Soldiers son .............Verse

Soldiers son

His grades in school have been dropping steadily since
the second grade ....they just don't know why
He sleeps with the blankets pulled
over his head
and yet they don't even know
that at all
the things they don't know


They check his eye's twice a year
because they think maybe he
can't see the blackboard
in the reading room
he just stares and doesn't respond
he listens intently to the
sounds of the night house
afraid of them all

At ten o'clock dad's yelling begins he pulls
the sides of the pillow around his
ears and holds on
The thumping and banging begins
and as is mother
screams the tears come for
something he just doesn't
understand

His father wonders why when he reaches from
his recliner to hold the boy but the boy pulls
free and slinks away
to escape to alone because play
is his only sanctity
Yet even his play is distorted by
reality

He plays with the rifle in his fathers
closet and imagines enemy soldiers
or four demons of the night in
his bedroom before the dawn
Once he even pointed the rifle
at the fathers half of the picture
of his father
and mother
on the night stand

For years in class as the singing begins
"my country tis of thee" ......he grows numb
only silently mouthing the words
inside and wonders
what kind of nation is this
what kind of father?

The years go on by slowly and with
the usual disappointments
low grades
no self esteem
no noted accomplishments
at all
except the distant illusions
of self grandiose
until one night
at fifteen
he leaves
he just leaves
forever
-------------------
I don't know how to finish this , how to express all that I wanted to relay to the reader, I , like many , am the soldiers son . Yet this really isn't about me . Maybe it's more about other sons , or the daughters or a million other nightmares or about many other houses with those sounds in the night , maybe it's about ......You !
Are you the soldier, or are you the son or daughter .
perhaps you can finish this verse ...........

6 comments

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Awfully dark. A world I know nothing about. It nearly makes we weep for the boy and the soldier. Perhaps I will let this haunt me for awhile.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 2 years ago Author

Hi Eric ! I wish I wasn't a soldiers son in this respect only , I had warred with the love hate relationship of such a father for years . Now for me all is fine . As like you , we grow through or into whatever we grow into don't we ? Thank you for having that compassionate ear that you are so good at my friend ! Take good care of those sons you fine father you !


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 2 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

I grew up during the end of WWII and many men, young and old, were serving in the military. For some reason more Navy than Army around me. The feelings you express were possibly more hidden. Once my brother-in-law told me he did not want his kids (3 sons) to have to go in the military because they were too sensitive and wouldn't be able to cope with things they would see and do. I asked him how a Navy man could be so affected. How he had ever killed an enemy soldier. He told me about landing parties and such.

I think he kept his emotions hidden which may have made it worse.


sweetpikez profile image

sweetpikez 2 years ago

What an emotion carving poem. I like how you write this. I grew up in a military family. From my great grandfather down to my boyfriend, they are all servants of the nation. During my early 20's, my uncles convinced me to enrol in a military academy. I did not follow them because I already signed up for my first job after my tertiary graduation and my boyfriend got mad due to the long details he had against the academy. However, in my mid 20's the calling of serving the nation echoed in my heart. I'd given my reasons to my boyfriend that he then allowed me. My family had supported me. My grandfather had given me training tips. My uncles taught me the tricks of push ups and sit ups and more. I was very happy. Everything was going fine.I would become what my family had fed me. However, this happiness turned blue. I did not qualify. It was very self intimidating. My dream and my family dream had turned to ashes. I couldn't go home. Only my boyfriend and friends could understand me. Thanks for sharing this poem. I can relate and release my heavy emotion regarding this.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 2 years ago Author

Seetpikez, I believe that one doesn't have to "serve " in the military as a way towards adulthood . You perhaps chose a different path of serving , I didn't serve there either . Although we both love those who did . I do not mean to cause emotional pain or hardship by writing so please forgive me . I also hope you don't let others expectations of you affect your self esteem ,but enough digging lol, your words mean a lot to me and my desire to help others through my writings ! Thank you ......Ed


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 2 years ago Author

Dahoglund . Greetings my friend , yes many have and many claim to have served , we have also seen the hubs about those who steal another's honor by claiming to have served . yet there are many deeper meanings to deal with as well . This is just one more . I also believe that their serving in life as they did in the military is perhaps more important . Another hub , I guess ! Be well Dahoglund ! Thank you sir.

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