The Day My World Changed~Part 3~

It has taken me a few weeks to muster up the strength to write the continuation of, 'The Day My World Changed' parts 1 and 2. As you read this, I'm sure it will become evident to you the strength I needed to do this. From the comments I have received thus far, I see that I have touched many lives in the process. I hope to touch many more. I know even more so now than I did before, that there are those out there who need to hear what I have to say. May this impact you in such a way that it will make a difference in your life. For those of you who may have been abused in one way or another, to know that you are not alone. And for those of you who know of someone who has been abused, to say a prayer for them and reach out and care. And for those of you who haven't been, you are blessed. And for those of you who don't know of anyone who has been, please say a prayer for those who battle this. And for those of you who really don't care, may God help you.

This Is Truly The Day My World Changed

I got into the car,

And closed the door.

A thought came to mind,

"What am I even here for"?


I ran away from home,

To get rid of the strife.

But living like this,

Is no kind of life.


My friend who was driving,

I tried to explain,

And tell them what happened,

But it was to no gain.


All I got was, "Oh well,

You're not there anymore".

There voice was so cold,

And hard to the core.


Did I just hear right?

Doesn't he even care?

As I looked at him,

All I got was a glare.


I sat there in silence,

Not wanting to speak.

I felt like my whole world,

Was more dismal and bleak.


Is anybody out there?

Does anybody care?

Would anyone want to help me?

Would anyone even dare?


He drove to the downtown,

YMCA,

And paid for a room,

For the night to stay.


I ran to the bathroom,

And got in the shower.

And turned on the water,

And stayed for an hour.


I felt so filthy,

And wanted relief.

From this horrible feeling,

Of sickening grief.


I scrubbed and I scrubbed,

And I scrubbed even more.

I then had to stop,

For my skin was now sore.


I went in the other,

Room and sat down.

My heart was so heavy,

With no smile... just a frown.


The look on my face,

Must have said it all.

He asked if I missed home,

And if I wanted to make a call.


From the way he had acted,

When I first ran away.

I couldn't have contact,

With my family... No way!!


To call my family,

Would be a delight.

Not a lot of love there,

But it's better than all this fright!


My sister answered,

And said, "Where are you?"

She's so glad to hear,

From me out of the blue.


He was right there,

Hearing every word she said.

The way that he looked,

Filled me with more dread.


He motioned to me,

Not to tell her at all,

As to where I was at,

And to end the call.


He hung up on me,

So the call they can't trace.

And here I sat crying,

In this horrible place.


I didn't sleep well,

That night.

Knowing my chance of escape,

Was now out of sight.


He said in the morning,

"Get dressed let's get out,

I'm taking you home now",

He said with a shout.


I couldn't get dressed,

Fast enough, for you see,

I wanted so bad,

From this hell to be free!


He drove me to,

The corner of my street.

Then just left and took off,

My family not to meet.


My Dad called the cops,

And the search was than started,

To try to find the two,

Who are downright cold hearted.


We searched and we searched,

And we searched even more.

But the apartment I couldn't find,

That place filled with horror.


As time went on,

I wasn't feeling very good.

I didn't know what was wrong,

I just didn't feel like I should.


I would feel fine one minute,

Than the next be so sick.

It would come out of nowhere,

And just hit me so quick.


A test was then taken,

To see what was wrong.

To get the results,

Didn't take very long.


I had to go in,

For a doctor to see.

And get an exam,

To see what it could be.


The doctor came in,

And said without a doubt,

You are 6 1/2 months pregnant,

I just wanted to shout!


My step mom found out,

And she was irate!

She had then made the plans,

For a terrible fate.


She told me that she,

Planned an abortion for me.

And there is no way out,

No way to be free.


"What an abortion"?

It sounds like its bad.

Just the feeling I'm getting,

Is making me sad.


A week later on,

To the hospital I was sent.

And wheeled into a room,

An ultrasound machine, and a gent.


