Awesome Snowman Sculpture- Thinker on His Bidet

Disclaimer** If you are even a teensy weensy bit offended by a slightly suggestive snowman (really he's not that bad!) please move away now.

With that out of the way, I present to you a parody of 'The Thinker' only in a slightly different environment. This monumental sculpting was done between the hours of 1:30am and 5:30am on Christmas morning, and thoroughly demonstrates the sculptors fine, albeit slightly childish, sense of humour and undoubted talent in the art of snowmen.

The 'art' notes are carried below for your appreciation and general snobbery. From the bottom of our hearts, we are pleased to present "Thinker on His Bidet" - a modern artform.

Notes D'Art

Locally known as "man on shitter" this epic unknown masterpiece combines the subtle notes of terminator with modern day thinking environments while utilising earthy hints of "MAN" best demonstrated by the inclusion of his finely sculpted phalic region.

Done in the sweeping, expressive mode of Rodin, the work encompasses a Picasso proportioned posterior region, decahedrally styled upper torso and stomping lower utilities. The artist or artists, although unknown have succesfully encaptured a spirit of post modern deformity mainly appreciated by those of an "alternative" nature and ex heroin junkies.

A Colossus amongst men
A Colossus amongst men

Here you may receive the benediction of Thinker, view him in all his glory, gasp in wonder at the gourmet banquet of priceless visage or merely discreetly snigger, which ever suits your disposition most, although, out of respect, we would ask that you confine your reactions to these two.

I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert.
I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert.
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

36, 24, 36

Standing (or sitting) a little over 6ft tall (base of the bidet to top of the head) It took some time to gather the required snow while only a mere three hours of constant sculpting to produce this ice monument.

Most of his body is slightly out of proportion as we haven't quite worked that bit out yet. His feet are approximately a size 15 to 16 while shoulder measurement comes in at over 60 inches.

we estimate that stood on his stomping appendages, Thinker would easily top 12 feet high and quite possibly a good bit more! 

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
A thinker in darkness - Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.
A thinker in darkness - Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Tribute and Dedication

A good few of the captions are taken from Percy Bysshe Shelleys 'Ozymandias' - a monument in its own right and one for which we are much indebted for providing such apt and august words.

 

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,

Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal these words appear:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Truly Awesome Snowman prank

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