Soul Mate - Kindred Spirit

CXXII.

at Branson, 2002
at Branson, 2002 | Source


"Once you've been over the rainbow, nothing ever looks quite the same."

___Jody Bergsma


Maria (Marcoujor) and I exchanged comments in which a handwritten book of my poems which I made for my George years ago when we were first growing close came up.

She'd also suggested that I record some more of my poems on video.


The hub combines both ideas with printed versions of the narrated poems.

So . . . I'm reading a baker's dozen or so of the 90-something poems in the book.

I claim absolutely no expertise and little experience at this video-recording, but here goes . . .


Included photos are a mere sampling of our 29 years together. When we met, he was 57, I was 47. At his death, we were 86 and 76. I can speak for us both that they were the best years of our lives. He'd wish the rest of mine to be wonderful.


Our birthdays were in Feb. In May, 1997, I gave him the "unbirthday' book.

1


If I can fill

Your heart

With gladness

It is a gift

I give myself.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay








2


I am as incapable

Of faking feelings

I don’t feel

As I am

Of hiding

Those I do.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

3


Can life forgive us

If we die of thirst

Upon her shoreline?


There is nothing more

And nothing less

Than this:

A total moment,

Fully lived.


Perhaps it is

The first

And final step

To God.


Heaven is

Knowing

When

You've

Found it.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Red Rock at dusk - outside of Las Vegas
Red Rock at dusk - outside of Las Vegas | Source

4


If today

You saw a rainbow,

If you felt

The sand

Between your toes,

The sun upon your cheek.

If this day

You smelled

A summer shower

Approaching,

Held a flower

In your hand,

Then know,

That you’ve known

Heaven,

Immortality.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


Red Rock - near Las Vegas, 1998
Red Rock - near Las Vegas, 1998 | Source

5


How thin

Is skin!

How close

Is all

The

Universe!


_____© Nellieanna H. Hay



6

Source

7


If I tack
The wind.

It is because

My sails

Are free.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay




Easy to Remember (and I do!) So Hard to Forget (and I can't.)

8


You have captured

My imagination

Like a ray

Of sunshine

Captures playful

Dust particles

In the air

And holds them there,

Suspended in illumination

For an

Eternal Moment.


_____© Nellieanna H. Hay


With the Hay and Barclay tartans.
With the Hay and Barclay tartans. | Source

9


Recapture it -

The way you felt

When you were

Twelve,

Walking in the rain

Deeply touched and free

Knowing who you really are.

Then explain

It all away ~

If you still can.


____© Nellieanna H. Hay


10

The Loner

Driftwood,

Uniquely gnarled

And beautiful,

Ravaged by currents,

Tumbled by stone,

And left

To dry

Alone,

Yet it

Prevails.


_____ © Nellieanna Hay


nellieanna hay
nellieanna hay

11


Life is all

That happens

In between

Attempts

To think about it.


Some have missed the picnic

Waiting for the ants!


_____© Nellieanna H. Hay


12


Fondly live it all,

Begrudging not

The tumble

To the top.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


a meaningful song of his vintage

13


Poetry
Precedes its happenings,
Or follows.


Living needs no written poetry,
Unless the words are all there is.
I think there's more.


I think that walks
Along the country-side with love
Exist.


I think the seagulls
And the roses know.

I think, perhaps,
That, sometimes,

Even I have known.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay




Orlando, 1997
Orlando, 1997 | Source

14


Listen

Wind and rain

With little ears

Whose tympani

Resound with you,

Surrounding you,

Returning back

Your Self.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay


George - Branson, 2002
George - Branson, 2002 | Source



My sentiments exactly:

"In a world of so many copies, It's a joy to know someone who is an original."

___Jody Bergsma



In each other, we each felt we'd found 'someone to watch over me' in special ways. Each of us had been disappointed before. With each other, it was never disappointing.

We shared a love of this song . . .

More by this Author


Comments 92 comments

arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon

Good morning butterfly! I am finally at a loss for words. The beauty in this poetry reveals one who has met love and refused to let it go. It reveals one who who did not insist from it, but instead, let it settle, let it build the home it came to build. It is poetry that only love can write. Poetry which the poet must let love write, without complicity. There we are treated to its authenticity, to its beauty and to what it wants to tell us. I have heard and read from many who speak on loves behalf. In this work, I have heard and read of love from love itself. What a spectacular treat.


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

Alan said it best (as often happens). A beautuful remembrance of love, of George, of you and the love of your life. Wonderful !


KT Banks profile image

KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

I'm so happy to know you have that kind of Love. That unique experience. Even when the loved one leaves us, the love stays with us forever. After 26 years together, I'm still in Awe of the love I share with my husband. I know we are truly Blessed. It is humbling.


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

"Heaven is knowing when you've found it."

Oh, the tears are flowing, my beautiful Nellieanna...as I listen to Sting,

someone is indeed watching over you...helping you to continue to spread

your wonderful joy, love and radiance.

This will be visited by me often... I need to remind myself of the real

deal. Voted UP and beyond UABI. Much love, Maria


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Nellieanna you dispense beauty everywhere you go. You smile gracefully lights up your surroundings. You have a rare gift.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Awesome poetry! Testifying that Good eventually conquers Bad, like Light conquers Darkness. I am so glad you've met George and enjoyed a 'lifetime' in true love with him, Nellieanna. Unfortunately I can't open you Poetry book' - It is set as 'Private'. The rest of the videos are beautiful. Saxophone and Romance are a Siamese twin.

I'll be back soon....


Curiad profile image

Curiad 4 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

Absolutely beautiful Nellieanna, As you are such a beautiful soul, your words are reflections of God's spirit within you.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Note: to all who have viewed it so far: first of all, thank you. But Martie's notice that she was unable to open my video reading the poetry because it was set as "Private", sent me to correct that; and has, I hope, been corrected. I thought I'd done so before putting it on the hub, but I must have missed a step, not too surprising. Please let me know if unable to open it now!

If you notice, I have a bump on my forehead in the video. Bumped it and the ice pack obviously didn't keep it completely from rising! Ah, me.

And now, to reply to all your lovely comments! :-)


Genna East profile image

Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

I love Arb’s nickname for you, ‘Butterfly.” I think this fits you so well; the strength and courage of the Monarch as well as its gentle grace and unique beauty. You bring tears to my eyes; of poignancy, of joy and of awe.

