THE DOUBLE LIFE OF A YOUNG GIRL

kotaku
kotaku

LINGERING ON THE PRECIPICE

The nomadic, topsy turvy youthful experience of a little girl influenced the wanderlust of an adult woman. Never feeling quite “there” living the typical lifestyle, I have always felt the need to build upon and add to what most are happy to accept as the norm. That was never enough. Maybe its because of my childhood, maybe it’s because of my favorite personal expression: interior decorating and design. How can one possibly satisfy the need to feather the nest if feathering the nest is her favorite thing? One nest fills quickly leaving, well…the need for another nest.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself…way ahead. So, where was that little girl and her brother ?

BACK TO THE WATERS EDGE

My brother and I loved spending hours and hours sitting on the banks of the cascading creek. We’d be very still as wildlife, large and small, began to enter the picture. Birds of all kinds, singing, flitting and darting here and there. Occasionally, we’d see gray squirrels native to the area, rushing up and down trees, gathering acorns and sipping from the still edge of the quickly moving water. I used to wonder why I saw so many squirrels in the street; victims of traffic. Watching them here, I realized that their movements on ground mimicked the way in which they scuttled within the trees and from limb to limb, up and down so easily in that habitat. But, unfortunately for squirrels on land, the movements are the same and small, jerking and twitching hops don’t make it when speeding cars approach. Their paths go from leap to leap and sometimes back to cross their former steps, not the usual forward motion of other animals. Mystery solved in my young eyes. In the quieter areas along the edge of the water, where rocks and fallen branches formed protected pools, we’d hunch over side by side to catch a glimpse of crawdads on rocks just beneath the surface, small fish gliding and darting about and a water scooter or two skating across the surface of languid water. We could see deep down to the creeks bottom; the water was so clear and clean. Sometimes a flash as sun deflected from a shiny object within the pool. I begin to see that there were worlds within worlds alive before my eyes if I placed myself in the right place and waited….

We were about to reach our teenaged years. Well, my brother, two years my senior, was on the brink of those troubled times. I still had a good dose of ‘kid’ in me. Still partners, we began to wonder what was going on in the neighborhood, such as it was. We lived on a single street which dead ended at the creek and was lined on one side, only, with homes. The other side of the street was still reserved for planting of small crops; usually grasses for feed. He had formed a tight friendship with Larry who lived right behind us. Our house was on the corner so Larry’s home actually ran along the side of ours. No fences meant easy access through back and side yards. Larry had a younger brother my age. He was very shy; just the opposite of his older brother. So, young brother and I never really became close while my brother and Larry were very good friends. I began to feel like the third wheel.

BOYS WILL BE BOYS….(and little sister isn’t invited!)

The two of them spent tons of time on science projects, creating transistor planes and cars with remote controls. Both boys were incredibly intelligent and fearless. They did the usual mischievous things, too…like, shooting fire crackers off in the middle of winter during those dreary days when nothing else is going on. And my favorite, “lunch time surprise.“ It was Larry’s idea!

There always was some kind of home improvement construction going on down the street at one of the neighbor’s homes. The boys would (ugh!) scoop up dog leavings and place them in a brown paper bag. Then, they’d make ‘maps’ with little hints and markers left in evenly spread out positions. The idea was to leave a note at the beginning and end telling the unlucky carpenter that his lunch had been dropped off and to follow the notes. I got to be in on watching this unfold! The workers would return from their break with soda pops in hand while grabbing lunch pales from the truck. Inevitably, one would see the notes and begin to follow instructions. Before we knew it, we’d hear Unmuffled expletives and loud laughter! The unfortunate victim had found the treat! Oh my!!!

Brother and Larry were always up to no good. Behind the closed bedroom door, I’d hear laughing and snickering and I’d wonder what in the world they were doing!?! When they weren’t there or were in the backyard with their home made walkie-talkie (which worked really well!!) I’d sneak in to my brother’s room to see what all the fuss was about. Hidden under the bed or carelessly tucked away under clothes in the closet, were his “girly magazines.” I was shocked! Oh! First thought was to run to tell mother. Then, I thought better of that…after all, I might need my brother’s confidence someday. So, I’d carefully pull the clothing over the magazine or kick it further under the bed so he wouldn’t know I was in on his little secret.

THE TIMES, THEY ARE A CHANGIN’ (B. Dylan)

Around this time, we were all being introduced to popular music. The Beatles! A new sound sensation from England! How thrilled we were. I fondly recall the first time they were guests on the Ed Sullivan show. How we counted minutes and seconds until that show aired! It was the biggest thing since the Beach Boys! And, as fate would have it, I fell in love…L_O_V_E with Paul! Oh, he was so cute, so sweet. He could sing and ‘look at his eyes!!’ What a face! I could feel the stirrings of adolescence, thrill to the sight and sound of this gorgeous young man who caused my heart to beat faster and heat to build from head to toe! I was hooked, like a big fish.

School was an easy walk across grassy field; only about 100 yards from home. As the last hour crawled by, I’d be twitching with anxiousness! I had to get home to my first Beatles album and play it over and over and over. I wore that album out! At night, I’d place the record on my small turntable, turn it down low and go to sleep listening to John, Paul George and Ringo sing me to the sweetest slumber. Of course, I just knew that I was going to meet him one day…and he would have the same stirrings for me that I felt for him. I just KNEW it!

So, brother was off wreaking havoc and I was lost in wonderland. We began to spend more and more time apart, separately discovering the changes coursing through our young bodies, me, finding romance in solitude, he being a wild and crazy guy (with the help of his nefarious friend).