I laid on the bed,

Wanting to see,

What the man was watching,

While he put a needle in me.


I asked him,

"What is on that screen"?

He looked at me,

And said very mean,

"Shut up and be quiet,

You don't need to see!"


It hurt to have,

The needle in there!

But I couldn't say anything,

He didn't care.


The fluid was taken,

From my watery sac,

And a saline solution,

Was injected back.


They gave me an IV,

And put me in a room.

Everything around me,

Just felt like doom and gloom.


Two days later,

The pain was so bad,

It was the worst,

That I've ever had.


Six nurses came in,

And 'round my bed they did stand,

Three on each side,

To give each other a hand.


I felt the urge,

That I needed to push.

But the nurses just yelled,

And said, "What's your rush"?


I then looked down,

And to my dismay,

Were tiny little feet,

Coming out halfway.


Then there were the arms,

So tiny and small,

I counted toes and fingers,

She had them all.


But her head was still stuck,

And I wanted her out.

But when I tried to push,

All the nurses did was shout.


"Why are you pushing"?

"What is the need?"

All I could think was,

What a horrible deed!!


One grabbed an arm,

Then just let it drop.

Then another grabbed a leg,

And just let it flop.


The reason they did this,

I wondered why,

Was to see if she's living,

Or if she would die.


Her head then popped out,

I felt pain relief,

But then it was nothing,

But horror and grief!!


The cord was then cut,

And she was now out.

No movement she made,

I knew without doubt...


She wasn't alive,

No crying at all.

A doctor than came,

From down the hall.


He entered the room,

And over to me,

With a look on his face,

As cold as can be.


He got a small bowl,

And without a care,

Took her tiny body,

And placed it in there.


Head and feet first,

All scrunched up so tight,

Then took her away,

Out of my sight.


I started to bleed,

As if to no end.

Got wheeled into OR,

For my insides to mend.


I woke up next day,

And a doctor came in.

Asked how I was doing,

With a smirk and a grin.


He then started telling me,

The problems she had.

It all made my heart,

Much more heavier and sad.


She would have been blind,

From STD's I received,

I laid there and cried,

And my heart it just grieved.


Six shots in my stomach,

And four in my back.

Compassion and mercy,

They really did lack.


He then went on,

She's half black and half white,

It was the guys that raped me,

That horrific night!


I gave her a name,

As pretty as can be.

Rebecca Hope was my choice,

And someday I shall see,

Her dancing in Heaven,

With Jesus above,

Enfolded in His arms,

And resting in His love.

Forgiveness Is The Key

There are many times in life when we are wronged in one way or another. Some are worse than others. How are we going to react to these offenses that come our way? Are we going to harbor anger, bitterness, rage, revenge, hatred... the list goes on and on. Or, are we going to forgive the person/people who have wronged us?

Colossians 3:13 ~ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Have you ever wronged someone? We all have. We are all guilty because we are all human beings and we make mistakes. It's what you do in regards to the offense that makes the difference. I was mad for the longest time as to what happened to me in this time in my life. For years I carried it around with me. The anger, the bitterness, the resentment, the sadness of losing a child in such an awful way, on and on it goes. But what good does it do me to harbor all of this inside? None at all.

I chose years ago to give it all to God. There was no way I could get rid of it all on my own. No matter how I tried, it was always there. But once I put it all in God's Hands, that's when I experienced freedom. Freedom from all of the hurt and loss. He gave me joy instead and peace. I know someday I will be reunited with my daughter and it will be a glorious day indeed!

If you have been abused or hurt in some way, please choose to forgive. Life is so short and it's not worth the time or effort it takes to live miserably. I'm so glad I chose to forgive. I wouldn't trade the freedom I experience for anything!

I hope through sharing this that I have touched many lives in a positive way. May God bless you!

