The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #35

Obamaman
Obamaman
Breakfast
Breakfast

July 12, 2012 - The Dark Knight - LOL

A fictional (and satirical) account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Number 35 in the series.

(In the White House Kitchen)

Michelle: Good morning! How are you feeling today?

Barack: Great! I feel like Superman! How are you?

Michelle: Fine. Breakfast? Tyrone!

(Tyrone, the White House Chef, enters)

Tyrone: Good morning, folks! What can I get you?

Barack: Scrambled eggs, turkey sausage and some of those tasty homemade biscuits!

Michelle: Just coffee, Tyrone.

Tyrone: I will return shortly.

Michelle: What's on the agenda today?

Barack: Heading to Houston to speak at the NAACP conference, I think. Maybe Joe Biden will go instead.

Michelle: Oh, cool! Make sure you don't make any stupid comments like Mitt did yesterday.

Barack: I know! The crowd was very cordial and polite to him - until he mentioned repealing ObamaCare. What an idiot! Who are his handlers? His speechwriter? You should always know your audience!

Michelle: Well, you haven't always known YOUR audience, Mr. President.

Barack: Yeah, but I have sense not to go before a black crowd and dis a program that a black president has worked hard to get passed - all while being an out of touch, rich, white man.

You're Fired
You're Fired
Change You Can Believe In
Change You Can Believe In
Obama - The Amazing Spiderman
Obama - The Amazing Spiderman

Michelle: Did you see his face when he got booed? He looked like someone had just farted while he was munching on one of his expensive lunches!

Barack: Yeah! I hope it wasn't one of the maids! "You're fired!"

Michelle: Ha ha ha!!!

Barack: What a nutcase! Can you imagine me addressing a Ku Klux Klan rally - "I want to thank this organization for all it has done over the years. Your dedication to community service, voter registration and racial tolerance is well known. You have had some challenges and there are tough times ahead. I can see behind the sheets. And we need some Latino faces there, some Asian faces behind those sheets. We need some gay faces and some black faces to help move this organization and this country forward! Thank you!"

Michelle: (laughs hysterically)

Barack: I have so got this election wrapped up! The Supreme Court came through for me - Latino voters love me again!

Michelle: Yeah, but black voters are hurting and some don't like your stand on gay marriage.

Barack: I've got time. I will win them back.

Michelle: And white democrats and independents?

Barack: Oh, and you think they will vote for Romney? Conservatives don't even like him. They just don't have anything better to offer!

Michelle: Don't get big headed!

Barack: I am amazing! I am the Amazing Spiderman!

Michelle: Do you have that foot-mouth disease again?

Barack: I am The Dark Knight!

Michelle: Hmmm. More like The Cloudy Day.

Barack: Barack Obama: The Dark Knight Rises!

Obama - The Dark Knight
Obama - The Dark Knight
Obama - Captain America
Obama - Captain America

Michelle: Barack! Stop with the foolishness. What is your plan with high unemployment and a tough economy?

Barack: Keep people entertained with new superhero movies, sports and talent shows! This way, they don't realize that real change is coming!

Michelle: What?

Barack: Yeah, keep em blind and lazy!

Michelle: What?

Barack: C'mon, Michelle! The American people are lazy. I mean, for years they have criticized ebonics. For example, ebonics - "You gots to git dem Benjamins so you kin git dat bling-bling fo yo ride." In English - "You need to get money so that you can afford expensive accessories for your car."

Michelle: Your point?

Barack: Caucasians created an ebonic like language too, but based on laziness via texting. It now has impacted all Americans. Yeah see, technology meets laziness.

Michelle: Get to the point!

Barack: The American people can't write complete, grammatically correct sentences anymore. They use letters like lol, lmao, rofl, ?4U.

Michelle: And?

Barack: This will cause the biggest divide in the nation - it won't be due to race, religion, economics or sex. It will be based on communication!

Michelle: You have lost it!

Obama - The Hulk
Obama - The Hulk
Text Lingo
Text Lingo
New Language
New Language
Words, Yo?
Words, Yo?

Barack: Use your education, Michelle! It will be old against young! People over 50 versus people under 50. Have older folks try to decipher this language:

HAGN

.02

10Q

IAC

JAM

NM

UW

Michelle: So keep the nation confused, lazy and entertained?

Barack: The road to victory, my dear! Just think, very soon, young people won't even speak in English. They will use characters and numbers and abbreviations!

Michelle: Like?

Barack: 4Y 411, 143. U R 2G2BT. IAC, LMFAO. RMLB, BASOR!

Michelle: And this means what?

Barack: That's the point. Pretty soon people will start talking like this. The nation will really be confused! Socialism is on the move! Oh, and I said, "For your information, I love you. You are too good to be true. In any case, laughing my fat ass off! Read my lips baby, breathing a sigh of relief!"

