LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER - What Comes Up Must Come Down
Crank It Up!
We have all had our own beginnings and God knows how hard some of us have had it. Especially our parents when situations and circumstances just "were." I used to say "these are the cards that I have been dealt," but what I was really saying is "we can only learn from our past and move forward in a better direction." Just because our beginnings were "rough" does not mean we can't change our future.
One of the best things my father taught me was "positive thinking." When things have gotten stressful in my life during huge life changes, I always thought about they way he looked at life. If I would complain, he would say "who gives a %^& about people like that." Or he would remind me in my darkest hours, "This too shall pass." It always did. It may not have always gone the way I wanted it too but it went somewhere "better." Sometimes we need to look at the "little steps" and not just the top of the stairway.
You Can Change Your Future - People That Stay For Financial Reasons
Here is the secret concoction to give you a better life. Are you ready?! Here it is. Drum roll please. DO NOT LIVE A LIE. Wow! Now THAT was difficult!
I'm sure you know many people like that. The one's that refuse to change their lives. Most stay for financial gain. Too weak to take responsibility for their feelings and abandonment by their emotionally crippled partner or family. I know quite a few younger women who fit this bill. They marry into money and pick a much older guy who is also a sort of father figure. The guy picks someone to make him look good or a victim of an abusive past. Voila! Perfect match! Right? I mean who else would put up with such an a hole? Then they have children with them and their sex life dies. Shocking! The young women stay in for the money and a "false self worth." Basically they think they are something they are not. Have a tiny house but pretend in their mind that they are "privileged" because of family money they married into. I saw this so many times in the past years and still do. Sad really.
The other sad part is that these women do not realize how abusive their partner is because they abuse their children behind her back. I have witnessed this! It is shocking! The older doofus is also annoying to be around and no one likes him. But he thinks he is popular because of family history and makes stupid jokes to make up for his failures in life. After all he is living a lie. His jokes are always some sort of a "put down" and he is so odd looking and socially crippled, it is sad really.
The other sad part is that the children suffer in the long run. The emotional ties are lost through the struggle in the relationship and the children become just like the father. Academic goals with many life failures. Crippled socially in every way.
Instead of changing things, the young wounded spouse lashes out at anyone close to them. They find a way to be angry at anyone who does not enable their situation. This happened to me recently. My daughter no longer likes a friends child and she has no want or need to spend time with him. My daughter has since told me that everyone in her class thinks this boy is gay. Now, let me say this is a bold statement coming from a young girl, but this is what kids talk about now! If you don't like it, blame the television show "Glee."
Anyway, so the young sorry lass can't leave and she has no money so she blames everyone else for her situation even though she picked it. I think there is a saying that most people live to the age of 25, but it takes another 50 years for them to be buried?! Or how about this one "Misery loves company." If you are a happy person and you have made life changes to better your future and you are no longer living a lie, the poor little wifey can not deal with being around you. And one more for the books! "If you marry for money, you pay for it."
The abandoned young spouse gravitates towards others who have worse problems. I guess I'm too happy for these sort of people. But I will have to say, they got a lot of free therapy from me! So I will just take it as another "good deed" in my life! Better to help then not help at all! Maybe one day they will wake up before it is too late. Not many do.
I really hope that a few young women I know make a change and live a life of "truth" sooner then later. Especially one who is really hurting and who thinks if she hangs in there long enough, she will have an easy life. I really feel sorry for her because her life right now could be much better. One thing is for sure. She could find a really good guy that is not such an "a hole!" And someone who actually wants to make her feel loved.
Losing And Winning
You are probably wondering why I put the word "losing" first. Well these days there seems to be a lot more "loss" then gain. Especially in this economy. I have been on this financial roller coaster quite a few times since I have made most of my living in the entertainment business. I guess you would describe it best with just a few words. "Feast or famine." I owned million dollar homes when I was in my early 20's. I have been developing real estate since my early 30's and everyone I know that was doing the same thing eventually lost. I'm not going to bore you with stats and facts, but the point is that if "#$%^ hits the fan" then find a way to better your life and do whatever it takes. Even if you have to move from your situation and work a few jobs to get back up again. I on the other hand decided to "switch gears" and work towards a different career that I actually enjoy! Things are really looking up right now! But it is because I did the work and I made the changes that had to be made to make my life better in so many ways.
Ofcourse it always helps to have a very supportive circle of friends and family around. I am truly blessed with amazing friends and family members. Most of the one's that get "stuck" in their toxic situation have alienated themselves from any family and friends that can help bail them out. So they can't leave! Even if they want too. We will not also mention that usually the culprit that they want to leave is a "control freak" and helped this person alienate themselves to keep them in a little cage. Master manipulator is his name. What a good little birdie you are!!!
This can be a spouse or a family member! They all have the same traits. This is how they alienate you. They talk "negatively" about everyone you come close too. This ensures that you slowly let go of your life raft. It gets harder to see out of the dark. You may as well wear a t-shirt that says "I'm the property of." Because to others on the outside, this is what you look like. A slave to a dude with bad taste in everything!
So even if you lose or think you have lost, move on PRONTO.
Get On The Roller Coaster
Listen, get on! Don't think about it and forget the money or you will pay later. Your kids are already suffering. It shows and NO they are not really smart, they are just screwed up.
If you are someone who is trying to escape a family member, get help from a dear friend and move on. An abusive, controlling relative can ruin any positive future blessings for you. Get out of the dark and walk towards the light! You will be happy you did.
Jump on the roller coaster and don't look down. It will not be as scary as you think it is. Slowly you will come to the place where you can relax. I promise you. It just takes time.
Hub Pages Author - GPAGE
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