thank you!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Happyboomernurse!

Thanks for suggesting it!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 5 years ago from Tennesee

Cool story!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Beth!


Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 5 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

Fubulous Will, you had me hanging on to the edge of my seat with this one--I thought perhaps your main character had alzheimers, amnesia, was hallucinating, but nothing prepared me for the great impact of the conclusion! Awesome, and very interesting!!!!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Happy to mislead you, my dear!

^_*


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Bill,

I "seer" that I am way at the low end of the comments, yet this story is at the high end of excellence, suspense and a quirky surprise ending!

Voting UP & AB-- I have been missing your work, Maria!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Maria, and thank you for taking the time to read this!


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

What a great surprise ending! I was sure that the birds were going to turn out to be supernatural in some way, then I made some other guesses -- but you managed to spring a totally unforeseen surprise at the very end - Loved it!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Stephanie!

Aren't you the lady with the great old car pics?

BTW, I love RV's.


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

Hi Will, Yes, I have the old car pics! :) do you RV? Maybe we'll see you on the road one day. We love it, too!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Stephanie Henkel,

For several years, I lived in RV parks, in a self contained travel trailer, while working out of town. Now we have a motor home, and yes, we love it!


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 5 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

A beautiful story Willstar. Oh My word, maybe I need to again ask myself , if I am real, or maybe a living hologram.

I catch myself writing about these kind of topic quite a lot lately.

You put such a surprising twist at the end . You have a great imagination. I’ll be reading more, but slowly , because I do believe that the race is not to the swift.

Blessings Willstarr.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Sky, and have a great day.


A K Turner profile image

A K Turner 4 years ago from West Yorkshire

Good stuff, really enjoyed reading it, classic ghost story twist at the end (I also write ghost stories). The flow of some of your sentences, and your use of words rarely seen except for in a dictionary intrigues me. I'll keep reading, if you keep writing lool


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, A K Turner. I'll take a look.


J. Frank Dunkin profile image

J. Frank Dunkin 4 years ago from Foley, Alabama

Up, awesome and interesting. Especially liked the ending. Most of my short stories run 30 or 40 pages. Perhaps I should read more of your stories and learn the secret of brevity.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, J. Frank Dunkin, and thank you! I'll take a peek at your work!


Garifalia 4 years ago

Of course it's Awesome; from that gorgeous picture to the last word. How did you get the picture to come out that big?


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

What a great story! Sharing this one everywhere!


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Hi, Garifalia, and thank you.

I simply posted the picture and HubPages did the rest.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you kindly, Audrey!


PurvisBobbi44 profile image

PurvisBobbi44 4 years ago from Florida

WillStar,

Another brilliant story from your magnificent imagination spun into the windmills of my mind.

It has been raining for days here in Florida---and I thought---I need to read a Will Starr story, and there it was in front of me when I logged on.

My Fiction Angel is watching over me.

Great Job and please tell me you are writing a book or have a book published.

Your Hub Friend,

Bobbi Purvis


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Bobbi!

I can write a little, but I am baffled by the publishing process! I need a keeper.

^_^


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PurvisBobbi44 4 years ago from Florida

We all feel that way sometimes---you just find a computer Geek that knows how to publish on Kindle Fire and take off.

Good Luck in whatever you do. Just do not stop writing.

Your Friend,

Bobbi Purvis


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WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you Bobbi.


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cat on a soapbox 4 years ago from Los Angeles

Hi Will,

Wonderful descriptive details , especially the begging jays! You've such a gift for storytelling and stimulating the imagination for a multi-sensory experience. Each bit you write is a treat for me! Thanks :)

-cat


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WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona Author

Thank you, Cat!

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