Michelle: Well, I will stick with straight ebonics - "Step off Cool, before I bust PHAT CAPS in yo A** wit my Neiner." Translation - "It would be beneficial to your physical state to leave this area, as I will soon be encouraged to shoot bullets into your buttocks with my 9mm pistol."

Barack: Ebonics is hysterical! Have you heard this one? ADOBE - "After my apartment was broken into, da police axed me how'd they got in. I said, '"A DO BE open out back.'"

Michelle: This one is better. POKE - "I likes poke...poke chops...and poke ribs!"

Barack: I've got one: Question - What does the word 'benign' mean? Answer - Right after you be eight you 'benign!'

Michelle: You can't top this one: The Ten Ebonics Commandments

1. I be God. Don' be dissing me.
2. Don' be makin’ hood ornaments outa me or nothin’ in my crib.
3. Don' be callin me for no reason - homey don' play that.
4. Y'all betta be in church on Sundee.
5. Don' dis ya mama, an if ya know who yo daddy is, don' dis him neither.
6. Don' ice ya bros.
7. Stick to ya own woman.
8. Don' be liftin’ no goods.
9. Don' be frontin’ like you all that an no snitchin' on ya homies.
10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nothin'.

Barack: OK! You got me, Michelle! I can't top that!

Tyrone: Breakfast is served!

Barack: Tyrone, do you speak any ebonics?

Tyrone: No, but when I was in Chicago the other day, the police told me and my friend Leroy they was looking for the guys that robbed the liquor store. We said, "ANUS."

Michelle: lol

Barack: ROTFL

Copyright © 2012. Dexter Yarbrough. All Rights Reserved.

Obama - Daredevil
Obama - Daredevil

More by this Author


Comments 52 comments

Woody Marx profile image

Woody Marx 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

great illustrations! I think the Vice Pres. is doing the NAACP this year. Obama was afraid to show up himself I suppose. Not that anything is his fault. It's all the Republicans with their stand-their-ground-agenda vis a vis taxes for the rich. Rather makes me ill to see how they block the President in every way they can. But enjoyed your funny piece to give us some perspective.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

OH..Thank you Dex! Just in time to brighten my day and give me a much-needed boost! Nothing inspires me more than Super Barack.....not to mention that Tyrone is just too damned COOL!

Our buddy BHO....the "POTUS," will need to adopt the HULK personna real soon.....It might be nice to finally see some smoke come out those loving-cup ears of his!!!!!!!!!!!!! UP & AWAY!!!!


Sherry Hewins profile image

Sherry Hewins 4 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

Hilarious, as usual. I love the Ten Ebonics Commandments. Keep 'em comin' Dexter.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I thought of you when I heard what Mitt said and the crowds reaction!! I was so hoping I'd read #35 soon and I did!! I'd like to Hulk Smash him!! Super Obama rocks!!

Michelle was in Orlando this week and she was welcomed by thousands of supporters:)

Outstanding Conversation hub, as always:)


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Hi Son,

Thank you for the needed lesson in 'text lingo' amidst this humorous conversation. I also greatly enjoyed this version of the commandments!

Lovin Tyrone but rather anxious as to how Leroy is doing...

Voted UP & FAB. Hugs from your, Momma


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee

Extremely funny again, Dex!

Romney looked pretty stiff and sometimes scared during that address. But I'd be curious to see the tables turned and Obama make a speech to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir :0


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

This may be the best ongoing series on HubPages! You are brilliant my friend and this series is a classic! Well done and thanks so much for the belly laughs.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Dexter. This is yet another great episode. I couldn't read half of it with all those acronyms and Ebonics . Good to know Tyrone is well.


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 4 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

I can just imagine what you'll write if Romney becomes president. Political satire has had an honorable place throughout history. Keep it up.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Forget the other candidates, Dex. I'm backing Tyrone. He's the MAN!


iamaudraleigh 4 years ago

I am for Tyrone too!


hscchemistry profile image

hscchemistry 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

awesome.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Woody Marx! Thanks for checking out my hub! Come back again!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Fpher! I agree wholeheartedly! Thanks for reading and your support!

Tyrone is one special guy (sometimes he doesn't realize this).


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Sherry! I am glad you liked it. More to come!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sunshine! You know I would never let you down! Thank you so much!

Oh and Leroy says hello!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Momma! Tyrone and Leroy were together in Chicago a couple of weeks ago. They both are fine!

