Transparent Heart

CLXVI.

Source



I am transparent –

Or I wish to be!

Pretending’s not my thing.

The harshest ache

Would be if I’m unclear.


Yet now I fear

That if transparency

Depends on

Being well perceived,

I have become opaque.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay




Let me tell it true -

I love you.

It’s clear to see;

I cannot deny it.

Though I be silent

You’ve only but to try it.


It needn’t burden you,

It’s for you if you seek it

Honestly, transparently;

You needn’t even speak it.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay

♥ ♥



I know not how

To fake feelings

I do not feel,

Nor hide the ones I feel.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



Let there be

No imitation!

There is

Real enough

To go around!


_____© Nellieanna H. Hay




I'm riding high

On this relation-ship,

Savoring every move,

Each bite and sip;

Letting go of landmarks

Where they no longer fit,

To better see the way,

The way which is itself -

Is IT!


______© Nellieanna H. Hay





Nana Mouskouri - Love Story

Source


Love has melted me,

And let me run downstream

To be dispersed and strewn

Upon her fathomless sea,

Below, above.


Oh! To regather once more

The fragments of myself

Into a mighty wave again

To splash against her shore ~

To revel in the love.


______© Nellieanna H. Hay



ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This material is protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission of Nellieanna H. Hay.

© 2013 Nellieanna Hay

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Comments 59 comments

dghbrh profile image

dghbrh 3 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

A poem with much depth and enjoyed every bit of it. The transparent hearts are where true love and passion resides. You need to love yourself to have a transparent heart. And i do believe that if one can not be true to own self then its not possible to love others with true heart. Hats off to you friend...awesome work with a strong message here. Votes up interesting, beautiful and sharing across.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Ahh love. Well expressed. thank you


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Deergha, thank you. We are in sync about several of the thoughts I was expressing here, that true love requires and open transparent heart, and the need to love oneself in order to have the capacity to love others. It matters not whether it is romantic love or platonic love or love of fellowman, if one is not OK with himself or herself, any other love suffers. Thank you for mentioning those things and for the votes, as well!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Martin. Thank you. I appreciate that. So glad you stopped by.


Anna Haven profile image

Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

Beautiful and insightful Nellieanna. Until we live as who we really are everything else is overshadowed by the illusion.

Your poetry is exceptional. My favourite here is the odourless rose; so cleverly written and so true!

A pleasure to read and much enjoyed :)


Jodah profile image

Jodah 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

"Love has melted me, and let me run downstream..." Is so perfect Nellieanna. All this poetry has its own special beauty though, in it's description of love.


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

Such beautiful expressions! Very soft and pure----True love indeed requires/ resides in a transparent heart.

Beautiful poem and nice pictures!


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 3 years ago from Central Florida

I love this, Nellieanna. Love should be transparent indeed!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

Love....where would I be without it? I hate to think.

Thank you for the beauty that you bring to the world. We need more of it.

bill


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

OH, yes, Anna. A person must be authentic and honest-with-self to enjoy all life's really quality experiences. Your words fit perfectly, that otherwise ‘everything else is overshadowed by the illusion’. It should seem self-evident, but it’s not the way we humans always perceive our immediate challenges, when it’s most difficult to think clearly or creatively. We can enter relationships unprepared & with illusory expectations and then we may feel vaguely inadequate when they don’t pan out, generating self-doubt, which is the worst possible atmosphere in which to see clearly and honestly who we really ARE and who and what others can be expected to be. But with those clarities, we can like and love ourselves regardless of what others contribute and if we find the ones who can respond honestly, too, (or are willing to do it together) we find genuine love. How much life is wasted on trying to “make” others fit and meet our expectations when we don’t even know how to meet our own expectations!

Yes, if we recognize the real rose is the one having its characteristics, we can avoid a lot of imitations and costly mistakes! ;-) Thank you for liking that one. It’s one of my most favorite which I wrote in 1972, having learned the truth the hard way.

Hugs and many thanks for your visit!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Jodah. Yes, love does tend to shake up our fixities and leave us melting and melted, in order to find our deeper selves capable of it.

I’m pleased you like my poetry! :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, ChitrangadaSharan. I’m delighted to meet you! I just visited your hub site and read your profile & your wonderful hub on caring for the eyes! So beneficial; something so vital to all of us, and, perhaps, to me especially, having been born with a serious eye defect and a life-long need to take the best care possible of my eyes. I truly prefer preventative, natural methods and you gave me many good suggestions which I’ll make sure to put into practice.

