Stuck in the Age of Disco
And you thought you had problems adjusting to an age when portable phones are smaller than a bread box and don’t require a shoulder strap, when any lame digital wristwatch contains more memory than ENIAC once did, when gasoline prices require three or more digits, when aging white guys can no longer actually get or hold onto a job now and then, or when television has more than three channels without you having to buy one of those extra weirdly-shaped antennas and then view everything through static and snow and crappy vertical hold.
Check out this guy — he’s still stuck in the Age of Disco!
Now that the glitter ball has started spinning once again, casting strobe-like flashing flecks across his dance partner and him (and, especially, his neon-glow black-light extreme-collar open-neck blouse of a shirt with all the spangles), he’s ready to point both fingers toward the floor, posture on his three-inch platforms, thrust the package straining his tight white sateen elephant-bottoms, and GET IT ON!
Never mind that his hairdo is apparently some oddly-tufted grown-out former GI crewcut. Or that his craggy features belie the fact that he was probably 22 or 23 when the disco-bubble burst in the early 1980s (and that he’s thus “OMG! as-old-as-my-grandfather!” to most of the nymphets now heading for the dance floor). Or that his cologne of choice for any dancehall exhibition is still Bacchus. Or that by now everybody on the planet (as well as those residing on one or more newly discovered planets several light years away) knows that disco SUCKS!
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