THE "FERN' SISTERS...by b. Malin
Allow us to introduce ourselves, "I'm Francine and this is my sister Felicia Fern. We live on the Jersey Shore at Lover Man's (big sigh) and "Her" house...You know the "Writer", b. Malin.
"Now, Now, Francine, let's not be Sarcastic or Bitter, let's just tell our story".
"Ok, where was I? Oh yes, we are hung in the front of the house and make a Grand Entrance Way...Now, don't get me wrong "We" like "Her"...but she fusses over us much too much. In fact She and Lover Man joke, that I am #1 Fern and Felicia is number #3. How's that you ask? What happened to #2. I'll tell you what happened...b. Malin, MANAGED TO KILL HER"!
"Oh my God, Francine you know that's NOT TRUE"...
"Really? Then why did b. Malin Return #2 and buy Me? Mmmm"? That Woman is capable of returning just about ANYTHING...who returns a Plant that she helped to KILL"!
"Francine Please Calm Down or you'll get Sick...I can answer that...she didn't know much about Ferns and was only watering me and #2 every other day...and we had that HOT spell and #2 just wilted, and truthfully #2, hadn't been all that well when Ms. b. purchased us"...So you see, it really wasn't her fault".
"Oh Felicia, you Always make Excuses for her...Always"!
"No I don't Francine, but you need to be Fair in your Judgement, just look around you...what do you see? I'll tell you what you see, A Beautiful garden with lots of Happy Potted Plants...and Birds Singing"...And we get a cool refreshing drink twice a day. It must be watering time, I think I hear her filling the pitcher".
"You're right Felicia, she is filling the pitcher, and it sounds by the clinking of the spoon that she's mixing in some plant food...I could go for a little of that today"...My Beauty Drink".
"See Francine, she's not so bad...and she is kinda of pretty, don't you think"? With that pretty Blonde Hair and shapely figure...And Lover Man...He's always all over her".
"Don't get me started Felicia...That pretty blonde hair needs a touch up, I saw her roots...and who knows if "Lover Man" can still get it up"...
"OMG Francine, that's terrible...and Trust Me, I'm closer to their Bedroom Window than you are, and the name "Lover Man" was a very, very, Good Choice...Now say good by to this interview, and let's enjoy the rest of the Season".
"Good-bye from Francine". "Your Turn Felicia".
"Good-bye" from Felicia..." And We both wish You All a Happy Summer".