Top Ten Things You Never Want To Hear...

Oops...
Oops...

The Oops five…

5) Oops… (From your barber)

4) Oops… (From your accountant)

3) Oops… (From your dentist)

2) Oops… (From your proctologist)

1) Oops… (From a rabbi)


Go Ahead, crush me!
Go Ahead, crush me!

The “We need to talk” five…

5) “Lincoln, we need to talk…”

      (From the boss)

4) “Sit down, Chris, we need to talk…”

      (From the doctor)

3) “Honey, we need to talk…”

      (From your girlfriend)

2) “We need to talk…Now!”

      (From your wife)

1) Dear Sir, we need to talk…”

      (From the IRS)


And the bonus this week is...

“Son, we need to talk…”

(From your mom…)


Dear Hub Reader


If you enjoy this hub, please check out my book,

Homo Domesticus; A Life Interrupted By Housework,

A collection of my best writings woven into a narrative on a very strange year in my life.

Available directly from:

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/homo-domesticus/12217500

Chris


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Comments 8 comments

sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 6 years ago from Indiana

# 6 oops (from your pilot)

"We need to talk" from the same pilot.

Love the list!

Thanks, again for the laugh. You never fail to deliver!


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California Author

sueroy,

Even if no-one else reads our stuff, we have the best mutual admiration club going on here. I'll laugh at yours if you'll laugh at mine...

(I've suggested to some of my faithful followers that they need to check your site out)

We probably need large helpings of therapy, with a side of electro-shock to go...

Chris


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

Too funny - thanks for the giggles.


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California Author

Suziecat7,

Got any to add?

I thought of a nightmare scenario...

"Dad, we need to talk..." from your sixteen year old daughter.

Chris


sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 6 years ago from Indiana

lmbo!

Ok, Ok, definitely need the electric shock, but I can't help myself

"Dad we need to talk" from your sixteen year old daughter holding the car keys.

(although, in fairness, that wouldn't be nearly as bad as your scenario-unless, of course, the car that went with the keys was a Porsche.)

And thanks for the recommendation. I may never get where I'm going, but it sure is fun traveling!


quicklysilver profile image

quicklysilver 6 years ago from wexford, ireland

Opps - From your wife holding your car keys.

A few days later -'We need to talk' - From Police Officer in the Missing People department


ChrisLincoln profile image

ChrisLincoln 6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California Author

quicklysilver,

Good ones! Welcome to hubpages and thanks for the follow. Lot of great, funny, interesting people here.

Chris


quicklysilver profile image

quicklysilver 6 years ago from wexford, ireland

Thanks Chris, I'm glad I joined.

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