“It walks along the countryside…”

“Listen wind and rain with little ears..”

Emily is smiling down in kinship, and whispers with her heart, “This lady knows.” :-)

Thank you for sharing this. All buttons pressed and looking for more as they seem so inadequate in appreciation of this poetry.


KT Banks profile image

KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

I'm so thrilled you got to fix your video. I forgot to mention it to you the first time. I KNEW you were a lovely spirit, but you are such a lovely woman too! So beautiful and charismatic. I sending you a virtual hug!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

AMAZING! You are an amazing woman and your poetry is amazing...so is your video...everything about this hub is amazing!!!

I'm so glad I came across it. For some reason, even though I am following you I don't get notifications of your new hubs so I'm going to unfollow then follow again to see if it helps.

You are an inspiration to all with your beauty both inside and out. What a privilege it is to know you and be able to share the brilliant and beautiful hub you've just published.

I voted all the way across to give you a grand slam and shared with my friends. God Bless you Nellianna


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

These are just so beautiful. Love is an amazing thing! And your love shines through each one of these. Thank you so much for sharing these with us and I will pass these on---


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Alan, my most esteemed and beloved friend, - thank you for launching the viewing of my hub. It was one I was somewhat tenuous about sharing, but one I couldn't help but share! It would have haunted me if I'd not done so!

If your lovely comments are an example ob being at a loss for words, I can only hope for such a condition myself!

This was all about expressing having experienced true love together with someone who was mutually experiencing it. I'm well aware that's not always how things work out, no matter how one might wish it to and work for it to. It's simply a gift of itself- love-, I guess, which can't be demanded, expected, bargained for or even earned. But it is a bit like creative inspiration, which seems usually to just descend on one; - but then, once it's there, one must rise to meet it and keep it welcome and being "done". So, with love.

So if you hear and read from love itself in my words, dear Alan, it's because love gave them to me for safe keeping and I've tried to keep them safe as well as being done.

Thank you so much for surely the loveliest of compliments a poet and a friend could ever hope for!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Jim, dear friend. - thank you for feeling Alan's words as your own and saying so. They deserve to be honored and I'm honored to see your agreement with them; though I know I fall short in many ways, but deeply caring isn't among those. I'm pleased when I can communicate that.

It was 4 years ago Sept. 5th that my George departed and I am ever aware that I have a soulmate watching over me still. He brought out the best in me and I feel certain that I did, in him. We were better people for having known and loved each other. We both knew how valuable that was, too. We were capable of valuing it by our prior experiences.

Thank you for your heart-warming comments!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

KTB - how good to see you, fellow Texan! Yes - oh, yes -- how right you are that when it's genuine, separation is not final. The love lingers on to sweeten the other things in life and to infuse every day with good feelings and optimism. Many tears flow, especially for the first few yeas, but somehow they're not negative ones - except if one recalls something one might have done or said for the beloved which would have better communicated it in action and in awareness. I'm glad that those regrets aren't major, but I've found myself at times saying, "oh my dearest - I should have . . ." But of course, he knew and knows my motives. More often I find myself saying "OH - you're so precious!" when I get a glimpse of some of his 'tracks' around the places we shared or those he followed in pursuit of some invention or solution. His presence was apparent in life and still is.

I'm so happy for YOU to have that kind of love, too! It is a humbling - as well as an empowering - blessing! Enjoy every moment of it! I'm sure you do!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Maria, you actually brought this on, you know! Our 'conversations' reminded me of that beloved little red book, which is never far out of sight, but isn't always in high focus, as it stacks among other 'blank' books of my poetry written at various times. The one in which I'm currently writing, jotting, even editing, is quite a lovely journal. It has a lock and key, and even a little pocket for the key. Not sure how secure that would be if one really wanted t keep snoopers out! But I think that a lovely looking journal inspires one to write lovely things in it.

Speaking of which, your comments here are lovely! Thank you, thank you. I will visit often myself to soak up the encouraging comments - and to listen to Sting! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mike, your comment makes me smile, as always yours do! I can think of few things better than lighting up my surroundings with a smile! And George used to tell me that! It certainly encouraged me to want to smile! Thank you so much.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

Such beautiful expressions of love. A song bird hidden in a tree. Reminding us of our hearts. Thank you


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Darling Martie - you saved the day, letting me know the video was mute because of the setting! I really thought I'd switched it from 'private', which is where I leave it while getting it set up and tested -- sort of like the 'unpublished' mode for a hub till ready to launch it. I must have missed a step in th process, though. And of course, one doesn't notice it's set 'private' when one is the author.

I so agree about the saxophone! Coltrane's is so rich and sensual, too. I'm not a big jazz fan, except when it is so beautiful like his - and Diana Krall's, and of course - Ella's.

The 1942 "There Are Such Things" is such a classic. The PIed Pipers' only female singer was none other than Jo Stafford. And of course Tommy Dorsey's orchestra and his magnificent trombone were the launching pad for Frank Sinatra's earlier successes. I chose the song for this, though, because it expresses the belief that good relationships and other good things are possible; and also because it was my George's era. I was still playing with dolls, but he was preparing to go to the South Pacific on his LST to places like Iwo Jima and other major battlegrounds of WWII. Songs like that were very encouraging to the guys so far from home.

And of course - Sting. I melt hearing that version of a song that melts my heart, anyway.

Thank you for a wonderful comment and I hope you're able to open my video now!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

'Heaven is knowing when you've found it'

You my dear nellienna found heaven and knew it.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful hub. It was wonderful to hear you read some of your poetry


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Genna - I'm honored by your comments! That nickname expresses his endearing perception and acceptance. I'm quite fond of it myself! I once wrote a poem which begins, "Fragile butterfly, with tensile strength of steel. . . ." - which your observation about the Monarch expresses in other words. Monarchs really amaze me.

I hope Emily is smiling down. At one time I truly felt I was meant to carry on her work and expand her own sphere. Pretty ambitious of me, but with her as my muse. . . . who knows! I think we share some heart and soul.

