Talk to me

O please talk to me

My heart is in so much pain

A whirlwind of mis-belief

Can't you hear my heart beating

A million miles away

Can't you feel the tears flowing..covering me

It is so hard..say you need me

Let me know how you feel..is it real?

My eyes are on you..watching, waiting

Endless as time is I can't be here forever

To get by I will stand tall..did you know?

Where I belong is with you baby

But we will always be together..no matter what happens

All I am I will surrender to you

Can't you see I am afraid? I am so alone

Without you by my side I can't be me

The darkness is overtaking me now

Are you the only one? Am I all yours?

The moon eclipse and the stars are my hope

"First star out tonight..I wish I may..I wish I might"

"Have this wish I wish tonight"

I wish you were here with me..in sight

Sight? what is sight anyways? fright..fight..light...

The light of my life isn't all as it seems

Is the time ever the right time?

Do I even know myself well enough?

Have I seen too much..sorry..the mystery is still within me

Even I can't find it..feel it yes i do..but control it..oh my can I?

Jesus, Shall I follow?? there are so many miles of dis-belief

Am I suppose to carry on? How? Why?

My heart bleeds and is so torn apart..can it ever heal?

The crescent moon and the stars seem to hold the answer

Will they ever reveal them to me?

Please talk to me..tell me I am ok?

Comments 67 comments

ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Nana you ok? You sound so tortured. Your baby is here for you always. Whenever you need some one remember Ashwin ok Nana? ((((HUGS))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Aww... Thank you Angel..Yes My heart is going through a big change right now...the devil works thru the mind? and God works thru the heart...My heart ...my heart...you make me cry sweetie from your caring...How are you baby? Are you doing ok? I am more concerned about you them me right now...Will I ever learn?

Yes... I will always remember Ashwin...there is somehow a special attachment between us...from the first time I saw you here..God Be with you Hun...G-Ma (nana) :o) Hugs


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Im fine Nana. I am having trouble sending you an email so for the time being i use your comment box ok? (",) Life goes on Nana. I have been with her for 17yrs so you should know the how i feel. Anyway you people are simply great. You, Miss Cindy, Miss Dottie, Miss Violet Sun, Miss Laurie, Miss Princessa and Mr Christopher were so good to me even though you have never seen me before. And the rest who showed their love. I am really touched Nana. Jesus works his wonders in everyone. No matter what the devil does, One word to the MAN and you have a strong sense of love filling your heart. I'm really fine now Nana. Whats going on with you? Its not as if you cant write me an email right? :=P You know i truly love you Nana and you know how much i deeply care for you. so please use me to pour some of those sadness out to me too. Lets share it. Lets fight the devil together hehe!!! Its pouring here and im sitting in the office doing nothing. So i will be looking in my inbox every 2 minutes for you mail k? Hugs Nana.

(((((((((BIGBEARHUG)))))))))))


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 8 years ago from West Virginia

We are all around you, can you feel it?!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Yes Lady My dear I do...and Thank you for your concern...I am just having a bit of a hard time dealing with my emotions from my heart right now...will it ever heal...? How can the actions of one Man do this???G-Ma :o) hugs


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 8 years ago from West Virginia

Oh, men are selfish snobs! My daughter is getting a new dog next weekend instead of a new boyfriend. She was to be married this last June, but the slob took off with her debit card before the wedding and she has other b-friends after that and just is tired of them all. So she said that she will fill up her life with things that are good to her and don't steal or take things that aren't theirs.

Moral of her story--don't trust men as far as you can pick them up!


sandra rinck 8 years ago

Will it ever heal? I ask myself the same question daily. :( One day GmaJ, one day it will. love you soo much! :)


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Lady G...Thank you again and am sad to hear your daughter has had a hard time...somehow is maybe better she found out before she tied the knot though ? And the saying I know is "don't trust then further then you can throw them" Love G-Ma :o) Hugs


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Dear sweet sandra...am also sorry and know how you feel...maybe one day our hearts will be in one piece again? do you think so? My prayers to you ..G-Ma :o) Hugs


sandra rinck 8 years ago

Yes! When, I don't know when but I know it will one day. My prayers to you as well. xoxoxox


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Faith is a wonderful thing to have...and I do have Faith...but maybe not enough in myself??? Something is missing and I am not sure what the heck it is???Any clues???Love G-Ma :o) Hugs


sandra rinck 8 years ago

trust what your heart is telling you. do what you feel is good, cut off your ear when someone wants to tell you, you are wrong. I wish I could answer that question for you, but somewhere deep down, you know what it is.

