The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #25

Fly lands on President's face
Fly lands on President's face

September 12, 2011 - Food for Thought

A fictional (and satirical) account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Number 25 in the series.

*Michelle enters the White House kitchen.

Barack: (swinging wildly in the air) Good morning, Michelle.

Michelle: What are you doing? Practicing karate?

Barack: No! There is a fly in here. I am going to swat it into another world!

Michelle: You better not. PETA will have a heart attack and start protesting.

Barack: We certainly have had a busy last week. Man! I am tired.

Michelle: Yeah, the weekend tributes to the 9/11 victims were poignant. I am still sad that so many people's lives were taken away.

Barack: Yes. But America will not give in to fear!

Michelle: Barack, its me. You're not in front of an audience.

Barack: Oh, right.

Tyrone the Chef
Tyrone the Chef | Source

Michelle: So do you get a break today? What's on the schedule?

Barack: I have an event in the White House Garden today. I am going to press the lawmakers to pass my jobs bill. Teachers, cops, construction workers and small business owners will be surrounding and supporting me!

Michelle: Really? Are they actors or real people?

Barack: You will not arouse my wrath today, Michelle Obama!

Michelle: Just kidding. Gosh! What are you eating this morning?

Barack: Oatmeal and a banana.You?

Michelle: Pancakes, scrambled eggs, grits and sausage links.

Barack: Damn, Michelle! You must be hungry. You better not let Rush Limbaugh know what you're having! Ha ha ha!

Michelle: Shut up! Tyrone is cooking this morning.

Barack: Tyrone? He's back? That dude can cook!

Michelle: Yes, he can. You know what I like about Tyrone? He is a regular, down to earth guy. And he can put his foot into some food!

Barack: He puts his foot in the food?

Michelle: No, idiot! It is a black cultural, idiomatic term meaning he can cook well!

Barack: I knew that. I was just kidding. I am black you know!

Michelle: Technically, you are half black! (Michelle begins laughing loudly)!

Barack: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michelle: Hey! I just had an idea (after pondering ways to get under Barack's skin)! We should ask Tyrone what he thinks about your jobs program, chances for being re-elected and the state of the nation. Can you handle a little truth, Barack?

Barack: I don't know about asking the kitchen staff for their opinions, Michelle.

Michelle: Oh! So you would rather listen to people that kiss your butt all the time? See what he has to say.

Barack: Alright. But if he gets in trouble with his supervisor, its your fault.

Michelle: Barack, ultimately we are his supervisors. C'mon! Let's see what he says!

* White House chef Tyrone enters the kitchen

Tyrone: (smiling) Good morning, Mr. President, Mrs. Obama!

Barack: Good morning, Tyrone. Let me just say that it is great having you back at the White House. I hope your family emergency has been resolved and you are back with us full-time. Michelle and I were just remarking on how much we enjoy your cooking. You sure do know how to put your foot in some food.

Michelle: (Rolls her eyes, sarcastically)

Tyrone: (looking confused) Uh, thank you, Mr. President. What would you like this morning?

Michelle: Tyrone, I want to ask your opinion on whether the President has a chance to win a second term.

Tyrone: I don't think I should...

Barack: Go ahead, Tyrone. If you don't we'll starve to death!

Tyrone: Well. I don't live far from here and I get my haircut in a local barbershop. The men talk all the time about the high unemployment among black's and...

Michelle: What else, Tyrone?

Tyrone: A lot of them say you have forgotten who helped you get elected. Many say they won't vote for you again.

Barack: Really? Even though we now have universal health care and incentives for small business?

Tyrone: Well, my health premiums have now gone way up and my brother may have to close his business because he can't afford to contribute for his workers.

Barack: How about America's presence around the world? We are removing dictators and bad regimes.

Tyrone: (Looks over to Michelle)

Michelle: Go ahead, Tyrone.

Tyrone: Well, Mr. President. Who made America policeman for the world?

President Obama with President Mubarak
President Obama with President Mubarak
President Obama with Prime Minister Netanyahu
President Obama with Prime Minister Netanyahu

Barack: Huh?

Tyrone: America was friends with Egypt for years and you turned your back on Mubarak. He helped keep the Arab world from attacking Israel.

Barack: But...

Michelle: Let him finish, Barack!

Tyrone: And speaking of Israel. George Bush was a better friend to them. Israel and many Jews here are not liking how they have been treated by your administration.

Barack: Yeah, well we are protecting the interest of the nation...

Tyrone: By continuing to engage in wars we can't win, Mr. President? You promised to get us out of these conflicts - almost immediately. Trillions of dollars are continuing to be spent, outside of America, while Americans are losing their homes and jobs. And some people can't get to work because gas prices are so high. I know you haven't had to go into a grocery store in years, but the price of eggs has skyrocketed. I had to move my mama in with me.

Michelle: The President has come up with a plan to get Americans back to work. Did you watch his speech?

Tyrone: I did.