I so appreciate your visiting my hub and letting me know you like it! Thank you for the kind words!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Shauna, my friend - yes! What is love if it’s not transparent? Muddy, maybe? It can seem so! ;-)

I’m so very pleased you visited and commented! Thank you! Hugs.


James-wolve profile image

James-wolve 3 years ago from Morocco

Beautiful pieces of Art !

Why do we have to listen to our hearts? Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Billy. Yes, anyone with real love in his/her life knows how empty it would be without it! It can save, lift, help, encourage, build, and generally improve all the rest of one’s days! Sharing the beauty and joy of it is the least we can all try to do in return!

By the way, that crystal heart within a clear crystal heart is almost identical to one George gave me 33 years ago, except that my crystal heart is floating in a crystal ball. I guess it wasn’t yet a ‘done-deal’. ;-) I snapped a picture of mine to use but the lighting didn't do it justice, so I used this one.

Thank you for your welcome visit and comments!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Absolutely, James! We must consider practical things ‘to keep body and soul together’, as my Mother would say, but our hearts and what they value give us the quality, the real treasure of our awareness and the real meaning to our lives, and have the lasting value.

I’m so pleased you enjoyed my work here. It means much to me! Thank you.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa

Even while my transparency has made me the victim of a few assholes, I am still transparent. My heart is like a chrystal ball. It needs tears (of sadness) and hot fumes (of anger) to stay clear and transparent....

Beautiful poems, music and vibes in your corner, Nellianna :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

My precious Martie - Ah, I understand. May I say, though, that it’s not the transparency which lets a—holes in, it’s the filmy expectation that they’re also surely going to be clear, honest and transparent - which, as the "Porgy & Bess" song goes, "Ain't Necessarily So".

But its a common pitfall of being a trusting soul; and, of course, trust often accompanies one’s own enthusiastic transparency & trustworthiness. My new saying is that I trust everyone - to do exactly what they are going to do. They don't disappoint. Good folks do that. The others - do - that other.

Memorize the little poem up there about the rose, though, and give the odor time to make itself clear. It will if one can bridle the eager expectation just a little and take a good long sniff of the air before plunging in headlong! (Headlong was one of my Dad's words for how I tended to move at times!)

Otherwise, you’re so right that the tears and fumes will inevitably clarify it all, show the a—hole for what/who he is, and bring the reality of it into clear focus. It’s just not the very easiest way as I know - having BTDT. ;-)

I love you and prefer you to have all you really deserve that is ‘good and good for you’ (Another of my Dad’s phrases when recommending healthy stuff!)

Thank you, my Cyber Daughter, for your always welcome visit!! Hugs.


Vincent Moore 3 years ago

Ah Martie you couldn't have said it any better, I to am transparent, I've worn my heart on my sleeve many times, I've given the very deepest part of me to others, to later be trampled upon. I've grown very cautious these past few years and thus I live alone, I am not as trusting as I use to be. Very guarded with matters of the heart my dear Nellieanna.

Would or could I love again, I find it very doubtful at my age? I've had my turn at marriages, love, hurt, pain and now shy away from relationships. I doubt very much that there is any woman out there that would have me, so having said that, I am content to not share what love I have left with anyone, in fear of hurting them as well as myself.

Your poetry is simply stunning, it echoes your feelings about love, you were fortunate to finally find your soulmate in George and had all that time together. Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Vincent ~ Ah, yes, George and I were two fortunate people to find our soulmates in each other and when we saw that we were, unconditionally. He told me that he was driving to a business assignment and simply realized, “I love her!” I shudder to think what we’d have missed if either of us had been determined to avoid repeating the relationship disasters we’d each experienced, so that we couldn't have been open to the real thing when it happened.

(Of course, we did give it time to see that it was the real rose and it continued to smell like a real rose!)

I think what matters is to be doing what one really prefers and can choose. Even though he's gone, I can embrace life and be open to it as it happens. Love itself isn't a choice, though, so I neither expect it or not. But I am fully alive and happy as I am, which I can choose to be.

Thank you, dear heart, for your kind comments about my poetry. Your good opinion means much to me! Big hug!


