The Burden Of Love

The Unattainable Quest ~ A Lifetime Of Telling Her, Once Again, "I Love You"

I don't count myself a poet . . . perhaps a word-smith of sorts, but not a genuine poet. However, I was interested to hear what others might think of my little scratchings so I began to go through a stack of poems I've written through the years with the intent to post them here. My assumption is that some will think them almost cute, some will count them pretty lame, and most will agree with me - I am not a poet. But, as I am nearing 60, and as they are my poems, written over a lifetime, I found myself moved by them.


Some are a full page and some are merely a single phrase, but there are several recurring themes in my 'poetry'. One particular idea that is touched on year after year is my never-ending interest to express the epic nature of my love for my wife. Words are all I had - we've always lived paycheck to paycheck and I've never had the resources to do something grand for our wedding anniversaries and Valentine's Day . . . for over 40 years, year after year, all my Pixie got from me was a failed attempt to find the words that could fully convey to her what I felt in my heart. As I say, these are my expressions through many years to my wife, so I don't expect anyone else to be moved by them as they move me, but I'm curious just how they might be viewed by others.



"I Love You" #1

There's so much I want to say, like 'without you what does anything mean?',

But when I look at you I can only say 'you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen'.

I know how much I love you, and there's nothing to compare,

But every time I try to tell you, mere words leave me in despair.

As melody and lyric make song, my soul delights that it's true,

My heart to yours does belong, I can't be me without saying . . . I love you.



"I Love You" #2

Is there anything handy, some tool that I can use,

Is there some easy way to do this, anyone got any clues?

There's got to be some trick or some secret to find out,

I've got to find the words to use so you feel what I'm talking about;

I think about you when you're in my arms and when you're not around,

Your face is the most beautiful sight to me, your voice the prettiest sound;

I've told you that I love you so many times that it gives me this fear,

I dread that you can't hear it, because it goes on year after year after year.



"I Love You" #3

Once again I'm on my quest,

And I fear it will never end;

The business of life to some is real,

But I know it's all pretend.

It tries to hold my attention,

But it's my quest that grips my heart;

I never know where it may lead,

But I'll always remember it's start.

No matter how distant and far away,

Time can never erase;

The day I recklessly lifted my head,

And became a prisoner of your face.

Time after time and year after year,

My quest is for something new;

But every time it comes out the same,

Please listen again while I say "I love you".



"I Love You" #4

I'd love to take you out, but you know we'll stay at home;

I'd love to give you ten thousand roses, but you know you'll get poem.

Once Again I'll try to tell you, that nothing is above;

The way I feel when I look at you, the volume of my love.



and, just to break the heart-aching monotony . . .

I know if you don't get what you want, you'll scream and throw a fit;

Well your Valentine is that for 40 years, I've put up with all your shit.



Our house is the ugliest in house town, but I can't seem to care;

Our home is the most beautiful home around, because my Pixie is there.




MCN: W340C-9WX8V-6TD5V

  • Regular, Normal Christianity
    I believe many folks are turned off, not by authentic Christianity, but by the too often ugly, discordant, and silly religion some have concocted and falsely labeled "Christianity"
  • The Christian & Private Study - A 'How To' Guide
    You don't have to be a scholar to study Scripture effectively and you don't have to be intimidated because of unfamiliar terms and references - there are essential things you can know and aids to use that will make your own private study fruitful.

More by this Author


Comments 15 comments

K Kiss profile image

K Kiss 5 years ago from Newcastle upon Tyne, UK

Thanks for sharing. I don't know how to say this but it did move me not as an observer but because I know.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

Oh Mickey they really sucked dude, sorry.

Just kidding but it had to be done. I don't talk shit when I say these are beautiful, there is no question they came straight from your heart, you can't make people feel the way I do now-moved, wanting more unless they are true words or your a magician. Be so proud my friend you've got the label, official poet. What love you must have and to such a lucky wife.

You know Mickey, I never have had any [at all] education since the age of 13 and I am 45 now so I know nothing of great poets or even names and structures of poems. I like you write from within and those that judge may do so just no longer on my time.

I am guessing this was a big risk for you, sharing in a way outside your comport zone. Well I really do believe when we make such a selfless act we effect people. Maybe one day I'll tell you but it was no coincidence that I so desperately needed to hear or read your words tonight. you effected me and Mickey I will never forget that and it is that I thank you most for in these lovely words

ps you better have entered this in the contest!

thanks again my friend

great job

kimberly


MickeySr profile image

MickeySr 5 years ago from Hershey, Pa. Author

Kimberly,

Ok, so, you know how I love my wife so much and all . . ? . . well, I'm getting a divorce and coming to rainbowtown or wherever you say you're from - you are too gigantically sweet. I think fondness for you comes from those unspoken deep-inside what makes us the 'us' that we are kind of things . . . I virtually stopped participating in school in 7th grade and just stopped going in 10th, I too fiddled with way too many drugs for a few too many years, and I likewise have that esoterically investigatory inclination that I see in you.