Thank you for your beautiful comments and votes. I know what you mean about the limited choices of adjectives. I guess they must be rather generic, though, since they must apply to hubs ranging from hot chili recipes to learned essays on serious subjects by writers from wannabes to professionals. I find myself wishing I could 'write in' my own adjectives for outstanding hubs which really touch my whole being. Thank you for that way of expressing your response here!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mary, what a wonderful compliment! I'm glad you came across it too. Touching my dear friends in a positive way is so gratifying. We've shared a lot, thanks to our collaboration on Alan's "The Journey" and participation in others' hubs, such as Maria's 'Interviews' and several other outstanding hubbers we both follow, where we can meet on their comments threads. It's a special bonus of HubPages to have opportunity to mingle on each others' comment threads. It's nearly like good old-fashioned communication!

BTW - I've found it simpler, more timely and handier to check for new hubs from those I follow, not by relying on the email notifications, but just going to "my account" which is on a drop-down menu when I click my name on the black task bar just above my profile. Then click "Following", then "Hubbers You Folow". There, one can choose to view them either alphabetically or by "recent hubs". Doesn't matter if their most recently published was a year or more ago or 2 seconds ago. That listing is by the latest hubs of all those one follows, so it is really current. It's so handy, being already on HP so one doesn't have to hop back and forth between email and HP. Maybe that could resolve that problem of not getting the email notifications for you. It did so for me.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Audrey - Thank you so much. Indeed, love is amazing. It expands one's heart and mind to appreciate all life's bounty, as nothing else can. I'm honored that you'll pass these on, and that you graced my hub with your presence. Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mhatter, what a poetic comment! I love that! Thank you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Rosemary - yes, I know - I did find my heaven! And as Jody Bergsma's quote says, "Once you've been over the rainbow, nothing ever looks quite the same."

Are you familiar with her work? She's primarily an artist and most of her art used to be whimsical pictures of kitties, inscribed with such lovely messages as that. This one was attached (in her own beautiful pen & ink lettering) to a watercolor showing rainbow-colored, smiling kitties lounging around. I bought it and another one of her limited numbered prints back in the early 1980s at a street art fair, and have treasured them ever since. The other quote from her about unique authenticity on this hub is from the second art print of hers I acquired that day. They hang in my upstairs bathroom, where I can be reminded frequently.

I appreciate your sweet comments so much! Hugs!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Oh Nellieanna ;I am on a catch up with hub reading day and this is one of my first reads. What a wonderful and beautiful gem which I am saving forevermore.

I have your video link running and I have tears in my eyes because your words are so heartfelt;so wonderful ;so beautiful!!

If we ever met up in person one day I know exactly what sort of person you would be.

An intelligent , warmhearted,beautiful lady so full of dignity and even more also so very inspiring for me.

I do so hope that I may carry on with my life showing a little of the dignity that you have.

You and your George were so obviously soul mates;made to be together and here I can also proudly say that I know what this feels like because I have also have found my soul mate ,my Dai.

Here's to so many more beautiful words to share for a long time to come.

This hub will have a lasting effect on me my dear friend and I thank you from my heart.

Eddy.


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Thank you nellieanna .

I was unaware of Jody Bergsma but I have just been to her website and art gallery and I agree she does paint some lovely whimsical creations with lovely titles. Thank you for bringing her to my attention.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Eddy - I'm running behind with reading hubs too. It happens. I'm most honored to be one of your first current reads! Thank you so much for the kind comments, too!

I'm very certain of the sort of person you are "in real life" too. I think we're both our real selves here! I see you as articulate, bright, happy, genuine, and easy-to-be-with! Describes a great friend's traits!

I'm so glad you have found your soul mate, too. It's a wondrous thing. Thank you for sharing and for all your lovely responses!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Rosemary - Oh, good! Jody's art and focus has become more serious than it was "back when" - and, of course, that is good. It fits in with her artistic- philosopher or philsophic-artist personality. I'm glad you checked her out. I've not visited her site in some time, Makes me want to see what she's done more currently!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Oh, I am enjoying your video tremendously, Nellieanna! I am downloading it in order to watch it forever and a day. You are beautiful and absolutely adorable! Your love for George inspires me to love and appreciate the man in my life even more. I think only people who have experienced the greatest disappointment in love are eventually able to appreciate love with all their heart and soul. I am sending you hugs loaded with love :)


arb profile image

arb 4 years ago from oregon

I returned today to watch your recital which I had not time to do yesterday and I thought, The butterfly seems so fragile, so vivid and delicate to the eye. It settles on upturned palms and thrills our hearts as though we have been priviliged by some enchanted visit. Therein lies her strength. We are bewitched, left staring into empty palms and the magic that was momentarily there.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

What a treat! I returned from running some errands to find followup comments from two of my most favoritest people! Needed to start some supper for a gradually cooling-down September evening and, almost without thinking, I've a "Nellieanna" soup strarting to simmer on the stove. George used to call this my "hot salad". Very apt - lots of lovely fresh veggies - carrots, celery, a small red potato-with-skin, some shredded green cabbage, onion & cooked chicken breast chopped into chicken broth from a can, seasoned with curry and Kikkoman low-sodium soy sauce. Never overcooked and lovely any time of the year, especially when summer is fading.

So I had the luxury of relishing the thought that yours and Alan's messages awaited my replies as soon as I'd tended to that!

The soup may be rushing things a bit. I'd turned off the A/C & opened up the house, possibly a little premturely; it's 80 still. Tomorrow's high will be in the low 70s, with lows starting down in the 50s. After what we've had, it's a cold front! But I may convert my first mug of the soup into a cold-hot-salad-soup! Definitely turning on fans, if not A/C! Reminds me of when Texans used to light the fireplace on fall evenings and leave the A/C running! hehe. I've never done that, though. In fact, the fireplace here has never been lit while I lived here, which is now 26 years. I had plenty-years of fireplace-tending in Indiana. giggle.

I'm honored that you downloaded my video and intend to watch it again. You know that your video on your interview with Maria was what initially broke through with the idea. Your strong musical voice with its rich Afrikaans accent is the high benchmark! I've kept it for my review, too! I can even hear its lovely tones in my mind.

I hope you do have and will continue to have and enjoy such a love in your life! It's "worth its wait in gold", as I said in one of my early poems. You're so right that having experienced disappointment enables a person to love more deeply - - if it doesn't embitter them. That can happen too, sadly.

Your compliments are so precious and appreciated! Thank you.

