Chasing My Lovely Phantom Lover Ends

The lovely April Stevens had a very successful solo career
The lovely April Stevens had a very successful solo career | Source
I am completely melted with appreciation for April Stevens.
I am completely melted with appreciation for April Stevens. | Source
Stevens eyes remind me of my Phantom Lover
Stevens eyes remind me of my Phantom Lover | Source
 April and Nino during a publicity shot  in 1965
April and Nino during a publicity shot in 1965 | Source
Just one of April Stevens' hits in her long career
Just one of April Stevens' hits in her long career | Source
April Stevens and brother Nino Tempo
April Stevens and brother Nino Tempo | Source
Stevens and Tempo turned out one hit after the other
Stevens and Tempo turned out one hit after the other | Source
The enduring duet
The enduring duet | Source
 In 1961 Nino had a cameo  in Breakfast At Tiffany's
In 1961 Nino had a cameo in Breakfast At Tiffany's | Source
Even in her latter years, April Stevens was as gorgeous as she was in 1961
Even in her latter years, April Stevens was as gorgeous as she was in 1961 | Source
Stevens at home in  the recording studio
Stevens at home in the recording studio | Source

Almost six years ago, I joined HubPages. I cannot remember my first hub. I do hope to remember this one. In my six years time there is one thing that I have learned: there is an exact science in the designing and creating of a hub. The piece must be able to stand tested against guidelines, silent criticism and muffled praise it creates. That is a science that I understand. And yet, I know that it is what lies beneath Literary Science or any type of science that is the "foe" I've fought, chased, and grieved over since 1967. I did find out that my trek to seek her presence had bloodshed, gore and guts in the foggy, deceptive fairy tale stairway that leads down a sugary incline that without warning will turn to darkness wet, damp and seething with evil hands, eyes, icy breath from the abode from which I have either hid from or been chasing "her" shadow and that defined means, "the" girl I would have met, loved, adored, worshiped and possibly died for. Once in the summer of 1967, I saw "her" shadow as plain as the green grass in my yard. I knew it was "her" by her smile and how she didn't allow me to touch her or speak. Her appearing and vanishing, if measured, were faster than the twinkling of an eye.

"The" one, the only girl, purest of femininity in phantom form seemingly became my challenge. She was always in and out of sight like quicksilver, quick, shrewd and all the time smiling that Gypsy smile letting her full lips beckon me to just crawl into her presence liken to that of a starving lizard in the sweltry summer in Spain. Then in the twinkle of a moment "she" would leave for an uncertain measure of time. I would feel her touching my mortal heart causing the rhythm itself to slow, then surge. It wasn't until I came face-to-face with her again in 1971 that I saw more of the frozen gown she wore on her body that defined the word, "perfection." She stood gazing, silently smiling at me as I tried in vain to hide my trembling heart. Then she vanished either into or behind my dearest female friend who is still around.

After my dearest female friend and I graduated, I lost "her" trail, as it were, as if she were able to walk on clouds. It wasn't for Fate to move her into my view until a day or so ago when I was playing a dusty recording: "Deep Purple," by 60's brother and sister duo, the lovely April Stevens and Nino Tempo, I saw "her" again in the eyes of April Stevens. Yes, I saw my Phantom Lover-to-be in a slowed glimpse. I know that you, the reader, are drawing the possibly-true conclusion that I am bordering on insanity, but so what if I am? Some of this cold world's most creative people were walking around insane dressed in a beggar's cape or a monk's robe. This, my friend, I can prove.

Laugh if you like. Only God in His infinite existence can allow such a spirit as "her," the phantom lover to hurt me over and over at will. When I do reach the end of this hub, I will either drift downward into "her" hiding place well protected in a volcano wall somewhere in Malaysia. Or I will sit with apathy coursing through my veins and wait for "her" to end her trek of eluding and being an illusion to me.

So my sweet, Phantom Lover always within reach and always hiding underneath my next horizon, I surrender to you unconditionally. I am tired of watching my life drain down the sides of an Oak barrel that sits in the drip of an old house. Oh, my life's blood is what medical science (what a joke) call it, but with my cloak of peace, "apathy," I can enjoy what few moments I have saved for myself as I watch myself, now a ghostly image staring at and speaking in muted tones at me and I feel pity at how "she" has all but destroyed me.

I dare myself to stand on a brittle marble ledge while viewing minstrels, damsels in perfect dance, and platoons of faceless warriors with death in one hand and vengeance in the other all marching in perfection to my laughing eyes. Why can't this brittle ledge just collapse and allow my soul to be loose to fly to its blurry destination?

