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Tangerine Dream Part V: She knew the minute it happened.

Updated on October 4, 2013

Cannons are powerful machines, and when the fuse is lit, the steel ball propels, and the result: lots of shrapnel. The first jagged edge hit the hallways inside Mr. and Mrs. Silverwood’s apartment building. The neighbors had started to notice Benton’s extra enthusiasm for the new neighbor, Kharisma. Some had pondered as to whether they should mention to Mrs. Silverwood how they had seen Benton and Kharisma taking intimate walks more and more on a regular basis. Unbeknownst to the neighbors, Benton told his wife about his daily walks with Kharisma. How he had learned that Kharisma was in reality, an illegal, an immigrant with an expired visa. That the exotic dancer was just paying her way through art school. And while Mrs. Silverwood was happy that her husband shared her humanitarian outlook on life, a little part of her was beginning to feel some metallic twinges of jealousy.

Cannon Eason had grown up hard, had worked hard all of his life, and like a lot of men could get kind of jealous. When it came to Ava, the little green monster was quick to show his ugly head, so when Ava told him that Benton Silverwood was coming to stay for a visit, Cannon was not the least bit pleased. Oh yeah, he had heard of Benton for Ava talked about him frequently. His understanding was that they had met on some kind of blog for writers, and had become instant pen pals. Cannon had already noticed that every time Ava received a post from Benton, she smiled a little brighter and perhaps for longer periods. And since it had been a really long time since Ava smiled much, Cannon had thought, “Hell, this fellow lives a long ways off from here. If his poems and such were helping to put a smile back on Ava’s face, then no harm should come from that.” Of course, that was when the fellow lived a long ways off. Now Ava was telling him that the fellow was going to come down here and visit. He was sure that he had felt a sharp stabbing pain in his head. Naturally, he had tried his best to explain to Ava how great a risk it was to have a stranger come to one’s house. The guy could be a serial killer, a con man, or both. What business did Ava have inviting another man into their lives? He really could not say into their home because the home belonged to Ava. She had allowed him to move in. But, hell, that had been four or five years ago; and, it was hard for him to tell Ava, “No!” when he knew she had made up her mind about something. Plus, Ava had read him the information Benton had forwarded and all indications really suggested he was a nice guy, a city boy just needing some country air. Also, the fellow was married, and had been married for a really long time. Nonetheless, Cannon Eason’s head continued to throb.

Ava knew that Cannon was the sort of person whose life had made him suspicious of everybody and everything. Burned one time too many. And she knew that he had her best interests at heart, but by gosh, when would he and the rest of her family loosen up; allow her the freedom to explore. She was a grown woman for heaven’s sake. And she believed it had been her heavenly angels who had been there when she had tried to not be here anymore. Shrapnel she would carry around in her heart for the rest of her life no matter how much medication she was prescribed, no matter how many times she met with a therapist, no matter. Her heart had been speared with shrapnel from every direction, and it was the kind that cut, yet never healed.

And how Ava craved for resurrection of her worldly spirit for she did not want to live out her life cut and bruised by this life. She wanted to live, live, live and flourish, but the one piece of metal trapped inside of her somehow always won, always reminded her of the things she had done wrong in her life.

Benton Silverwood somehow made that feeling dissipate somehow made her feel she was beautiful and most of all: loved, and Ava Grayson had fallen in love. Love like the kind you feel when you are a teenager and you believe you will die if you do not hear from that boy whose been doing everything except standing on his head. Hey, wait a minute…Did he stand on his head? No matter. Josephina Ava Grayson had fallen right smack in love. And upon reflection, she knew the minute it happened.

Tangerine Dream - Girl On The Stairs (rien ne va plus 2001)

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