I'm sending back huge hugs and lavish love, my cyberdaughter!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Alan! That is stunningly beautiful! Thank you!

There's a valuable lesson in the outstretched palm, too. It's the only way to actually hold love.

There's a wonderful reference to that lesson in Anne Morrow Lindbergh's "Gift From the Sea", in which she and her daughter are strolling along a beach and daughter asks, "Once you find the man of your dreams, how do you hold him?" Without saying a word, mother reaches down, picks up a handful of sand and begins to squeeze it, more and more tightly. The more she squeezes, the more the sand sifts through the cracks between her fingers. When she finally opens her palm, the bulk of the sand is gone, except whatever grains clung to her moist skin. The daughter just stares at the empty palm, nods affirmatively and says, 'I see'.

Of course, the sand would have rested easily and continuously on an open palm. Makes such sense, but is so often ignored. Even busy butterflies would come and go - but aways return to an open palm.

Life itself is momentarily here. But in its moments. . . . it is radiant!


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and awesome. Now you've got me in tears but that's great Love every thing about this. Your video, the music and of course the words. My hubby and I are also soul mates and i pray we will still be together lots more years. You know he is still and will be beside you till you both meet again and you will. Go out at night and the first bright winking star you see will be him smiling at you and glad you still love and remember. Passing this on. Hugs to you and God bless.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Gypsy - yours is dear comment and to bring you to happy tears is a privilege. Thank you for your compliments. I know you'll have many happy years to come with your beloved soul mate.

Yes, I'm very aware that George is beside me. I feel his presence and love and I talk to him a lot! It's not a morbid obsession at all. I'm just aware.

I like the idea of looking at the first bright star showing him to me, too! I know our two beloved kitties were happy to see him when he joined them up there because I 'heard' their meows at the moment he left for the journey. I'm sure there were many more loved ones awaiting him who will still be there for me.

Thank you for the visit, comments and for passing it along. Hugs.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Nellieanna - you beautiful pixie, you. I loved your exceptional video, imaginative poetry and inventive graphics. And you are a philosopher, too. You deftly summed up the meaning of life in these nine profound words: 'Some have missed the picnic, Waiting for the ants!'


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

I cannot agree more, DRBJ. It's what people do to thwart themselves (ourselves) continuously!!! You get it!!! :-)


Vincent Moore 4 years ago

You my poet are a genuine expression of love. I can see in the photos and the choice of music that love has smiled on you greatly. George most definitely was and still is your soul mate/twin. He awaits your arrival on the other side in good time. Time is not of any concern here as your love for each other extends all barriers of time. I had my ear plugs on listening to the music while I read your words. Your recital was fun to watch and your passion for your work definitely shows. I am so pleased to have come for a visit. I felt like I was in a Bogie/McCall movie as I watched and read your beauty. Hugs BTW Arb summed your work up beautifully, I can't touch that, however hold it close to my heart.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear, dear Vincent ~ Yes, amazingly - there is real love to be given and to give. When some of us have tried before and been defeated, the REAL thing comes to us with golden chimes and sparkling lights which grace our path together from then on. I won't say there were never any kinks, but those were few, - mostly involving my trying to defend people close to me whose behavior was indefensible! But it resolved itself and he was my champion even in that matter, with important results which prevented great loss to me.

Beyond that, biggest differences we encountered were how to stack the dishes in the drainer & my getting to bed at reasonable hours. We had a little 'thing' in which we both argued that the other was the SWEETEST BABY, and about who came up with the term. (I got it from James Taylor's song but George claimed he thought of it.)

We could have fun together with tiny pleasures & turn inconveniences into fun. It really takes kindred spirits to do that over nearly 30 years, I'm thinking! And we could let each other pursue our different interests without problems ;-). We just did it and it was always OK. We were together in space and distance even when one or both of us were totally engaged in our own stuff.

I wouldn't know how to advise anyone to do the same. We didn't TRY to or think about doing it; - it just fit and felt all right - better than all right!

I've never wanted love I needed to beg or force. I was always ready to do my part or more, but learned that only when both parties want to, does it really blossom and sparkle. I'd wish it for everyone. I'm sure that being open to it, maybe even expecting it to happen, helps it to come. But what can I say? It's truly like a gift from heaven which comes almost unbidden; and when it does, there's no doubt about it's being the real thing. It has to be shared. "Unreciprocated love' is an oxymoron.

I'm so honored that Bogie/Bacall's love (which was true all through their real lives, as well as on the screen!) came to your mind as a comparable! When one sees such a love, it's unmistakeable!

I so agree that Alan's words are surely among the most lovely imaginable and they always give me goose-bumps. Yours are no less authentic and pleasurable, Vincent. It's such an honor to have friends of both genders who truly partake of one's feelings about life and all its many facets.

I think of my special men friends and I know that George would love ya'll too! He loved to write, too, you know, and was quite good. His poetry was pristine, though he wasn't prolific like some of us. Each verse was a jewel. His secret wish was to have been a writer and/or an 'egghead' professor and/or a golf pro! :-) But practicality raised its head when he asked himself how he'd make a dependable living at any of them, so he chose engineering, for which he had talent, too. He never gave up pursuing all his many interests as avocations, though.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

I'm giving one of my Facebook pages (Everyone has a dream)a makeover and will from now on will be posting stories/poems etc which have inspired me the most.

I loved this gem and it has to be shared.

Enjoy your day my friend.

Eddy.


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Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

You're always so very endearing, Eddy. Thank you. I'll have to check on that page - it sounds charming and so YOU! Hugs.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

"Once you've been over the rainbow , nothing looks quite the same " , wow , do I love that !.......

If I can go through life and but love once

like my friend Nellieanna

I will have lived well I believe

to have loved the way I wanna

And yes the other side of rainbows

are ever colored in brilliance

Teaching us that there is no better

virtue than loves resilliance

Just a little ditty for you !

I never read Nelieanna's words without hitting every button I can !

Ed


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ed, I'm so honored that you visited my hubsite! I love the ditty and I'd love to have a magic wand to be able to bestow a great love on people I care about like you! It's the greatest thing in the world. I miss my George, but he left me with such abundant love and good memories, you know?

Thank you, my dear friend! And I love reading your work, too. You've a keen insight and deep feelings - they show through each of your poems.


