The Man With No Gift

 This is a nonsense poem about trying to think about what to get somebody as a Christmas present and not wanting it to be something normal and expected.  This is the perfect example of something that hardly ever happens, unless in nonsense poems of course.

 

The Man With No Gift

 

I was thinking of a friend

And what to get him as a gift

Something special for Christmas

To give him a bit of a lift.

 

I was trying to think of an unusual item

Something beyond compare

I didn't want to get him the normal thing

Some socks or underwear.

 

I was trying to think of something

I didn't know what it could be

When this guy came up

And made an offer to me.

 

The thing that he offered

Is that for one day

My friend could be turned into

Anyone in the world that i would say.

 

If i was thinking logically

I don't even think i would

But i decided to try

And asked for Clint Eastwood.

 

I gave him some money

The price he'd asked before

But now he said he'd do it

For a few dollars more.

 

Next time i seen my friend

I couldn't believe it , but of course

He'd turned into the guy

From Magnum Force.

 

His name wasn't Harry

And he wasn't very dirty

But he was walking like a star

And acting real flirty.

 

I asked him "do you feel lucky"

I wasn't sure what he would say

Until Clint-like he muttered

This really does make my day.

 

He started the day as the man with no gift

And became the man with no name

And for using that line in this poem

I am the man with no shame.

 

 

 

Comments 24 comments

katiem2 profile image

katiem2 5 years ago from I'm outta here

Cool, I love Clint Eastwood and the last movie he stared in was amazing. I love watching all the old Clint Eastwood westerns and his modern gang movie is a must see. Thanks :)


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi Katiem2, Thanks for coming over and commenting. Much appreciated. Michael.


CheyenneAutumn profile image

CheyenneAutumn 5 years ago

A gift well recieved -

gift is filled - I do believe.

The friend by his side

now goes by the name of Clyde!

Fun one my friend!


Doug Turner Jr. 5 years ago

"I've always been lucky when it comes to killing folks."


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi Doug, Hope you liked it. Glad you came and commented. Michael.


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi Laurie, Glad you liked it. I liked your verse here. Good stuff. Cheers. Michael.


vietnamvet68 profile image

vietnamvet68 5 years ago from New York State

Great Poem, I could watch old Clint Eastwood all day long I love his moves, I loved Grand Torino movie.

God Bless


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks a lot for your comments vietnamvet68. Much appreciated. Michael.


brownlickie 5 years ago

well put together . a real gem regards brownlickie


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks a lot brownlickie for your kind words. Much appreciated. Cheers. Michael.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Cool! Great poem.


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks Just Ask Susan. Much appreciated.

Cheers. Michael.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

That's a pretty good poem Michael, most of us struggle for some sort of an idea to write a poem about so your quirky poem really hits the spot. Cheers mate and ask for socks next time.


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi attemptedhumour, Thanks for following me and thanks for reading and commenting on this Hub. I'm glad you liked it. Yes, i know maybe i'll get those socks fairly soon. Cheers. Michael.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, michael, that was great! it was a pity you didn't pick brad pitt, you could have sent him down this way! ha ha by the way hows the kilt?! lol take care in all that loverlllly snow! hee hee mind you we are 20 degrees below and it's bloomin' cold! have a great Christmas! cheers nell


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi Nell, Thanks for commenting. Glad you liked it. Yes, i could maybe do an alternative version with Brad Pitt involved!. Getting too cold- might have to stop wearing the kilt and playing the bagpipes!! Merry Christmas, Michael.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Clint has left us some good ones, hasn't he. I enjoyed it, actually I thought it was cute, but guys don't like it when you say that!


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi Fossillady, Thanks for your comments. Much appreciated. Michael.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Excellent play on words!

Well done.


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi Will Starr, Thanks for reading and commenting on this Hub, and thanks for following me. Cheers. Michael.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

....you are certainly a man with a poetic gift and a fine wit to match ...my mum and dad (who are now passed on) were both born in Stirling and my mum came over as a war bride after my dad went back home to Stirling on leave from the Canadian army during World War II - quite a story I would say .....


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Hi Epigramman, Thanks for reading and commenting on this. Yes there is certainly a lot of people with Scottish heritage and an interest in Scotland out there. Cheers. Michael.


attemptedhumour profile image

attemptedhumour 5 years ago from Australia

Hi Michael i thought this deserved a second visit. It is so full of subtle and also silly humour, the second bit being something that i particularly love. Cheers.


michael ely profile image

michael ely 5 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks a lot for your kind words about this one, attemptedhumour. They are much appreciated. Michael.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working