TIME IS ON MY SIDE...by b. Malin

Yes, it Is!

I find the older I get "Time" has taken on a different meaning, even though there never seems to be enough of it. I find my "Thoughts" on Life have changed...I've learned to Laugh at myself. For example, let me tell you a few things that have happened to me along the way...

I remember wen I was Nineteen, and Pregnant with my first Child, and living in the "Bronx, N.Y." My Westchester girlfriends were Horrified..."The BRONX, ugh, where is that? Do they speak English there? Are there any good Places to Eat...and where do you shop"? They would ask, when I spoke to them on the phone. Yes, I guess you could say they were SNOBS. But having married a guy from The Bronx, that's where I was temporarily living. But that's not what this story is really all about. It's about me and growing through the years. Ok, so on with the story.

My Mother-in-law, who happened to live in the same Neighborhood, yes, yes, I know what you're thinking, too close for comfort...and yes, it was... and eventually we moved. Anyway, she advised me to buy all my meats at the "Butcher Store", where Poultry was Pure...As a young bride, I was into listening to her, and so I faithfully went to her Butcher. Well EVERY TIME that he would wait on me, in fact, he seemed to always be the one to wait on me, he'd say, smiling down at me from the counter top, "What can I get for you today MISS"? "MISS! MISS"? I was EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT...It was June, I wasn't wearing a Coat that could HIDE ME. I was BIG, and PREGNANT- LOOKING, and Embarrassed! Did he think that I was an UNWED Mother? Now as a Middle aged woman, when someone says, "Miss, may I help you"? I smile. But back then, I was going to be a Mother, and I wanted to look the part...and it wasn't Funny to me.

While I'm on the subject of the Butcher encounter...What do you think this Butcher's name was? Are you ready for this...and NO, I'm NOT making it up...His name was "Herbie Hen"! That's right, his name was printed on the sign above his shop, with a Picture of a Hen named Herbie. "Herbie Hen's Butcher Shop" and below the sign it read, "When you're thinking Meats & Chickens, Herbie Hen is your Man". Today, I am able to look back at Laugh. And Yes, he did kind of remind me of a Chicken...he'd make that "Clucking" sound when he was cutting the meat, and especially the poultry...I always wondered what "Mrs. Hen" looked like, and did they have any "Chicks" I mean Children.

Here's another Ditty...I remember when I became President of My "Sisterhood" and had to give my first speech before the Congregation. I was a nervous wreck. So I went to the Rabbi and told him. He smiled gently and said, here's what he had been told. I waited breathlessly for his words of Wisdom. He cleared his throat and said, with a twinkle in his young eyes, for we were his First Congregation, "Picture them Naked", and then he walked away. By this time I was old enough to appreciate the Humor, and Yes, I took his advice, and gave a very Successful speech. Age has a way of giving us knowledge, what we do with it, is another story.

Progress and Me? I've still got a long way to go, before I completely stop sweating the small stuff. But I'm thinking I'm on the right track. After all, "Time, is on my side, oh yes it is"...Sing it EVERYONE...Now if I could just remember who sang that song...Anyone out there remember?

Comments 55 comments

Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Good hub, I am laughing with you. I felt the same way when I was very pregnant. It so embarrassed me to be called Miss. They could at least say ma'am. LOL!!! I did not remember who sang it so I Googled it. It was the Stones.

Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 4 years ago from South Carolina

Cute hub that made me chuckle and smile. Started singing the Rolling Stones tune before I began reading the hub. Always liked that song.

Voted up, funny and interesting.

daborn7 profile image

daborn7 4 years ago from California

I really enjoyed this read. It was well written and put together, flowed nicely and made me laugh. I too was pregnant at 19 so I can also relate to your story. The butcher shop bit was great. My mother in law also favors the butcher shops, she swears by them in fact. Says the meat at the stores is bad. Anyhow, great hub! Thanks so much for sharing. Voted up.

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Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Hello B,

Good morning! Such a cute hub. I can relate as I too was pregnant at 19. While I was a young bride, my husband left for training through my whole pregnancy. I felt strange walking around. I am sure I looked like a baby..pregnant and all. I remember getting hit on when sitting in the car until he saw I was pregnant. bugged eye'd he slowly pulled away.. I assured him I was a MRS! haha

Thanks for sharing,



billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Great hub, great song and isn't it wonderful to be able to laugh our way through life?