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

Heaven is

Knowing

When

You've

Found it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dearest Nellie how sweet is your verse and how passionate is your kindred spirit. Most spend their entire lives seeking the one they share their soul with and when found each moment of everyday is filled with completion. The love; the magic; the beauty of it all I am glad to have found my Ragnar just as you had found your George.

Your soul resonates of emotion; awaking a need to love for any who are unaware of this blessing. You are beautiful Nellie; you possess the art to touch a soul enough to leave a gentle fingerprint upon it. Thank you for being you Nellie.

Unfortunately; here youtube is banned so I am afraid I could not view your video but I am bookmarking this hub so that if youtube is ever unbanned, I would come and see this video. :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Qudsia - thank you, dear lady! We're both blessed to have shared with our soul mates! Yes! I am gratified that my sharing may inspire others to believe they may also find their own loves.

What a lovely compliment: " . . . you possess the art to touch a soul enough to leave a gentle fingerprint upon it." I can survive a long time on that! :-)

Is the ban on u-tube general there or just if it's on Hubpages? I could email you the link to it if you could open it that way. But if there's an overall ban, that wouldn't help, would it? I'm really sorry you can't open that one. It's very personal - just me reading my poetry. Maybe I could retrieve the video I made on my computer to put on u-tube and send it to you as a file, or maybe put it on my own website where you could open it. I might do that in any case. Let me know what you think and how I might get it to you.


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 4 years ago

Nellie, the ban is youtube general overall ban so umm I might not be able to view it even from your site but I would love it if you could send it to me as an email perhaps on my contact? :)

Much love...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

I'll have to see if I can. It's easily converted to u-tube, but I'm not at all sure how to make a file of it. It may be too long or too big a file for email to handle, too. I'll experiment. I'd love to be able to share it with you. Do you use Facebook? there's a chance I might be able to upload it to there.


dghbrh profile image

dghbrh 4 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

wowwwwwwwwww....no words to describe the feelings now, The journey of life with someone whom You love and adore is very sublime and the feelings here is above every thing. Votes up and sharing too.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

dghbrh - now that's a comment I'll enjoy recalling! It's so very true. 'Sublime' is the perfect word for the experience of ongoing, lasting, ever-renewing love with one's mate. This is, indeed, a most feeling hub, you're absolutely right thank you for the visit, comments and votes!


livingsta profile image

livingsta 4 years ago from United Kingdom

Awesome, beautiful feelings Nellieanna! Thank you for sharing. Love the photos too! Voted up, beautiful, awesome and sharing!


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Dearest Nellieanna,

This was so very touching and I am so happy you posted your beautiful poems that you and George shared. I could feel the love, the sweet presence of your love towards one another and even the fun..I liked this one most of all..it stood out to me..

" Life is all

That happens

In between

Attempts

To think about it.

Some have missed the picnic

Waiting for the ants!"

I loved your video and the poems you read. Your smile and giggles made me smile...Life is too short to not smile dont you think? Drift wood does prevail...I love drift wood too...

You are a inspiration to all to love deeply, live life simply, and cherish all around us.

Love and hugs to you my Texas friend,

Sunnie


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California

Oh, this is so beautiful...so soulful and real, honest, full of heart. I woke this morning at 2 am and, for some crazy reason, walked to my computer (I haven't done this in a very long time), and this beautiful work of love was right there; first thing I saw.

The VIDEO! Nellienna, you are completely youthful; childlike in your enthusiasm and joy....reading such profound words with a little smile and grin as if a child who has found and is sharing something very special!

And it IS special.

There is so much that can be said about every aspect of the words, the wisdom, the exuberance, the little sparkle in Nellieanna's eyes and smile as the words are read to us. What a loving gesture to George; and I can just imagine how he felt when receiving such expressions of love, life, understanding, sharing, celebrating and living life.

WOW!

What a gift to wake in the middle of the night; that time when we may be just a little bit more sensitive or open....and be delighted by the very sweetness of this hub.

Thank you.

Kathy


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 4 years ago

Nellieanna , "I wish I had a magic wand",........You ARE that magic wand ! We see it each time you touch the keys !.......:-}


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

Nellieanna...I am (once again) in awe, not only of your magnificent talent, but your generosity in sharing it with us. This hub is beautiful in so many ways, not the least of which is your gracing us with your presence on video, but the overarching love that shines through each element of the whole.

I am so glad you and George found each other at last, as soul mates should, and it's certain you each realized the treasure of the other. In every photograph shared here, the love you and George felt for each other shines past the limitations of a still picture's dimension.

Your poetry, as always, inspires and touches the heart of a reader. Thank you for sharing your inspiring words, as well as giving us a glimpse of that "heaven" you found with the love of your life. I feel blessed for having been allowed that glimpse "over the rainbow."

The comments left on your poetry hubs by other poets and writers leaves nothing original for me to say that can come close to theirs, and certainly nothing that can compare to the brilliance of Alan's words to describe you and your wondrous talent, but I'll borrow one word from Til and state: AMAZING!

Thanks, too, for describing how to find hubs of those we follow when we don't receive notification of new ones from HP. I'll have to use that method to find what else I've missed from your fertile mind and hand.

This hub made my day joyful, and I will return to it again to savor its beauty and grandeur.

Voted Up++++ and shared, for everyone should read and see this!

Hugs,

Jaye


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Livingsta - I'm most pleased to have just met you and I welcome you to my hubsite. Your votes and kind comments are greatly appreciated!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Sunnie, dear little Texas fellow-writer and friend! Thank you, my dear!

There are so many happy memories of my George to share. Many are on my own website, but I felt impelled to share these here and now and was glad I did. George was an excellent writer and poet himself. I've posted some here and some on my website. I wish he'd been alive to share in making the video. That would have been so wondrous. I felt his presence as I did it. I was sitting on the ottoman of "his chair" and recording onto my computer, in order to have the daylight from the window to make it better visible than as it is when I'm just using the computer facing the other direction. So his presence was easy to visualize.

We shared much view of life and differences complemented each other. We taught each other about those. Each of us was open to the views of the other. That has to be a major factor in happy relationships, where there are never two identical human beings, though the more things in common, the better! The best thing to share in common is eagerness to find common ground in areas where there are dissimilarities.