It's not missing, just be patient. Know it, feel it, believe it with all your heart no matter how bad it gets, no matter how many tears you cry, no matter how much bad stuff you see, no matter what someone may say to you, no matter how much love never seems to be returned, no matter how much it hurts.

He loves you, I love you, we love you. It's a promise without rewards in this life. Just remember that.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Awww... you are just too nice...and yes many ,many tears fall...way too often for this old lady...My heart says one thing and my mind says another...they both make sense to me tho...Promises never kept...

Thanking you  my dear ...you are very kind...if ever I can help you let me know ok?  I have no right to be complaining...I am so fortunate compared to many others and need to get over my selfishness...and be thankful and grateful for what I do have....Forgive me...G-Ma :o) Hugs


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

G-mom...my heart is feeling heavy reading this. Breathe deep with me mom, you can work through this....we must continue to learn to give up the fight... ya just give it up....turn the mind off and let the juice in your heart flow flow flow whereever it wants to go...ok mom, i sense you will be ok again like you always are. You are brave and so kind. We love you and we know you love us too. Remember to breathe! Big Big Hugs to you and G-mom you have already been forgiven, don't forget that, hun! Take care.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

Hey G-Ma...I had to go put the coffee on after that. Would you like a cup? or tea?


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Sure I would Love a cup :o) thanks...

OMG I never meant to get you all upset...I forget sometimes that while we are free to express our feelings here...they do effect other's...others like you that are so caring and sweet...and I am breathing nice big breaths...I wish it was as easy as it sounds..flow flow flow..let it flow..right? or wrong? let it flow?...God will direct me i know...it is the waiting that is hard...waiting for me to hear...to follow...to know His word is right...G-Ma :o) Hugs


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Nana i just read something which i think will lighten you up.

Im going to give you the profile of 3 famous people who actually existed in this world. If you are holding the final vote to make one of this candidates the President of the US who will you caste your vote for?

Candidate A -Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day

Candidate B -He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which candidate gets your vote Nana? Tell me first then i tell you the names of this 3 famous people these profiles belongs to. Hint.. All 3 were great leaders. hehe!!!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Well sweetie i think C I used to like whiskey too...OK? tell me G-Ma :o) hugs


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler!!!.

Nice Going Nana :D

(((((((HUGS)))))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Oh No...that's not so good tho is it???G-Ma :o) Hugs (was hoping that was you..shhh)


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Goes to show you can never know someone until the person shows his true self.

Me??? I dont even drink.LOL!!!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

well come here...I'll teach ya :O)


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

NANA!!! nooooooooo!!! you are horrible... teaching me bad stuff hehehe.. (((HUGGIES)))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

but it makes you feel good too...honest and can be really fun ...shhh now don't tell on me...Love ya babe...G-Ma :o) hugs LOL :O) :O)


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

My dear G-Ma, your writing always makes me think. Think about you, think about my mother (she is 77), think about... life! There is nothing better than being alive even if we have problems... at least we can write about them and share our thoughts with others.

You know I love you, don´t you? Take care! Big kiss ;)


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

mmm ok. I will do as you say. ok Nana me off to church. Its already 8.30am here and pouring heavily. Catch up with you later bye. Have a drink on me. Love you

ps. Hi Funride. nICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN BUDDY


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Ashwin? ON you? or for you? HEE HEE Pray for me ok? G-Ma :o) hugs


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

i Will Nana. I have been doing that for sometime already. Got that kiss i asked Jesus to send you ASAP yesterday night? If not i will remind him later. ok Nana me changed and off now. catch up with you later Love you so so much byebye

(((((((bigkisshug)))))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

oh my sweet sweet funride...Yes I am sure you love me...and am glad I remind you of your mom..or make you think of her...and yes I was being a big baby I guess when I wrote that...and yes I know I have much to be thankful for...people like you make it that way...God is great and God is good...and yes I will be ok as I always am...and yes I love you too...do you know that? G-Ma :o) hugs


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 8 years ago from Hong Kong

Hi. Hope all's well. Thanks for the great piece.