I wasn’t going back and forth from mother’s to father’s as much as before. Being a pre-teen; one who was saddled with an enormous load of responsibility for her homelife along with all the trappings and confusing, conflicting feelings, I choose to spend more and more time alone, in my fantasy life. Reading was a favorite pastime…Gone With the Wind , Twixt Twelve and Twenty (by Pat Boone, of all people), The Cat Who Went to Heaven, Catcher in the Rye, To Kill a Mockingbird,  all the favorite classics were the stuff of my days and much food for thought. I spent summers with my cat, Snickelfritz, by my side, sitting in my mother’s big fan back chair as I read away the days and evenings. While I was becoming a (very) young adult, my brother was off challenging all the rules which, I know, he felt were made to be broken.

Now, my double life expressed itself through my reading material and imaginings about Paul and boys I had begun to notice. The other part consisted of taking care of the entire family because my mother was working two full time jobs to keep care of my step father who became, rather rapidly, very ill; an illness which lasted over 9 months. I became the ‘mother figure,’ doing the ironing, preparing home made ‘TV dinners’ from scratch and being 99% responsible for my little baby brother.

Oh, yes! My mother had become pregnant and gave birth to my little brother. He lived in my bedroom for 3 years while the family tried to overcome the hardships of my step father’s long period of recovery and my mother’s 18 hour absence from home every day.

 

More to come. How fantasy and artistry filled the hours of a young girl’s days.

 

More by this Author


Comments 18 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

I can't say it enough, loved it!! Your interests were much like mine. ' Gone with the wind ' My favorite movie of all time. The Beatles, you didn't mention Elvis. I was madly in love with him, still am. LOL Thank you for sharing your childhood.

Smiles


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

Sounds like your brother was a character. Such an interesting childhood, wrought with responsibilities. Hope you can continue the tale.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Thank you Always and AA...thank you for returning to my story. I truly and really and surely appreciate your visits and comments. Your support gives me the encouragement to continue. This is fun to write..maybe a bit personal but, what the heck. I'm enjoying doing this..just haven't told my brother, yet!!

Always...yes, I really liked Elvis, too. I remember one evening when my parents were preparing to go out and had actually walked down the stairs to the car when we called out that Elvis was on TV...my mother, in heels and gown, literally ran back up those stairs to see him.


JY3502 profile image

JY3502 5 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

Good stuff Lucky!


mysterylady 89 profile image

mysterylady 89 5 years ago from Florida

I enjoyed reading this. It has heart, and it is very well written!


BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 5 years ago from New York

A wonderful writing about childhood memories. I always love to read this sort of thing, very interesting. Thanks so much for sharing.


Chatkath profile image

Chatkath 5 years ago from California

So now you have done it - You can't stop, you have started a series, a book! You are such a fabulous writer LC, I simply love your memories and feeling different - especially since they are very similar to my own (although brother is 13 months younger in mine:)

Good Job, Rated up and awesome!


your cybersister profile image

your cybersister 5 years ago from Just relocated from Florida to the mountains of North Carolina

Thoroughly enjoyed sharing your memories. It is funny the things we remember from our childhoods. Often we seem to recall the little things from daily life and not the big events that such a fuss were made over. I can see why, with all those responsiblities, you had a "double life".


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Lucky Cats,

I would agree that your style lends itself beautifully to a book with this series, which is truly one of my favorites!! What a hoot that you have not even told your brother!

You are so cool, LC... keep 'em coming please!

Voted UP, AWESOME & BEAUTIFUL!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Consistently enjoyable Kathy! Great writing ~ a book is a great idea. Looking forward to the next installment!

Sharyn


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 5 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

marcoujor..you are such a sweetheart! you have made my day....again! Your kind comments and your beautifully sensitive and flowing writing are so appreciated..I truly enjoy your efforts, too...honestly, among the "top 5!" of my favorites! thank you 100 times over!

Sharyn...we are sisters in our love of animals and efforts to save animals. I so enjoy your work and appreciate your support! What an incredible group of people I have the honor and pleasure of knowing here on HP's. Here's something I'd like to share:

http://napavalleyregister.com/news/local/article_b...


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Kathy,

The Napa article is so GREAT! Thank you for the love and attention you give to animals. The article is a beautiful tribute to how special you are. Although I already knew you were quite special :) I hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Sharyn


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

I'm hooked! I saw this hub was written in parts, so I started at the very beginning - a very good place to start (Sound of Music). Ha!


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Dear Lucky Cats, I just found this while reading Augustine's tribute to you today. I am heading back to his list to read more of what I've missed. I love your adventures growing up...sad in some important ways, yet playful in others, always interesting and made you the spectacular woman you are today.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

Hi Amy...I was and am so humbled and honored by Augustine's wonderful hub...I was absolutely and thoroughly surprised...I opened HP's and, there it was...shock doesn't come close to describing my reaction...and Awe! I just started the "4th step father" episode of the series. Leonard, the pervert! Oh, it feels good to finally get this out..

thank you so much for always being such a source of support and understanding. so valued, so appreciated!!


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Dear Kathy, I'll be watching for your next installment. I adore your revelations. I relate to everything you write. Your sensitivity always reaches inward and touches the heart of the matter.


Lucky Cats profile image

Lucky Cats 4 years ago from The beautiful Napa Valley, California Author

thank you, my dear..it's published. Can't wait to read your thoughts. Kathy


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 3 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Lucky Cats--I was reminded of some of your hubs on AA Zavala's page. I haven't read your stuff in a while. I've missed it. This is wonderful. I love your descriptions, how your sentences just flow. It's like I was right there in your childhood. Great writing!

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