Barack: (now looking confident) So, what did you think? Great idea, huh?

Tyrone: Is it a jobs plan or a re-election plan?

Barack: (almost chokes while drinking water)

Tyrone: I mean $447 Billion dollars. Who is going to pay for this? We are already in debt, Mr. President. Maybe if tax breaks weren't given to companies that ship jobs overseas and more incentives and less government restrictions were given to companies that remain here, things could change for the better - and we wouldn't be beholden to China, which is holding our debt.

Barack: Well, thank you for your thoughts today, Tyrone. I hope all is well with your family and I look forward to talking to you again soon.

Michelle: (looks at Barack and rolls her eyes, again) Yes, thanks Tyrone. It's good to have you back.

Tyrone: Breakfast, Mr. President, Mrs. Obama?

Barack: None for me.

Michelle: (walking with Tyrone to another part of the kitchen) Tyrone, I will start with those famous pancakes, scrambled eggs, turkey sausage and grits with butter!

Tyrone: I hope the President isn't upset. You asked for my opinion. I mean, I really like him and want him to stick around. He doesn't seem to have an appetite now.

Michelle: Don't worry, Tyrone. He will be just fine. He gets like that sometimes. You should see him when my friend Leroy drops in. He starts off laughing but ends up crying! Leroy is like a pesky little fly!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough

More by this Author


Comments 56 comments

dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Obama could replace his czars with the household staff, but then who would do the work? up, funny and interesting.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Dahoglund! Good question! I'm sure Leroy has a great answer for us!


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 5 years ago from Tucson, Az.

Dexter you're beautiful my man! This was excellent. If Tyrone runs for president, us smart conservatives will become liberals! (I realize that smart conservative is an oxy moron to many. (laughing) Keep up the good work my friend. You have a way of helping people see with both eyes.

jim


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Jim! It is always great when you grace my hubs with your presence and comments! Thank you so much for your very kind words! I have a lot of fun listening in to these "conversations."


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Just amazing stuff, Dex. What is so astounding is that I can picture the Obama's saying each and every word. I also think you probably nail their husband/wife relationship. I suspect Barack walks on some eggshells, and they aren't from breakfast!


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 5 years ago from Jamaica

You know, maybe the President needs a wake up call just like the one portrayed here. He really needs a real "Tyrone" to tell him the truth about what's going on in the streets.

Another great one Dexter!


SheriSapp profile image

SheriSapp 5 years ago from West Virginia

Barry has spent WAAYYY too much time listening ONLY to his ass-kissing sycophants. If he asked some REAL working folks, and then he did something really unusual, like LISTEN...he may be very shocked!!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Will! Thanks so much! Their is this little pesky fly that resides in the White House. Once in awhile, it fills me in on the happenings with the Obama's. If you knew some of the things I have uncovered. Whew!

And yes, Barack certainly does walk on eggshells!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Cardisa! Tyrone and Leroy are really smart individuals. They have a great deal of insight. If they were listened to more, things would be much better!

Thanks, Cardisa! I really appreciate you!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sherri! Welcome and thanks for the fan mail. It is an honor to have you check out my series and I am now a fan and follower of yours.

I hope you come back for more!


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Hi, Dex. You nailed some of the things Obama should be doing to get America on the right path again. Are you sure you are not interested in running for Prez? You do know how to put your foot on the issues!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi DrBJ! Good to hear from you! No, I think I'll stay sane and continue my hum drum life! lol I might end up putting my foot in my mouth, which, unlike food, might not work as well! Thanks so much!


Sueswan 5 years ago

Hi Dexter

Brilliantly funny.

Tyrone: Is it a jobs plan or a re-election plan?

I think most people know the answer to that question.

Michelle has the eye rolling down to an art. lol

Voted up, up and away!


caltex profile image

caltex 5 years ago

Hi, Dex. Loved it! Tyrone is just exactly who Michelle and Obama need for some dose of reality.

Thanks to the pesky fly. I enjoy getting a glimpse of the better side of the first couple. If only it were true!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Dexter this is OUTSTANDING!!! It's the first conversation I read...I'll be back to catch up on the other 24! Great job!!!


Cloverleaf profile image

Cloverleaf 5 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

Dexter, how do you do it? Methinks you are the fly on the wall my friend :-)

Great job as always, voting up!

Cloverleaf


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Another great hub, give Tyrone a pat on the back.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sueswan! Michelle is a remarkable woman when you get to know her! And Tyrone - he will have much more to say! Thanks so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Caltex! Between Tyrone, Leroy and the pesky fly, the President is having fits lately. Let's see how he handles it! Thanks so much!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunshine! Welcome! Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy the others. I am glad you found me!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Cloverleaf! Your comments mean the world to me. The pesky fly has many lives. Almost got swatted once but rebounded with the speed of light! Thanks, Cloverleaf!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Rosemay! Tyrone thanks you and I thank you. Very, very much!