50 Caliber profile image

50 Caliber 4 years ago from Arizona

B. Malin, great write on our happy trail through life, everything seems to bring a light side to what once was a time of aggravation is now a badge on a good story,



breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

It was the Rolling Stones and time is definitely no longer on their side! When you finally learn how to stop sweating the small stuff, please write to me and tell me how.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Becky, you know after I said Publish, I say...OMG it was the "Rolling Stones"! But then I thought, let's see who else remembers, thanks for Goolging it. Loved your Comments, but "Ma'am"...I've never liked either...No Pleasing us WOMEN. So glad you Laughed along.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Gail, so glad you Enjoyed. The Rolling Stones have been around it seems, Forever, and truly one of my Favorite Groups...I'm growing OLD with them...My Favorite song was, "Satisfaction" Thanks so much for the Votes my Friend.

cleaner3 profile image

cleaner3 4 years ago from Pueblo, Colorado

Ahh the stones, Good ol Mick, one of my favorites, we must be around the same age.After all the speeches I have done I have seen many people naked, it works for me.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Daborn, Ah yes, Pregnant at 19, and deep down I Loved carry a Child. I'm so glad you could relate, and I gave you a Laugh or two. I've always wondered if "Herbie Hen's" Butcher shop is still there...Or is he now in the Great Butcher Shop up above...and does he sell to "You know who"...

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

You know Sunnie we could do a Hub survey, Pregnant at 19...Wonder how many Hubbers were?

Your comments are so Funny, you really should do a Hub on them...the things we remember and how it affected us then and what a Laugh they are now! Thanks for sharing as well!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Billybuc, I find with AGE, I can be a Laugh a minute...Life really is a Hoot, and just getting through the days with all the Rules, Regulations, etc., is really something to Write about...We can Never run out of Thoughts.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

How very True Dusty...where would we be without the Everyday Frustrations and throw in some Aggravations, and Big, bang, boom, there's a story to be told on Hub Pages. Thanks for all your Wonderful comments.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Breakfastpops...Thanks, I realized after I published this Hub. I guess I'll always have a soft spot for "The Rolling Stones" the so called "critics"...NEVER thought they'd last. As for sweating the small stuff...I'm still working on that myself...Day, by Day!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Clearner, MY Rebels, the "Rolling Stones" they have become "Timeless"...Not ageless, we're all aging, but hopefully having some Laughs along the way. Agreed, Naked always works!

A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

That is pretty good advice. Except where I work. When I give a speech or meeting it's mainly in front of women. You see the dangers...

drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Loved your funny recollections, b. I, too, had a mother-in-law who recommended her butcher shop. And I also heard the same advice before giving my first speech that cleaner mentioned: "Picture the members of the audience naked." I tried it only once. Couldn't stop laughing long enough to give the speech.

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

Hello, wonderful new hub. You should have shoved your left hand in his face to show you were married. None of his business, really.

I remember this Rolling Stones song. It's a great song.

Thanks for sharing more of your past.

Take care.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I can see the Dangers A.A...My speech was in Front of Both Men and Women, and It was kind of Interesting to imagine...My conclusion, some should stay dressed NO MATTER WHAT!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I know Drbj, some people did make me Laugh as I looked around the room, and like I said to A.A. some should always stay dressed...one has to be Selective whom they picture! I'm glad you Enjoyed the Humor of my Hub.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Flora, Thanks so much for stopping by and I will do the same. I enjoyed your Comments. Maybe you could come back under a different name...Just a thought.

always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

b. I know ' The Rolling Stones ' recorded that song, probably many more did too. I got a kick out of your story. Herbie Hen is precious. You couldn't make that up if you tried..HaHa I agree that we mellow with age. We don't sweat the little things, thank goodness...Take care..Smiles..

neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 4 years ago from new delhi

never having been pregnant did not quite relate to the situation but a butcher named HEN????

i bet he was a Ham!!

AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

Thanks for sharing your funny memories, b. Malin. I will certainly remember your interesting tip for making a speech with confidence! It might be very useful in the future. I'm confident when talking to my students, but much less so in other situations.

Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Herbie Hen... love it, I am guessing he stuffed his chickens with herbs Lol Great recipe title.

As for speeches, I used to shake from head to foot, even my buttock shook. Lol

Love that Stones song, Time is definitely on my side. Isn't it great that all these embarrassing situations now give us something to laugh about

tlpoague profile image

tlpoague 4 years ago from USA

This made me laugh as I thought about my youthful years. I was pregnant with my second child at 19. My cousins begged me to go to a derby racing car show. While we were there, I was hit on by three different guys in college. I was shocked standing there wide as a house with a kid on my hip. What were they thinking?...Great hub! Thanks!

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

I really enjoyed your recount of being pregnant and 19 as so was I. I was married also. This was a very entertaining hub that made me laugh.

mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Someone improved on 'don't sweating the small stuff', when they added, 'and it's all small stuff'. Very funny, humorous, light hearted. This is everything a hub titled "Time is on My Side" should be.

Movie Master profile image

Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

A great light hearted and funny read, it brightened my day thank you and voted up.

