The rumor mill had it
the end was near,
though the evidence
seemed a bit unclear...
Survivalists were
the ones prepared...
for the hand of Fate
they never dared.
They had stockpiled food
and water jugs...
built shelters lined with
fire-proof rugs...
They were all ready
to face the worst...
until the time came,
then, they found they were cursed.
For they had forgotten
one tiny essential,
that we all consider
most consequential...
and now they were stranded
and faced quite an issue
for they had forgotten
to bring toilet tissue!

"Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved."

Comments 23 comments

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Daydreamer Too 5 years ago

We do all tend to take 'that' item for granted too, until we're on the pot and the roll is empty and there's no-one around to get a new one for us!


Very funny!

Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

Hahahahah!! LMAO!! Great--No clue, I thought it was another epi! You're going to give the epigramman a run for his money!

bbnix profile image

bbnix 5 years ago from Southern California


That little precious item is a metaphor of no matter how hard we try to anticipate the future there is always something to make it all seem a ridiculous exercise in futility...

ComfortB profile image

ComfortB 5 years ago from Bonaire, GA, USA

Back to the age before 'Charmin' and 'Cottonelle'. If you have water, who needs bathroom tissue. Keep a bowl handy, can always get some water. It does the job better, and cleaner. lol. Funny though, so I'm giving you an UP! You rock!

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona


Up and funny.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Daydreamer Too, Thank you! It is funny how my little brain works...It just so happens that we ran out of tp yesterday, here, for a short time...phew! and this little poem came to me, thereafter! And...I have a son who is a "survivalist" at heart, who I live with...two plus

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Paradise, Now its funny how you say that, because #1 Epigramman is one of my Hubpages mentors, and my Hero! #2 as I wrote this little poem, he was in my head, on the sidelines...almost like he was watching over my shoulder! Honest to God! Thank you for noticing and for your awesome comment!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

bbnix, thank you, as always! There are just some things in life I am not willing to forgo...lololol Hugs!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

ComfortB, You are right...Charmin was not always around, but I, for one, am glad it is, and am grateful, always grateful for it! LOL

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

WillStarr, thank you, kind Sir! I am always glad to see you! Hugs!

Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

where is the Jack Daniel's and Marlboro in this list? Aren't they classed as an essentials?

Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

hahaha nice. its the little things we take for granted that we need the most.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Spirit Whisperer, I had heard that they were, indeed, classified as essentials...I am thinking tp is possibly easier to forgo than Jack and Marlboro' thanks!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Nikkij, thanks! Yes it is the little things that we take for granted, for sure!

Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Fun, fun, fun! Thanks for the giggle before going to sleep. Needed that!

Fennelseed profile image

Fennelseed 5 years ago from Australia

Oop!! Not good. Thanks for the reminder; next time I am bunkering down for a natural disaster, I will not forget. Thanks for the fun and for embedding this little necessity in our minds for when the time comes;)

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Sharyn, I am tickled. Thank you!

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Fennelseed, this shall serve to remind me, as well! lol

Mimi721wis profile image

Mimi721wis 5 years ago

That's funny. Made me laugh.

No_Clue profile image

No_Clue 5 years ago Author

Mimi, then I am happy, for laughter is good! Thank you!

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jami l. pereira 5 years ago

Lol way funny ! i loved it ! thanks for sharing !:) great visual! lol voted up ,funny and awesome!:)

No_Clue 5 years ago

Again, jami, thank you! This one cracked me up, too, because I have a son who tends toward "survivalist" and has everything he needs to survive in a disaster...I hope he remembers the Charmin!

BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

LOL I laughed my head off! That is just priceless =) What a twist!

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