TWO BUMBLING BOBBIES By Robert Hewett Sr.

Two London Bobbies
Two London Bobbies | Source

TWO BUMBLING BOBBIES

By

Robert Joseph Hewett Sr.


Two rookie Bobbies, in the Captain’s office, standing tall

A great chewing out going on and heard in the whole hall.

The Captain’s face was red, his eyes twitching, his voice shaking.

These two young scared rookies saw their doom was in the making.

“You are a disgrace to our uniform”, the Captain cried.

“You let that boxed in Bank Robber run right through you”, he sighed.

“You embarrassed me by running straight into each other.”

“If I could do so, I would send you home to your mother.’

Here, take this photo and go find this worthless blueblood cat

Lady Buxman thinks her cat will be eaten by a rat.


Two subdued and discouraged Bobbies walking down the street,

Looking at a crumpled photo and not watching their feet.

Bobbie Robby, the shorter, but more vocal of the two,

Tripped and grabbed Bobbie Knobby and to the ground they both flew.

“ Look what you did,” cried Bumbling Bobbie Knobby, much taller,

Look at our uniforms, the Captain will surely holler.”

Up they jumped, trying with no luck, to brush mud off their clothes,

Just then the lost Kitty ran right across their muddy toes.

The two Bobbies turned to chase after the golden Tabby,

Tripped each other and both landed in the muddy alley.


A streetwise Urchin, about age twelve, named Back Alley Jake

Witnessed this pair of Bobbies falling into the street mud lake.

He laughed and thought to himself, there is some real living proof

Even rookie policemen can fail and make goof after goof.

Jake asked them “Why are you trying to catch that golden cat?”

“There are crooks aplenty on our street you need to get at”.

The Bumbling Bobbies looked at each other then at small” Jake,

“Who are you, Tyke, to question Bobbies on a case to make?”

Bumbling Bobby Knobby looked severe and said with disdain,

“The Captain sent us to find a lost cat for a rich Dame.


The cat sat still, by a metal gate, looking all about.

Jake walked over to the cat and dangled a rubber mouse.

He petted the Tabby, putting a Hemp string in its collar..

Very smart, the Bobbies thought, for a street kid from Waller.

The Bobbies looked at Urchin Jake; they were stunned all the while.

Jake gave the string to the taller Bobbie with a slight smile.

“You have to have hope for a better life to get along in this world,

Just look around you at a forlorn homeless boy or girl.”

Without hope we would give up and surely die in our sleep

No one with a home would notice our death or even weep.


“Bobbies, you need great courage and hope if you want success

To make your Captain happy contented and your work bless.

I will make a deal with you new Bobbies right here and now

I will help you catch some big crooks to make your Captain proud.

But you must promise to help the CHILDREN IN NEED this hour.

The Bobbies whispered to each other, smiled and turned to Jake

Okay Mate, we are game to try your bold plan, so tell us

What we must do to succeed today and not make a muss.

“Lean down Bobbies and I will lay out a my simple plan,

To catch the bank robber and put him quickly in the can.”


“See that Pub over there, dingy, but with a busy clan.

Your robber and Frizzy Ellie are dancing to the band.

You go in and stand by the bar, looking proud and able.

I will come in behind you and bump the robber’s table.

You can arrest him there and make your Captain quite humble.

He will pin a medal on you and words of praise mumble”.

The Bobbies entered the Pub and sallied up to the bar.

Standing with their backs to the bar and looking near and far.

All the patrons looked like crooks, excepting one older Knurl

Dressed well, having a cupa with a very pretty girl.


In came Jake making his way across the room, cup in hand.

A buxom waitress bumped him right into the well dressed man.

The Bobbies ran to the table and grabbed the well dressed knave.

Bobbie Knobby spoke into his mike acting very brave.

They shoved the man face down on the table and then cuffed him.

The man screamed, calling them idiots, and fools, their lives dim.

In came the Sergeant, puffing hard and heavy, took one look,

His face turned beet red, his voice was loud and his body shook,

“What have you done, you loony ones, don’t you know whom you caught?

That is the Mayor of Nottingham; your lives are for naught.”


The Bumbling Bobbies were back on the street, very much downcast

Their hopes and dreams had flown away like wind before the mast.

They spied Back Alley Jake underneath a green tree, frowning

“You guys are a bigger task to keep us all from drowning.

“I got bumped into the wrong table, and it ruined the day.

You never noticed me; you were after the Mayor at play.”

“I know it looks bad, your Captain is mad, and you’re forlorn,

But hope is eternal, KIDS IN NEED, know since we were born.

Just look up and be brave, adversity will surely pass

Heroes you will often be, honored to the very last.



The Bobbies sadly walked their beat, young Jake was at their side

Looking to save themselves now and with their Captain abide.

“Look”, said Jake, “there, coming down the street, staggering around,

Heartless Hank has his small son Willie’s hair dragging him down.

When they get home, he will beat Willie and Willie’s frail mum too,

When you see Willie again he will have burns that are new.

If you want to redeem yourselves and make your Captain proud,

Follow me and catch Hank hurting his family, now cowed.”

The Bobbies were not so sure, they were now having a bad day.

Could they trust Jake again to be right and show them the way?


“What the heck, let’s go said Bobbie Robby, hitching his belt,

We have only one way to go, we must play the hand dealt.”

They watched Hank drag scared Willie up the steep faded dark stair

They followed them and waited below in the dark dank air.

There was a scream, by Willie’s mum that cut them like a knife

They bounded up the stairs as Hank kept slapping his hurt wife.

Hank reached again for crying Willie, lying on the floor.

Just then the angry Bobbies burst through the door.

Hank turned, ready to fight, so they bopped him with their trusty sticks,

Cuffed him quickly hand and foot and called for help in two flicks.


Later on that day, while they were walking the street with Jake,

They chanced to meet the bold bank Robber and his frizzy mate.

Jake nudged Bobbie Knobby and said low, “Now’s the time to act,

Catch the wanted crook and much fame you Bobbies will attract”.

The Bobbies looked and nodded, “Thanks Jake”, they did softly say.

Just as the Robber passed by them looking the other way,

Bobbie Robby pretended to fall just to block his path.

Bobbie Knobby grabbed the startled robber showing no wrath.

The Bobbies handcuffed the robber, calling their backup fast.

The Sergeant arrived, not believing his eyes, mouth aghast.


Bobbies Knobby and Robby were no longer the ones scorned.

They were heroes, very proud, walking tall, their past not mourned.

Young Jake was made an honorary member of the force

With his new friends he made life better on his street, of course.

This neighborhood rejoices in better days that abound.

The crooks have mostly gone away to other parts of town.

The CHILDREN IN NEED have new friends to help them through the day.

The Bobbies are very proud of their street and the honored way.

The children have more hope with every good word and deed.

The BBC APPEAL is all about helping CHILDREN IN NEED.



More by this Author


Comments 2 comments

Leokadia Durmaj 5 years ago

This was a wonderful tale of poetry to read. Very creative in it imagery, capturing moments of laughter when things did not go to plan, leaving behind some misfortunate deeds.

A pleasure to read, take care always, Lee


ROBERTHEWETTSR profile image

ROBERTHEWETTSR 5 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky Author

Thank you Lee for reading my charity story and for your very nice comments. Bob

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working