My hope and prayer is that people of good will find ultimate joy and satisfaction in their relationships and that they're in relationships providing them that. I know from experience that there are some in which no amount of trying and willingness can help. I wish that upon no one and that no one must be subjected to it.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Kathy - what a lovely comment. I also was up at 2aAM and beyond this morning, trying to catch up on everything which was too great a pleasure to trade-off for sleep!

So maybe my spirit beckoned yours to awaken and come by! I usually send out ESP mostly when I lie down to sleep and doze off with it lingering! I think it's often effective in being received, 'cause I get a specific tingle (or not) which I recognize as reception (or not).

But in any case, I'm pleased that you did come to my hub when your sleep was stirred!

I do often feel like a recipient rather than a creator of my poetry. It always kind of amazes me that it says whatever it says with such clarity, while allowing readers to see it from their own perspective. Believe me, that is not something over which I have deliberate command. It flows almost of its own accord. Do others feel that toward their own poetry? It's a subject for discussion, but at the same time, I'm aware that it won't subject itself to analysis or probing. Only the heart will perceive it.

I cannot help but feel those things you mention when I read it. In fact when I was writing much of my huge collection of thousands of poems, the need was to be able to re-read them to again experience what had inspired them when that inspiration was being systematically undermined. But I did read them over and over, though I might have written dozens in a single day - because it kept "me" in my own field of view and saved me from annihilation.

So I can understand your response very viscerally and thank you, thank you - deeply.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ed, Oh, - superior poet! Thank you! Poetry IS a magic wand, isn't it? Yours certainly is! Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Jaye, dear friend and admired fellow writer. . . . How gratified I am that the love shines through the black & white marks on a page and effort to express it on an amateur video! Yes - still pix are fraught with limitations to portray vibrant emotions. But I can see the love these manage to express and to generate!

Neither words nor pictures can possibly capture all which such alive love pulsated into every moment of every day for the blessing of the years we were privileged to share. Much as he's missed all of these 4 years since he departed, I'm always aware that I have been "over the rainbow", as perhaps few get to go and to be.

Your words convey your regard beautifully! Thank you for them & for it!

I'm so happy with finding newly published hubs of those I follow by that handy method, that I seldom look at the email versions, which are inevitably sent much after the appearance of the hubs on the list in my Accounts under Follow and Hubbers. The whole most recent list is right there, too, not just that day's. Another advantage of it!

I am so pleased that your day is made joyful; - you make mine more so by sharing your response! Thanks for your sweet comments, votes and sharing!

Hugs!


K9keystrokes profile image

K9keystrokes 4 years ago from Northern, California

Your eloquence and warm persona continue to capture my heart. I was mesmerized by just how much I could feel the love you have for your George; I understand the depth of it as well as the longing for it very well. I could have listen to you read every single poem and thought placed to those pages, never budging but to rearrange in my seat. It is pure joy I see and hear when watching your video, NellieAnna. I am blessed to have ran upon this gift you share, honored beyond the constraints of language. Beautiful and uplifting on every level, ma'am. Blessing to you.

HubHugs~


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

K9 - your kind words honor me, dear. I'm pleased to see you here sharing my feelings. Yes, of course, I long for it, but, still, am so glad to have shared it with him for so long. It could have been longer, before and since - but the reality of it doesn't depend or even relate to its duration. It filled my heart from our meeting in 1979 till his death in 2008 and still does. It overshadowed all that was less before it. One can't ask for more, can one? Hugs to you.


pjlacy5 profile image

pjlacy5 4 years ago from Jefferson, MA

All I an say is Thank you. There is much inspiration and hope here.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank YOU. I'm most gratified if my hub provides inspiration and hope!

I very much appreciate your visiting and letting me know your response!

Hugs!


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

perhaps we do wait for the ants

maybe happiness is ignorance of such things

grab what you can

know what you want

find as you find

enjoy your rainbows

life is a carefree place

for those who sit and observe

not knowing its motions

its clock work

nor caring.

enjoy this wine with pleasure

and in the end

having no regrets

be at peace

the inner workings

are not for the carefree

the beautiful

the peaceful

those with beautiful dreams

And why does the clock maker work

if not for the benefit

of those who check the face of his masterpiece

only to orient themselves in the day

not knowing much more about it then that.

I'm happy for your memories

I rejoice that you knew love

That soul mates for you

should be so full of life

makes it seem the way to go.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you for offering your responses poetically, & still acknowledging my joy of sharing my life & love with a compatible soul mate. But this. . .

"life is a carefree place

for those who sit and observe

not knowing its motions

its clock work

nor caring."

Wow. A flaw there is a pre-conclusion that happiness and oblivion are linked together like soul mates, while keen awareness is somehow foreign to deep happiness, as though happiness deprives participants of curiosity & concern about and access to 'the inner workings' or that intellectual awareness squelches happiness. How sad. . . .

Happiness or intellect is not a trade-off, nor does capability for happiness mean incapability for & lack of interest in and caring about serious concerns (or vice versa), though there are informed choices appropriate for specific situations. I speak from my own experience and observations. Perhaps yours differ. - Well, apparently so, in fact.

With a few precautions, one could manage to have a fairly good - and lively - picnic even if infested with ants, if they're present & inevitable, but choosing a spot without them is a happier & more sensible choice. They're not everywhere, after all.

The point of my lines, of course, is not whether or not ants are present at one's picnic, but it is that one's active expectation of being invaded by them even in an antless place to the point of the negative dread spoiling the positive enjoyment of an outing set aside for sharing human companionship, food and being outdoors isn't a best or sensible choice for folks with comprehension of & preference for enjoyable picnics!

It's not to say that myrmecology can't be pursued as well as picnics. Ants are interesting creatures from whom much could be learned about our own society, though their study is surely more sensibly pursued under conditions when being stung and having one's food and fun ruined aren't among highly likely 'givens'.

Of course, 'inner workings' ARE also most assuredly for "the carefree, the beautiful, the peaceful, those with beautiful dreams" - perhaps more so. Having intellect, and pondering and pursuing knowledge are not reserved for those with low Joy Quotients. I perceive your offer of 'one or the other' is presented as a kindness. But it's simply flawed.