But more than any manner of like-mindedness, I appreciate, enjoy, and celebrate your sweetness . . . not merely a goodness or a harmlessness, but a delight to make others happy. Thank you so much for your generous and kind words, and I do trust your honesty - though, I must admit, I still don't feel, inside, convinced that these scratchings are worthy of any esteem.

As you suggest, this is out of my comfort zone - if we talk theology, history, music, etc, I feel I'm standing on firm ground, I know what I know and I know what I don't know . . . if someone announces that The Rolling Stones are the greatest Rock band in the world, I am very comfortable providing evidence and argument to establish they fall very short of their peers Savoy Brown & (the original, with Steve Marriott) Small Faces, and in the grand sweep of Rock they can't compare to a band like Cactus, etc . . so, I am overly confident in some areas - but again, as you suggest, this was an uncomfortable risk for me, I own no such confidence regarding where I stand in a more personally creative endeavor.

Now, I will impose on you some more; your warm review has encouraged me to post some of my other efforts, not love poems, but idea, life troubles, big question, etc, poems - and since it's all your fault, you'll need to watch for them and, again, very honestly, tell me what you think . . . no 'he's a lug-nut but he loves his wife, so . . .' - these poems will have nothing to do with me being adorable because I love my wife. So, I'm counting on you to give it to me straight.

MickeySr


K9keystrokes profile image

K9keystrokes 5 years ago from Northern, California

Right from that deep place that we all seek! Oustanding and enjoyable.

Cheers~

K9


MickeySr profile image

MickeySr 5 years ago from Hershey, Pa. Author

k9keystrokes,

Thank you, genuinely, I am encouraged by every favorable review.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

these poems will have nothing to do with me being adorable because I love my wife. So, I'm counting on you to give it to me straight.

babe you know it just catching up on 2 photo hubs, then I'm all yours

btw no f@ckin charity here I DO love your work OK?


MickeySr profile image

MickeySr 5 years ago from Hershey, Pa. Author

You know that's why I'm bold enough to ask you for your time - because I trust you to be real. . . and, any oppertunity to visit with you, even webwise, I am compelled to seek.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

thanks Mickey and I am learning really cool stuff from you as well thank you


Joanne1225 profile image

Joanne1225 4 years ago from Central Pennsylvania

Mickey ~ How beautiful that you shared this part of your life and love with Pixie. For me it was a look into how your love flowered and grew, since I was there at the beginning, often giving you rides to Pixie's house, or picking you both up to go wherever it was you were going - perhaps a ride to school. I don't remember. But I DO remember the glowing and beautiful love between you two ~ both your love for her, and her love for you! Then to have lost touch over the years, then reconnect and see how this beautiful love flowered and grew, is a gift.

I thank you for allowing me to see the flowering beauty of your love that has continued, because it was right, no matter what. How very blessed you all are - all the "Haist Family!" Love to you and Pixie (or, as I used to call you, Pickey and Mixie, because you were so intertwined). ~ Joanne


MickeySr profile image

MickeySr 4 years ago from Hershey, Pa. Author

Joanne,

You're so sweet to own such fond memories of us - I'm always delighted when someone from way back when shows-up because it validates (to observers) that our love is real and enduring and forever.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

The were so beautiful. I'm sure that your wife treasures each and every word.


Civil War Bob profile image

Civil War Bob 4 years ago from Glenside, Pennsylvania

Clearly, Mickey, the "break" indicates your belief in and practice of, Total Depravity! Maybe you should give her tulips next special occasion? Grace and peace!


MickeySr profile image

MickeySr 4 years ago from Hershey, Pa. Author

Well, I don't know, how much are tulips these days? Again, she'll likely just get my own two lips (and she's already got those).

p.s.

"tulips" - wouldn't you like to know the percentage of folks who 'get' this?


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Mickey,

Your words remind me of what is good and decent. Thank you, my friend, for sharing your intimate words of love.

I honestly find them beautiful and love your openness in expressing yourself. Voted UP & ABI. Hugs, Maria


MickeySr profile image

MickeySr 4 years ago from Hershey, Pa. Author

Maria ~ thanks . . . I was, in this, speaking from the heart, without the reserve I usually employ publicly . . . I just thought about Pixie, and how I feel, and didn't consider what it was that others would read - almost an experiment for me.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working