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

Unbelievable, Nellieanna, each precious poem is lovelier and more inspiring than the one preceding it. I am particularly enamored of the lines: 'An imitation rose Is odorless - Regardless of its bloom.' And the image of a melting you running downstream. Unique and precious.

The Streisand piece was perfect but you already know that. :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

These are beautiful, thought-provoking poems, Nellieanna. Like so many of yours, they are well worth reading again and again, and even worth absorbing on a more personal level for possible personal application. Nice song choices, too.

Transparency, I think, should be a desired thing in a relationship, especially a romantic one. Yet, if someone tries to force it, it counteracts the very transparency that might've already been present. This I know from experience. I am quite open about many things in my life, and saying what I think (even on HP ;)) gets me in trouble sometimes, but I am very cautious about whom I chose to share most intimate details with. Not for fear of being hurt (those that truly love me should know my motives at heart even if my human shows and I say or do something in a moment of anger or bad judgment, things of the like), but because I think that transparency comes naturally with trust. Some people just demonstrate their trust-worthiness faster than others. And, I think that transparency happens most often when it is reciprocal trust. In that, maybe most people are actually opaque. Perception also depends on so many other factors, including more immediate details and not just the big picture. ;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Dr. BJ. Thank you. Several of those poems are older ones. “One Who Loves” was written in 1972, when the contrast was made very clear to me! I’m delighted you like it. Yes, Barbra’s song seemed perfect to me. :-) Thank you so much, dear lady!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah, dear Shan, I’m glad you found the hub.

I'm glad you found some of the poems worthy of re-reading. When I wrote many of them, I needed to be able to read them again and again, to hold on to their inspiration in the face of oppressive opposition. They really had no other purpose.

Yes, transparency ‘goes-with’ a richly trusting relationship. But being transparent isn’t synonymous with needing to be a door-mat. In fact, its very authenticity is its built-in protection. The view is clear from both sides.

The kind of trust which goes with such a relationship is not some kind of binding, blind misplaced trust, which, unfortunately, too often too quickly mistakes something else for the real thing and accepts it, and then is trapped. True trust and its transparency are not the same as ‘anything goes’, including disrespect and mistreatment. Its very clarity summons respect where it exists and is possible. Where it does not exist and is not possible, it's not mutual and needn't be offered. It is not obligatory. It's a gift and a privilege.

I appreciate your thoughts on these subjects! Thank you!


Genna East profile image

Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

“An imitation rose

Is odorless -

Regardless of its bloom.”

One of my favorite lines in these beautiful, stunning vignettes. True love requires a genuine and candid heart. Without, it is merely pantomime that goes “unheard.” I loved these…and Streisand’s song is also one of my very favorites, Nellieanna. :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, dear Genna! Thank you!

Yes - that one is rooted deeply in my heart. I'm always reminded that there was a matter of silk roses in my life at the time I wrote it. It was winter and no real ones available, plus I was stuck way out beyond access to a florist - and the groceries didn't have them then, nor would my food budget have allowed, - so I had some pretty silk roses.

But I was chided by someone whose opinion I valueed about the artificial flowers and assured that none would be better. It was a difficult truth, but it inspired the poem & reflected poorly off my life at the the time.

I had to think that, of course, one of the surest tests of nature’s roses is their heavenly aroma! If the true clues of authenticity are missing, that is the significant fact.

Same with matters of the heart, where having 'none' is better than having artificial, as well. As you so accurately say, - it’s mere pantomime! OK for a sideshow, but not OK for a life.

Streisand sings it true!! Has to be real to be anything!


wayne barrett profile image

wayne barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

"there is real enough to go around"

Wow, what a line. Wonderful poetry Nellieanna.

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving from my home in Florida, but on that day I will be in Maine...freezing my keister off!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, Wayne - great to see you here! Yes - whatever it is, truth & real are preferable to everything else and they’re not even rationed or taxed! ;-)

Hope you enjoy your chilly trip to Maine. Right now, we’re having temperatures lower than New York, but ours are seldom long-lived. I’m invited to Thanksgiving dinner with George, Jr’s wife’s daughter’s family, in Plano - a suburb north of Dallas. It will be fun and interesting, with lots youngsters and all. Be careful on your trip!


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

Love and transparency really radiate the same things, I think.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Deb, I think you’re right, especially so with evolved, pure, unselfish, unselfconscious love. Thank you for the visit and comment! Hugs.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

One whose heart is transparent, is one who truly knows of love! You are brilliant, lovely transparent one.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful gift of writing here for all to enjoy.

