THEM CRITTERS!

(blogs.amctv.com)
(blogs.amctv.com)

By: Wayne Brown

 

This world is full of pesky varmints which bring one fright

They’ll make you pull your hair and stay up late at night

But some of the worst critters that can enter into your sight

Are those pesky little rats, lawyers, skunks, and termites

 

Rats are big and ugly, gray long-tailed furry beasts

Stealing into your house and on your stuff to feast

Little vermin and one of the most unpleasing sights

Just like those little pesky lawyers, skunks, and termites

 

Skunks are furry innocent-looking black and white critters

They multiply like rabbits and are usually born in litters

And when they unleash that stink; it’s a permanent delight

Just like those little pesky rats, lawyers, and termites

 

Termites are stealthy little creatures burrowing in the house

They’ll eat out all the wood planks; do it quiet as a mouse

But you’ll see where they are when they eat through the foyers

Then it’s time to dispose of them like the rats, skunks, and lawyers

 

Lawyers are a hardy breed counted as many needed by few

Guess they keep them around for there are things a rat won’t do

Use his services just a little bit and his bill will be out of sight

No wonder he is among the ranks of the rats, skunks, and termites

 

So keep your eyes peeled America, these critters are all around

You cannot avoid their contact for they live in every town

Aim well; make your first shot count when they are in your sights

Those pesky little critters; rats, skunks, lawyers, and termites.

 

 

© Copyright WBrown2011. All Rights Reserved.

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Comments 21 comments

dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

And they have in-filtered the government, I think.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

I did not think a skunk, rat and termite could be insulted. I have been proven wrong, again.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Wayne, darlin', you really have to stop being so timid and reticent. Try telling us how you REALLY feel! ;-) THIS was great! Funny and up and...well, just great!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@dahoglund...Oh, DA...the government would be what Terminex would describe as "fully involved!" Thanks much! WB

@mckbirdbks...LOL!...That's a good one! I can tell by my score there are lawyers here too! They're everywhere, everywhere! LOL! WB

@Motown2Chitown...Yes, this was a backlash I suffered while writing the hub "Rear-Ended!". Thanks for the good words! WB


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

I'm more afraid of skunks, rats and termites!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

You are a marked man now, Wayne. I heard the ABA is out to get you. Ifn you see any hit men around, run the other way.


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Very funny . . . and in rhyme to boot! Saw this one coming from Rear Ended. Of course you know, there are a few good lawyers out there (think few good men commercials - is that for the army? navy?). Pity that a few bad apples have ruined the reputation for others.


Ghost32 5 years ago

It's for the Marines, Sally.

This is one of your best, Wayne--which is saying something. Probably shouldn't mention that I once seriously considered going to law school. Thankfully, the fever broke after about a week.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@breakfastpop...What about all those lawyers in Washington, Poppy...they don't scare you just a little bit??? LOL! WB

@drbj...The hate mail will be rolling in soon, Doc. It's too much to hope for that lawyers would not be here on the Hub. I'll probably have to move into that den of skunks out back to avoid harm! LOL! WB

@Truckstop Sally...Yes, this rant was set off by that Hub. I initially thought of tossing it, then the "Lil' Stinker" came out in me and I thought "what the hell!" WB

@Ghost32...Aw gee Fred, I found a tender spot with you...hope there were no tears shed for all the good memories these pests left with you. Are you still making payments??? LOL! WB


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

Hilarious, dude! A great read.


mslizzee profile image

mslizzee 5 years ago from Buncombe County, NC

Arn't most of our congressmen and congresswomen lawyers????? That explains a lot.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Wow, I don't know what to say. I could hardly sit still while reading anxious to see the next line. Loved it!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@Stan Fletcher...Glad you liked it! WB

@mslizee...You are so right about that...now you are starting to grasp the conception of "infestation"! LOL! WB

@Cardisa...Glad that it was that much fun for you! Hope you aren't planning a career in law! LOL! WB


Radioguy profile image

Radioguy 5 years ago from Maine

Good stuff and quite the collection of Crispy Critters!

And I loved the video!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@Radioguy...I guess I won't be going to law school if they require a background check! LOL! Thanks much! WB


Amy Becherer profile image

Amy Becherer 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Well, the rats, skunks and termites have one redeeming quality absent in the lawyers...critters are never maliciously evil.

Fantastic poetic quality...i love the beat and the meat of the matter.


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@Amy Becherer....You are so right, too funny! LOL! Thanks for those fine words of encouragement! WB


maven101 profile image

maven101 5 years ago from Northern Arizona

Wayne...Your poetry flows like a sparkling creek snaking through Hubland...Very natural and free, with a thumping beat and rhythm...Voted up and funny...Thanks, Larry


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@maven101...Well, I'll admit there is only so much you can say about rats, skunks, and termites. But mix a lawyer in with them and now you got yourself a vocabulary going that will raise poetry to an all time high! LOL! Thanks much, Larry! WB


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 5 years ago from Bishop, Ca

As my mother used to say, "Hardeehaha!"

She adored jokes like this since she was married to a lawyer!


Wayne Brown profile image

Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas Author

@lorlie6...Everybody loves a good lawyer joke...except maybe the lawyers! LOL! WB

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