Since this example was mentioned in your poem, and very beautifully, I think, - there's much to be said about choosing when it's more or less appropriate to or to not clock-watch or study clock's workings;- or, these days, - to or to not cell-phone & text. There's no loss of benefit of their use in knowing more about them or not; and no snub to the genius which created these marvels is involved if pursuing their inner workings doesn't happen to coincide with a person's current priority, (if ever), as you point out. But at another time, it may become a priority & without loss of happiness.

As the teacher in Ecclesiastes wrote:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Certainly that includes times for pure joy and times for serious thought.

Thanks again for your honest views and kind intentions. I cherish them, Kacey. Hugs.


coffeegginmyrice profile image

coffeegginmyrice 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

This is precious, Nellieanna and you are so sweet Lady. I love your video and you put a smile on my face watching and listening to you share your "special book" to your dear George. I'm so, so touched. He is so blessed to have a soulmate~ an honest and darling woman...that's YOU.

I love to share this...please visit Passionate Poetry on FB. You will find this there. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ~Tess


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Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Marites - Tess (I like that!) , thank you. George and I were soulmates, for sure. We had 26 lovely years together, plus the 4 since he's gone. You see, he departed Earth over 4 years ago.

I did visit your Passionate Poetry on FB - & commented on it on my "Shadow Of Your Smile" hub. I appreciate your kindness. Hugs.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 4 years ago

I would loath to be responsible for hijacking your thread here. If you would cherish this conversation somewhere else then I will consider things settled and valuable to you. I own them but you are right, they have become a tad far a field and whatever our fun may be, it is in your best interest to be focused in your art. This distracts and I will not have anything distracting from your art as I would be very remiss and have on occasion fallen for the same delightful faux pas on occasion.


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Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hi, Kacey. We're OK, as far as I'm concerned. I agree it's in our best interest to remove some or all of the conversation passages on the thread which are more personal than of general interest in connection with the hub, and to keep them elsewhere privately for their value to be cherished, as you say. So thank you. They are back & forth conversations with mutual ownership in that sense, btw. I respect that.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 3 years ago

I know you do and that makes this easier. You know you are always welcome to crash my hubs and since my type of conversation and responses seem to keep people from doing to my work what they gladly do for you.... You will have to teach me that sometime.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hi, Kacey. I'm glad you returned.

No, I do not have to teach you. First of all, I do not 'have to' do anything. :-)

Secondly, I've no methods to teach. What I do is just be me. I've no agendas. Primarily I do my hubs to express myself as I've always done everything I do, having no objectives connected with whether or not anyone else would ever see or know. I've literally created beauty & ideas just for their own sake and my pleasure in the doing, all my life. Most of my life, I've been out of sight, in fact. I'm secure in myself, so haven't an impetus to prove anything. If others respond, I'm pleased but it's not an objective.

So I can't advise 'HOW TO. . . ', because I've never tried or plotted to attract people to my work. It's always a pleasant surprise when it's noticed it and responded to. I can only say that perhaps those who respond to it find something in it they like, want, need or what 'fits' without its being designed to do any of that. When it happens, it feels like a purpose which has used me to express itself.

It's reciprocal, of course. I'm interested in those who respond & in those who interest me; but I've never followed a bunch of people to try to get them to follow me. I choose those I follow individually after becoming acquainted with their work & when/if I can honestly leave fan mail. I see each as an individual unlike any other, so that's how they're treated. In other words, there are real relationships spontaneously happening between those I follow & who follow me, & they're then maintained as long as mutually interested. It's not a 'plan' but what happens.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 3 years ago

I never thought you as calculating but as observant. If this subject or the causes behind it bare no curiosity for you I understand. Already you have pointed out a couple of things that I have been too self obsorbed to consider. I ame not wanting followers for their own sake but maybe my motive, such as it is, still possibly is too needy for one.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Just hang in there, m'dear. There's no formula, is the point. You're just in the 'fertile flux' phase of creating your own.

It's not too different from any process of creativity, whether writing, art, music, design, or - in this case, perhaps involving them all.

But during the creative process, one rather unselfconsciously considers various ingredients & methods, tries them out & just grows into it & vice-versa; "it' being that wondrous thing recognized - first by oneself, then by others - that is uniquely yours, and truly reaches out to touch and inspire with its authenticity and love. Uncalculated, genuine & pure.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 3 years ago

Then I would imagine that my thought at this point in that progression is, "What is the next step?" I am one of those personalities that is driven and will not stop, once I know what I want, until I have it. Honestly, I feel one of my problems is that Hubpages isn't the be all end all of my existence or even a really serious part. It is a release and at times a place to find people who I hold much in common with to be able to speak and listen without personal foibles getting in the way. I can present myself, if I try, to the best of my ability and edit myself before I regret. Pathetic isn't it?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

In my opinion, that's not pathetic. It's real and human. One's nature may be driven, even fueled by major grand purposes which are paramount, - and at the same time justly impelled by one's personal enjoyment & need requiring interaction with other humans at a less intense level. The grand plan may rely on resolution to those elements, in fact.

In the grand plan, there may be a very valid reason for meeting this seeming discrepancy, facing and becoming OK with it, so that it's not regarded as weakness, dichotomy or obstacle. ". . . personal foibles getting in the way" expresses a sense that it is being regarded in such ways. So long as it's so regarded, perhaps more frustration may be required for you to 'let go' & just BE all you are, without feeling incompatible with yourself & thinking it's a problem. Perhaps you could find that you can just be who you are in interacting with others so there need be no regrets for it, nor any sacrifice of your goal & sense of purpose.

I've perceived that God is the center of your grand purpose. So why not listen to his guidance? Why assume that he'd prefer you to be torn & at odds with your nature or with others -- those who're possibly in need of what you hope to share? And why would they want to share it if you're forlorn because of it? God's wise and patient. Lessons are as easy or difficult as our own faith or blockages permit.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 3 years ago

I have found that knowing something to be true doesn't always mean that you are equal to it. Knowledge is power but it also makes one discontent with the delusions around us. There are those who know what I know and are contented. Most of them are in the autumn of their lives. They have taken many years to understand what I do. Over time they mastered themselves and made themselves equal to the burden. Sometimes when I hear them talk about life I see shadows behind their eyes. It doesn't matter which sect they come from, it amounts to the same thing and they seem to have the same shadows. One of my detriments is that I see and cannot be blinded. I have chosen not to let such things make me go insane. You are right. One day I will be equal to this thing I know. I may be as sanguine as you are without leaving anything behind. Like the song says, "gotta get up again and try,and try,and try." I have left behind trying to convince you of anything. I know that I don't exhibit the signs one as joyful, and peaceful as yourself expects and so find myself unequal to teaching anything to you. Even so, I cannot escape my conscience nor would you expect me to.