Up ++++ and sharing this masterpiece

Hugs and love,

Faith Reaper


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Oh, Faith - what a pleasure to see you here!

Yes - transparency of heart is a major trait of true love and loving. Thank you for your observation and for the support! Hugs and love to you!


Vellur profile image

Vellur 2 years ago from Dubai

Beautifully expressed, transparent heart. A lovely poem.


Harishprasad profile image

Harishprasad 2 years ago from India

Nellieanna, how simple a fact is that one should be honest in dealings and relationships ! To link all that to a very fascinating gift that is our heart and produce such an excellent craft is really marvelous ! How naturally words flow and stroke our conscience softly ! You create a real bliss in your beautiful poems. I relished each word of this poem. Thank you, voted up.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 2 years ago from TEXAS Author

Vellur ~ It’s always a great pleasure to see you’ve visited my hubs! Thank you. I’m pleased you like “Transparent Heart”!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 2 years ago from TEXAS Author

Harish, yes, it’s a simple fact, but too often missed or ignored, it seems. Perhaps fear causes people to hide true feelings, but it’s more helpful to be honest about them for oneself, as well as others. Transparency and honesty have long been subjects of interest to me. I include self-honesty in that. If trying to fool others is defeating, trying to fool oneself is devastating!

I’m gad you like my poetry here. Thank you for the vote, as well.


LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 2 years ago from Somewhere in the West

Lovely poetic work Nelli , good to read yet another fantastic piece


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 2 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, LadyFiddler. You're so very kind!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 17 months ago from England

Beautiful poems and meanings Nellieanna, you always do it so wonderfully!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 17 months ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you so much Nell!


bigj1969 profile image

bigj1969 16 months ago from glasgow

Beautiful hub as always,beautifully put together,outstanding Nellieanna.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 16 months ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you so much, John! I'm pleased that you visited and liked it!


bigj1969 profile image

bigj1969 16 months ago from glasgow

Your welcome Nellieanna.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 15 months ago

Nellieanna , I will admit something to you that I wouldn't do elsewhere LOL , Men are horrible at transparency ! Oh, we fake it well enough I suppose . We know we should be more so , It only helps our relationships with our family , wives , children, BUT , Woah ! Wait a minute , Nope ,........ gonna put on a false front !

I think men feel far safer in the usual false bravado , and it really is that simple , it's childlike . Yet what a contradiction in realities ! Yes, we know that all out honesty is the best medicine in any relationship , there is nothing better than when two people meet face to face in one of those bare naked honest moments of life , of love , of work , of living . In many ways , I have always been a 'fixer ' , in my extended family and in my work , somehow a lot of people actually look to me for that , or have at least . And , this is what I have found in life ; There is a moment when any conflict can be broken down between people , it's really a magical thing to watch too .

It is almost always that one moment when a person or even a group of people honestly drops their guard , when all things ,pride , prejudiced , anger , resentment , all negative things as one , fade into a Ahah moment !.......a little cloud of trust floats across the sky and the 'old guard' that safety net of hardness begins to drop away revealing the truth . Honesty is best !

In my next life - I'm not going to be a fixer though , it's too much like baby-sitting ! Lol . Sorry I got off on a rant about transparency ......I tend to wander these days !......Your poetry is always , always so open , honest and pure ! ......Big Hug !

P.S. I noticed that I couldn't vote this awesome , useful , beautiful , or funny ......... what's with that ?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 15 months ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you for your great comments, Ed.

Oh, Ed, that was wonderful, hearing how your experience has been and is. I'm aware of much that you say. Men simply have a different world in which to live. Expectations of them from infancy is different, however subtle it may be. The 'fixer' trait is personal & can be genderless, but more typical of men. Men for whom it's also part of their work tend to apply it in everyday situations. Why wouldn't they? I'm that way myself. It may stir some resentment when people respond with it so quickly and automatically that it's almost unintentional. For many women, that comes across as either being insensitive to their underlying frustrations, not recognizing them or minimizing their own ability to fix their own stuff. How can anyone be transparent with such pressures?

But honesty is a kind of transparency compatible with almost any perspective. It's part of good communication skills. People shouldn't have to change WHO they ARE. That is the opposite of transparent. But to feel OK to own it and allow others to see and understand it is good for relationships, I think - though it's not always so. Even then, one has to be true to oneself, or what's the point of any of it?

