The Disease To Please

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Frustrations of a Pleaser

This morning I woke up with the inspiration to write this poem. It speaks for itself, at least I hope so. This poem is written in the first person for effect.

I was not born with but acquired this disease;

The all consuming disease of everyone to please.

Even when I'm faced with discontent and dis-ease

My desires I consider to be the lease.

Family and friends expect me to be nothing but good;

And act according as they wish.

The universe guides me as it should

But all I feel is out of water like a fish.

I know that you are not filled with despair

That I struggle with this disease to please;

You do not expect from me much flair.

Instead you see the failures with tremendous ease.

Achievements and rewards are not in the cards.

So I won't disappoint - mediocre is the game;

Staying below the radar I march towards

The endless cycles of despair and blame.

Others' needs I place before my own;

Give me more of you they constantly demand.

From all this drudgery I wish I've flown

But instead I stay and did as you command.

No gratitude or appreciation come my way

Although I burn the candles at both ends.

Suddenly beneath the mire I see a ray

Of hope and some of my woes it mends.

Experience is the teacher of wisdom

But how long do I have to be a student?

I am the Master of my Kingdom;

I affirm myself as wise and prudent.

I've had enough of this sad affair

So this disease I'll no longer keep.

I'll put me first; against your vice I'm austere

And of your brassy moods I no longer weep.

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Comments 20 comments

quicksand profile image

quicksand 5 years ago

Voted! ... Awesome too.

Cheers!


BlissfulWriter profile image

BlissfulWriter 5 years ago

Quite nice. I like the rhyme. The "disease to please" is not all bad. People with the disease to please just means that they have empathy. It just means they like to help other people -- not so bad at all.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

quicksand, thanks so much for your comment. Good to hear from you.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Blissfulwriter, thanks for your visit and your comment. You are right; the disease to please is not all bad, it is when it's taken to the extreme that it becomes a problem. We need each other and so there must be some reciprocity to reduce the frustraions of the pleaser. The pleaser also needs to become aware of a balance. Do not discount him/herself.

You can give more effectively to others from a place of refill/rejuvenation.

The lesson here is: Pleasers take care of yourself...


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain

Great hub. Too many people suffer from this disease.You are not fair on yourself. I hope you manage to change.You´ll still be a lovely person just not ´´walked on´´


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Dim Flaxenwick, learning to be assertive without being aggressive is an art and I'm still in the learning stage. Though I must say that I'm not a pleaser as I might think I am. I am not afraid to say "no" to all the garbage that gets thrown my way. I suppose with age and experience it gets better.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California

How beautiful DynamicS! How many of us does this fit? I dare say many. I really, really loved this. Voted up!


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

fastfreta, thanks for your visit. As always I appreciate your comment. Indeed, many of us women have this didease to please. We even want to please people who don't care and respect us. We have been socialized to put others before ourselves; men don't really have this problem. So as women we must de-construct this notion of putting ourselves last. If we don't take care of self, who will?


Pixienot profile image

Pixienot 5 years ago from Clarksville, Indiana

DynamicS,

I'm not sure that your poem really conveys what you meant it to. However, your comments certainly do and I applaud you for recognizing this low self-esteem disease that indeed has been forced upon us since childhood.

You will do fine!

Voted up!


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Pixienot, thanks for your comments. This poem expresses the feelings of a person who allows others and circumstances to take priority over his/her needs. Its about a person who cannot stand up for him//herself and who is pushed along by everything and everyone because he/she wants to be liked. It's about ignoring your intuition and responsibility to take care of self - to fill up one's vessel to be able to help others fill theirs.

Finally, it's about awakening to the knowledge that each is important, valuable and matters. And recognizing people and circumstances for what they are


Moon Daisy profile image

Moon Daisy 5 years ago from London

Thank you for this poem. It's difficult not to lose yourself when you have this disease. I like the optimistic, stronger end to the poem. Thumbs up!


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Thanks Moon Daisy, you're so kind. This poem speaks to many women who put others before ourselves. But we are awakening to the idea that we have to put self in the picture as well. So I see more and more women taking care of themselves- eating right, exercising, reducing stress, sleeping more and just taking time to be themselves. Now isn't that preservation of the human race!


deestew profile image

deestew 5 years ago from Kentucky

Putting others before ourselves can be a disease. I never really thought of it that way but your poem points this out truthfully. I think that when we have so many roles...wife, mother, friend, coworker,etc. Its so hard to carve out the space that was designed and created just for ourselves. It is a process for us to reclaim the territory of our own lives. Thank you for sharing your inspiration.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

deestew, thanks for your visit and your comment. While we have many roles, we need to take time for ourself. To be in the moment and consider our feelings and needs. That is not always easy to do but the more we do that the more we are getting rid of the disease to please. We validate ourself and put ourself on the priority list.

Have a blessed day.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

Very good, I think it fits many.

Polly


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Thanks Pollyannalana. I appreciate your comment. Indeed many of us will die from this disease. I hope we all find a cure.

Take care.


milotskie profile image

milotskie 4 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates

I can totally relate to this. Thanks for sharing it to us.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

milotskie, thanks for your visit and for leaving a comment. This disease to please can be fatal to our welbeing; we have to rid ourselves of it. We should just "be" who were are - not try to please anyone. That is too much pressure on ourself.

Have a stress free day.


Michael Beskalis profile image

Michael Beskalis 3 years ago from San Francisco

voted up up up. wow. its amazing why are so many us are driven to please even when it hurts? we put put us behind us just to please others. we sacrifice and live lifetimes to just please. thank you for writing.


mabelhenry profile image

mabelhenry 3 years ago from Harrisburlg, Pennsylvania

The need to please is healed by the ointment we call support from those we try to please. It is not always the one seeking to please someone's disease, it could very well be those they seek to please. Pleasers need support and to know that they are valued, and that minimizes the need to please anyone other than God, because He looks beyond our faults and sees our need, that it is really to be pleasing to Him. Beautiful true to life poem.

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