"The Beauty of the Chase is When You Crash"

What about me is beautiful?
What about me that made you fall in love?
I'm a horrible person.
Selfish, greedy...Doubtful, insecure.
Full of complaints and bitching...
Controlling. Indecisive. Unsure.
I'm naive...And a realist.
I wish upon dreams and when I get one I throw it away.
I never believe in the things that I should.
It's the things that let me down, that's where I put my faith.
I've been down this road before...
And I'm still not ready for the crash.
This time could be the death of me.
How many more times can I survive before my last?

Fire Bomb
Fire Bomb | Source

They say listen to your heart,
But my heart is torn apart...
Torn into pieces too small to put back together
Every piece just as fragile as the last.
It's like a puzzle I've yet to master,
And I don't know if I ever can.
So how can I listen to something so indecisive?
Something so broken down...
But its the strongest part of me,
The strongest organ around.
It can keep on breaking,
And maybe it'll never be whole...
But its still full of all this love it holds.
Every piece another part of the puzzle.
Every piece has its place.
Where they fit I may never know...
But that's the beauty of the Chase.

© Copyright NMJ 2012

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Comments 11 comments

iva dragostinova profile image

iva dragostinova 4 years ago from Brighton, UK

Love this, beautifully expressed and emotive.


drjasonhill01 profile image

drjasonhill01 4 years ago from Pisgah, Al

amazing. A real insight into your heart. I loved it. Every word tore at my heartstrings. Just know that more than anything you should be happy. You deserve it, so don't stop chasing. Find love wherever you can, and ill be there if you crash to help you on your feet again.


Ghaelach 4 years ago

Morning Nikki.

A beautiful Poem.

I read of young mixed up girl.

Life does get easier.

Take care Nikki.

LOL Ghaelach


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana Author

thanks Ghaelach. you read correctly. im all mixed up. and messed up lol


Jspot profile image

Jspot 4 years ago from Flames of water and love

Taking a moment to breathe before trying to say nothing. In a sense of making no sense at all I see the painful end before ever getting started. I feel much more of nothing in how you have twisted my everything. I am amazed at this. Nikki, beautiful this is.


Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa 4 years ago

Very expressive.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Well written, succinctly expressed, reveals the searching for answers, and the quiet yearning for stronger connections.


drjasonhill01 profile image

drjasonhill01 4 years ago from Pisgah, Al

Lol read this again. I cry every time i read it. I really want you to be happy. I think that's the part that hurts the most. This is expressed in such a simple yet complex way. I wish you the very best.


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana Author

wow j. i loved your comment. how ive missed you here lol. senorita, mckbirds thanks for your great comments as well.

Jason...i dont want you to cry anymore for me. truth is i cried last night...all because you no longer wanted that ticket stub. and idk things like that hit me and idk what i want right now. and idk how ill be happy or when or with who. but dont forget about me. lets get our lives together and figure out where we want to be and the rest will follow. whether its me and you in the end or not, i wish you the best as well.


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 4 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Your words are so amazing and you pitch this so wonderfully, too! Why does your writing always impress me? H'mm - you just have that affect on people!

Motto - "Feel the fear and do it anyway..."

Crossing my fingers for you! :)


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 4 years ago from Louisiana Author

Great Motto. hmm I will try to do things anyway more often. Thanks Cassie. Makes me happy that i can impress you :)

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