American View profile image

American View 5 years ago from Plano, Texas

Dex,

Another great installment. Cannot wait for the next one


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi American View! Thanks so much and I am glad you liked it!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

Tyrone for President in 2012! Up funny and oh so awesome.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Pop! Tyrone is not only a great cook but he has valuable insight! He plans to call you for some recipes! Thanks, Pop!


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Man, are you sure you're not that fly on the lip of the president, brother?

Awesome! And, I had to share this one on my Facebook, if you don't mind. :D


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Mo! The fly on the wall is a pest! I am not a pest!!! Thank you so much! No problem. I have been concerned about you. I am going to contact you.


Reynold Jay profile image

Reynold Jay 5 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

I can't help but think you took my advice about the "monkey wrench" however in that I have read only a few of these I do not know. For me this one is the best ever of what I have read. Tyroone is a BIG WINNER in this piece and I want to see more of him. And so does everyone else!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Mr. RJ! I DID take your advice. THANK YOU so very much. I think this addition does add something to the morning conversations. I sure do appreciate you helping me to become a better writer and to take more chances!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

This is another funny episode of life in the whitehouse, sounds like they eat real good. Hee Thank you.....


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Always Exploring! Thank you. Yes, they eat very well in the White House!


iZeko profile image

iZeko 5 years ago

It was nice meeting Tyrone here ;-). Another awesome hub, Dexter! Voted across the board.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi iZeko! It is so great to hear from you! Thank you so much! Tyrone has much more to say in the weeks ahead! Stay tuned!


satice_j profile image

satice_j 5 years ago from via the Bronx, NY

Interesting, comical at points, had me laughing loudly. (I can't get over how much Michelle eats in this scenario, or that she is that 'behind the man woman' African American women are always said to be. She looks like the best candidate for the 2012 office.) Overall a great read. I'm continuing to read!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Satice! Welcome and I am honored that you visited and read my hub. Thank you so much and I hope you will like the others you read! Michelle is a big time eater - sometimes! :-)


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

Great Dex..I really enjoyed this one..I was like Tyrone..When listening to the presidents speech I was wondering if the president was all about re-election jabs..hard call...I agree..TYRONE for PRESIDENT..he seems to be on the ball!

Thanks Dex

Sunnie


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunnie! Thank you so very much! Tyrone sure does have guts, huh? He has more to say...soon!


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

I surely needed some smiles so thank you ever so much. The facial expressions really got me giggling tonight!

I am sooo ready for "Stand Up Night" with Dex...

Voted UP & FA-- have a wonderful weekend, mar.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Marcoujour. I am glad to see you here. I am working towards "Stand Up Night!" Thanks for your great comments! Have a great weekend!


Ghost32 5 years ago

Jim beat me to it a bit, but I believe we should take this to another level and

DRAFT TYRONE FOR PRESIDENT!!!

NEW POLL, STUNNING RESULTS!!!

1. Can Tyrone do a better job running this country than the current occupant of the Oval Office? Respondents say YES, 98% to 2%.

2. Can Barack COOK in case they really do have to swap jobs? Respondents say NO, 100% to 0%.

Voted (in your own words) Up, up and away!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Ghost! Yes, let's draft Tyrone! Stay tuned. I believe he has some more shocking things to say! Always a pleasure to have you comment! Thanks!


JT Walters profile image

JT Walters 5 years ago from Florida

Hi Dexter,

I found this hub to be humerous.

JT


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi JT! Thanks. I hope you will read others!


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

...well another one for the ages - and another one to be posted on my Facebook page with a direct link back here.

lake erie time 4:00pm


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Well, well! I am graced with a visit from the Epigramman! Thanks so much for your tremendous support!


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Dexter, this is a great episode. Throne knows more than just pancakes! (And I found my way here through Epi's link, not sure what is going on with notifications.)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Mckbirdbks! Tyrone is a phenomenal man. Wise and witty. A fabulous guy!!! Thanks.


UniqueVanities profile image

UniqueVanities 5 years ago from Ohio

Hysterical. Period. Definitely a series I'll be watching for! Voted up, intersting, and funny! :)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi UniqueVanities! Welcome! I appreciate the kind comments. More to come very soon!


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 5 years ago

Dex!

Really cool! I love the photo with our pres in the superman outfit! LOL too funny! Why can't he have the secret service catch that fly? laughing so hard. I love it! voted up! :) oh..and thanks for mentioning me in your profile page. hugs! You are too sweet!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi Jo! I have missed you. I am glad you are back! Thanks so much!


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

PETA protects flies now!? What's next? Fleas, ticks, and lice? :D

I enjoyed this Hub. Tyrone is a hoot. Funny stuff. Thanks.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi James. Tyrone is something else, isn't he? Thanks for checking it out!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 5 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Having coffee and laughing my butt off! lolol! I can hear their voices talking to each other you have made these hubs so real. How talented you are! Thumbs up! :D


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States Author

Hi AEvans! Thank you so much. I always appreciate your kind remarks!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working