Help those who suffered in the Credit-Crunch.
Help those who suffered in the Credit-Crunch.
At this time of crisis we are all naturally concerned about money and prices in this uncertain world.
Everyone will be tightening their belts, well almost everyone, and being careful with the pennies.
We are all worried about our future at the moment. But we would ask you to consider the plight of others in our society at this urgent time of need.
Our High Street banks desperately need your help and they need it NOW, so we would ask you to reach down into your hearts but more importantly into your pockets and give generously to this worthy cause.
Imagine how it must feel for these people. You may find it difficult. Look at the situation in Great Britain with a huge deficit, cutbacks in public services and the Exchequer being forced by the Europeans to shell out £7 billion to the Irish.
But then think of the penthouse suites, the executive boardrooms overlooking the Thames, Gentlemen's Clubs and the Golf course on a Tuesday afternoon. These may seem far away, distant places to you but these people are almost human too and they are suffering NOW.
But let us show you the real stories behind the headlines.
The shortage of food
Wilson Abercromby-Jones is an Investment Analyst with the 'Standing Charge Bank' in Westminster.
He supports a wife, 2 ex-wives and 8 children, 5 of which the Social Security know nothing about.
With the increase in fuel prices his Porsche may have to be left at home or even sold and he may suffer the degradation of using public transport.
Every day he has to drive 200 yards to the 'Chicken and Feather Bar' for his daily drink of gin and tonic and a gratefully received meal such as Cream of Watercress Soup followed by Boeuf Bourguignon á la carte. This poor unfortunate man will be forced into the humiliation of taking packed lunches to work much to the chagrin of his upmarket colleagues.
Please send money NOW to help him survive, or if you can't afford this then get a better job and earn more money, or take out a loan, if you can still get one. Otherwise you may wish to donate some food, perhaps sachets of quality soup from Marks and Spencers, cans of Caribbean crab meat and maybe also some fine tupperware boxes of various sizes.
The cold glass of reality
These people are desperate and face a harsh winter ahead. They may have to regulate their central heating systems, shop at Farmfoods or even hang around ASDA at night waiting for the special discounts. They may even be compelled to sell many of their meagre possessions. Just consider how life would be for you without that weekend yacht, the country house in the Cotswolds or the simple comfort of an evening listening to your built in stereo system whilst forgetting your worries over a game of billiards and a glass of a rare Beaujolais.
The wolves at the door
And all the time they live with the threat of marauding accountants and inspectors from the Financial Services Authority raiding their offices. At a moments notice they may be ransacking their files and fleeing with their databases, short-term selling records and evidence of insider trading.
Life is indeed fraught and the future uncertain.
So PLEASE, PLEASE help now , this is a humanitarian crisis of epic proportions that will have far reaching implications among the toffs of our United Kingdom. For we are indeed united and as Prime Minister David Cameron and Chancellor of the Axchucker George Osborne remind us "We are all in this together" albeit some of us are right in it deeper than most.
The loss of the superpower suit
Of course, the reverbrations of the Credit-Crunch affect the mightiest at home and abroad.
But don't be like the Greeks and the French, don't be like the anarchic students of England attacking our poor heavily-armed and protected Policemen. No! Stay at home and give, give, give!! Pledge your allegiance and your money.
Look at the situation in the USA. Through every fault of their own the mover and shakers, fast-pitchers and high-rollers of the financial world have brought their fortunes into the toilet. They need our help. They need your help! Cataclysmic events and natural disasters bring out the best in human beings and we want your best. We want your very best.
When you look at the budget deficit, when you watch your modest stocks plummet and prices rise, when you see the foreclosure signs and the locked factory gates remember that many of the victims cannot always be easily seen.
You may look at a smart-suited, exquisitely groomed young man strolling down Park Avenue in Manhattan and believe that he has not a care in the world. This is Jerry Studenfield. But do you know that he may have just lost that brand new Maserati he lovingly cared for. And do you know the reason why Jerry is walking down that street is that he has to collect his 2nd-hand Bugatti from two blocks away.
You may argue that unlike his British counterpart he may still have a half-decent set of wheels to get to work but this ignores the important factor of relative poverty. Because he now drives a 3 year old car he has to park the automobile away from the prying eyes of his gloating colleagues among the sports-car fashion elites. Gone are the days of the spacious and well-secured underground car park just a lift-ride from the office. Now he is forced to walk the streets, sometimes after dark and in the cold. Jerry is never sure whether his car will be still be there or even merely in one piece when he turns that corner.
