THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, SHARYN...by b. Malin

"Sharyn's  Slant". A Wonderful Writer here on Hub Pages.
"Sharyn's Slant". A Wonderful Writer here on Hub Pages.

HOPE I MAKE YOU LAUGH...

A few days ago Sharyn, who also writes on Hub Pages, under the name of "Sharyn's Slant" and is Enjoyed by many of us here, came onto my Hub, "LOSING YOUR HEAD". She left me the following Comments.

Sharyn's Slant - You know B. you could take a trip to the "Bathroom" and make a Super Story out of it.:) Seriously, this Hub was very Enjoyable. Thanks for the Giggles.

b. Malin - Funny you should say that Sharyn, because I did have a "Bathroom Trip" while out shopping the other day that could be my Next Hub!

So dear Hubber Friend Sharyn, this one's for you, and the Coincidence of the Moment... And Your Fun thoughts... The following happened to me the other day. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Lover Man and I are shopping in a well known Retail Store here in Sunny Florida. We are looking for "things" to buy for the "Condo With the View". Which we haven't yet "Closed On". But are hoping for an early Closing...like hopefully next week. So, what are we buying? Things for the Kitchen, like dishes, glasses, silverware...NECESSITIES! I had told my sister I wasn't buying Anything until after The Closing. I said during our last phone conversation, that I was superstitious. I said, "remember how when we were pregnant many, many, Moons ago...we never brought anything into the house until after the baby came"? She said, "I knew you'd say that".

Anyway, so there we are shopping away, when I announced to Lover Man, "I have to go to the Bathroom". He replies, "Of course you do...and actually I do too". So we decided to take turns, because we didn't want to leave the shopping cart filled with all our Treasures. I say, "You go first, because you're quicker". He smiles a knowing smile as he turns to leave. He goes and comes back, and now it is MY turn. I don't know what it is about Women and shopping and having to go...

I enter the Ladies Room and find I have it all to myself. I select the Stall that has it's own Sink and Mirror...Ok, ok, I know, it's the "Handicapped Stall"...but it's so Nice, and I'm going to be quick! DON'T JUDGE...and if you're Honest, you'll admit to doing it too, occasionally. So I settle in.

Suddenly the Ladies Room door swings open and in comes a Woman, who is TALKING LOUDLY on her Cell Phone.

Her Conversation: "Wait Ceil, I'll put you on SPEAKER PHONE, I'm in the Ladies Room at "H---G----." I hear her go to the first stall where she announces, "There's no paper in the stall, wait Ceil, I'm taking you to the next Stall". And she precedes to do so. That STALL is right next to mine!

"Ok Ceil, I'm settled in, can you hear me"? Ceil, replies that she can. They go on to have a Conversation about this Friend of theirs who is dating a new man...her husband has been dead close to a year now, and she's gone through a few LOSERS, but this could be "THE ONE". "Listen Fran, (Ceil is talking) Doris wants us to join her at the movie theater to see that "Horse Movie" oh, what's it called...Neither one knows, but I do, do I join this Conversation and tell them? Or do I just sit here quietly...saying Nothing, I Flush, and wash and dry my hands, and then run my comb through my hair and smile into the mirror, before I exit my stall.

Ceil and Fran are still talking away..."We'll meet Doris at four in front of the theater, it's really supposed to be a good movie, I think Stephan Spielberg directed it...isn't that silly I can't remember the name".

I'm about to open the Ladies Room door and enter the world once again, when I turn and say, "War Horse, the name of the movie is "War Horse."

In Unison, they both yell, "Thank You"!





Comments 63 comments

Sunnie Day 4 years ago

OMG!!! This is the funniest thing I have read in a while...You are hallarious...The things we can hear whle sitting in the stalls...Very funny as it made me laugh out loud, Useful as we should be careful what we say, interesting as the story is top notch!

Sunnie


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

OH B, this is hysterical! See, I WAS RIGHT. You absolutely made a trip to the bathroom a "piece of art." You crack me up.

I was sitting here, quiet, calm, updating my hub about how much money I DO NOT make on HubPages, feeling a lil blah. Then I saw this and literally LOL'd. Thank you, I needed that!

BTW, I like those "big stalls" too. Why not. More room! And besides, I'm handicapped in lots of ways, ha.

Sending BIG HUGS,

Sharyn


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 4 years ago from South Carolina

Oh this was so funny and I love that you dedicated it to Sharyn.

Loved this very realistic, yet comical public restroom tale, especially the ending!!

Voted up, funny, awesome and interesting.


Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

lol... this was funny. I guess we are all guilty of using the handicap stall in the ladies bathroom, good thing we don't get ticketed for it. Thanks for sharing.


My Minds Eye53 profile image

My Minds Eye53 4 years ago from Tennessee

OMGosh, the bathroom stories I could tell! Very funny, voted up and becoming a follower.


dadibobs profile image

dadibobs 4 years ago from Manchester, England

A whole new insight into the ladies loo!

voted up lol


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Very funny. I am laughing now. Thank you, I needed that. I have had a few hospital visits where the restroom conversation was really interesting. You can find out so much, just by keeping your mouth shut.


marellen 4 years ago

I'm laughing out loud, that was priceless. Its amazing what you hear everywhere these days. thanks for the giggle....