Best wishes Lesley

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Ruby, The Rolling Stones, I'm growing old with those guys...So many great Songs and they said they'd never last...so glad they did! I'm so glad you Enjoyed the tale of "Herbie Hen", he was such a character, which now I can look back and laugh about, But then, NO.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

You are too Funny Neeleshku...Yes, I'm sure "Herbie Hen" was a Ham at heart...and most men could NEVER be Pregnant, I doubt you guys could handle it!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Alicia, I've come along way since being given that "speech advice"...I find the older I get, I can handle things much better...I guess age does have it's advantages. So glad I gave you a Laugh or two.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I know Rosemay, our lives can be a "laugh" a minute, or at the least make for a Fun Hub. Hopefully if "Herbie Hen" is still alive and out there, he'd have a Cluck, I mean, Chuckle or two as well!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Tipoague, I guess some Guys are just into Pregnant Women! You are too Funny! I'm glad I made you Laugh, isn't that what Life is all about, or should be most of the time.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Pamela, it's fun to read, just from these Comments how many of us were such young mothers. I'm so glad you enjoyed my Humor!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Mckbirdbks, Don't we wish it were just all the Small stuff...But I'm so glad you Enjoyed, and thanks so much for your Wonderful Comments, they are so appreciated!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Lesley, You make my day with your Comments. Thanks so much for Enjoying and of course your Vote!

acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 4 years ago from Guildford

I so enjoyed reading this hub. What great memories for you.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Thanks acaetnna, now I can look back and these memories are Fun Hub reading...That's how I know I've grown mentally since those days. Thanks for Enjoying.

Flora Breen Robison 4 years ago

Got your message on wordpress. Are you bbmalin that just started and has one tweet only? I'm leaving you a message via twitter to confirm. If so, you need to request permission to follow me as I switched my account to private following last month. I didn't want just anyone reading my tweets.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Flora, yes, that's me on Twitter...b. Malin. I used my own picture that I use on my Facebook page. Actually I have 5 tweets... But I'm still confused by how to use Twitter to contact others.

writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Great hub for laughs. You really wrote this so well and I enjoyed reading it, so I'll be catching on your other hubs.

Thank you for following me and I'm going to following maybe to see herbie the Hen (Kidding), Joyce.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Joyce, so glad you Enjoyed and had some Laughs. Now I write about those times and I too can Laugh at myself, but then, so young, I could not.

I look forward to reading your Hubs and am so glad we found one another.

Felina Margetty profile image

Felina Margetty 4 years ago from New York, New York

You are seriously awesome. I love reading your stuff. Concise and direct. Cheers F.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Felina, Once again, Thank You. I try to be that way...and if I've made you Smile, or Laugh, well as one Writer to another, It makes me HAPPY!

marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

I dragged myself away from the cheese danish and "special" tea at the Cafe and have been giggling ever since, b. Malin. I love your spin on the zaniness of life!

And you can never go wrong with the Rolling Stones!

Voted UP & FAB. Hugs, mar.

alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

I'm with you -- as I get older, it becomes easier to cope with life's troubles with humor and laughter. You certainly amused me with this hub. Voting this Up and Funny.

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

I'm so glad you stopped by Marcoujor, after all, that Danish can get Fattening...Thanks for Enjoying my Spin on Life, and all its "Zaniness"...and my many Thanks as well, for your Votes. Hugs right back to you too!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Alocsin, I'm so glad I Amused you with my Hub...Getting Older can have its Benefits, and Choices...and Laughter can Enrich them.

Once again, I thank you for Voting UP and Funny my Friend.

KT Banks profile image

KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

Well, I want to do you the honor of leaving a comment, but everyone already said, well - every thing.

I like your wit and sense of humor too! :)

Look at us - A Texas girl and a New Yorker on the same wave-length! Ha Ha!

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi KT, we are Sister Writers. Actually I live in N.J. and am currently staying in Florida in our recently purchased "Condo with a View"...Lots of work, but it's worth it... and lots of Good, Funny Hub material to write about!

KT Banks profile image

KT Banks 4 years ago from Texas

Oh Wow! I dream of a place in Florida or a warm beach somewhere with light blue water, either to live there or visit frequently, like a second home. ...Some day!

Way to go, b.

Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

Isn't it funny how time puts many things in perspective and we can laugh about things that used to make us nervous or concerned. Getting older DOES have its benefits! Enjoy your sense of humor and the spirit in which this hub was written. Voted up, funny and beautiful! :)

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago Author

Hi Peggy,

Great Comments. I'm so Glad you Enjoyed. I think Women Enjoy this Benefit more than men do...and handle things much better. Thanks so much for your Thoughts and your Votes!

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