The Great Cat Chase

Not a chance

Life surprises me to no end

I come home from a long day and my two cats want to play

Back and forth up and down

Who is chasing who I wonder ?

As I hear the ceremic salt shaker hit the floor

I see my kitten slide across the kitchen table like a baseball player sliding into home plate

Even though there was no dust kicked up or maybe there was since it has been a while since I dusted last

One mat flew to the floor and as my kitten came near the edge she simply turned

What else could I do but yell SAFE!

Yes for one brief moment I had been brought back to the ballgame

Now I want some peanuts and cracker jacks

Wow it is so funny how my mind skips and there I am

Well what I was trying to say before I got interupted by another thought

I love the sheer excitement they bring to life

Sometimes I wonder why they act up

It is usually after one has left the litter box

Maybe they have lightened the load

Now all the energy is built up and it has to go somewhere

It is just a theory

I wonder if anyone has noticed it or is it just me

I concure

Where that came from I don't rightly know

Where I am going with this I am not sure

I will let my cats purring be my guide

As I hear the motor running

A nice strong beat and a little vibration too

Now I feel like I am at the Indianapolis 500

Where the cars are taking lap after lap

At top speeds no one else dares

The thrill and the excitement as my hands are clenched tight

With shock and disbelief why anyone would risk their life for instant fame

But in the next moment both my cat and my kitten are lying down

Like they are simulatiously exhausted and both said I quit at exactly the same time

I feel like I am now in time out and want to take a nap

I just want to put my head down on the desk and see what it feels like

No chance my cat won't give up any space

Boy do I hate a hog

I cannot believe this is happening

Now I thought one hog was bad but now I have two hogs

Instant bookends taking up space

I feel like I am in Egypt and I am looking at the Great Spinx

Every moment is priceless

Each thing they do is crazier than the next

They have stolen the show

No matter what I do now nothing compares

I have lost all concentration

I am better off going to bed

One took down the calendar for no reason

Unless she doesn't like this month and wants to tell me every time she gets a chance

I think my kitten was trying to tell me to change my calendar

It is August first

Wow that means I have a kitten who knows the days of the year

Priceless

Now I can only take so much

My kitten is a rebel like James Dean

She gets into everything and now she just started knocking things over one by one

Any object that is in her way

I can't have her destroying everything even if she is the brightest kitten I know

She has to have respect

Out comes the spray bottle and after a few sprays off she goes

She climbed on my wifes paperwork and was using it for her own slip and slide

It is summer you know

She comes back in the room and peaks her head in then out again

No I was wrong again she is like Yogi Bear

Whereever there is food she will find it

It doesn't matter that she ate ten seconds ago

She made her own cat feeder

By knocking over the tupperware container filled with dry cat food and feeding herself as little or as much as she wants

She is a self starter

A do it yourselfer

I am blessed

What else can I do but accept the truth

Their love for life is greater than my talents to write

When done she walks away like it was nothing

I heard a thump and now she is up on the counter in the kitchen again

Just a second ago a little tiny nat got in my face

I smacked myself

I am loosing it

My kitten came back to check on me

How considerate

More like to laugh at me.

I have never been so stupid as to hit myself in my face and I am your master

No I think it was for more food

No this was Daryl the other cat

He was looking for his fill

I put some in a dish because he has better manners

I can't believe this is happening

Now the kitten is pacing the floor in the hallway

I feel it is more like the adventures of Tom and Jerry

I can't even kill the littlest bug under my nose

Both my animals are not helping me either

I think they know I am writing about them

They are not happy

I think all of this has made me daffy