We were talking about writing though. In some ways I find my verbal curiosities to be a help. They keep me from talking out of turn. I refuse to let them, however, keep me from talking about more mundane subjects in a way that is both satisfying to myself but might put my work on a wider stage one day.


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Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Then - there's your path. No problem. Arise & follow it. You know what you know and what you know to do, so far. So do it and remain aware and alert to its lessons and landmarks. It may reveal as yet unknown horizons from its perspective.

If it shows a need to change or revise anything, you'll know.

You already sense that when you find peace, you will be closer to fulfillment.

Peace and joy are 1st cousins, - so long as peace isn't resignation or patent self-satisfaction; and long as joy isn't indulgence or empty self-gratification. This fine-tuning may be needed for understanding. I trust that you'll know.

Only you can judge if or how your present "verbal curiosities" might affect your work in the future. My feeling is that 'all in its own good time' applies & that having anything one writes becoming very remembered, especially accurately as one intended it, is more wishful thinking than probable. Unless you're trying to appear as an unearthly non-mortal saint or prophet, being fully human would be more help than hindrance to its main message's effectiveness or acceptance by any others.

But only you know these things as they apply to you and I don't, nor must I.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 3 years ago

I never considered prophets to be less or more than mortal, nor saints either.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

So that poor illustration of the other extreme is the main thing noticed?


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 3 years ago

No, I noticed your graceful way of bowing out. Perhaps you were prompting me to somehow take a stance or reevaluate my stance. It would seem that you see my perspective as one that I am tacitly asking help with yet not explaining nor making the proper allowances for your help to sink in due to the missing details which I hint at but never disclose. I understand that and I can offer no real excuse nor should I. No, I noticed the rest but since I can't find a way of addressing the rest and am forced to let it stand for lack of anything better to put in its place, I perhaps used the hole I could see to perhaps help you to understand. To point out that even in your statement you listed an exception that I take very seriously but which you put out of reach of the mortal man.

The funny thing is that you named the path I am seeking. I will never achieve it unless God has some need of me and calls me in the proper manner but I see nothing wrong in striving in that direction and even without the title or fanfare, perhaps without as much tragedy I might at least become worthy to stand and wait my turn or till my Father calls me home having made myself worthy to that extent one way or the other.


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Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

I understand. Discussion seems to have again come to a friendly kind of impasse, which is all right. It's simply that each of us is doing what each of us does. It's not a 'locking of horns' kind of impasse. Just a 'stopper, take a breath' kind. But then, it's not necessary that it harmonize. We're each singing a musical tune, but not the same one. It's not required that we do.

Your journey and path is worthy. So is mine.

We can talk and discuss whenever we wish; it can be spontaneous.

Hugs. Rest well, Kacey.


Jaggedfrost profile image

Jaggedfrost 3 years ago

I think I can accept that though I think you would make a lovely saint or prophetess all the same. Hugs.


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

such a beautiful expression of love. You capture these emotions so well. You're a true poet! #9, recapture it the way you felt it when you were twelve.. simply amazing! "In a world of so many copies, It's a joy to know someone who is an original." We share the same sentiments. The pictures here speak for themselves. I'm glad that I came across your hubs. voting up beautiful!


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Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hi, Lovedoctor - and thank you! Your enjoyment of my poetry is a joy. It's all mine except the two quotations from Jody Bergsma, of which one is: "In a world of so many copies, It's a joy to know someone who is an original." I've great admiration for her art and brief words. I have two of her whimsical watercolors hanging on my wall, each with one of these 2 quotations on it. The other one here is the opening one: "Once you've been over the rainbow, nothing ever looks quite the same." Aren't those good?


dreamseeker2 3 years ago

Hello Nellieanna, I'm back reading some of your poems. I am always amazed by the beauty of your words, spoken with simplicity, yet eloquence. I love #4 and #8, as they were ones that spoke to me in my moment of feelings at this time. But all your poetry is perfectly beautiful. You can see the love in the words you write and express to your late husband. I hope someday I will find my soulmate. It would be nice to know that feeling and share it with someone special as you have most decidedly done. : ) Voted up and beautiful, sweet lady.


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Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Gwen - thank you, dear friend! It's very gratifying that you choose to return to read my poetry. These are among my own favorites, so any which speak to you are some I love too.

As they say, sometimes one must meet a lot of frogs before finding a real prince! George was a prince; - so it's totally worth the frog-barrage! :-)

Hugs!


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 3 years ago

Nellie, I have this hub of you book marked and in the depths of the night when I feel restless, I come here and I read it. Your words run through me like a stream of emotions, emotions I cannot express. Almost as if your hand lies in my chest squeezing it with each word you have typed here.


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Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Qudsia - dear heart, What deeply meaningful comments you've shared with me. The emotions expressed in my hub and those it stirs in you are surely the stuff of life. We're such creatures of all that we are, analytical minds and the spark of our emotions. It seems we're unlit candles till those sparks ignite us; and they are no respecter of time of day or year! So if reading my words gives yours a squeeze, it is fulfilling a purpose and giving added meaning to them. Hugs, sweet pea, (as Alan calls you). :-)


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Nellieanna, This is a lovely collection of poems. I came back to revisit. I can't even tell you which one is my favorite because I like them all especially #8. #9 brings me back to my childhood love. I wonder what ever happened to him.


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Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Marlene - Thank you! And your comment is so touching. Of course this hub is about my beloved George, but I, too, had a childhood love for whom I carried a torch till he finally noticed me when I was 16. Mutual sparks flew for several years till it ran into roadblocks. Ways parted for 30 or so years, by when we were both otherwise committed. But for about 4 years we shared a lovely friendship which included our 'others', - till, so sadly, 'he' died in 1984. sigh.


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

I'm sorry to hear about your sweet love. I'm looking forward to reading more of your beautiful collection of poetry:)


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Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you. Yes, it was quite sad and unexpected. He was only 54. One never knows.

I certainly welcome your interest in my poetry! Thank you!

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