The All out War between Hatha Yoga and Tai Chi


The all out war between Hatha Yoga and Tai Chi was bound to happen. Picture a large grassy knoll, lush and green, a bright sun overhead and all the fresh air 30 pair of lungs need. Now imagine reddened faces of two instructors simultaneously massing students at the same time in the same place.

Two instructors square off with vengeance each claiming territorial rights to the expanse of lawn. So much for peace and tranquility. Meanwhile, two groups of students stand idly by hoping for a resolution.

Quickly tiring of bickering instructors', the Hatha Yogis begin Asanas of the Sun. Not to be deterred, Tai Chi practitioners follow suit with preparatory motions.

Now the real battle begins. Serenely forming a Lotus Position sit-in, Hatha Yogis hold their ground, literally. Not to be outdone, Tai Chi practitioners step forward in White Stork Flaps Wings position. Attention is stalwartly focused: inhale slowly, exhale slowly as Yogis rise to their Mountain Pose and with purposeful movement deflect Tai Chi practitioners Grasp Bird's Tail motion, countering with a Crescent Moon Pose. Artful choreography? Or new age battle strategy?

Oblivious to the ensuing battle are two verbally conflicted instructors unaware of the real weapons of mass destruction: intensely focused, physically agile, strategically positioned students.

Tai Chi practitioners breathe deeply; exhale carefully as they strike their own Mountain movement. With limber arms outstretched into a Grasp Bird's Tail defence motion, they are firmly planted a few feet from the Hatha Yogis. The battle rages on.

Hatha Yogis in Warrior position, Tai Chi practitioners in Single Whip motion, Hatha Yogis advance with a chair pose deflecting an attempt at Fall to Repulse Monkey movement of the Tai Chi practitioners. Arms extended spines arrow-straight while doing battle lunges with exquisite balance. Hatha Yogis use a Tree Pose to avert further encroachment on their ground. In the theatre of battle, advancing in territory is what counts. Tai Chi practitioners go for it with Carry Tiger to the Mountain motion sending Hatha Yogis to their knees.

Quick thinking and a well-timed Candle Pose sends 15 pair of Yogi feet flying in the faces of grappling Tai Chi practitioners, who respond with fall to Repulse Monkey movement. An over-extended Candle pose sends Hatha Yogis back to the ground as falling Tai Chi practitioners grab at empty air.

"Students, here's what we've decided..." the Tai Chi instructor announced to fallen ranks.”We'll cancel classes for today until a better schedule can be arranged," the Hatha Yoga instructor added.

2011 Moira G Gallaga©

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SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 5 years ago from Philippines

Getting punch by a Tai Chi martial art practitioner is not a pleasant experience :)The set exercises for health may be gentle but the fighting techniques are quick and brutal.Yoga is also connected with some of India's martial arts. BTW I enjoyed this humorous spoof of martial art instructors. Some have no sense of humor and take offense when their abilities are in question :))

moiragallaga profile image

moiragallaga 5 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal Author

Thanks Silentreed, I'm glad you enjoyed reading this one. I wanted to try writing something funny and light for a change and was a bit worried about the outcome.

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