THE HOLLYWOOD SHUFFLE - Charlie Sheen

I have been compared to this actress and many who look like this...in the business they call it "exotic." ha...NOT the girl next door.....
I have been compared to this actress and many who look like this...in the business they call it "exotic." ha...NOT the girl next door.....
I had many of these in the day...cards that say "BUY ME!"
I had many of these in the day...cards that say "BUY ME!"
This is before the drugs took their toll.....
This is before the drugs took their toll.....
CHRIS PENN around the time I dated him.....
CHRIS PENN around the time I dated him.....

The Business, Fame & Charlie Sheen...Looking back

It still amazes me looking back many years ago when I was shuffling to one audition after the next and trying to make my way to a career as an actress. I have many entertaining memories as well as some that are not so funny. Like a few "Casting couch" experiences with some really horrible people pretending to be someone they weren't. Then there was that time I knew that I lost a commercial when I saw my competition go in the office with the casting director. You would ask me "what is the big deal?" And I will tell you that when she came out her skirt was inside out and unzipped and she was fixing her buttons. Her hair was also a mess and when she looked at me with a smirk on her face, I just picked up my bag and left.

I started out in the business at a fairly young age by performing in dance recitals on stage and also on television and then I moved onto commercial auditions and became a model for Vidal Sassoon and a few other promotional businesess. My modeling career was short lived based on my own decisions like when I decided not to go abroad with Cindy Crawford and Christi Turlington because my father was elderly and I could not leave him. I was also in a serious relationship at the time. I eventually performed in dancing shows on television, in music videos, in commercials (A&W Root Beer & Lifesavers), films (mostly independent & foreign) and eventually on a few network television shows. So I guess I can say I was pretty successful by the time I was in my early to mid 20's. I was the lead girl in a well known music video of a hit band at the time. I remember they paid me about $2,000 and this was in the 80's for a one day shoot! I was eventually on a hit television show (I was a co-star and only appeared on it for two seasons but the show was HUGE) in the 80's and after a few years of going back and forth to a different country and watching my first marriage fall apart, I just decided to throw in the towel. I don't know why I felt like that but I do know when "the click" happened. I was getting an award and it was presented to me by Bob Hope on television and after I thanked everyone I got on a plane and decided to never audition again. I did go on a few commercial auditions to please my agent a few years later, but for the most part I was "done."

I guess this whole Charlie Sheen episode sort of brought things back for me. I met him many years ago and knew the "Malibu crew" well since I grew up nearby and we were around the same age. I also dated Sean Penn's younger brother Chris in college who died a while ago (some say it was drug related). I guess you would sort of say that I was in the same sort of "shuffle" as them. Growing up in the business or around it, a parent who was successful in the music industry and lots of Hollywood parties in one of the wealthiest parts of Los Angeles. This in itself is a mix for disaster and I was lucky that I always kept my head on straight. I think the first time I met Charlie Sheen, he was a teenager and already had a kid or two. This was way before the one's you see in the press.

When I see him acting out in the media I totally understand "why." Sure he has had a major drug problem. Sure he likes lots of hookers, but the main point is that he just "exploded" and the pressure got to him. I know why he exploded cause I felt it even at the level I was at which is not even close to his success now. I was "playing a role" for everyone else. Trying to be something I was not and all I ever wanted was to be loved. I saw Johnny Depp go through the same sort of chaos at one time and I also saw how he dealt with it. He is fortunate to get roles now that fit who he really is..."a free spirit." Somehow he was able to make the transition and this has let him live the life that he needs to live. He can disappear when he wants too and live a sort of normal existence. I believe that this is no longer possible for Charlie Sheen. He needs to retreat and get away from the business right now before it is too late.

