The Alarm Clock of Evil Incarnate


A/N: This lovely (and slightly terrifying) short story is brought to you by my high school years. I unearthed it a bit ago and decided to share because it was always one of my favorites from that time period. Do be warned though, it's rather insane... but in a good way... I think. Lol. Enjoy! :)



The alarm clock blared it's hellish morning call not far from where my head lay buried somewhere in the pillows and blankets covering my soft, warm, comfortable bed.

I was still for a moment trying to figure out in my sleep fogged mind what time it was. Hmm. Must be... let me see... if it went off at 5:30 and I hit the snooze button... was it three times?... then it would be three minutes to six. Stupid nine minute snooze button setting.

I chanced a finger outside the warmth of the bed. When the cold morning air hit it, I squeaked and pulled it back in with a hiss of annoyance.


Would that stupid clock never shut up?

"Azlfrazen!" I growled at the alarm clock.


Was the alarm clock's only reply.

I heard an odd noise like a cord coming forcibly out of the wall. I frowned as the beeping continued.

With a hiss I chucked a pillow at the clock and burrowed back down in the warm bed. I knew I needed to get up. Band was calling. But my bed was so much closer.


The beeping from the clock was becoming louder... and closer. Why was that? The pillow should have made it go further away not closer. I knew it was early but my aim wasn't that bad.


With a sound somewhere between a whine and a cry I scooted away from where the clock was but the sound followed me and seemed to be hovering over me. I gave a frustrated, if muffled yell, and threw another pillow. There was a thump as something hit the ground and for a moment there was complete silence before the beeping began even louder.


I threw another pillow. That cut me down to a mere twelve pillows. Oh that clock was going to get it! Making me waste all my wonderfully warm pillows on it simply because it wouldn't shut up!

"AAAAARRRRRRGG!" I yelled through the blankets in bitter dislike of my situation.




Something had hit me from above.


"Ow!" I swatted at it and my hand came into contact with something hard that went spinning away to hit the wall with a crash. The sound jolted me into a more wakeful state.

"Narf!" I hissed in displeasure at my new state of wakefullness. With a sigh I realized there was no hope for it. No more sleep for me, however much I hated the thought.

Taking a deep breath I let it out in a growl as I threw the blankets off. A wave of cold air hit me and I gave a pitiful cry of heart-wrenching dismay.


"AAAAHHHHH!" I yelled as my alarm clock appeared floating in midair in front of my face.

"EVIL CLOCK! EVIL CLOCK!" I screeched as I flailed, trying to escape the confines of my blankets and pillows.

I tumbled to the floor with a yell of surprise. Fortunately the majority of the pillows and blankets came with me so the landing was fairly soft.

I glared up at the alarm clock as it beeped a mocking laugh at me. That's when I noticed that it was unplugged. I cursed quietly to myself. Dang it! It had learned from the blender's mistake!

And Mo wasn't here to help me this time!

Why do inanimate objects hate me so? Especially the ones in my own house? It's not fair!


Brandishing two pillows I jumped onto my bed with a cry akin to a Xina: Warrior Princess yell and struck a fierce and intimidating pose before the clock. Pointing a pillow at it I said grandly,

"Thou shalt never ruin another morning snooze for me again ye fiend! Savvy? Now on guard ye mangy scum not fit ta call yourself an alarm clock! Arg!"

With that pirate-like cry I began to attack, laughing like a maniac. I hit it once, sending it flying into my mirror with a shattering crash, breaking the mirror into a thousand pieces. It shook it off and came at me again yelling it's war cry.


I smacked it with the other pillow and sent it spinning across the room to break my desk and damage my computer. It managed to hit me with it's cord, leaving a mark on my arm, but I hit it again and it made the hole in the wall by my bed from it's original hit larger and deeper.

As the clock rose slowly in the air again it glared at me. I grinned back and laughed.

"No inanimate object or appliance can best me! Mwahahahaha!"

beep. beep. beep. beep.

Was the sly, deadly reply.

My eyes widened as I looked at the red numbers that blinked on the face of the evil digital clock that floated in front of me.


"NO!" I yelled as I flew off the bed and threw on my clothes before sprinting out my door. I brushed my teeth, grabbed an apple which I stuck in my mouth, tossed my bags in my car and peeled out of my driveway.

Looking in my rearview mirror I saw the evil clock was still following me. I hissed at it and rolled down the window, throwing an empty plastic cup at it.


It began to hit my car with it's cord and banging itself down on my trunk.

"Stupid clock," I muttered.


For the next ten minutes or so I tried to lose it or maim it so that it would stop following me but I didn't succeed. Every time I tried something the beeping got louder until it was like the sirens of a dozen police cars behind me.



"Aaaah!" I screamed in frustration.



I rushed from my car to the door, one last ditch effort in my mind to try.

The door.

I waited with the door open as I watched the clock speed towards me.

Closer. Closer. Just a little more...


I caught it in the door. I grinned evilly at it and it shuttered in fear.







I laughed madly as I crushed the evil clock in the door. It fell to the floor in pieces. Wheels and springs and things of that sort made a little pile on the gym commons floor.

I turned around to see a group of freshmen staring at me in fear and I yelled,

"Yes freshmen, fear my awesome evil-incarnate- alarm-clock-killing powers! Mwahahaha!"

With that, I dashed to the band room door and burst in.


"You're late again. What's your excuse this time?" asked the band director.

I looked around at everyone as they stared at me. I gave them an embarrassed smile.


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Comments 10 comments

vkwok profile image

vkwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

Great story! Definitely deserved and awesome and funny.

Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 3 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Very funny and just a bit wacky. I enjoyed the imagery.

Sunny River profile image

Sunny River 3 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality Author

Thanks so much vkwok and Becky! :)

Wr1t3r profile image

Wr1t3r 3 years ago from Oregon

I loooooove it! That's how I feel when u have to get up at 4am to work a flight.

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

Brilliant and voted up.

Enjoy your day.


Sunny River profile image

Sunny River 3 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality Author

Wr1t3r, I think almost everyone can relate to this. :)

Thanks Eddy! Enjoy yours as well!

NotAnother profile image

NotAnother 3 years ago from Ohio, United States

Band practice always seemed to come too early in the morning. Great job. :)

Sunny River profile image

Sunny River 3 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality Author

Lol the early hour was extra punishment for the geeks. :P

Sueswan 3 years ago

Hi Sunny River,

Oh that dreaded alarm. I wake up to music. I will lie in bed and say to myself I will just finish listen to this song and get up. Later, I wake up to silence. Oh, no I slept in!

Voted up and funny.

Sunny River profile image

Sunny River 3 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality Author

Lol thanks for reading Sueswan! I think we all know the evils of the alarm clock. :)

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