The Brides Mother

I found this difficult to write, not because of the love issue but getting the two things into one place in the slightly schizophrenic way that I was looking for.

The Brides Mother

I have not seen her for around ten years

That woman who shared my bed, my life.

The girl I haven’t seen for twenty five, the tears

Start sometimes when I remember her alive.

That woman I must meet again today, my worries

That harass me more than thoughts of all the lies

Still bother me; perhaps I did not strive

Enough, though it was much more than enough I gave

Far too much she took herself! Sometimes

I dream, always black and white it seems

Uncomfortable the thought I might be wrong

What if that woman and the girl that I once loved too much

Are still one, lonely all that time so long.

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Comments 25 comments

seasoning 6 years ago

i think you did well expressing this.... it was nicely done, i am sure there is far more to it, than i can see....

lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

There is emptiness here, and loss. But as seasoning said, I am sure there is more to it than that.

Thank you.

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Seasoning - If I can pull of the feeling that there is a bit more to see I would be pleased :)

Lorlie6, any ex has at least been both lover and bitch at different times I think ?

blake4d profile image

blake4d 6 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings


TheGlassSpider profile image

TheGlassSpider 6 years ago from On The Web

This reminds me of a long-time friend of mine, who also happens to be one of my favorite poets. You've managed to artfully and honestly convey a complicated tangle of events and emotions in a way that impacts the head and the heart. I love it.

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

glad you like it - I wasn't sure it worked as well s I wanted but hey - revise again another day :)

samboiam profile image

samboiam 6 years ago from Texas

Very well done. I envy your ability to express yourself the way you do.

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

thanks samboiam - did the ppt help get to grips with reading poetry?

Sab Oh profile image

Sab Oh 6 years ago

The guy who doesn't understand the difference between metaphor and simile pretending to give advice on reading poetry? LOL.

I do like your poetry, however.

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Sab oh - as you persist in trying to leave unwanted rude comments on my hubs I will answer this one. You will note that the hub How to read poetry is written by a student and I choose to leave it exactly as she wrote it - it is charming and deeply insightful in its simplicity.

Secondly, as usual when you are simply out to irritate, you do not know what you are talking about. The metaphor you claim is simile is correct. It clearly says the poem is a metaphor for 'she' - you obviously either cannot read or are blind in your ignorance. Your comments are unwelcome and any association with your name on my hubs is not useful.

Awful Poet profile image

Awful Poet 6 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

One Of The Most Touching

Pieces Ive Read In Some Time

I Adore It.

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

thanks awful poet - that is one of the most touching comments I have had !

Kishorilal 6 years ago

You put me in pressure. I kind of find myself trying to express what you have done here. Blimey!


- Kishorilal

Sunshiney31 profile image

Sunshiney31 6 years ago

Beautiful sentiment so warmly heartfelt. My mind went just were you meant it to. I think. So I enjoyed his one . Now on to more!

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Sunshiney31 - if you think it went there then that is where it was meant to go. :)

salt profile image

salt 6 years ago from australia

are those the white cliffs of dover and between the black and white are many colours bright..

alternate poet profile image

alternate poet 6 years ago Author

Hi Salt - no they are around the corner from the Dover cliffs - the other edge of the pile of chalk that is this corner of England. Joss bay I think between Margate and Ramsgate.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

You know how to paint the picture. Thanks again!

SummerSteward profile image

SummerSteward 6 years ago from Duluth MN

hmm, a poem about an evolution of a women? Perhaps? FIlled with regrets and love unrequited? I liked it very much!

valeriebelew profile image

valeriebelew 6 years ago from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA

This one is very good, easy to understand, full of emotion, and doubt. I loved this poem.

MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

Oh, how we ponder on the girl that got away, does she think of us on lonely nights when some small quirk remids her of the love we knew, is she happy, did she find that love she idealized that did not meet what we gave. it's always a puzzle left undone, and she is the missing piece to and old picture of the way we were. superb write.~~MFB III

lang58 profile image

lang58 6 years ago

Amen and may God continue to bless your gift of deep seeded writing.

PAPA-BEAR profile image

PAPA-BEAR 6 years ago from London England UK

'Still bothers me' It is those things of life that mess up, mix about in a soup, like maths, so mant directions, so many if's. Loved the way you expressed it all.

Sa`ge profile image

Sa`ge 6 years ago from Barefoot Island

love the depth of wonderment here. that split yet bring it all into one, then think about it all, then leave still in wonderment, leaving with a hole for what? I liked this one a lot. :) ~aloha~

ralwus 6 years ago

schizophrenic? not, but a fine piece of a time passed between two women, mixed emotions and a lingering bit of love mingled, i think, with some melancholy.

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