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Comments 31 comments

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Field of Flowers...I experienced so many different emotions reading this that I am speechless. It's rare for me to speechless. I can't imagine what you were feeling while writing this. You are an amazing woman. Rebecca Hope is watching over you (I believe so). Thank you for opening your heart to us because by doing so you'll be able to help someone else. My heart goes out to you. Keep on hubbin'! :)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

I'm glad that you are sharing a message of forgiveness. Your experience was terrible but your poetry recounting your pain and loss is inspirational. Thank you.


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Sunshine625 thank you for your wonderful comments. I am glad that I was able to touch your life. Making someone speechless... I am honored, and humbled. I hope to touch many more and help those who need it. Thank you for your kindness. I'll see Rebecca someday... that's where the 'Hope' comes from.

Have a great day, God bless & I'll keep on hubbin'! :-)


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi sligobay thank you so much for following my story. Forgiveness is the key to being set free. I'm so glad that I was able to inspire you... it makes my heart smile. May this be an inspiration to all who read it.

You are more than welcome. May you have a great day and God bless! :-)


Terishere profile image

Terishere 5 years ago

Field of Flowers, what a moving and powerful piece you have written here. I couldn't stop reading!

You are a strong woman! And yes, forgiveness is key to being set free!

Terri


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Terishere thank you for your encouraging words!! I am so glad that it touched you.

My strength comes from God. On my own, forget that!

Forgiveness is the key that opens the door to peace of mind.

Have a great day and God bless you my friend! :-)


Maralexa profile image

Maralexa 5 years ago from Vancouver, Canada and San Jose del Cabo, Mexico

Fiel of Flowers, what a courageous thing to do -- to write about such a life changing experience. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing. It helps to set me free too.

Maralexa


writer20 profile image

writer20 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

This is a very moving piece. I glad your happy now.


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Maralexa thank you so much for commenting. I write this in hopes of helping others. I see that I accomplished this with you. For this, I am truly touched and honored to have done so. You are more than welcome. It is my pleasure to help others heal.

Have a great day and God bless you my friend! :-)


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi writer20 thank you for your encouraging comment. I'm glad I'm happy too. I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Have a great day and God bless! :-)


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

A very emotional heart rendering hub. I hope writing this will help in the healing process.

Stay happy and take care


wildove5 profile image

wildove5 5 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

I am sitting here with my mouth open and my heart heavy! I pray that your healing and strength continue to grow and your reunion with your daughter be glorious in deed!


Eddie-Perkins 5 years ago

Wonderful conclusion and application – oh how we need to forgive. God bless you.


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Rosemay50 thank you for taking the time to read it and comment. I'm glad to hear it touched your heart, hopefully in a positive way. I write this in hopes of helping those that need healing will be able to find it.

I will stay happy... happiness is a choice and I choose it! Have a great day and God bless! :-)


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

I agree with Sunshine--so many emotions. Shock, horror at the careless way you and your daughter were treated, and finally, tears of grief and anger at the end. I hate what you had to go through, but I am impressed and humbled by your ability to forgive. I hope you are healing, and I'm sure you are helping to heal others. God bless you, Field-of-Flowers.


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 5 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

Field-of-flowers, I am truly moved by your hub. This must have taken so much strength to write, and I can see that you are a very strong and wonderful person to be able to offer this gift of forgiveness.

Cloverleaf.


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Victoria Lynn thank you for your wonderful comments. It was worse than horrible... I can't find the right words in the English language to describe what I went through. Even so, a person has to be able to forgive in order to get the healing needed to go on in life. I choose to have a ball and chain on me and walk around with it. But that ball and chain got heavy really fast. It weighed me down. I chose to take that ball and chain off because I realized what it was doing to me... inside. The anger, the bitterness,the loss, not wanting to forgive... on and on with a huge gamut of emotions and feelings. It was robbing me of happiness. I gave it all to God and he replaced all of the hurt with His love.

Sure the memories are still there. They always will be. The only difference is now it doesn't hurt.