I'm at a loss about the voting option. I went to edit to see if I'd inadvertently turned it off, but there is no place to turn it off or on. So I checked some of my other hubs. They didn't have it either. So I thought maybe one can't see it on one's own hubs, so I checked a few others'. Seems that none have it, or at least none are visible to me! See what you can find out. Now I'm very curious!


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 14 months ago from sunny Florida

"Oh! To regather once more

The fragments of myself Into a mighty wave again

To splash against her shore."

Having felt the need to gather my fragmented self at least once in my lifetime, these words say it all for me.

And as far as transparency goes.....I try...I really do. But am truly uncertain if I accomplish it...I fear I may too be opaque even though I endeavor not to be.

Absolutely splendid....so glad I found this today ...you are a gift to us all.

Angels are on the way bringing hugs and blessings ps

shared g+ tweeted pinned


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 14 months ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Hi Nellieanna - It is correct that we must be true to ourselves and our loves and not fake what is not there. Transparent does mean your heart is open for all to see. It is hard for men to be open, as that is a different way of life. There are some, however, who are genuine and have these characterics. A lot of men are hard to read. Sharing this lovely poetry Nellieanna. You are the way, the truth, and the life and full of love. Blessings, Audrey


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 14 months ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Patricia. Thank you! And the good news is that being transparent is being authentic, and trying to be isn’t required. It’s who one is. Letting it flow may seem like trying, but not fretting about it allows it to show and flow. It’s not necessary to make oneself helpless, not at all. One is simply alive in the actual moments as they flow and aware of what’s actually going on, so more observant, alert and aware, and better able to respond, which is a good meaning of ‘response-ability’. Takes a lot of the pressure off. Also, if it is or if it's not received well, one is still OK.

HUGS!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 14 months ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Audrey - absolutely! Not fake, but transparent in one’s authenticity. No guarantee that others are able to really see it, though. One IS but many people are expecting people to wear masks and/or armor to conceal our vulnerability, in order to try to protect their own vulnerability. But truth is that being open protects one’s vulnerability, really.

When one is alert to and aware of what is going on here and now, by being authentic & not worried about defending oneself, one is less likely to make poor choices and more likely to choose what really ‘fits’. Also one is not wanting to be emotionally dependent on others nor to allow others to ‘plug in’ to oneself emotionally, because there is no way that one can always suit or fill the emotional requirements of another person. What one does and what others do voluntarily is what is most satisfying, anyway, even if it's not as routine as feeling it's required and trying to fulfil it.

Much misunderstanding and hurt can be avoided by just that when one is not expecting others to always-and all ways to please oneself and knowing it’s not possible to always please them. One can always be gracious about it, but not demanding.

Much of the feelings of being too vulnerable come from either being disappointed when others ‘fail’ to meet expectations or when they become too dependent and expectant of one’s meeting theirs. But one can only guide one’s own expectancies and avoid encouraging impossible expectancies from others - who still may try to.

As for men, perhaps their experiences from childhood on have led them to be overly cautious and to cover feelings with somewhat fake bravado — and to mistrust the motives of others. As you say, for them, letting down some of those layers of self-defense looms as a different way of life they may not easily embrace. But men who are more ‘self-actualized’ have no problem being open without feeling threatened by it.

One can only be an example and boost their confidence. No way to reassure them with just words or theories. haha.

Enjoy!


sujaya venkatesh profile image

sujaya venkatesh 10 months ago

a true hub


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 10 months ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you so much, Sujava Venkatesh! That is a wonderful praise!


