Snow White and Her Six Height-Challenged Comrades

Snow White
Snow White | Source

Snow White and Her Six Height-Challenged Comrades

I have taken on a new project of setting the record straight regarding fallacious fairy tales we have known since childhood. The Brothers Grimm fairy tale about Snow White was engrossing but substantially false.

Let me give you a quick rundown of the original Grimm version. And grim it is! Snow White is only a baby when her mother dies. Her father, the king, marries again. His second wife is very beautiful but very evil. The king dies.

The new stepmother is so jealous of Snow as she grows up – how jealous is she? – that she orders her huntsman to take her to the forest, murder her and bring back her heart as proof. Argghh!

The Huntsman who just happens to resemble a young Paul Newman
The Huntsman who just happens to resemble a young Paul Newman | Source

The huntsman, enamored of Snow’s beauty, has not got the heart to kill her so he leaves her in the forest for wild animals to devour her instead. What a sweetheart! He kills a boar and speaking of hearts, brings the evil Queen the boar’s heart as proof of Snow’s demise. Double Argghh!

The Grimm Brothers wrote that Snow finds the home of the seven dwarfs and moves in with them. The dwarfs spend their days working in a mine deep in the forest searching for precious gems. A mine in the forest?

When the evil Queen discovers where Snow White is hiding, she disguises herself as an old peddler and gives the innocent young maiden a poisoned apple. Snow falls into a deep sleep and is awakened by a handsome prince who just happens to be riding by on his happens-to-be-handsome steed. He takes her to his castle, awakens her with a kiss and they marry and live happily ever after.

Dwarfs cabin
Dwarfs cabin | Source

That is the Grimm version but I want to share with you the REAL story. Let’s back up to the point in the fairy tale where Snow discovers the homestead of the dwarfs. In today’s politically correct world, they would be labeled instead as height-challenged.

Our heroine is so scared, exhausted and disheartened by her narrow escape that she breaks into the first cabin she finds. Everything is built on a smaller scale: beds, chairs, kitchen, indoor plumbing. She has discovered the home of the six dwarfs. I know you are wondering, “What happened to Dwarf number Seven?” I’ll explain shortly.

Dwarfs singing 'Heigh Ho ..."
Dwarfs singing 'Heigh Ho ..." | Source

As darkness falls, Snow hears the dwarfs singing as they approach their cabin, “Heigh, ho, heigh ho, it’s home from work we go … ” Snow explains to them that her evil stepmother tried to have her killed and the dwarfs immediately offer her a deal.

They are not the neatest guys on the planet and the cabin is a mess. They could use a cook/ housekeeper. If she will stay, they will give her room and board and be her protectors.

Snow notices that her new guardians are almost always in a happy frame of mind, singing and dancing and enjoying life. One day she decides to follow them to their ‘mine’ to see for herself what kind of work they do each day that puts them in such positive spirits. What does she find?

The Dwarfs Distillery
The Dwarfs Distillery | Source

Positive spirits! That’s what she finds! Deep inside the mountain, the six dwarfs have established a technological marvel – a highly sophisticated operation – a giant distillery! They are manufacturing liquor – whiskey, brandy, vodka and rum. Now she understands how the dwarfs got their names.

Doc is the Head Scientist who formulates and monitors the various brands. Grumpy is the Controller always complaining about expenses. Dopey is the C.E.O. who knows it is smart to play it dumb when negotiating.

Sleepy and Happy are the two Inspectors who regularly imbibe and test the product. Sometimes in too dedicated a fashion. And Sneezy, with his sensitive nasal capability, is Supervisor of the Brandy Sniffing division.

Snow Queen vodka
Snow Queen vodka | Source

Bashful is Dwarf Number Seven who no longer lives at home in the forest now that he has learned to channel his introversion into creativity. His professional name is Basil DeWarf.

He has become the international Marketing Director in charge of marketing and public relations, who travels around the world promoting the products.

Snow White is so fascinated by what she sees and learns, she soon becomes the face of their most popular beverage: Snow Queen Vodka.

What became of the evil Queen? When she learns that Snow White is still the fairest in the land – and the richest – she dies of apoplexy.

And the handsome prince on his handsome steed? They were just figments of Snow’s over-active imagination. Instead, the Huntsman who has secretly been watching over her (he is smitten with her beauty and sweet nature) finally plights his troth. Nah, I don't know what that means either.