My main point is this. I knew so many actors and actresses that just wanted to be famous for the attention and the money. At one point I had the same agent as Julia Roberts (I was up for her role in Mystic Pizza) and also another agent who represented Mariska Hargitay. We were all up for the same roles, but some were luckier then others and from what I finally realize now....."really wanted it more then life itself." I never did. All I wanted was to make a living and be loved and one day I woke up and said "who needs all this FAKE everything?" They had something that I did not have....THEY REALLY WANTED IT AND THEY WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET IT.

So, here I sit creating my own sort of career where I can still have a normal life and tap into parts of the entertainment industry when I feel like it. I saw what fame does and I'm not willing to EVER give up the private life that I have with my family. I saw this firsthand when I was once married to a famous celebrity's son. This industry is like a chess game and you have to know when to make your move. I'm not sure anyone can achieve fame and have a totally peaceful life because I have seen otherwise. I do think that there are a few that have been able to do it and they have succeeded but if you look at the stats and how many people lose it along the way...it seems less and less possible.

My goal is to achieve success, perform once in a while, support good causes that actually make a difference and do projects that change peoples lives. Maybe that is actually what Charlie Sheen wanted to do "way back when?" He was willing to take the gamble for the money instead of happiness and got greedy. Maybe it just got to be "too much."

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Comments 23 comments

IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 5 years ago from Hawaii

You are an amazing woman/person G! I have such respect fot you for making difficult, but, very wise choices. You can speak with authority on the pitfalls of stardom because you experienced it firsthand. One of your best, and i will share it with pride.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Thanx IV! I really appreciate your comment. This whole Charlie Sheen episode got me a bit down. Just brought back so many memories.....And ofcourse I missed others who never really made it through the chaos....SO, thank you so much for being here and supporting my writing......G


coachb51 profile image

coachb51 5 years ago from West Point, MS

I love Charlie and two and half men. They need to work this thing out.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Coach. Thanx for stopping in. I haven't seen the show but hope the chaos stops and all can move on. GPAGE


LilianEden profile image

LilianEden 5 years ago

Great hub G! I'm also looking at those who have come from a family who supports them. To some, this has made a difference and getting lost in the shuffle was avoided. I remember what Brandy (singer) had said. She said she is Brandy out there, but at home she still has to take the garbage out. That's humbling. I took that with me too.

Anyway, great heart felt hub G! XXXXoo L


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Flipping through the 'latest' GPAGE in an impulse I stopped on your Hub; very glad this happened. It didn't take long to realize you are a remarkable person. I would never mean to offend someones beliefs but 'what if' we were all essentially spiritual and ether here to learn in this life or many on our way back to love. With this Hub alone you have won me as a fan. As an aside, to punctuate some of what you were writing about: on a whim I auditioned for a bit part in the 'Patriot' with Gibson.In a couple weeks got a call from casting saying the director was seriously considering me for 'Lafayette'; he said don't cut your hair etc. Waited a month after being on pins and called them back. Their reply? Oh, the director decided not to use that character. Well, the lest they could have done is let me know. Lesson learned. Thank you GPAGE.


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Hey LB! Yes. Support from family makes a big difference. Let's hope there are less casualties in the future. From what I see, it does not look like it can be avoided. There are far too many enablers around successful people. I see it all the time. YES men is what I call it. Love ya x


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Alastar. Your comment is very much appreciated and I'm so glad you found me and enjoyed my hub! Actually your voice in your comment came across really clear. We have all had those experiences in the business. Waiting. Waiting. Promises. Nothing. There is a lot of "nothing" in the entertainment business. I was at a live taping of a very popular sitcom last night. After meeting the lead character I saw yet another "Hollywood casualty." He is well on his way. I just knew. Sad really. I have seen it so many times. So with that I will say "thank you" for being here. Best, GPAGE


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

Sorry, my friend. I am late to know this hub. I thought you are great producer. I hope you always success in film industry and your company always growing. My pray always for you. God bless you. Cheers...