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 7 months ago

Feeling the way do shows in all your work. No matter what date 1972 or the present. I am enjoying your words and my secret girlfriend crush for Olivia Newton John. Your hubs go deep into my soul. Pulling out emotions of long ago. I am too transparent and it has caused many to feel they can take advantage of me. Little did I learn after awhile you develop a thick alligator skin through people's attitudes and comments. While other people have to put an act to be someone their not and remember what movie their in and with who I have the same role and the same cast( the world) I can concentrate on being a better person with no hang ups or false beliefs. I can learn to expand my horizons no matter what is around the corner. I actually feel sad for those who have to live a lie. In my past I had a girlfriend who would hide money and her feelings. I didn't need that and it took along time to realize that. Always hoping it wasn't so. She would change. She never did and I realized I was the only one that could change. So I did. Telling her how I felt and how I thought people should be towards each other open and truthful. If you wanted to work it out we could. She left faster than batman in the bat mobile. Why didn't I tell her long ago. I guess I was afraid to hurt her feelings and should of been more open and transparent. I never said I was good at it. I just believe I am transparent. I have some old writings from 1983 I am thinking of posting. Showing I was open and thought naive that everyone else was honest and giving. Another lesson in life. I again realized talk more about others than about yourself and you are to busy learning than to worry about people knowing things about you. That one day they can throw in your face. I always say your telling me nothing knew. Anyone who knows me knows so much more. I am not running for office or president of the United States nobody cares that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I would give my shirt off my back to an old man that doesn't have one. I make mistakes all the time and I am smart enough not to make the same mistakes again and again. I keep moving forward and finding people who love life with the greatest passion. Those who don't I have little time for. You could say I am a business man that deals with emotions rather than money. I have a goldmine and mine are here to be shared. I know it does me no good to take them with me. They get pretty heavy. So I pass them out to other people who I feel are deserving. Sometimes I am right and I find out they have a bigger goldmine than me and they share. Wow every day is like a Grand giveaway. When I share one emotion it leaves room for more good emotions to come into my life. I appreciate all your comments on my hubs it's time I return the favor. I love reading so much I can keep reading and never find time to comment. When I read I think. When I think I want to read more. It reminds me of pedaling a bike. Once you start you never want to stop. I know there are many other things to do but I am having so much fun and I can hear the voice of Michael's past Mom do I really have to come in for supper. Just five more minutes. Then she would say just five your suppers getting cold. I was having so much fun with my friends playing then ironically their parents would call them in and in seconds they said I got to go. I guess I valued our time together more than they did. Off to a wonderful morning with a good breakfast and a clear mind. My wife still sleeping I think I will give her a nice back rub so she can feel as good as me to start the day. Refreshed and alive. Special and loved. Wishing the rest of the world more joy than I can ever have.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 7 months ago from TEXAS Author

Oh, Dream On (Michael) - thank you for these great comments. I read it this morning before having complications with my day's work and with my computer and didn't get to reply then to your comment. I have the glitches worked out but now it's bedtime because the work I still have to do will have to start early in the morning, but I didn't want to leave before I told you how very much I like and appreciate all that you've shared here. It deserves a detailed reply, though, so I'll be back to both enjoy reading it again and replying more thoroughly!


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 7 months ago

Nellieanna You have done so much already. I am happy with hearing your fine and you are having a good day. Thank you for doing whatever you can and you are always in my thoughts and prayers.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 7 months ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, dear Michael. You are kind! I'm into this work that needs to be ready for a meeting later today, but paused to see your reply.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 7 months ago

I am heading outside to work in the yard. Stopped to check my hubs because it sets my tone for the day. Seen your comment. May your day bring you energy, strength and continued satisfaction. SHELLS


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 7 months ago from TEXAS Author

Good for you. The weather here today is bright and sunny, but just a bit cooler than 'the norm', still it's perfect for outdoor projects. Of course, my day's project has been indoors. haha.

I've gotten the paperwork done and ready for the meeting about the ranch, which was moved forward till a little after 5PM this afternoon. It's 4:30 right now, so I'm just relaxing for a few moments.

The panic of having some of the things I depended on for accomplishing the work which did not work at first has now subsided and the actual work, once begun, went smoothly. I have copies all printed up for each of us to mark up with any final changes needed, and we may place a conference call to the others involved. If all is resolved after the meeting, I'm set to put the documents in the mail to El Paso tomorrow.

It's challenging to run a ranch that is 500 miles from where I live. Others involved are also that far from it, but in the opposite direction. Texas' open spaces are amazing!

Have a good evening, my friend. SHELLS!


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 7 months ago

Nellieanna I have trouble handling my own back yard two feet from my back porch. I live on a half an acre of land and I try to grow a small garden and plant a few flowers wherever there is room. I grew up where my back yard was ten by ten and it felt big. Now I have so much more. In Texas do people have small lots or acres and acres of land. If you have land is it flowers and trees or just cactuses. Have a good night.


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Nellieanna 7 months ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, Michael, my dear friend!

Haha. I love the way you describe your relationship with land sizes. If you grew up in a town, yards are seldom huge. Your half acre now is pretty roomy in a populated area. Having room for a garden and some chosen flowers is great.