Thank you for your support of my crazy series!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Beth! Thank you! I agree. I don't think BHO would do well in front of the LDS folks - without a teleprompter! Ha ha ha!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Billybuc! You are a true gentleman. Thanks for your support and kind words! I appreciate you more than you will ever know!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Dahoglund! If Obama loses, I will begin a series on Romney AND do one on the downfall of BHO!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi DR. BJ! Tyrone is da man! Thank you!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Audra! Tyrone is pretty special! Thank you!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Hscchemistry! Thank you so much. Come back again!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Mckbirdbks! Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments. Barack did his job well. He confused you! Ha ha ha!!!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 4 years ago

Oh my God, I think I 'm starting to like theses people! Up and funny and awesome!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Ha ha! Great comment, Pop! Thanks!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee

Dex, it is interesting you mentioned the teleprompter lol! My kids were recently discussing POTUS's teleprompter (they'd overheard hubby and I talking about it) and they asked if it had a name. When we asked why they thought the teleprompter should have a name our youngest said that if Daddy has a name for his car (which he does, "Bestsy") and if the President can't drive these days (he is the President after all and needs security) then he needs to name his teleprompter. Then they sat there for some time bouncing possible names off each other. I recall some of the possibilities: Alfred, Dopey, James Bond, Snape, Master Blaster, Word Meister, Ebeneezer, ect. In the end they decided POTUS's teleprompter should be called Boris. Don't ask me why the two decided on Boris, but I find it rather cute :)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Out of the mouths of babes! Boris is a cool name for a teleprompter. I'm going to mention it to Leroy. The next time he is in D.C., maybe he will make fun of BHO and Boris! Thanks, Beth!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

HaHaHa, It's 'gonna take me some time to stop laughing. This is soo funny. You are so clever. I'm always happy to see you have the latest happenings in the whitehouse. Cheers..


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK

Brilliant read, Dexter. I felt like I was there and was visualising your words. So funny, but also thought provoking too as you include current events.

I like the photos of Super Man Obama and Incredible Hulk Obama.

Thanks.


Sueswan 4 years ago

Hi Dexter!

You have written a comedy masterpiece my friend.

Loved it, especially the speech for the Ku Klux Klan rally. LMAO

Take care :)

Voted up across the board.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Sueswan! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!


CyberShelley profile image

CyberShelley 4 years ago

Hi Dexter, I also enjoyed the Ku Klux Klan speech - you have a great talent. Thanks for sharing, Voted up, funny and Pinned.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi CyberShelley! Thank you so much! I sure do appreciate your support of my series!


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

This is my favorite installment so far. That explains the recent success and American obsession with the Avengers. The Hulk photo about made me spit out my coffee!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Tammy! I am so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

This had me laughing all the way. Another great breakfast treat with the Obama's. We really need another super hero movie. The Dark Knight lol or should that be lmao? ha ha! the irony : )


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Molometer! Now, YOU have a great sense of humor! lol, lmao, rofl


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 4 years ago from United States

Another awesome conversation. The "new" languages made for an hysterical conversation. You have a great imagination.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

The last half of the "conversation" jumped into my head from nowhere! Thanks, Pamela!


Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

Another hilarious episode Dex. I didn't stop laughing from start to end and still laughing now. Love the Ku Klux Klan speach.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Thanks, Rosemay. I am due for another installment!


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Well Dexter, I've been away, but knew when I got back, I had to stop by. You haven't lost your touch, this is Hilarious!


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi b. Malin! I have been away as well. I have to get back into the swing of things. Thank you!


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 4 years ago

Hi Dex! Long time no see :) It is so good to read up on the Obama's! I really enjoy your feature and you are still amazing inspirational!

YTBM= "You the Best man". :) voted up and shared and deserved a tweet. Today they celebrate their 20th wedding anivs. :) pretty cool :)


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Jo! You are always sooo kind!!! Thank you!!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

Dexter-it's been awhile since I read your hilarious 'Morning' conversations and you have not disappointed me yet. Rated way up and FUNNY. BTW when, when, WHEN? will your fans see the conversation following the FIRST debate???? I am sure Ms. Michelle had PLENTY to say to Mr. O that following morning, hee hee. (oh, and don't forget the debate took place on their wedding anniversary).

I'll be back to tune in...take care.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Denise! Thanks so much! I have been traveling and feel bad that I have neglected the "Morning Conversations." I promise that a new episode is forthcoming. Thanks for your kind words!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 4 years ago from North Carolina

Just be sure it has to do with the presidential debates...it ought to be hilarious. Hope your travels went well. I know it's getting to the point where I don't even like flying anymore.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Denise! Yes, I will make it quite entertaining!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Well Dexter I have decided to begin following from this part onwards.

I am so far behind reading that it ios going to work out better thisway.

I have done the same with a couple of other hubs also.

This one is amazing ;so witty and so clever.

I now look forward to the next instalment.

I vote up here plus share onto my FB page.

Enjoy your day

Eddy.


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States Author

Hi Eddy! Thanks so much! And #36 is out! I really appreciate you!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working