Did I mention that he happens to be handsome? Snow marries the man who had spared her life, and they return to her Kingdom where she is now the Queen, and the Huntsman is her prince-consort. The dwarfs continue to manufacture enough positive spirits for the entire kingdom and everyone lives happily ever after … or the nearest equivalent.

Fun Facts about Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

The Brothers Grimm did not name the dwarfs when they first wrote the original “Snow White” tale in 1812.

Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” is the 10th highest grossing movie of all time – when figures are adjusted for inflation – making $1.7 billion in total.

Disney received an honorary Oscar statuette and seven miniature ones for the movie which were presented to him by 10-year-old Shirley Temple at the 11th Academy Awards in 1939.

Walt Disney selected the names for Snow White's pals, the Seven Dwarfs, in the 1938 movie. Here are a few of the proposed names he rejected: Burpy, Flabby, Wheezy, Dirty, Awful, Gaspy, Jaunty, Stuffy and Shifty.

Can you Imagine what role models for children those names would have been!

Favorite Snow White one-liner

“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” – Mae West

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2015. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."

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Comments for Snow White and Her Six Height-Challenged Comrades 41 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 13 months ago from Olympia, WA

Well thank God you set the record straight. This has been bothering me for over sixty years. Your version makes much more sense. :) Totally enjoyable, my friend.


ArtDiva profile image

ArtDiva 13 months ago from Yountville, CA

What fun it is to read the tales you weave. Does anything escape your wit? Another wonderful read to set the morning off with a smile.


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 13 months ago from Germany

What a beautiful version of Snow White! I love that fairy tale. Thanks for making me laugh. No wonder the dwarfs were always happy. They own their own liqour distillery. LOL!


PAINTDRIPS profile image

PAINTDRIPS 13 months ago from Fresno CA

Oh please, stop. I have tears rolling down my legs. This is so funny and appreciated on a dull morning like today. Thanks.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 13 months ago from California

Oh my goodness! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 13 months ago from Shelton

I really got a kick out of this hub my friend awesome :)


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 13 months ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Did you also know that Snow White's given name was Betty, and that she later became a successful comic actress? In fact, she's still with us.

Great job as always, Doc!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 13 months ago

I just knew these dwarfs were up to something!


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

So happy to have set the record straight for you, Bill. I knew you would appreciate the real story. Sorry you had such aggravation for 60 years. Thanks for letting me know you enjoyed this.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Margaret. What fun it is to read your comments. Thanks for finding this a 'wonderful read.' To answer your question: "Not yet!"


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Me, too, Thelma. I loved Snow White as a child and still do. Delighted I made you laugh, m'dear. Now you know the secret of the dwarfs' constant happiness and good humor. Especially Happy and Sleepy.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Denise. How nice to read positive comments from a genuine artist. Thank you m'dear. The pleasure is mine. Now go find a towel. ;)


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

The laughter is my great pleasure, Audrey. It is small payment for the pleasure I get from your remarkable poetry.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for enjoying this hub, Frank. How didja know that awesome is one of my most favorite adjectives?


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Will. I didn't think you knew about Betty White's early years but you are correct. She is an outstanding comic actress and one of my favorites. I've lost count but she is either 93 or 94. God bless her!

You might like to read a hub I wrote some time about her: 'Betty White Everything Old is New Again.'

Thanks for the kind comment.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

You do have a nose for news, bp. Yup, those Dwarfs were very clever fellows. We could use a few leaders like them.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 13 months ago from Southern Illinois

I am so thrilled to learn the true facts. I love Mae West's quote. The dwarfs remind me of some of the nuts who are running for office. They need a stiff drink and chill. lol This was so clever and funny. You rock girl!


Larry Rankin profile image

Larry Rankin 13 months ago from Oklahoma

Great fun:-)


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Happy to supply you with the facts regarding Snow White and company, Ruby. I knew you would appreciate Mae West's quote, too. As you pointed out, some of our 'presidential' contenders may need to chill out. Thanks for appreciating this, m'dear. Appreciate the 'you rock' comment. You are not referring to a rocking chair, I hope.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for joining the party, Larry. Delighted you found it great fun.


Say Yes To Life profile image

Say Yes To Life 13 months ago from Big Island of Hawaii

Interesting rendition!

