The Dream/The Nightmare/The Reality

The Dream

My world is spinning out of control and I don't know which way I should go
Time and time and time again
Why can't I find the way I think I know
Telling folks I know the way
I see it in front of me every day
To good for the place you wanna be
How am I supposed to make a change if I don't show me
Today
Today
Today
Relying on people to tell me how to get to a place
They cannot see
Waiting for their efforts in me
Believe what I believe
You can change it
It's free
Free thought
Free Love
Free giving
To all who need
Trying to figure out how to live my dream
I just want to be what I am today
Why can't you Love me this way
This season's changing
I hear what you're saying
Why am I that easy to leave
Sitting here staring at lights
I'm blind
Sitting here scared of the nights
I'm fine
I've been here before
And I know it'll be alright
All I got to do is fight
Again
And then
Again
And stand
As strong as I am
Even though I don't understand
Why realty doesn't catch my pace
It's times like these when I see why I'm undone
It's times like these when I see why I'm one
It's times like these when I fight being done
Done with me
Done with the breeze
That lets me know I'm alive and free
To breathe what's in front of me
You could give more but I could give less
If you only knew the hole in my chest
That bleeds and dreams of the end out of sight
It's the pain that give me strength to fight
The mountain illuminates in the morning grey
Clouds rolling low keeping the sun away
Different parts of me believing
The tree reaching for the sun I can't see
Dripping rain from it's leaves
Thankful for the skies
Thankful for the cries
Thankful for the strife that lets me love this life
More deeply
I'm sleepy
Now I'm tired but my soul is on fire
With a passion for this world and life
Even if it's the one I don't want to be mine
And in this time there is a line I can not walk as the music plays
and stirs me in a way
It's hard to explain with the words of everyday
It's hard to explain the happiness if you haven't seen the pain
And felt the rumble of your soul as you ride with the train
Screaming down the mountain connected to a path
Trying to pick up speed and hop the track
Making your own way
Flowing through the trees like the stream that feeds your soul convincing
you to be free
Free of this world we've made
Free of the graves
Free of the way we make ourselves slaves
I wish I could bring you with me to this place
The sky opens up as I close my eyes and see your face
Smiling back at me as I give chase
Chasing a dream
Chasing the sound of your voice in the morning
Chasing the way you look at me
Chasing the happiness this dream brings

All I want is for you to be
All you have to do is open your eyes and see
Me
The bum on the street
Hiding behind his dreams
Epiphanies and whiskey
He can change the world when he's on his feet
He can feed his soul when he has something to eat

The Nightmare

Nightmares abound lately
In the woods on a retreat
Open forest creating
Possibilities
Unfettered
Imagination
Freedom of thought and action tragedy
Disbelief in me she's leaving me
Left
Gone
Reminded by phone calls saying she's here with me but your not you're gone
I'm too rough around the edges and broken in the middle
I'm not that man you can change
I just needed the freedom to get back to me
Free
Spirited
Believing in me was all I needed you to be
I'm not successful but now that the futures looks green your interest is
peaked and you want to be in the next scene
I just want happiness
The circumstance
To create freedom to feel I can Love someone and excited to give all of me

All I want is for you to be
All you have to do is open your eyes and see
Me
The bum on the street
Hiding behind his dreams
Epiphanies and whiskey
He can change the world when he's on his feet
He can feed his soul when he has something to eat

The Reality

Stinking and sweaty the weeds scattered across my body
No longer filling my brain
The sun shines down cooking the cigarettes from my veins
Ripped out the walls and burned the piles heat seared my face
Singed my hair burnt my fingers I'm red hot glowing cause my soul is
no longer living in disgrace
I'm outta that place
A different ride
A different stride
I've changed my pace tomorrow is another day
No it isn't
Right now
Today
No longer running away the past is a lion clawing at my brain in the woods
In the bushes covered in dirty memories
Birds
Pecking at my eyes covered in bloodied words
Suffocating as my lungs rot away
I reached up
Grabbed my hand
Pulled me up stumbled to a cliff and fell off
Drowned in a river that washed the death away
Looking at my reflection for the first time in years
Looking in my eyes smiles no fears
Remembering the sadness with different tears
Running on the banks
Cashed my checks
Said my thanks
Said goodbye
Now I'm back still no green in my pocket but now I know my future's wide
Open
Throttle
Up straight ahead
Old wheels
Worn heels
Empty pockets cause my dollar is in the tank getting me as far as I can go
till I get a little more
Chicken scratch off the floor
Picking up nickels this is my 401K
This is how I save
Complicated poverty this is how I kept myself a slave
A jar full of weed and change
Now I'm back to the positive so much packed into my brain
Exploding on paper
Excited to live
Excited to give what's been stored up inside
For all these years wanting to scream it into a mic and drown out your 
oh too real fears
I know what it's like with no room in your soul
Can't stretch your legs
Your mind filled with dregs
All you can do is survive
Deep down you know you're just biding your time
Waiting around
For the no sights and no sounds
No goals
The future hounds you with a hole in the ground
This is not the way it has to be
No more cold
No more hunger
Open the door of your dark box let the sun in and look around
Look back reach down
Grab your hand and pull yourself out of the ground
Here we go speeding down the same road we were rotting next to a lifetime
ago
Rain washing away the past
Behind us
Wind drowning out screams of what we thought of us
When we used to ride the bus
Busted dreams
Busted seams
A busted watch and ripped jeans
Now we're in the moment of tomorrow
Positive we can overcome the sorrow
Sketching a dream of what's to follow
Grains fall through the glass
Pen in my hand 
Break it open and draw a line in the sand
No going back even though I know I can

All I want is for you to be
All you have to do is open your eyes and see
Me
The bum on the street
Hiding behind his dreams
Epiphanies and whiskey
He can change the world when he's on his feet
He can feed his soul when he has something to eat

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