Prasetio,


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

prasetio! Sorry I have not been around here lately! So busy with my other career right now! Thank you always for being here and sending me such positive blessings! Always, G


DrMikeFitzpatrick profile image

DrMikeFitzpatrick 5 years ago from Sandpoint, Idaho

Thanks for your vulnerable honesty! What Charlie is "suffering from" is simple. You hinted at it too-he does not feel loved by his dad. Period. Alcoholism/drug addiction is NOT the "disease" everyone thinks it is. I have survived myself through similar issues Charlies faces. We not only all need love, we have it-recognizing what form it is in is the trick. Love is all that there is, when you see "the other side". Most confuse infatuation with love as well. Helping Charlie would be a simple fix with one serious session when he is willing. We shall see how smart this tiger blood boy is? Thanks again for your input! Dr. Mike


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Hello Dr. Mike!...thanx for being here and leaving your comment! I agree with you but I'm a strong believer in people "taking the help" which Charlie refuses to do.....SO, not a good idea when it comes to living a happy and "chaos free" life. Everyone can see that CHAOS is something Charlie seems to thrive in! I do hope he finds love and inner peace one day....but it seems he listened to all the wrong people (including the voices in his head). I have seen many like him crumble and fall. They never get up. EVER. Best, GPAGE


Dr. Mike 5 years ago

In the end, the creator made Charlie Sheen, and Charlie is doing CS, perfectly, he cannot mess it up-as you will continue to do YOU perfectly. :)best to you too


viryabo profile image

viryabo 5 years ago

Fame and being in the limelight has destroyed not a few people, and like you rightly said, some really wanted that fame so badly, and were prepared to do ANYTHING to get it.

Sometimes, the price of fame is costly, but with a focused mind and a lot of love from those around (without the sycophancy from fair weather people), it's not too hard to escape the common pitfalls of the famous.

Its a great thing you didn't get lost in it all, and from the bit i know of you from your writings, you are an achiever, one with a lot of love and compassion, with her head firmly screwed on.

Blessings my friend.


DrMikeFitzpatrick profile image

DrMikeFitzpatrick 5 years ago from Sandpoint, Idaho

if all matter cannot be created or destroyed, they can only change form-all there IS, is transformation. no destruction for anyone, those are your values projected on others. :)


Ask Your Mama profile image

Ask Your Mama 5 years ago

G,

Very nice!Sorry I missed it all this time! Glad you kept your head on straight, and chose to go after what you really wanted. I personally watched said "HUGE" show for one of the costars, and when you joined the cast, I was very happy for you. I am glad you threw in the towel on the BS, and not the performing. Ya never know... You could find yourself helping an old friend produce a film, and being persuaded (With many Iced Coffees) to take a role in said film. Ya neva know...

Love ya, G!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

viryabo! So nice to see you here....it seems that I have not been on hubpages that much in the last few months. Sometimes life throws curveballs and I have had quite a few lately! Been working on a few cool projects and keeping positive! Thank you for your lovely words and I really appreciate your kindness. Best, G


Marc 5 years ago

You never cease to amaze me with your endless talents. NIce writing! Very well done, my friend!


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Dr. M! Thanks for dropping in again....Always nice to see you here! Best, GPAGE


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Hey C! You are the best! Thank you for your lovely words and encouragement!!!....Don't need any iced lattes! Just tell me where to be! ha..I would still perform in "real" projects.....Let's keep it real and the rest will come!!!! AMEN TO THAT!!!! I am producing that show and will have everyone together in late May (you included if you want to take part)....For a day of "shootin the breeze" and to see how it all flows....Will keep you posted!!!!!! Love ya!!! G


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Marc! So nice to see you here!! Thank you for your kind and loving words.

How about you writing a blog on dancing here? Hmmm?

Remember I mentioned you writing years ago? Well......this is a great place to start! G


Rick Baird profile image

Rick Baird 5 years ago from Three Rivers, Michigan

well written


GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 5 years ago from California Author

Thanks Rick for stopping by!! Best, GPAGE

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