Also if your own yard has a great view of nature’s plenty, then all that is ‘free’ space for you.

My yard here in Dallas (in North Texas) is shaped like a slice of pie, with the house set near the smaller tapered front yard end. The back yard opens out to a lengthy border along the alley. When George was alive, we had a great veggie garden of his own design. It was raised beds about 3-feet wide and the beds were filled with good East Texas soil. because this house & yard sits on solid rock just a few inches down. The graden grew all the fresh veggies we could eat and give away. I also planted a raised garden bed for fresh herbs.

In general Texas yard sizes in towns and cities vary from quite small to sweepingly big. Depends on various things. A lot of people choose to live in condos, so they don’t have to care for yards. Other people delight in yard care and gardening. So it’s pretty much like any other place, I guess, at least in this Dallas-Ft. Worth area in North Texas.

I grew up spending time at the ranch all summers and in a small town 100 miles away for the school year. We always had to have a house in town, since my older siblings needed school, too. They were all nearly grown when I was born, but we still had a home in Del Rio so I could go to school. Some ranchers in our area sent their kids off to boarding school instead. I guess my parents valued their own influence and presence for their children too much for that solution. When they both had to be at the ranch during the school semesters, I stayed with friends in town, even with one of my teachers at one time. I was sent to boarding school when we'd moved to San Angelo, where Dad had bought a nearby farm to raise feed for the ranch livestock, which then had to be hauled about 250 miles to the ranch. I was 15 and they both had to commute with the ranch more often. We were new to that town and didn't have a backup of trusted friends for me to stay with. After that, I was never full-time at my parents' home again. I often even stayed at school for the summer sessions. It was a new chapter in my life.

People’s country places in Texas vary in size and vastly, in climates. Texas itself is a larger space than most of the other states. It has 5 or 6 totally different kinds of climate and lands. There are ranches as big as small states. The kinds of land and the uses for the land also determine how much of it people need to be able to make it profitable.

My land has both flowers and trees - and lots of cacti. The native flowers and trees are not like they are in lush, wet places. It’s a semi-desert place, with many canyons and with gorgeous flowers on the cacti and other thorny plants. And there are specialized flowering bushes which are well adapted to the climate. Purple sage, for example, has small, succulent, light-colored leaves with ‘fuzz’ on them. They grab whatever water is available and store it in their leaves. The light color and fuzz protects them from strong, intense sun. There are also many wild flowers on short, tough weeds and their combination aromas are breathtaking! One runs across delicate flowers in the canyon bottoms, even an occasional morning glory.

Trees are mostly short, brushy bushes, except for the mesquite trees, which have willow-like leaves and lots of thorns. Down in the canyons, there are some deciduous trees, due to the fact that rainwater lingers in the canyons before rushing off in the network of canyons leading to the big river, the Rio Grande, not too far away and separating Texas from Mexico.

There is no permanent surface water on the place. In fact, all ranches there depend on deep wells for water. Some places (not mine) have small natural springs, though, and the Pecos River meanders north-westward not too far from my place, but has no effect on my land. Rivers are few and they've all carved their paths down in deep canyons. It’s very unlike places in the east and northeast. It's a rugged, challenging land.

My ranch is considered a modest-sized place. It’s 6,573 acres, a little more than 10 square miles. It cannot be compared to tillable land as on farms. It's strictly for grazing livestock and supporting its own wildlife. It takes quite a few acres to support one cow, who will drink 50 gallons of the rationed water each day. The wildlife needs water too, but they're adapted to semi-desert and do well with limited water. But it's important to me to be sure they get what they need, so my place has a vast network of pipes to troughs for them.

Some large ranches are being sold off in small tracts (ranchetts) of 200-300 acres to city people who just want to claim they own a Texas ranch. They have no water wells or other improvements, but are just used to camp out, hunt and help themselves to water from people’s water wells & poach deer from others land. Of course, one would not deny anyone water in that dry countryside. But poaching is a serious infraction. Having legitimate, honorable hunters of my own choice on my own ranch helps assure that lawless poachers will be curtailed. The Game Warden is stationed many miles away, and can’t patrol the large areas he must look after. Even if he were called, it would take several hours for him to get there. Vast distances are part of the way it is. “Near’ neighbors on other ranches are many miles apart.

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