If I can't forgive those who have hurt me, how can God forgive me? I choose forgiveness and freedom. It's much more peaceful and it feels better to smile than to cry!

My daughter is in a much better place than I am. She's with God. It doesn't get any better than that. I'll see her someday. That's why her middle name is Hope. The hope of seeing her.

It would be great if more people would choose to forgive those who have wronged them in life.

I'm glad this touched your heart. May it have been for the better. I hope I can help heal many.

Have a great day and God bless you too! :-)


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Cloverleaf thank you so much for your kind words to me.

Yes, it took a lot of strength and courage to write this. It took everything I had within me to do it. It's great to know this is touching hearts. May it continue to do so. And for those who need to be healed of abuse, may they find it... in God. There's nothing like freedom in forgiveness.

Have a great day and God bless! :-)


Tamarajo profile image

Tamarajo 5 years ago from Southern Minnesota

Wow. I am moved and touched by your story. I am so glad you found God the only one who can help and heal us from all of these things.

Your story is tragic (events) and beautiful (your recovery from) all at the same time.

You are a testimony of His love and goodness. Beautiful.


justateacher profile image

justateacher 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

What a horrible, scary, awful nightmare you went through...it is wonderful that you could find a way to forgive...you are right that your daughter is in a much better place...sitting at the side of God waiting for you to come see here some day...wonderful writing...


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Tamarajo thank you for your kind words to me. I am glad to hear that it has an impact on your heart. May it be for the better. I can't agree more with you in the fact that God is the only one who can heal all of the hurts we have in our lives.

You just blessed me with saying that I am a testimony of His love and goodness. May I continue to do so....

Have a great day and God bless! :-)


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi wildove5 thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I see that it made an impression on you...

Someday I will be able to see my daughter and a glorious day it will be. My healing and strength come from God.

Have a great day and God bless! :-)


sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

There is so much empathy and love expressed in the comments which your courage has inspired. Thank you.


MicheleLynn profile image

MicheleLynn 5 years ago from Wilmington , NC

amazing.... there are no words...


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi Eddie-Perkins thank you for stopping by. Forgiveness is important and a vital necessity in life. Without it, we will just live in bitterness, resentment, hurt, anger and a lot of other emotions that will just drag us down. Not being able to forgive can also affect your health as well. I'm glad it touched your life.

Have a great day and God bless you too! :-)


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi sligobay thank you for commenting again... you refresh me! May my courage inspire many more...

You are welcome my friend. It was a horrible situation I had to endure, but I hope to bring healing to those who so desperately need it.

Have a great day and God bless! :-)


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi MicheleLynn thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I thoroughly understand. Sometimes I even think.... there are no words....


femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

Flowers, my admiration for the continued courage you're maintaining with the posting of the hubs regarding such a difficult situation.

You are doing just what you hoped to achieve. Sharing your story and helping others find encouragement and healing as you write.


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi femmeflashpoint thank you for your kind and encouraging words to me!

It gives me joy in my heart knowing that I am accomplishing the art of touching the lives of others. That's all I want to do... is make a difference for the better.

Have a great day and God bless! :-)


FriendofTruth profile image

FriendofTruth 5 years ago from Michigan

I read all three of your articles in this series, and it has been such a blessing. I mean, I cried and felt saddness for what you've gone through, and I am so happy that you found the LORD to help you heal and to forgive. I think when we share our experiences, it helps to heal others too - and you've done this beautifully.

Blessings Field of Flowers


Field-Of-Flowers profile image

Field-Of-Flowers 5 years ago from Midwest, USA Author

Hi FriendofTruth thank you for taking the time to read all three. It touches my heart knowing it is a blessing to you. You encourage me, and for this I'm grateful.

I hope through my writings that I will be a blessing to many more and hopefully bring healing to them as well.

Thank you for your kind words.

Have a great day and God bless! :-)

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