Let me talk for a moment while I wait for "her" to show up to see the final stand I am now making and to preserve what? To let what continue onward? Do you know? I don't. I ceased knowing years ago in a dusty promise with emptied glass smashed harshly upon a forgotten cowpoke's drinking table. But now I wonder if "she"is just counting the jealous moments, the free moments, until "she" appears in stolen light wearing a martyred whore's silky saloon dress to further show me pictures in her brown eyes of how much joy I have never touched much less found.

I should have grasped what "she" was scheming when I first read the lyrics to "Deep Purple," and "she" had taken up residence in those summertime supposedly first-time lover's lyrics. How greedy could this beauty be? But yet, to be fair, how smooth and soft to the touch could her shoulders be? Now I can only rest on a guess and an empty assumption at both.

My how she could tease with purple lightning bolts dancing inside her endless Gypsy brown eyes. "She" came slowly crawling onto my bed when I was in innocence as my mother's child. Like a non-poisonous serpent, friend to the farmer, "she" had the trolls fooled. "She" had my family (then) fooled also as she let her razors sink into my back in a painless motion. And my back had yet to have strength to bear the burdens that life was to cast at my feet. But did "she" whisper once, "sweetie, I will be your lover?" I despise the answer.

Now it's really a tough burden to describe. It's like "her" mimicking April Stevens' every word knowing that "it" was "the" illusive feeling that I not only needed, but sought like a fool riding a sword into a storm.

Phantom Lover-That-Was, I can go no further. I lay here in calm remission. Do what you will for it will not hurt me anymore. My dear dressed in fadeless brunette, there are literally no places inside me left to hurt. The easel is covered. Yes, covered although tattered.

That, my sweet lover now gone, will stand.

April Stevens and her brother, Nino Tempo scored a huge hit in 1961 with "Deep Purple," that is still being played on FM Oldies stations today
April Stevens and her brother, Nino Tempo scored a huge hit in 1961 with "Deep Purple," that is still being played on FM Oldies stations today | Source

Listen to the lyrics

© 2016 Kenneth Avery

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Comments 26 comments

DreamerMeg profile image

DreamerMeg 2 months ago from Northern Ireland

That was some lovely writing. I read it over twice to see if I understood it correctly? I think you are dreaming of the "Spirit of Woman", who is in every woman but no single woman is ever completely her? I hadn heard of this brother sister duo. The only one I recall from those days is The Carpenters.


JG Hemlock profile image

JG Hemlock 2 months ago from VISIONS AND DREAMS

Your such a romantic!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DreamerMeg,

Thank you from my heart for your sweet comment. I was dreaming and chasing "her," and let me explain and please keep an open mind.

I was sitting on my front porch one summer morning. My parents both worked and school was out for the summer, so I was sitting there after finishing my small breakfast and really was not thinking about anything.

Out of the corner of my right eye, and although it was just a twinkle, it was "her" and she shimmered like clear branch water in the sunshine.

She just didn't touch my spirit, but my heart. Then vanished.

I turned sick instantly. Sweat popped out on my head. I thought that I was going to die right then and there.

I never told anyone. And I do mean anyone.

It was not until, like my story says, in 1971, I saw "her" again wearing another shiny gown and she was standing directly by a girl whom I have as my best female friend. She doesn't know about this.

All in all, I may be on the brink of insanity.

But this I DO know. "She" is real.

If you care to elaborate that is cool. Write me anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

JG Hemlock,

If it were that simple. I spilled every ounce of my despair that I had hidden in my guts, on this hub. No. It is not pretty.

I am still in awe of how beautiful this phantom girl really is and that smile of hers is beyond human description.

One day before I leave this life I truly believe we shall meet again.

Stop by anytime.


DreamerMeg profile image

DreamerMeg 2 months ago from Northern Ireland

That's an amazing experience. There are more things that happen than just those the logical naysayers experience. I hope you do indeed see her again, whether she is a fairy or from another dimension, or even thespirit or goddess of woman.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

DreamerMeg,

I have to say, "thank you again," for your understanding on my situation. I can tell you why hardly anyone believes me on this event. I have for the most part, been able to cover my TRUE self with humor, one-liners, and stories that were engineered to mask how I really feel so when I cork off a story like this, only the FEW with "that" special insight, such as yourself, can understand that simple science of life that states:

The physical world, although we are all born in it, live and die in it, is NOT all that is involved with that ONE dimension of life.

"She" is still around. She is ageless I assume and you can bet that in a future time, when my guard is down and I am not looking for her, "she" will show up and the pain will start all over again.

Write me anytime and please keep in touch.


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 3 weeks ago from Kuwait

Lovely hub! :) I enjoyed reading it!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 weeks ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, SakinaNasir53 in lovely Kuwait,

Thank you, my friend, for such wonderful comments. I wish that I had cash enough to pay you for your words, but right now, I do not.