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Sunnie, Thank you so much for the Comments. It really was a Funny scene in that Bathroom...and that Woman thought nothing of letting her Friend know exactly where she was talking to her from. I'm so Happy you Enjoyed, thanks for the Compliments!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Sharyn, so I've made you the "Star" of my story...After all you gave me the Idea and then IT HAPPENED...Pretty, Pretty, Funny! Loved your Comments, you Cracked me UP! Don't sweat the small stuff, not with your Talent!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Gail, Sharyn give me the Inspiration and then a few days later the Incident happened, so how Funny is that! What goes on in these public restrooms is a Hoot and I just had to tell it! Thanks so much for your Votes.

Hi Faithful daughter. We know it's wrong to use it...But no one was there, and I was determined to be Quick...Until this Woman and her Cell phone came along. Thanks for Enjoy and you Comments.


Vincent Moore 4 years ago

B this is so funny, with technology the way its going I won't be surprised if they devise a whole new concept of going to the bathroom?LoL When I was an over the road driver, the conversations I use to hear in the stalls next to mine where I was squatting, would make your hair curl on it's own.

Some of these truckers can sure speak a mean streak on their cels. And let me tell you B you would have to cover your ears most of the time. LoL


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

I am laughing at this one. You have such a great way of telling a story. I loved the ending and the way they both thanked you as if you were anywhere but the restroom. Lol.

I too am guilty of using those handicap stalls.

Voting up


Grace Whites profile image

Grace Whites 4 years ago from Manalapan, New Jersey, USA

Hello b. malin. You are a funny writer. I have enjoyed reading your hub. Keep on writing, it makes me laugh..Lol.


Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

You certainly did make a 'super' story out of it in wonderful b.Malin style! loved it, voted up and very funny!


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

I'm glad Sharyn enjoyed this as much as I did. Voting this Up and Funny.


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Voted up and all across!!!!!! This was awesome. Love this story. In fact, it could be a movie scene, literally. You are super comical, but I would like to point out that you are a great story teller. I could imagine it all going down in my head, not in a bad way of course:) But your a great writer. I really believe your life events could be dipicted in a comedy movie bound for success. Awesome job.


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

Hey, in the men's room, the big one is the only one with a dry seat. I see we have more than that in common. I think my next hub might be "Conversations on the bus".

Thanks, I needed that laugh!

I wish my wife called me Lover Man instead of Bonehead.


tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

This is terrific! It was wonderful for you to dedicated it to Sharyn. Sometimes the most hilarious stories come from the most unexpected places. Thanks for sharing this one. I loved it!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Funny story., Sometimes people who talk way too loud on their cells can be a source of amusement, rather than a pain in the tush! Up and funny.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Minds Eye, you wonder what comes over some Women in Public Rest Rooms...But they do make for Fun Hubs! Thanks for becoming a Follower, and your Vote. I've become a Follower of yours as well!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Thanks Dadlbobs, I'm sure the Men's Room holds many a Tale or two. Thanks for your Vote too!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

You're so right Becky, and I was tempted Not to say a Word, but that Movie was one I knew, so I broke my Silence! So glad you Enjoyed my Humor!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Marellen, so glad I made you Laugh, believe me when I was in this situation, it was all I could do NOT to LAUGH at LOUD!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Vincent, I'll bet you did hear some Hair Curling stuff! Mmm, would I get a get Hub write out of it...ONLY KIDDING! Thanks for your Fun Comments!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Those Handicap Stalls are SO NICE, with it's own private MIRROR & SINK, and of course Rosemay, we both know we'd NEVER use it if someone else was there! So glad I could make it Laugh!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Grace, thank you so much for the Compliments...isn't that what it's all about, knowing we've made someone Laugh, or Smile, or Learn a thing or two.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Movie Master, I'm so glad you Enjoyed my Style on this Hub write. Thanks for thinking it Funny and of course your Vote!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Alocsin, Sharyn was truly my Inspiration for this Hub write...and I think she did Enjoy being a part of my Introduction. Thanks once again for your Vote, and thinking my write Funny!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Yeah, Me and Woody Allen, he directing, and me writing...Now that would be my dream come true! Lyricwriter, you always know the Right things to say, Thank you for all your Wonderful Comments, and of course your Votes!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Conversations on the Bus, might be a good Hub to write WD Curry...So glad you had a Good Laugh with my Hub.

Hey, I'll be Honest, Lover Man is sometimes called Many, Many, other Names...but in the end, he's still my Guy!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Well if it weren't for Sharyn's Comments, and then this incident happening, it was like she predicted my next Hub...Scary, but FUN! I'm so Happy you Enjoyed Tipoague.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

So true Breakfastpops, it's like they don't know they are even talking LOUD! You gotta Love them...So glad you Enjoyed!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

LOL, Can't stop..This is so funny..I could see it all..HaHa..Only in a ladies restroom..Cheers..


