The Finisher

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This is a pretty different style for me, I just wanted to try something new. Would very much appreciate feedback on this one. Thank you




....









~ Winter winds chill the flesh ~ raising mountain ranges ~


to the surface of epidermal expanses ~


~ Rays skim across peaks ~ caressing the valleys ~


Shadow ~ with sunlight ~ conflictingly dances ~




~ My warmth seduces the cold ~


melting the landscape ~


~ Wherever lie streaks of gold ~


the Darkness escapes ~


~ Retreating ~ once again hides ~


behind veil of night ~




~ Spread the word to the masses ~


the Morning approaches ~


~ The wretched father of Earth ~


shall defy me ~ shall fall! ~




~ His bloodied horns ~ severed ~


trapped forever in fire ~


~ His flightless wings ~ broken ~


Spread the word to them all! ~




~ Behold ~ the Finisher rises ~


to assimilate Death ~


~ Incinerating the Fallen ~


with an effortless breath ~




© copyright Ben D.A 2011

Comments 9 comments

BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I say, this style accentuate the point that you want your reader to hear loud and clear. Either way - it's intense and powerful. That's the same reason some of us hooked up on Haiku and Tanka - it hits you hard with just a few meager syllables.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

cardisa - you are always too kind! :]

acer - thank you very much sir

Ian - thanks for your lovely visit, flattery, and bashing of my musical taste ;]

bonne - I really appreciate that! *blush* lol


bonnebartron profile image

bonnebartron 5 years ago from never one place for too long

You got yourself some heart (wouldn't allow me the cool little carrot 3... damn html) sick girli fans here "brown eyes" ;) Well, I'll gush with the rest... different, the squiggles threw me at first, but I love your imagery. :)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

Hate the music... er...loathe the music... er... it's ferkin awful.

But the poetry? That's a horse of a different colour (whatever that means). It's pure, raw and unadulterated talent, Ben. I would be proud to have written it myself, and for an arrogant old bugger like me, that's kudos enough.

Marked UP and BEAUTIFUL.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

~ His bloodied horns ~ severed ~

trapped forever in fire ~

~ His flightless wings ~ broken ~

Spread the word to them all! ~

A Fantastically inspirational poem Ben!;)


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

Changing your style does not change the fact that you are one of the best poets I have ever read...you are simply talented.


thisismylife9123 profile image

thisismylife9123 5 years ago from Salt lake city, UT

nope, i'm honest. you're very welcome. :D


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

thank you cheyenne :D you're sweet


thisismylife9123 profile image

thisismylife9123 5 years ago from Salt lake city, UT

Beauty that reflects the soul of the writer. You still got it, brown eyes. :)

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