Feeling Sick to my Stomach Nervous - a Poem

All is well as I wake up and turn to snooze the alarm

Feeling my dog pressed warm against my side.

And then I remember, and I notice my stomach

Fluttering and heavy at the same time.

Aw, damn. This is really happening.

I roll over, but I can’t sleep. Impossible.

I make myself get up…and shower…

As time goes too quickly… in slow motion.


I find myself annoyed at the big Tom.

Meowing and jumping on the counter.

Fresh water, fresh food, fresh litter…what next?

And I can’t even seem to find fresh underwear.

I guess coffee might get me going

But it doesn’t even taste right today

And falls tight in my belly that now aches.

And I can’t even bring myself to eat a cracker.


Ugh. I look tired. Maybe a little more blush

To give color to my washed-out cheeks.

Maybe pull the hair back today. No,

Let it down to hide some of the face.

I’d better leave now. Finally.

I’m already late… but do I care?

Will they? It already seems too late

For anybody to really care if I’m there or not.


I’m here now. Head down, making my way back there.

I’ll just try to do my own thing today

And wait for that call. I guess, anyway.

I don’t know what else to do with myself.

Coffee, water, more coffee--still can’t touch food.

To the bathroom too many times.

Deep breaths…just focus…just breathe and try

To finally eat…wish I had a decent lunch.


The afternoon is dragging more than usual.

I go between watching the phone

Listening for a knock on the door

And escaping to go someplace else.

Wish I could just run away from here

But there’s no way that I can. Not really.

I just have to wait here—on edge--

Waiting for the unknown answer.


I hate this. To the bathroom again.

These unsettled nerves are killing me.

And the hours drag on like no other day

As I try—and fail—not to dwell on it all.

The phone never does ring for me…

Or it’s a nerve-wracking false alarm

And not what I’m waiting for…

With anticipation and dread.


I pick up my coat and hat and look back

One more time to look around to see

If there’s a message, or a call I missed.

But now at last I’m free to go.

And I’m glad—and yet not—

‘cause there’s no resolution

And no answer, and no way

To know what will happen tomorrow…


Or if….


Stressed, stressed, stressed....

Source

This Poem Makes Me Nervous!

Whew! This poem makes me nervous as I feel those feelings all over again. I’m not going to go into detail as to what was happening with those nervous, anxious thoughts, because it’s a very personal situation that I was trying to survive. I do think, though, that those thoughts and feelings could be applied to any individual who is going through a difficult and uncertain time in life. Regardless of my not giving specifics of my own situation, I do hope that readers can relate to the feelings expressed in this poem..

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Comments 10 comments

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 5 years ago from Nepal

Your powerful expressions make me feel what you feel. Descriptions are so vivid that I felt my stomach churning.


makusr profile image

makusr 5 years ago from India

Victoria, These things do occur in our life when things we are waiting for and odd situations come up. We have just to grin and bear it, that's all. Well written. Beautiful.

With warm wishes,

MAKUSR


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 5 years ago

Victoria dear,

I know what you are going through. You have to deal with some losses and what if's?...But the road is the same for all of us. All I can say is you are wonderful creation. There is a reason for all of us to be here in hubland and onto the world. Anxiety is a sign and you don't have to go in details, your struggle is not unique, we all carry our own cross to say so.Why you are unique? You are Victoria, you have talents, hidden talents, you were a wonderful teacher, who knows, maybe you taught to future the next President of th U.S. But there is no one like you. Your baby girl picture with curly hair was so cute! I can tell you were always looking to feel loved and is the most natural desire. Hope my words of encouragement helps you a little, and hey! tomorrow is another day..and we will around for you okay?

LORD// Voting up this heartfelt poem!

Did I ask you, how are you? nope!


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA Author

I'm glad I made you feel that churning feeling, Vinaya. That's exactly how I felt.

Makusr--you're right. There are always situations we just have to get through somehow. Your comments are always so warm. I appreciate that about you.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Grammar Geek...wishing you peace of mind. I was truly stressing out reading your poem, good job! We need you to quiz us into better writers! Chin up GF, your hubber friends got your back!:)


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA Author

I have such great hub friends. Lord...your comments made me smile. You're right in that we do go through similar things, but we are still all unique. Thanks for not asking how I am--haha. You're very real, Lord. I love your warm and realistic comments!

Sunshine--glad I stressed you out. Haha! Yes, after the poetry contest is over, I've gotta get back to the grammar. (Gotta--you like that?) Grammar is much less emotional, even to the Grammar Geek. This poetry is wearing me out emotionally! :-)

Love my hub friends!


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Yes I too was getting stressed reading your poem, I could so relate to that awful nauseous nervous feeling!


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA Author

Good! I'm glad, Movie Master, that you felt the nausea and nerves! That means the poem did the job! :-)


tsmog profile image

tsmog 3 years ago from Escondido, CA

Yes I can relate. Yet, I have a secret cure. Mainly for butterflies. Create a garden for them and they settle down.

tim


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 3 years ago from Arkansas, USA Author

Tim--Great idea about the butterflies! LOL. Thanks for the tip!

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