THE WOMEN'S CLUB...by b. Malin

To join or not to join, that is the question that plagues my mind as I listen to the minutes being read. It's so Early, oh so very Early and my mind is thinking "Bed, Glorious Bed, Dear Bed, why, oh why am I here"?

I'll tell you WHY I am here...Because back at the Condo, on the Terrace, the Workmen are Banging, and BANGING and DRILLING...And I have the urge to be KILLING, and so I am here to escape from the NOISE, and my urges. I could see the headlines, as well as the News reports, "Woman throws 2 workmen off her Terrace, and then goes back to bed"... I hadn't needed an ALARM to get me here...Oh no, they served as my "Alarm"...Now, wasn't that dear?

Coffee and Pastries are now being served at The Women's Club. I help myself to some as I listen to the "Chatter" of the other Women talking. The President Bangs her gravel and the meeting begins...Old Business, New Business, Minutes are read. Comments are made..."Suggestions" now become the Topic. I raise my hand and am called upon. I suggest "Solar Lights" for some of the Palm Trees. I am told they already spent money on 400 feet of Electric lights. "Oh, I say, well I have them on my backyard tree, in New Jersey". I shrug, as I say, "you've got the Sunshine here, year round. Those Solars would always be lit up at night". They will think about it. As they silently look upon me as the "Seasonal Person"...Or "Snow Bird".

Well at least no one has called me a "Snow Bird"...which I am now picturing in my mind as a Big White Bird, wearing Long John's and White Boots, flapping my wings and Flying. Of course landing gracefully as I discard my winter attire, for shorts and a halter top, upon arrival. But in reality, Lover Man and I drove in my trusty Silver PT cruiser, packed to the gills, like a stuffed Fish! His car, safe and sound in our garage back home.

I buy a "Raffle Ticket" and pay for a Friday night "Cocktail Party" at the Club House. The Theme is the "Boat Parade" on the InterCostal Waterway. The Boats will be decorated with a Holiday Theme. It sounds lovely. I don't win anything with my Raffle Ticket, but it was for a "Good Cause", though I never found out what it was.

Now the meeting turns to talk about the "Men's Club" and their Horrible President, Bob, who is always belittling the "Women's Club". He won't let them do a thing without his approval, even as small as hanging a Picture in the Ladies Room. "Huh" I think, this cannot be. They need ME, they really need ME...And so, I have made my decision... I pay my dues, and become a Member of the Women's Club! I am welcomed warmly.

I smile around the room as I am being officially introduced, and I think to myself, your "Bullying Days" are OVER President Bob, Oh they are so very over. And as I am thinking this, who comes walking through the door to meet the New Ladies of the Women's Club? Yes, it's President Bob, of the Men's Club, who comes over to shake my hand. I smile sweetly as I think to myself, I am so going to be in your FACE...President Bob...b. Malin is here!