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, so funny! I can imagine sitting there thinking, shall I say something or not? loved it!


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

A great story with a very funny ending, b. Malin! I've heard some interesting things in restrooms too - something about them seems to make people lose their inhibitions!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

It just goes to show, b., that being inspired by a bathroom muse is better than no muse at all. But take it easy from now on with your choice of stalls or the H.S.P. might get you. Handicapped Stall Police, that is.

Very funny, m'dear.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

So you really got the scoop. Ah, you invented a new word peesdropping. Ah, ok i'm out-a-here


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

You got that right "Always Exploring"...So glad you Enjoyed my Fun filled Hub!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I know, it was killing me, and so when the time came, I spoke! Thanks for Loving it, Nell.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Isn't that the Truth Alicaia...the things Women say and do, should never be under estimated! So glad you Enjoyed!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I know Drbj, but the Temptation to use that Special Stall out numbers the consequences! A confession I hate to make, but hey, NO ONE is PERFECT! Ha, Ha!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Wonderful Bathroom "Lingo" Mckbirdbks. Very Funny!


girltalksshop 4 years ago

lol! Isn't it funny what you can learn about a stranger just through eavesdropping on their cell conversations. You held out longer than I would have, announcing the name of the movie. : ) Great hub! Note: I think the reason women have to use the bathroom when shopping is this...we get too excited, getting into the task of it. ; )


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

That is too funny... and I am glad you announced the name of the movie... I was kind of wondering too. But then that brings up another question... Seriously, who does speaker phone if you are in the bathroom. I mean... if I use the potty in the bathroom i try to avoid the other person knowing! LOL Great and funny hub!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Ohmy gosh- that's hysterical!I swear I have had moments just like that - I know the answer but I don't know the people so I guess it would be presumptuous to pop into the conversation, wouldn't it? Yes so I do it! Lol.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I don't think I was Eavesdropping since her whole conversation was on Speaker Phone. But I know what you mean Girltalksshop...As for the movie, well I just wanted to Exit before she finished...so that's why I waited to tell them! So glad you Enjoyed.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

That's what I thought exactly Barbergirl, this is a First, a Speaker Phone conversation in a Public Bathroom! This Woman actually announced that Fact to her friend. So glad you could see the Humor, it was a fun write!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I just wanted to tell them, but on my Terms, when I was LEAVING...and when they Yelled Thank you, I almost Laughed! Women are so much Fun, Anywhere...don't you think? Thanks for your thoughts, RealHousewife.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Just stopping in B. to tell you that I have continued to enjoy all the comments too! I can't help but wonder if Ceil and Fran enjoyed the movie? Could you just hear them later "yeah, so I had her on speakerphone when I was in the bathroom and there was this woman, I never saw her, but . . ."


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hey Sharyn the Comments are Fun to read, everyone has an opinion. You know you got me thinking again, maybe she's also on Hub Pages, and I'll become her HUB! Ha, Ha! She really could have the last LAUGH! LOL.


Cheryl Kapelner-Champ 4 years ago

Very cute, & oh so very real. Nice back & forth w/the chatting ladies on the cell.

LoL , & good luck w/ the Florida-condo-shopping, & upcoming closing.

Cher


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Hilarious stuff! Men are usually silent. We enter, we go, and we leave.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Thanks Cher, and parts were Real...sometimes you just can't make these things up! Thanks for your well wishes and for stopping by. Sorry you weren't able to connect with us, it would have been nice.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

And that's what separates us Will, Women NEVER stop talking...Doesn't matter where, or when. So glad you got a Good Laugh!


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Speak for yourself, my family complains that I don't talk. Can't stand to be on the phone for more than a minute.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Well Ok Becky, you are RIGHT, I have many Friends who feel as you do too! Thanks for your Comments!


TIMETRAVELER2 profile image

TIMETRAVELER2 4 years ago

This is SO funny. Loved it. Thanks for the laugh...I always enjoy your stuff!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi TimeTraveler2, Thanks so much for Laughing and Enjoying, it means a lot to my "Creative Brain"! Ha, Ha.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 4 years ago from Chicago

That is very funny. Thanks for sharing this story. It made me smile. :D


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

So Glad you Enjoyed James, and that I my Hub made you Smile (;


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Late for the 'P'-party but I saw Sharyn's name and had to check this out... I might have known it would be piss-terical!

I was reminded of that 'Elaine' episode on Seinfeld in the lady's room 'when Jerry's girlfriend didn't have a square to spare' in the next stall.

You have a fabulous gift for humorous writing-- love your style, girlfriend! Voted UP & FAB. Hugs, mar.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Marcoujor, Sharyn is Fun and Humorous and so I knew she'd get a Kick out of this Hub I too remember that Seinfeld Episode...I always loved the writings of Jerry & Larry David, as well as Woody Allen's. I Love Dry, Wit, Humor!

Thanks so much for your Compliments Girlfriend, they are So Appreciated!

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