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

No doubt about it! You always made it clear ;)

ps: It was also nice to see you again here at hubpages, Ashwin :)


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Well thank You Benson Yeung...nice of you to comment...G-ma :o) Hugs


sandra rinck 8 years ago

can you show me how to drink whiskey without barfing? See, I would get invited to more parties if I could just hold it in. lol.

You sound much better already. xoxoxo


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

Oh G-Ma please don't worry about me! I found a few reallllly funny hubs that were cracking me up alive. One of them was JimmyTheJocks. He just wrote his 666th hub on "666 The Satanic Hubpage". Want to read it: http://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/The-Satani

I agree with sandra that you sound much better. ((((hugs))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Well how can one not get better with wonderful ladies like you two around...I don't drink whiskey any longer...but sure could have shown you how...slowly...and am going to go read the hub now...will report to you later...God Bless you both..and do take care...and once again THANK YOU for your concern...G-Ma :o) hugs


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Nana feeling better already??? You are not by any chance drunk right??? hehe!!! Love you so much Nana. I feel so happy you are smililing once again. ((((((((1000KISSES))))))))))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

thank you hun...and how was Church? Did God give you any clue as to what i am to do...and no I am NOT drunk...do not drink anymore...well a glass of wine now and again...wishing we could chat...mersbabes@yahoo.com is my address for chatting.Made 8 small apple pies to give away...want one...they smell so good. from my own trees...G-Ma :o) Hugs


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 8 years ago from MA, USA

Hi G-Ma...I just saw your new avatar on another hub so I wanted to stop by and let you know how beautiful you look and sooo sooo very happy. It makes for a really good change today after all you have been through. And that apple pie smells really goood! So you are giving your apple pie to an apple pie, hey!!! It is almost midnight here so I will be signing off very soon. So you have a good night and I will see ALL my friends tomorrow. ((((big big hugs))))


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Nana's pies grows on trees??? Wow...OK OK. I will add your add to contacts and chat next time Nana. Got to prepare for work. I work on Sundays too. Church was wonderful. Prayed specially for you today. Didn't exactly get any message from HIM but will keep Nana updated if i get any news from him ok?:=D Hugs and Kisses for you Nana bye-bye

gOODnight Miss Dottie Sweet dreams. Love you.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

dotti thank you...but beautiful? humm...that's a bit over doing it I think...but thanks anyway... was taken about a month ago on my BD...so is pretty up to date... and yes i guess it did look like my pies grew on trees...I meant my apples from my trees...and wish I could send you some..Sweet dreams...G-Ma :o) hugs


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Ashwin...No they don't grow on trees...but the apples did LOL silly man...So you work on the sabath day? humm what do you do? and Thank you for remembering me in church today...one can use all the prayers one can get...and i pray for you each day also hun...Well don't work too hard and will be looking for you later...G-ma :o) hugs


MrMarmalade profile image

MrMarmalade 8 years ago from Sydney

Ma,

You have hit the jack pot.

This one is really good.

I would like to say all those kind words that everyone else has said , They all beat me to them.

Thank you.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

I always admire you kind messages. Very beautiful!


sandra rinck 8 years ago

I went out fishing for loberster last night. I layed down in the boat to stare up in the sky. I was pretending I was looking down on the Universe and I saw a shooting start. I thought of you. hugs and kisses. :)


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Awww Mr.M you are the kindest man and Thank you for your nice thoughts...This is quite a family here...G-Ma :o) hugs


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

SweetiePie...you too are such a wonderful Lady and I thank you also for your nice words to me...God bless You...G-Ma :o) hugs


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Sandra...woweee did you catch any? My very favorite in the world of seafood...next to the fresh Dungeness crab we catch here...yummmy yum yum...and how sweet of you to think of me when you saw the shooting star...wish I had been laying in a boat looking at the universe last night...but am Happy you were...I miss being on the water very much..visiting the at the beaches just isn't the ame...awwww....well good times come and go...don't they? Thank You Hun G-Ma :o) hugs


marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 8 years ago from USA

Take care G-ma And I hope you get your heart's desires. blessings to you!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Thank You Hun...so do I...only God knows for sure...G-Ma :o) hugs


sandra rinck 8 years ago

we only caught 1 and a few shorts.  We are going to cook it up tonight, not sure what to make with it tonight though.  Any ideas?  I love dungenous crab or crab altogether, but I gotta go north for that, oh well. 