Have you ever read the feminist explanation? For example, it is highly interesting that in many fairy tales, the young girl is forced into "hibernation" by an old hag until a handsome prince delivers her from it. In Snow White's case, her hibernation is caused by a RED apple. Get the hint???


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Yolene. Thanks for finding this interesting. Yes, I have read some feminist explanations. What many folks seem to forget is that the original versions of these fairy tales were written in the 1800s and some are based on even earlier stories handed down orally. In those days, women were little more than chattels and these stories reflected the mores of the times.


BlossomSB profile image

BlossomSB 13 months ago from Victoria, Australia

What an interesting and fun article. Thoroughly enjoyed this take on a story that delighted me as a film when I was a kid.


Say Yes To Life profile image

Say Yes To Life 13 months ago from Big Island of Hawaii

drbj - why was the apple RED inatead of GREEN???


Marsha 13 months ago

Hey, Coach, miss seeing your around that other place. I see you're still up to your fairytale antics. I didn't realize you're a Dr.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Bronwen (what an fascinating name) for finding this article to be fun and interesting as well. I loved Disney's film, too, since it was not half as grim as the original Brothers Grimm tale.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

To answer your question, Yolene, about the apple being red in 'Snow White.' My first thought was the red apple might be a reference to Eve eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden causing the expulsion of both Adam and Eve.

But then I remembered that the forbidden fruit was never labeled in the Bible story as an apple. You might like to read my hub: 'Interview with the First Lady.'

What is your interpretation of the apple being red?


Say Yes To Life profile image

Say Yes To Life 13 months ago from Big Island of Hawaii

I believe it refers to her getting her first period.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Marsha. How nice to see you here, too. Speaking of fairy tales, I became disenchanted with the 'other' place. Too much dissembling, y'know. How about yourself?


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

That is a very plausible interpretation, Yolene. If I ever use my supernatural skills to interview diseased celebrity writers, I will query the Brothers Grimm.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 13 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

This is both funny and creative, drbj. I'm enjoying reading your versions of fairy tales very much!


Venkatachari M profile image

Venkatachari M 13 months ago from Hyderabad, India

Wonderful and funny. Enjoyed a lot.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Nice to see you here Venkatachari M. Thanks for finding this wonderful and funny. Happy you enjoyed this a lot.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 13 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

I loved your fact-findings in this epic fairy-tale. And by the way, "The huntsman, enamored of Snow’s beauty, has not got the heart to kill her so he leaves her in the forest for wild animals to devour her instead. What a sweetheart!" is so true and has always bothered me. Kudos on setting the record straight with this delightful hub.


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Genna. Thanks for enjoying this version of the epic fairy tale. Happy you enjoyed learning the true story of Snow and the Huntsman. He wasn't the bad guy the Grimms made him out to be after all.


RedElf 13 months ago

O thank goodness - I was worried they were running a grow-op deep in some forest glade. Sorry - lived on the West Coast too long ...

Thanks for finally setting the record straight. I'm off to read the interviews now :)


drbj profile image

drbj 13 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, RedElf - Happy to have set the record straight. Although the dwarfs were running a clandestine operation, drugs were no part of it. Swear! Appreciate your visit - let me know what you think of the interviews.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 12 months ago from sunny Florida

O my and all this time I thought I knew the REAL Snow.....so glad you have set the record straight...who would have thunk it??

Sending many Angels and blessings your way this morning ps


drbj profile image

drbj 12 months ago from south Florida Author

So happy you found your way here, Patricia. I would hate the idea of you having to wait any longer to be privy to the real story about Snow. As you so wisely pointed out, who would have thunk it? Thanks for stopping by and watch for angels on the way to you.


savvydating profile image

savvydating 12 months ago

Ha! This is funny stuff. I'll be back for more.

Cute story: Though my coloring is tan, someone once told me that I would make a great Snow White for Halloween. It was such a sweet thing to say. But I digress....

Ah, so it turn out the real Snow has it all going on, what with having her own vodka line and meeting "Paul Newman." I like it.....but I see why the brothers Grimm left out the facts---it was for the sake of the children. ;)


drbj profile image

drbj 12 months ago from south Florida Author

Anyone who finds my writing 'funny stuff' is my kind of commenter. So like it or not, savvy, you are now a cherished member of the 'club.' The Brothers Grimm original tales were so grim and desolate, that a tale with adult overtones might well have been an improvement.

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