Stupid Thing To Do

It was a stupid, stupid thing to do

Wasn't it?

It was the momentary decision that would rule the rest of my life

It was the moment that changed history

And it has come back to haunt me ever since

I sit up at night, unable to sleep

I don't want to leave the house

If I'm out, I don't want to come back

I want so badly to pick up the phone

I was driving the other day and crying

I've had practice with that

And I looked over at the passenger seat

I wanted to see you there, to talk to you

Just like in the movies

But you're gone, you're not coming back

I wanted, I wanted everything

I want everything, I want you back

I want to stop crying and to understand

I want you to forgive me for not seeing what was right in front of me

I want to go back and bug the nurses and the doctors and do it right this time

When you ask me to help you, I want to know how

What to do

I want you to open your eyes and your heart to beat

I want you to breath and to yell at me and tell me how stupid I was

It was a stupid thing to do

To give my heart to you

And I know you will never truly leave me

But I also know you will never come back

I miss you more than I can say

There are no words

No one can prepare someone for this

And I need to know you forgive me

Because I cannot forgive myself

It was a really stupid thing to do

Wasn't it?

copyright (C) 2012 christopher w neal all rights reserved

Comments 6 comments

Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

A stupid thing to do, but how could you help it, huh? I felt your despair. Great poem. Sharing this one!

AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 4 years ago from California

Heartbreaking write!

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lovedoctor926 4 years ago

It's never a stupid thing to give your heart out to someone you love. It's a risk that we all have to take. I feel your pain, but no regrets. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Moms-Secret profile image

Moms-Secret 4 years ago from Central Florida

I found you because someone shared you and I am glad they did. I will gladly do a stupid thing like this because everything before the loss is all that really mattered or was worth anything.

I took a risk on one and I was broken but it was completely worth the shattered glass...

Sunny River profile image

Sunny River 4 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

This one took a second to hit me when I got the end but wow. So powerful and full of raw emotion. It took my breath away.

Chris Neal profile image

Chris Neal 4 years ago from Fishers, IN Author

Victoria Lynn, AudreyHowitt, lovedoctor926, Moms-Secret, Sunny River -

Thank you all so much for reading and for your comments. I truly don't know what to say. Thank you very much.

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