What about that elegant lady wearing that chic black evening dress designed in Paris and sold at the most upmarket boutiques? As she sips a vintage champagne at the Mayor's Charity Ball you may see a young, sophisticated and wealthy young woman indulging on the largesse afforded by her handsome banking bonus.
But where is the pearl necklace that Veronica Posh used to wear around her swan-like neck? Where are the diamond earrings that adorned her head? The sparkle has gone and for now the pearls will only shine in the pawnshop jewellery cabinet unless she can rustle up some cash. But tonight she only has a glass of Bollinger for comfort through these difficult times.
The campaign so far
We spoke with Abigail Humous who is the Chairperson of Bigbux International Finance and founder of the charity D.O.W.S. which stands for 'Disaster On Wall Street' and aims to help those in need. The charity was set up to quantitatively ease the plight of the stricken unfortunates in big money circles.
"These people are the hidden victims of the Credit-Crunch" she explained, "They don't beg, they wouldn't know how to, and they don't complain. They're too proud to ask for help and too positive to bleat and moan"
Humous agreed that the almost $900 billion handout in 2008 from George Bush to the Federal Reserve was a good start. And she is delighted that Barack Obama is giving another $700 billion to be been shovelled into the furnace this year making a grand total of contributions of around $3.7 trillion according to Reuters recently.
"The money that has been donated has been really welcome and we cannot believe the incredible generosity of the American public. But more is needed. Remember that every charitable donation has to be administered and unfortunately this brings costs."
She explained the workings of handling these huge amounts of cash and how best to effectively distribute it to the most deserving;
"We have regular strategy meetings at the Sheraton and the Hilton as we believe they provide the best facilities. We also meet at business lunches at the Four Seasons in Washington and of course the Jean Georges at Donald Trumps place in New York. But sometimes it's healthy to escape the confines of the financial and political atmosphere and head to Miami for a full-scale winter conference to decide how we spend the money"
And Humous emphasises that many hedge-fund managers and even the most successful day-traders are still struggling to book that second holiday in the Caribbean. More still needs to be done.
Needless to say all this has still managed to arouse anger in the usual circles.
On Capitol Hill Ron Paul is appalled and Dennis Kucinich even managed to misspell his surname when he signed a Congressional motion opposing the plans.
In the UK radical Labour MP Tony Chatter was particularly forthright;
"And if all this hasn't convinced you to support the banks then just remember the fat-cat greedy bastards have got your knackers in a vice anyway.
Because if those scumbags go down then your employers go down and you're out of a job. Then it'll be 'Boys From the Blackstuff' again while all of us will be in the brown stuff".
Or as comedian Johnny Chump said on TV;
"So, at the next election VOTE Monster Raving Loony Party, an oasis of sanity in a world of madness."
Such callous disregard for their fellow human beings. But I am sure that you will all agree that everyone needs to help, so dig deep and spread the word. Time to pull together, give them a lift up and keep the banks in the manner to which they've always been accustomed. Let's see queues around the block, let's see the website hits and get that cash in the vaults.
Read more blustering campaign Hubs by Shinkicker
- The Top Hollywood Scandals: An Animated Controversy
Not since Fatty Arbuckle's infamous Hollywood parties in the 1920's has there been such a flurry of debate about the morals and behaviour of some of the biggest names in Tinsel Town.
- National Charity Appeal for the K6 Red Jubilee Telephone Box
This week has been specially nominated as 'Red Telephone Box Awareness Week' when we are asked to spare...
- Sponsor the World : How to Produce Effective Advertising
Adverts, Adverts everywhere and dont you stop to think!! Of all the things that bother me most about modern life, intrusive advertising has...
- Sarah Palin for President 2012 : A United Opposition
The rumours of Sarah Palin quest for the nomination as 2012 Presidential candidate for the Republican...
- Bring Back 'It's a Knockout' : Les Jeux Sans Frontieres, n'est pas?
I dare you not to laugh at these crazy videos, in fact I double dare you not to laugh. These are just some examples from a collection that...
More by this Author
There's been a murder. Read about the graverobbers and the Glasgow Frankenstein of 1818. How did the Kelvin temperature scale get its name? Celebrity hangings and poisoned lovers, Queen Victoria and Charles Rennie...
Spoof report on the standards of interior decoration in police interrogation facilities across the USA
A virtual tour around one of the great Italian Lakes. One of the best you will find online. Detailed, informal and humorous, it summarises the best resorts on Lake Garda from someone who has lived there and enjoyed its...