I am so humbled by your remark and due to that remark, I ask that you also read, " . . .Just Thumbin' Down The Reaper," and tell me what you think.

Deal?

Write me anytime.


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 3 weeks ago from Kuwait

Yeah sure! I would love to read your hubs!

Deal! ☺


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 weeks ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@Sakina,

Thank you sincerely.

You are a warm person in spirit and you have a gift for writing.

I am Honored to have you as one of my followers as I am also honored to follow you.

Take a moment today to be in peace with The Maker and yourself.

Fact: this works.

Your Friend for Life, Kenneth


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 3 weeks ago from Kuwait

Thank you so much for your appreciation Kenneth! ☺ Yeah! I believe in peace and prayers too! You are a very kind person. I am glad to be your friend. Have a nice day! ☺


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 weeks ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Sakina,

You are always welcome. I am grateful that you also believe in prayers and peace. I return the compliment to you because YOU are truly a kind girl who is also a talented writer.

I am very proud that you are MY friend.

Peace and have a restful night.


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 3 weeks ago from Kuwait

That's so sweet of you! ☺

I am so happy to have you as my friend. I haven't had many friends in my life as I was very shy in high school. I am better now at least, not so shy as before. I do value friendship a lot. This means a lot to me Kenneth. Peace to you too! God bless you! ☺


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, SakinaNasir53, My Friend in Kuwait,

How are you?

You're very welcome for what I said in my previous comment and I meant every word. You ARE a talented writer and a very kind girl who I am honored to call my Friend.

Peace to you at this Thanksgiving season and Sakina, I hope maybe one day to read one of your best-selling books and get to meet you.

Peace.

Love, Kenneth :)


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 13 days ago from Kuwait

Hi Kenneth, how do you do? ☺

Thank you so much for the kind compliments. Haha! I am just an amateur, to have a best-selling book is my dream...I have just begun writing, without any previous experience or training, in this matter. I hope I can write as well as you do some day! ☺ Peace to you too! God bless you!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Sakina,

You are such a dear, sweet girl to say such warm things to me. I am humbled to the ground by your words/comments.

THANK YOU so much. I cannot repay your kindness, but I will hopefully get to meet you one day.

And listen. You say you have only started writing, well, one story, essay, hub at the time and before you know it, success comes to your front door.

Thanks for the sweet line about my writing, but my prayer is that you will be BETTER than me and that my dear, will take very little effort.

Peace.

Write me anytime.


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 12 days ago from Kuwait

Aww! That's so sweet of you! Thanks for all the compliments and encouragement! ☺ People like you who encourage others will go very ahead in life! God bless you dear!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 12 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

My Dear Sakina,

You are very welcome. I treasure your friendship and always will.

I feel that you are bound for success. Sincerely.

Your Friend, Kenneth


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 11 days ago from Kuwait

Thank you so much Kenneth. Have a nice day. I will always be glad of your friendship and warm regards. ☺


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 10 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Sakina,

You and your comments are so, so sweet. I appreciate your thoughts and ideas and I will Always BE Glad too, of Our Friendship.

Have a Peaceful night.

Kenneth


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 10 days ago from Kuwait

It gives me a nice feeling to meet people like you out there. Stay happy and I pray for success, love and prosperity to be with you in your whole life.

Have a great day my friend! ☺


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Sakina,

It gives ME great pleasure to have a Special Friend, YOU, in Kuwait, a place that I would love to visit one day. I admire your culture and way of life. Honest.

I just smile to myself when I say your name in my mind and spirit because I sense you are a very sensitive and caring young woman. I can sense such things.

But what you prayed for me, I return the same to you but multiplied by 1000 times.

Please write me anytime. Stay sane and keep writing.


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 4 days ago from Kuwait

Hi Kenneth!

Thank you so much! I love Kuwaiti culture here too. Actually, I am an Indian but I was born and brought up in Kuwait. This country has given a lot to us. I am very grateful to live in this little nation.

You too keep in touch! It's nice talking to you. ☺ God bless you dear!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Sakina,

You are so welcome. I was serious. I want to visit Kuwait someday.

I also appreciate your Indian culture and lifestyles. I will keep in touch with you, my sweet friend.

And when I talk to you, I instantly feel good. Thank you :)

Keep on writing and if you pray, remember me in your prayers.


SakinaNasir53 profile image

SakinaNasir53 4 days ago from Kuwait

Hi Kenneth!

Aww! That's so sweet of you! I do pray a lot and you are in my prayers always. It is such a pleasure talking to you! ☺ God bless you always!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 days ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Sakina,

Hello in Kuwait.

Thank you for your sweet spirit. And prayers. I surely need them.

You are a Pleasure to Know.

God bless you Richly, Dear, Dear Friend :)

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