Yeah being on the ocean is a lot different then just visiting the beach.  Yip good times come and go but I guess that it means there will always be good times to come. 

Thinking of you, xoxoxo


maestrowhit profile image

maestrowhit 8 years ago from Virginia

I just read this - didn't read all the posts - just some of them. This is the first of yours I've read. Hey, I'm joining the others in sending my love to you. You've reached out, and you've received. We are one as belonging to Christ. He is inside of you, so don't think you are missing something - even though it feels like you are. He is there and He wants to fill you even more than you want to be filled. Don't blame yourself, whatever you do. You are not guilty. Guilt is the tool of the evil one. You are forgiven, and we all love you.


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

Hi Nana Your baby's back. Yes Nana i work everyday. Im especially busy during weekends and holidays. Including me there are 3 pro golfers and about 700 members and their spouses and kids. So you understand i and my 2 other collegues are completely booked the year round. Alot of my students are kids so its always fun and laughter during lessons and i really enjoy my job. Are you retired Nana? What was your last job? Love you (((((((hugs))))))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

maestrowhit..well hello and good to meet you my friend. Thank you for your nice and thoughtful comment and I shall go read some of your hubs now..always fun to meet new hubbers..God Be with You...G-Ma :o) hugs


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Hi Aswhin...I see....what a great job you have there...have fun and get paid for it??? Yes sweetie I am now retired as of this past April and is a bit difficult for me because my last job was childcare...which I have done on and off for over 40 years. I love children very much.

I am a Jack of all trades and the Master of non...so the saying goes...I have done many many jobs in my life, from banking to house painting to Motel work...to farmers markets and making breads to sell...from watercolor painting to sidewalk chalk play... done stained glass and make clothes. You just had to ask didn't you??? LOL

Well need to get busy for now hun and you have a good day...how many hours different is it..right now it is 10:17 a.m. here...G-Ma :o) hugs


ASHWINSPGA profile image

ASHWINSPGA 8 years ago from Lion City ( Singapore)

its 2.25am Nana. My god you got a whole employment agency going on there.You are so experienced. Im really impressed Nana. Anyway have a great day. catch up with you later i need to sleep now goodnight (((((((kisses)))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Sweet Dreams Baby...G-Ma :o) hugs


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

G-ma,I hope that you are ok, I m sorry I didn't make it to this hub sooner. I have been busy and not really on here very much lately. I want to send hugs to you, you are always so generous with yours. Also I am sending love, prayers, and hope.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

awww my dear lady is ok and i will be just fine....What choice do I have with such kind caring people around like yourself?...Sorry to hear you are so busy but idle hands are ???something ,something for the devil...I have lost the saying right now. And my prayers to you also ...Thank you...G-Ma :o) Hugs


soyelude profile image

soyelude 8 years ago from Lagos - Nigeria

Oh G-ma.....it is a test of Faith. You are so adorable....he will talk to you and be with you....certain things may not be in place just yet. God has his plans....wait for HIM!!!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Sam you are back ! ! ! ...nice to see you sweetie... and yes I know God has His plans...but I am waiting and waiting and not getting any younger either :o) lol But I am a very patient lady...Thanks for commenting...G-Ma :o) hugs


RGraf profile image

RGraf 8 years ago from Wisconsin

My heart reaches out for you. Our emotions can be so deep! My prayers are with you.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Rgraf...well thank you dear one...God will work it out for me...Waiting is the hardest thing...G-ma :o) Hugs


sandra rinck 8 years ago

Thought I would stop by and get a hug. I think I need one today. thinking about you every night for whatever reason, you are stuck in my head, I can't look at a star without remembering you.

xoxoxo


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

(((((( BIG HUG))))) just for you my dear.....Can I do anything to help??? What a nice thing to hear sweetie and " I think of you often , and hope...you feel it" Do take care and all is well here hoping is also true for you..God Bless you sandra...G-Ma :o) Hugs


sandra rinck 8 years ago

That's all I wanted, a great big GmaJ Hug!!!! thank you and God Bless you too. xoxoxo


Misha profile image

Misha 8 years ago from DC Area

Can I take a part, too? ;) ((((((HUGE HUGS)))))


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free Author

Misha but of course my dear... HUGS...G-Ma :o) Hugs

sandra YW :o)

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